Ross stopped talking, his look of incredulity speaking more than words could say. S’leen, too, was somewhat in shock. She’d had no idea that people of any species could delude themselves that way.
Even talking about it upset Ross, and to burn off some of the nervous energy he began pacing around the kitchen; S’leen’s undivided attention followed him. His rage was frightening as he said, “The stupid bastards had NO CONCEPT of what such a thing—even if it could be done—would really mean!” His voice started breaking down with emotion as he said, “It just gets crazier and crazier, S’leen! They thought—they thought everyone would just live ‘happily ever after’ in…in some kind of idyllic fantasy world!
“When we humans found you H’kaah, along with all the other sentient alien species ‘out there’,” he continued, his rage building, “each of you were safe—and isolated—on your own private world. The furries simply thought that…that people whose apparent ancestors were wolves, bears, rabbits, deer, sheep—sheep, for God’s sake!—tigers, lions— They… they thought you all could just simply get along. Ignoring all logic and common sense, they believed you could basically throw natural mortal enemies together and…and everybody would just be friends! Try as we might, we couldn’t make those poor misguided fools understand why we were working so damned hard to keep the predators and their prey apart!” At that point Ross finally, completely broke down and cried, his great wracking sobs of anger and frustration backing him into a corner and eventually crumpling him into a hopeless ball on the floor.
S’leen didn’t know what to do, but since the one person she cared most about was hurting she left her chair and sat in the corner with him, enfolding him into her warm, musky embrace. He cried on her shoulder like a heartbroken child, years of anguish, guilt and frustration finally breaking free in one overwhelming flood. It took him nearly ten minutes to get it out of his system, but when he did he showed S’leen that there was even more to be shocked about.
“We humans are all the same species,” he finally began after wiping his eyes and blatting his nose on a paper towel, “but we have minor racial variations, kind of like your fur color/pattern/texture/ear differences. Yet we happily enslave, torture and butcher each other, and have done so since…since there’ve been humans. I know how bad such a nightmare can be, S’leen; I was right in the middle of it for years!” His haunted look made her want to run, but instead she hugged him close, rubbing her lush-furred cheek against his own stubbled one.
“It took some radical thinking,” he said, “but eventually we came up with the Patrons concept, hoping to…to ‘condition’ some of the young members of all the various species, aggressive and non-aggressive alike, to the concept of peaceful coexistence with each other.
“There are dangerous times coming for us all,” he warned, “and if we don’t get our respective acts together there’s a chance none of us will survive.” Ross’ voice had taken on a hard, no-nonsense quality, and he said, “You H’kaah are the first, and the hope is that when you eventually return to your homeworld you’ll take with you the seeds of change. Show your people that it can be done, that it is possible to live alongside those you once would have called your enemy.”
Ross’ anguish had mostly subsided, and he explained, “You already knew some of this, S’leen, but your government knows the entire plan. I spent almost two years making trips to yours as well as other species’ home worlds, hammering out policies, working out details, learning some of what your people and other species could do, and what they were incapable of doing.” He suddenly grinned, adding, “And I still missed obvious things, things that were right in front of my nose.”
She pulled away and looked at him, puzzled. “What do you mean, ‘missed’?”
“Well, I knew that unlike the Earth rabbits we believe to be your ancestors, the H’kaah don’t mate indiscriminately. Your people have very strict social codes, and pre-marital sex is absolutely forbidden. That’s why I was sure you were a virgin, Dear. By Patrons rules you had to be unmarried, and your marriage customs are very close to ours; therefore you were most likely ‘untouched’, and I knew your aggressive sexuality the first day we met had to be an act. OW!” She had snarled, then bit him, and it wasn’t a love bite, either! “Damn it, S’leen, just because it’s true doesn’t mean it’s fair to take it out on me.”
Her snarl softened, then melted into contrition. “I’m sorry, Jack, but it’s just so—embarrassing.” He nuzzled her, stroking her hair and ears in a way that made her croon.
“The thing I missed was that I didn’t realize your males were so completely, biologically tied to estrus pheromones. While we human males are completely independent of them—we happily screw every chance we get—your males apparently can’t. Just before the party I learned that Maria Whitfield’s H’kaah companion had been totally impotent with her, and my source said that he’s not alone with this type of, um, ‘problem’. I had hoped to have a private talk with him about it during the evening, but as things worked out, well, our ‘talk’ started out on a more basic level.”
“I thought you were going to kill him, Jack,” she carefully ventured, “but—”
He laughed. “When I saw him giving you trouble I made and discarded at least five different action plans in the span of two seconds. What I wound up with is what we call a ‘work-in-progress’ since I was revising things on the fly. When I confronted him he snarled and immediately attacked me; that’s when I realized he was completely irrational. That forced me to first neutralize him as a threat, something the military taught me to do very well. Then I began using a little specialized psychological warfare, another ‘gift’ courtesy of my military training.” Ross grinned a predator’s toothy grin. “Once I had him in a position to listen I told him I would kill and eat him as punishment for his crime; his confused excuse for his behavior was that you were in estrus. Combine anxiety, fear, frustration and an overwhelming dose of enhanced hormones; it’s enough to make anybody lose his mind. Still, I kept up the pressure by first offering him two choices: Be killed and eaten, or be shipped home in disgrace; either way he knew he was doomed. Then I offered him a third choice, one that was really an ‘escape’; he could throw himself on your mercy and beg your forgiveness. Then I waited.”
