I shut the door on Will’s chuckles.
I found Xav sitting on the steps in the Piazza San Marco—the exact same spot where we had shot our scene for the movie. My heart did its little flip in my chest on seeing him with the backdrop of the bell tower and the water-filled square. The buildings were mirrored in the flood brought by the high tide, but I guessed that it wasn’t his own reflection that he was studying. His thoughts were turned inward; his hands were held loosely over his knees, head down. I sat beside him.
‘Hey,’ I said softly.
‘Hey.’ He looked up, eyes warm but no greeting smile.
‘Something the matter?’
‘Just … getting my head around what happened. You wouldn’t stop.’
‘I know.’
‘I thought you were going to have an aneurysm on the brain or something.’
‘I’m OK.’
‘Just. I had to patch up a few blood vessels, you know?’
Ouch. I touched my forehead. ‘I didn’t. Thank you.’
A tour party walked behind us, the guide waving a scrap of red material on his stick like the kind of toy you use to tease a cat. His pussycat followers gambolled after him, cameras rather than bells round their necks.
‘I’ve been sitting here and deciding that you put me in the position of someone linked up to a soldier in a war zone. I hate sending you into combat but I know you had to go.’
I was relieved he wasn’t outright blaming me. ‘Thank you. This gift—it won’t always be like this.’
He gave a huff that sounded full of scepticism.
‘I’m learning my moves right now. I’ll try really hard not to put so much of myself out there on the line next time.’
‘So there will be a next time?’
I tapped my feet on the step. ‘Yes, well, I did promise Alberto the butler that I’d go back and try to do something for him and his people.’
‘When?’
‘Tomorrow.’
‘Jeez, Crystal, I’m not sure my heart can take much more of this.’
‘Do you want me to break my promise to them?’
‘No. That’s the really, really annoying thing: I’m behind you one hundred per cent. I just don’t like it.’
That was OK then. I leant against him. ‘My advice? Don’t walk behind.’
‘Good rule. Not to say the view isn’t mighty fine from there.’
I grinned. ‘Walk with me. It looks like I need you to patch me up.’
‘I can see I’m going to have my hands full, particularly when you have this tendency to bolt ahead and get into all kinds of trouble.’
I picked one up from his knee and draped it on mine. ‘Consider yourself fully employed.’
We sat for a while just enjoying the sunset painting the ancient stones a blushing pink. It was a magical city, polished like the intricate mechanism of an old ornamental clock, out of date but still ticking away. Until time ran out for it, that is.
‘How many lovers have sat here, would you say?’ he asked, gesturing to the square with the sunken entrance to the basilica, the Doge’s palace and ranks of waiting gondolas bobbing on the lagoon.
‘Too many. We are in danger of becoming a cliché.’
‘I don’t mind; do you?’
‘Not a bit.’
He held my hand, warm palm to my cold one.
‘Your brothers are worrying we are going to forge a united front and turn our teasing upon them.’
‘Sounds a plan.’
‘But I’ve rumbled you, Xav Benedict.’
He arched a brow. ‘Am I so simple to see through?’
‘For your soulfinder. You’ve carved out a role for yourself in the family as the joker but, oddly enough you … ’
He smiled. ‘You’re saying I’m odd?’
‘If the cap fits, mate … Anyway, as I was saying: oddly enough, you might be one of the deepest thinkers, certainly the most compassionate. You use your humour, like Diamond does her peace-making, to defuse, to heal if you can.’
The humour faded from his expression to be replaced with something more like an aching vulnerability. ‘I guess I might do that. I hadn’t really thought about it much. It’s just what I do.’
‘But you can get it wrong, push the joking too far.’
‘You mean I’m not perfect?’ He sounded relieved rather than offended.
‘Exactly. Sometimes the comedy stops people realizing you can be hurt as much as someone of a more serious character. It’s not going to be easy for you being my soulfinder, is it?’
He squeezed my hand. ‘In one way, it’s the easiest thing ever, as natural as breathing, but I can’t say I find you suffering a pleasant experience to watch, no.’
