by Lexi Post
His stomached tightened into a lump of rock. His crimes once again slapping him in the face.
“Oh.” Now she seemed truly afraid. “Please don’t tell me you were a monk or priest or something like that.”
He lowered his brow in confusion and shook his head. How could she think religious men worse than murderers? “I wish I had been a man of religion, but my lack of experience stems from my body and my geography.” And my immortality.
“But you travelled all over and your body is hot.” She looked askance at him. “If you’re so inexperienced, how did you know what to do? I can’t see Timber explaining it all to you.”
He didn’t answer, hurt that she obviously thought he lied. That was one crime he’d never committed. Rising, he set the plate down again and strode to the bookcase. Pulling out the book he had reread again just the other night, he brought it to the bed and held it up.
“How to Make Love to a Woman by Dr. Lindsey Sterns.” She looked at him then back at the book. “Oh.”
He placed the book on the end table next to the bed before resuming his seat and gathering a forkful of the now cool food. “Are you ready to eat now or would you like me to warm it in the pan again?”
She appeared distracted, but she nodded and opened her mouth.
He didn’t hesitate, anxious to feed her and himself on the chance that she was still interested in intercourse afterward.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Angela lay in the darkness wide awake after her long nap before dinner, even despite another very satisfying session of sex with Sas. His breathing as he slept on the couch was reassuring as it gave her alone time that until now she hadn’t wanted.
Having sex with Sas had been incredible and giving him oral sex had her feeling proud of herself for finding another way she could repay him even without the use of her hands. But after he dropped the bombshell about being a virgin, her heart started to wrestle with her brain.
No one ever forgot their first lover, and she was no exception. She’d had an emotional bond with the boy she’d slept with back in high school. They dated most of her senior year, and she thought she was in love.
She didn’t doubt he thought so, too. When he dumped her, she’d cried so much she made herself sick. Her father didn’t get it, but he didn’t make her go to school the rest of the week. It was all teenage drama, but the feelings had been real.
Knowing Sas was a virgin their first time together meant she needed to figure out what she wanted from the relationship because the last thing she wanted to do was hurt the very man who had saved her life. She owed him so much.
Her problem was that she’d viewed sex with him from a purely selfish standpoint, much like when she traveled and had sex with a local if she hit it off with anyone. Luckily, as far as she knew, she didn’t have any diseases to pass on to Sas, and if she counted her days correctly since last taking her pill, she wouldn’t become pregnant at this time of the month.
She also viewed having sex with him as another way to thank him. But now, whether he admitted it or not, there were emotions involved. She just had to figure out how she felt.
If they continued strictly as sex partners, she’d need to make that clear. But if there was more to it…ugh, she couldn’t seem to separate her feelings of gratefulness from her feelings for him as a man. And even if she felt more for him than a simple fling, there were long-term issues to contend with. It wasn’t as if Sas lived anywhere near her. Shoot, he didn’t live near civilization of any kind.
When was she supposed to have a relationship with him? In between business trips? That meant she should keep it to just sex, but she’d be kidding herself and lying to him if she told him that. She was way beyond the “just sex” relationship. She really, really liked him.
With her other two serious relationships, she’d decided to just see where they went, take it one day at a time, but that wasn’t possible here, and Sas wasn’t like any other man she’d ever been with.
First, he was by far the kindest and most considerate. Second, he was also the biggest and most muscular. Her serious relationships had been with more “intelligent” types, yet Sas was very smart and well-traveled.
That he lived deep in the Alaskan wilderness was another unique trait. There was something about a man who could take care of himself and live a fulfilling life on his own that really attracted her. Maybe it was a little caveman-like, but it spoke to that small part of her that loved the idea she would be, and was, taken care of if she couldn’t do it herself.
Her heart sighed. It would be so easy to fall in love with him. She could see herself learning to cook the different game so it tasted wonderful, like the elk they had for dinner. Though she wasn’t particularly domestic since she wasn’t home a lot, when she was home she enjoyed cooking and lounging in her apartment. She may work hard and travel all over, but she’d perfected the art of relaxing.
The problem was Sas’ chosen abode. Here they were isolated. For any type of relationship with him, she’d have to give up seeing the world, unless he came with her. She immediately squashed that fantasy. Sas was out here for a reason. Maybe the answer to her dilemma was to find out what that reason was.