“Jack, he poured his heart out to me; I could not refuse his apology.”
“Yeah,” Ross said, sighing, “that was pretty much what I expected would happen, but then he threw me a curve. The young fool offered himself up for seppuku!”
“What?”
“We Americans call it ‘hara-kiri’, but seppuku is the proper Japanese term for ‘self-murder’, to atone for an unbearable shame brought upon one’s self or family. That was another of the damned important things I’d missed! Except for not having a violent history your whole society is very much like our Japanese.” He missed a sudden look of panic in her eyes that was quickly repressed. “I had no idea how honor-bound your young males are,” he stated. “In this case L’niik had, due to his dishonorable attack on you followed by an equally dishonorable attempt to kill me, brought upon himself an intolerable shame. He felt the only honorable solution to his problem was for me to actually kill and eat him.”
Ross could feel his companion tense up in his arms, and he said, exasperated, “My god, S’leen, I could no more eat one of your people than I could one of mine, and despite all my sins I’m no cannibal! When I saw he’d reached the point of seppuku I knew he’d broken his pheromone and stress-related madness; unfortunately, by this time he was so engulfed by fear and shame he fainted when I cracked that dumb joke—and don’t you bite me again! After we got him revived I sent you and C’maat to get us something to drink; that gave us time for a nice long talk—about a lot of things.”
Ross’ gaze took on a distant look for a moment, then he added, “You know, he’s really a nice young man, er, male. That incident taught us both a few things that I think will help the whole project.”
Her panic under co
ntrol, she nuzzled Ross for a while, loving him even more for being so determinedly compassionate. “One thing I don’t understand, Jack,” she eventually said, “is why you called me into the house right after that, and—”
He interrupted her, laughing. “That’s all part of the puzzle’s solution, Dear. To help boost L’niik’s self-esteem I had to come up with some way for him to ‘perform’ when Maria wanted him. H’kaah estrus pheromones are the key, and they’re something that should be easily produced in a biolab and can be discreetly distributed to your males here on Earth. But last night we needed a quick fix, and I came up with something that I’m sure will work like a charm! I got one of my wife’s old makeup power puffs, then called you into the house and had you rub it over your scent glands, the one under your chin and the two on your inner thighs—remember?”
“How did you know about—?”
He was grinning, but this time it was a cheerful one. “Humans have them in the same basic places monkeys do, and while I can’t detect pheromones I knew your scent glands mirror those of your lapin ancestors. I was confident enough of your pheromone-rich scent would transfer to the puff to be effective, so after you did what I asked I sealed it in a Ziploc sandwich bag and gave it to L’niik. Maria likes her wine, and when she’s been drinking she tends to get horny. I felt sure she’d had enough wine at the party to be feeling plenty horny by the time she got home. I told L’niik to take the puff and, as part of their foreplay, caress her with it— everywhere he would expect to find the pheromones.”
S’leen looked at Ross with an expression of absolute shock. “But—that would mean he was…was—”
“Look, Dear,” he soothed, “if I find you a helluva lot more, um, ‘desirable’ than Maria Whitfield—and she’s one of my own kind—then imagine how poor L’niik feels. Giving him a little of your ‘help’, letting him trick his hormones long enough to make his portly patron happy—hey, we guys have to look out for each other!”
It took her a few minutes, but she eventually smiled, then laughed. “He really is a nice male, Jack. I’m glad you didn’t hurt him.”
“Yeah,” Ross said smugly, “but I told him that if he ever poked you other than in his fantasies I really would have to kill and eat him. S’leen, don’t you bite—YEOW!”
* * *
As promised, the caterer’s clean-up crew showed up mid-afternoon, and by six o’clock Ross and S’leen watched the trucks as they headed out the gate. Except for a few patches of trampled grass and some tire ruts in the lawn near the gate, the estate was little worse for the wear.
“The day’s almost over, S’leen, and you still haven’t tried out your car.” His voice sounded concerned as he asked, “Don’t you like it?”
She warmly nuzzled the side of his face, then ever-so gently nibbled his right ear. “I love it, Jack,” she cooed, then said, “but Saturday is the busiest traffic day of your week.” Before he could comment she added, “I am applying your firearms philosophy to this: Become familiar with it in a low-stress environment, and in an emergency you will handle it without hesitation. I’ll take my first drive in the car tomorrow morning, when I won’t have to worry so much about other people on the road.”
Ross blinked in surprise, then held her at arm’s length, a look of delight on his face. “Oh my,” he gently said. “You really have been paying attention. I’m so proud of you, S’leen, I…I really don’t know what to say.”