‘I know. But it kind of feels right, doesn’t it? That I’m linked to a healer? I need you to be the person I should be, use my skill to the full.’
‘Happy to be of service.’
‘But I don’t want you to feel you have to be part of some sort of entourage around me, like Steve with his social secretary and minders. I felt like that when I was travelling with Diamond. We have to make sure it is the Xav and Crystal show, not mine alone.’
His shoulder bumped me. ‘Sweet of you to worry about that, but do you really think I have an ego so easily crushed?’
Now I came to think about it … ‘Er, no.’
‘Cupcake, I’ll turn the spotlight on for you with great pleasure, but once it’s on, don’t be surprised if I break out for a little tap dance of my own.’
‘Happy Feet.’
‘You said it. Come on, I’ve done my brooding, sorted it in my head for the moment: time to go back.’
‘Trace is cooking Nonna’s lasagna.’
‘Wow. I must see this.’
‘He was wearing her little apron and everything.’
Xav picked up his pace. ‘Got a camera?’
The next day my family descended in force. I had not seen them together in one place since Dad’s funeral and I had forgotten how quite overwhelming they could be when not staggering under the weight of grief. Peter, my favourite brother, a heart-stealer with his crop of auburn hair and big green eyes, gave me a crushing hug and swirled me in a circle as soon as he was through customs at the airport. He eyed Xav guardedly then decided he had to be a good thing as I looked so happy and offered his hand for a shake. I knew then that they were going to get along famously. My other brothers and sisters were too busy fielding infants to give Xav a hard time. Topaz in particular was ready to sing his praises when he charmed her reluctant toddler to get in the water taxi by making funny faces at her.
‘You’ve got yourself a good one there,’ she said, ‘we’re so pleased for you.’
Misty, the long-suffering eldest niece, was babysitting the middle two. She met my eyes and rolled them at her twin sisters who were already hanging off Xav as if he was their favourite climbing frame and they two little monkeys. Topaz’s husband, Mark, corralled the final two of their six to sit on the bench behind us. He smiled at me but I could feel there was a new strain in their relationship. Topaz and Mark weren’t soulfinders and now my sister could ask me to uncover who she should have been with. I wasn’t sure what I would do if she did request the information.
‘Is everything going to be all right?’ I asked.
‘We’ve talked about it,’ said Topaz, immediately knowing what I had in mind, ‘and we have decided we don’t want to know. I do love Mark and he loves me. It might not be the kind of love that sets the world on fire, but we are good together and the children need us.’ She patted my knee. ‘We are happy.’
‘Xav says that we all have gifts. Mark may not be a Savant but he has his own power, doesn’t he?’
‘Yes, he’s the kindest man I know and very witty. He makes me laugh.’
‘Then maybe holding out for your soulfinder would have been completely the wrong decision.’
She nodded. ‘That’s what we think. What can be compared to sharing six wonderful children? The
re is more than one way of being complete, no matter what the romantics tell you.’
‘I’m glad.’ And I was. I had been dreading that she would ask me to tell her who her counterpart was and then I’d be responsible for wrecking a perfectly good marriage.
My family had come determined to make up for lost time and to put me centre stage, what with the discovery of both my power and my soulfinder, but I was adamant that this was Diamond and Trace’s moment. Not to mention that with lots of under-tens bouncing off the walls, it was hardly the occasion for a heart-to-heart about how many mistakes we had made as a family, getting my gift so wrong.
Karla and Saul took on the responsibility for entertaining—good of them as I had the little matter of the contessa’s staff to sort out. Diamond had insisted she accompany me as her gift could help the tensions in the household. Trace and Xav refused to be kept away so it was quite a party that arrived at the gate.
Alberto came to the steps to let us in. ‘If you would follow me. We weren’t sure if you’d come back.’
‘I promised, so here I am.’
This was the first time I’d seen inside the walls in daylight. The house looked more dilapidated than I expected; the frames on the windows were sorely in need of paint; cracks snaked up the wall—a fitting image of the person inside.