Who was she kidding? It didn’t matter if he was running from the law or just liked pitting himself against nature, she was falling for him. Shoot. How did that happen?
She licked her suddenly dry lips. What if he changed once she was able to help herself? Would he resent it or would he welcome it? And how would she feel when it was time to return home?
Her chest tightened so hard, she could barely breathe. The thought of not ever seeing him again told her more about her feelings than anything else.
But what a relationship with Sas would look like was a complete blank, even though leaving him almost brought her to tears.
She needed to know what he felt and getting that out of him would be a challenge. He may not look at his first time in the same way she did. He was born in Germany and lived a European lifestyle before making his home in the far reaches of the north, so she had no idea if he looked at his experience like she did as an American.
Feeling more confused than ever, she closed her eyes. For the first time since landing in her predicament, she wished she could talk with her brother. Though he was younger and turned over-protective sometimes, they were close. Losing their mom at an early age had done that for them.
How much longer before he began to wonder where she was? She’d been with Sas for over a week already. Was it now two weeks? Did she only have two more weeks with him? She wanted much more. She could take sick days. After all, she did have frostbite on her hands…if they even healed.
Her dinner lay heavy in her belly as her stomach tightened with worry. She had to have faith in Sas. If anyone could save her hands, it was him.
She listened to the sound of his breathing, blocking out all her thoughts. The knowledge that he was near made her feel safe. The only way she’d feel safer was if he were sleeping in the bed next to her.
Envisioning him next to her, cuddling, she finally drifted to sleep.
Sas kissed her awake, and she opened her eyes to stare into brown irises so dark they looked black. She grinned. “Good morning.”
He kissed her nose before throwing back the covers. “Good morning. We have much to do today.” He rose bare-ass naked and set water to boiling on the stove. In no time, he dressed and headed outside. “I’ll be in for breakfast.”
She swung her feet over the edge of the bed, shivering in the coolness of the cabin. “I’m going to need more wood if you want breakfast.” She winked. “And I’m not talking about your cock.”
He let his gaze rake over her naked body, heating her up quite well. “I can do both.”
She laughed as he closed the door. After quickly dressing in her favorite jeans and sweater, she strode to the stove and threw the last logs into it. Pulling the now boiling water off, she poured it through the coffee strainer, the scent filling her nostrils and
making her mouth water.
Within seconds, she poured two cups of coffee and took a sip of hers. It was as if she hadn’t had any in months. Once her taste buds were satisfied, she quickly sliced the bread she made yesterday and buttered the pan, setting it to heat on the stove. She pulled out the salmon they’d caught a couple of days ago and the neighbor’s homemade cheese.
While she waited for the pan to heat, she started to whip up a hollandaise sauce.
The door opened and Sas came in with an armful of split wood. He didn’t say anything as he dropped it and strode back outside.
She shook her head. He was just too talkative. Filling the stove with more wood, she worked on breakfast.
A shout outside had her running to the door. Throwing it open she froze. Her brother, surrounded by a pack of snarling wolves, aimed a handgun at Sas. Sas held his arms to the side as if inviting the shot.
She ran onto the porch. “No!”
One of the wolves looked straight at her and howled.
The gun went off.
She jerked awake. It was pitch black and her heart pounded in her chest. She moved her hand to hold it, but as she made contact pain shot up her arm. She gave a small cry before the howl of a wolf sounded just outside the cabin.
Her breathing calmed as the sound connected to her dream, explaining where part of it came from. She listened for Sas’ breathing but it was missing. She closed her eyes again and tried to hear him, but she didn’t sense him in the cabin. “Sas?”
When there was no answer, her fear returned. What if he was hurt? Maybe the howl was because the pack had taken him down. She had to know.
Sitting up, she swung her feet over the side of the bed and carefully put her weight on them. They didn’t hurt, but her knees felt wobbly. She braced her forearm on the back of the chair next to the bed and took a step.
Yes, definitely wobbly, but her concern for Sas drove her on. Taking another step brought her close enough to the table to brace her other arm on that as she gave up the chair. Her eyes were slowly adjusting to the diffused light from the moon hitting the snow outside, and the expanse of space from the table to the door was intimidating.
She looked out the window from where she stood, but she couldn’t see either Sas or the wolf. Slowly, she made her way around the table until the void between it and the door loomed before her.