“Then let me say this, Jack,” and she leaned forward and took his head in her velvet-soft hands, and she kissed him, human-style.
When they came up for air Ross muttered, “Mmmm. I like the way you talk, Dear. Care to tell me more?”
* * *
Even though it was the weekend, Ross and S’leen decided a jog through the neighborhood would help work the kinks out of their abused bodies, so before darkness began settling in they hit the pavement.
“I managed to run almost every evening at the school,” she told him as they began the first leg of their neighborhood loop. “The property was fenced and patrolled, but Mr. Brenner insisted that a guard accompany me while I ran.”
Ross smiled as he settled into a steady rhythm with his companion. “Did you have an athletic studmuffin as a jogging partner? I know he has a few on the staff.”
“He actually had two guards accompany me,” she said, matching her stride with his. “The man was older than you and had a big stomach, and his partner was a large-hipped, strong-featured woman I think you would describe as ‘butt ugly’.”
He was amazed, saying, “And they managed to keep up with you?”
“They had no trouble,” she replied, smiling. “They rode in an electric golf cart, and to be polite I stayed on the paved roads that wound through the property.”
“You’re a far nicer person than I am, S’leen,” he said, laughing. “I’d have led them on a cross-country run just to hear them complain.”
They said nothing else for some time as they pounded through the old neighborhood, often surprising homeowners who were startled to see Ross and S’leen running in the early evening, and on a Saturday, too. Unrestrained, aggressive dogs and inattentive drivers worried Ross any time the duo made their circuit, but to date Ross had only been forced to use his tiny pepper spray canister on one obnoxious dog, and the traffic had not been a problem.
While still some distance from home S’leen ventured, “Are you jealous of L’niik, Jack?” He stumbled, then barked a slightly forced-sounding laugh before replying, “What brought that on, Dear?”
They plodded on for a few moments before S’leen said, “After the incident you were careful to keep him under observation whenever he was near me, but neither C’maat, F’haan nor D’loon, the other H’kaah females present, rated such attention when he was near them.”
This time his laugh wasn’t forced as he explained, “None of the other females happened to be in estrus, Dear, so I knew their ‘virtue’ was safe with him. You, on the other hand, made him very nervous whenever you were standing upwind from him, and being the only male H’kaah at the party made him easy to keep track of.”
“How do you know they weren’t in estrus, Jack? You’ve already stated that your system cannot detect H’kaah female pheromones.”
“Nope, your scent is the same to me, regardless, but not to L’niik. He told me you were the only one who was ‘in season’.” Ross grinned. “He also explained more of why your people are so strict about pre-marital sex.” Now it was her turn to stumble a step or two, but she recovered without saying anything, so he continued. “I found out that while male H’kaah aren’t interested in mating with females unless they’re in estrus, when it does happen it almost always results in a pregnancy. And since your people never developed any form of birth control other than abstinence, and your religious codes absolutely forbid abortions, your social rules have to be strict to the point of inflexibility. Anything else and you’d breed yourselves out of room to grow food.”
“Do our sexual practices shock you, Jack?” she asked after a lengthy pause.
He laughed wryly, saying, “I guess it shocks me more that you’ve made the system work so well, and for so long.” He shook his head, adding, “Such a system wouldn’t work with us humans, though, but probably not because of what you’re thinking.” When she didn’t offer a comment he stated, “It’s not that we’re terminally horny, even though we are.” He started to grin, but his mood suddenly took a dark shift. “Humans practice numerous religions, and some of those absolutely DEMAND that their followers produce as many children as possible, with no regard as to available food. If the population outstrips the resources, something that happens on a regular basis, they just shrug their shoulders and say ‘God will provide!’ Inevitably, when their particular god doesn’t come forth with a miracle hundreds, even thousands of children die of starvation.” S’leen looked at Ross in horror and saw that his face had become an open mask of rage. “That’s right, Dear. Children DIE on this world every day, all
because of mindless religious ideology. And what REALLY grates is when their economic infrastructure fails, as it often does in third-world countries, they simply shrug their shoulders and say ‘It is God’s will!’”
She was so upset she stumbled again and tried to get Ross to stop running, but he snarled, “Keep moving, S’leen, because if I stop while I’m this upset I’ll have to go find some particular people I know living nearby, and my society frowns on what I’d probably do to them.” When she tried to ask him whom he was talking about he only replied, “You don’t really want to know.”
They finished their run without further talk, but once they returned home they took another long, relaxing shower together. After a light supper the two curled up on the oversized living room couch, relaxing, talking about a variety of things and simply enjoying each other’s company.
Rabbits, like cats, are infinitely curious, and S’leen was close enough to a rabbit to share that innate curiosity. “Do you like C’maat, Jack?” she asked after about an hour of innocuous conversation. “I saw the two of you talking on several occasions last night, and she told me how you arranged for your dark-skinned friend to have a private meeting with her at Patrons. They signed a contract and she left with him that same day, but she still speaks very highly of you.”
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