‘How is the contessa?’
‘Not well, signorina. She has taken to her bed. We will not be disturbed.’
I relayed this information to Xav. ‘Do you think I hurt her when we had our mind tussle?’
Xav refrained from pointing out that she had been the one to attack me and brought it on herself. ‘I’ll check on her if she’ll let me.’
The staff had gathered in the spacious kitchen of the mansion, six men ranging from Alberto to the pilot. They were either brothers or cousins, all related to the original enemy, Minotti. It took a while for me to explain the background and why I was here. Fortunately, in their mind-numbed states, their reactions were muted: no one flew off in a rage or marched up to the contessa’s bedroom to take their revenge. The prevailing mood was that of baffled sadness as to why anyone should do this to them for so long.
Now I knew how to go about unravelling her mind-muffler, I asked the staff to use their skills to help me break out their true personalities from the tidying away the contessa had done. It was new territory for me as there was no soulfinder to complete the process.
Alberto stood in front of the men, their nominated spokesman. ‘Do you know what we will experience?’
I shook my head. ‘I guess it will feel scary. You are used to being confined in a certain way of thinking. I won’t do anything if you’d prefer to remain as you are.’
‘None of us want that. We’ve discussed it and accept the risks.’
‘OK, let’s give this a go.’
It was simpler than I imagined. The contessa had had to be brutal to eradicate the soulfinder bond in Diamond, Karla, Phoenix, and Sky; with these men, she had merely kept dosing them with mild touches of her power, folding any emerging links back into the tidy pattern she sought, clipped close like the box hedges of her garden. Xav did not even have to relieve me of a headache when I finished with the last one.
‘How do you feel?’ I asked. The process was not so abrupt as the restoration of the soulfinder link, more like a gradual waking up.
Alberto sat in an upright chair by the old cooking range. ‘I feel confused.’ He frowned, like someone just catching a whiff of a bad smell. ‘And angry.’
Diamond stepped forward and exerted her gift in the room. ‘You’ve all served one very sad old lady faithfully for many years. You can reflect with pride on that excellent record, even if one that was unfairly foisted on you. You can now choose new lives.’
‘Should we not make her pay for what she did to us?’ asked the pilot.
‘I think, signor,’ argued Diamond, ‘she has been paying a heavy price ever since the day your father took her soulfinder from her. What good would vengeance be but to carry on a family feud that should never have started?’
The man looked thoughtfully at Diamond and then nodded. ‘Yes, you’re right.’ He rubbed his wrists as if just freed from shackles. ‘But I don’t owe her anything now. I’m leaving. Anyone else?’
From the chorus of voices I gathered that the contessa would soon require a completely new team of servants. Only Alberto looked torn. In my opinion, it wasn’t right that he should feel responsible for someone who had cramped his life for so long.
‘Go on,’ I urged him. ‘I’ll make sure someone comes to look after her. She still has friends in this city—the priest at her church will sort it out when I tell him.’
‘Tell him what, signorina? He won’t believe what she is.’ I welcomed the flash of humour I saw in Alberto’s eyes; the real man was slowly finding his feet.
‘You had a dispute about wages, of course, and all walked out in solidarity. No one will think that odd.’
‘Thank you. For everything.’ He paused. ‘And if I asked you to locate our soulfinders, would you do so? Even after what we did to your family?’
I guessed this would be the first of many such requests. ‘Of course—and you did not do anything you need apologize for: we understand you weren’t responsible for your actions. You know where to find me.’ It was the least I could do for people who had arguably been the worst victims of the contessa’s form of madness.
Xav took my hand. ‘Let’s go see the contessa. I’ll need you to translate.’
We found her sitting up in bed staring blankly at the window. Her bed was an ornate four-poster with dusty hangings. The drapes at the casement were faded crimson silk. Her eyes flicked to the door when we came in, then went back to the view across to the bell tower in Piazza San Marco.
‘Oh, it’s you. Come to beg for my help?’
I followed the direction of her gaze. The lace-covered table by the window was decorated with photos of her and her husband in happier days. She held a locket in her hand, gold chain spilling onto the quilt. I could guess that it contained another memory of him.
‘Yes, it’s me. This is Xav Benedict—you haven’t met him properly yet.’ I checked the water in the jug beside the bed. ‘Do you need anything?’
‘I’m not going to help you. I won’t undo what I’ve done. I can’t so … so I won’t regret it.’
‘I wouldn’t expect you to. I managed to undo it myself.’
‘You did?’ She turned to look at me.
‘It wasn’t easy.’
‘I thought it impossible. I always thought it too late to turn back once I had begun.’
‘No, it wasn’t. I have freed the minds of your staff too.’
She sank back on the pillows, her face grey against the white. ‘Perhaps it was time. Should I expect to be murdered in my bed?’
‘More than time. And no, they are not after revenge.’ I poured her a glass of water. ‘You should never have done what you did.’
Xav stepped to the bedside. She flinched as if expecting a blow.
He held out his hand. ‘May I?’
‘Xav’s a healer. He’s not going to hurt you.’
She inched her wrist closer which he took as permission. Closing his eyes, he examined her with his gift.
‘There’s nothing really wrong with you, bearing in mind your age. I think you are just tired, contessa,’ he announced.
‘Yes, I’m tired.’ She pulled her hand away. ‘Of everything. Of life.’
Tired and lonely, I guessed. ‘Shall I send someone to you?’
‘There’s no one to send. My son’s in jail.’
‘His family?’
‘They don’t care about me. They just care about inheriting my money.’
‘I’ll ask the priest to come and sit with you.’
She nodded. ‘Yes, ask Father Niccolo to come.’
There was nothing more we could do. Her tone was hopeless, but she had brought this on herself, which made it all the sadder.
Xav followed me out. ‘Funny that our confrontation ends with me feeling sorry for her.’
‘Me too. Perhaps I could arrange to see her son? Have a talk with him and sort him out?’
Xav tapped the banister. ‘Meddling again?’
‘Yes. I can’t seem to help it.’
‘I get that but I think it would be better if she did the unravelling. It would be more, well, healing that way.’
‘You’re right.’ Xav had great instincts. ‘I’ll suggest it to her when she’s recovered a little and tell her how to go about it.’
We joined up with the others in our waiting water taxi, closing the gate on the old house. I was acutely aware that I was heading back to a family-filled apartment in the city, leaving one very sad old lady alone with nothing but her bitterness. I was not so ignorant of the uglier parts of human nature as to think that I could not have been her had I gone through what she had. I vowed every day from now on to appreciate the happiness I had, not take Xav for granted.
And there was one person to whom I had to say sorry that I had taken her for granted. She was waiting in the apartment when I got home, youngest grandchild on her knee. She didn’t see me at first so I stood for a moment, savouring the fact that she was there, still with us, putting aside her deep grief to be part of the family. Her choices were so much better than the contessa’s.
‘Hey, Mama. How are you?’ I asked, giving her a gentle kiss on the cheek. Her short dark hair was tucked behind one ear; a pair of diamond studs given to her by our dad on their last anniversary glittering in her lobes.
‘Oh, I’m having a wonderful time, thank you. All your friends here are so kind—and Trace’s family are simply delightful!’ She bounced baby Robin, cutting off some infant grizzles before they took root.
Tears pricked my eyes. ‘Dad would have been so proud to see you now.’
‘Oh, darling, what a lovely thing to say!’ My mama beamed up at me. She knew what I was trying to convey.
‘Having Xav means I understand. Sorry I was so … so angry before.’
She cuddled Robin against her shoulder, patting his back rhythmically. ‘My bad years did not come at a good time for you—I realize that. I wish it had been different—that Charles could be here to see all of you wonderful children doing so well. I would feel more guilty than I do, but as Karla said to me this morning, you’ve come through with flying colours so maybe I should settle for just saying “I love you”.’
Benedict 03 - Seeking Crystal Page 23