Another howl broke the quiet of the night. It sounded as if it was on the kitchen side of the cabin. She listened for footsteps, breathing, anything to indicate that Sas was nearby, but only silence greeted her.
What if he were bleeding to death? What if even now the wolfpack had him surrounded as he lay on the ground hurt and in pain?
And what the hell could she do about it? She froze as she’d been about to let go of the table. What would she do? She couldn’t even throw anything at them with her hands as they were.
Frustrated, she cast about for an answer.
She could scream and stomp and scare them away. She could do that. Refusing to think about what she might have to do next, she took a step toward the door, holding both arms out for balance.
After five more steps, she took an extra-large one and fell against the wall next to the door. She did it!
Another howl split the air and this one sounded as if it was right outside the front door. She shuffled over to the window to look.
There it was. A lone wolf. Didn’t they travel in packs? Was it hurt? Why was it just sitting there? She scanned the area for Sas, but there was no sign of him. Did that mean the wolf was calling the rest of its pack to attack Sas? Why hadn’t she read up on wolves when she prepared for her trip instead of researching polar bears, seals and penguins?
Looking back at the door, she slowly slid toward it until it was within reach, except she couldn’t open it with her hand. She tried pushing the latch up with her elbow, but it wouldn’t budge. Shoot.
Seeing no other way, she bent her knees to get her shoulder under it, but they gave out beneath her and she slid to the floor. This was not good. She would have to shuffle over to the window so she could use the sill to prop her arms on it to pull herself up.
But if Sas was in trouble then she had to do it. With determination filling her gut, she started to move her ass along the wall. She’d just cleared the door when footsteps sounded on the steps.
Sas!
The door opened and he strode in. As soon as he closed the door, he stilled. “Angel?”
“I’m okay, I was just looking for you.” She gave him a meek smile, but since it was dark, he probably couldn’t tell.
He crouched next to her. “What happened?”
She raised one shoulder to her ear. “I heard the wolf and thought you might be hurt.”
He brushed his finger across her cheek. “You feared for me?”
“Of course I did. I was worried. It’s the middle of the night and you weren’t here and there’s a wolf howling out—Hey, how’d you get past the wolf? Didn’t he attack you?”
“I’m too big for Granddad. He was more concerned with warning the other wolf from encroaching on his territory. Let me return you to bed.”
She nodded, but he was already moving one arm under her knees and another behind her back. She looped one arm around his neck as he lifted her up. Now that was a squat deadlift if she’d ever seen one. “Is that the name you gave the wolf?”
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he placed her in the bed and pulled the quilt over her. “Yes.”
She grinned. She’d asked for that one-word answer. “Why did you name him that?”
He sat in the chair next to the bed. “Because he’s a grey wolf and grey is the color of wisdom and wisdom comes with age. I don’t know how old he is, but he’s been in this area for a few years.”
“I like that. I like that everyone here has names with stories behind them. How come you call me Angel?” Not that she was complaining. It was so close to her real name he may have looked at her license, but if he didn’t, she wanted to know her own story.
“I decline to answer.”
She stared at him even though he didn’t meet her gaze. Why would he decline to answer about the very nickname he’d given her?
He stood. “You need to sleep now.”
“Wait. Where did you go? Why weren’t you sleeping?”
He didn’t sigh, per se, but there was a relaxing of his shoulders as if he’d given up. “I had to relieve myself.”
“Oh.” She should have thought of that. Didn’t she look like an idiot now? Though to be fair, she may have thought of that if it wasn’t for the wolf howling right outside.
And the disturbing dream she had. What did it mean?
~~*~~
He finished field-dressing the deer he shot and packed it into his tarp. He’d been lucky to find one so close to the cabin. Ever since he found Angel, his life had changed for the better, even his hunting.
Her insistence on moving about the cabin to exercise had at first alarmed him, but as her strength returned, he felt better about leaving her alone for a few hours at a time the last couple of days as he supplemented his winter store of food.
She wanted to come outside, but it was too dangerous as her hands still had some concerning pockets of tissue that he couldn’t be sure would drop off. Any cold exposure would worsen the condition. However, he understood her need to breathe fresh air. Tonight, he would work on a fur hand-wrap, so she could come outside for brief periods.
Tying up the deer meat, he slung it over his shoulder and headed back toward the cabin. The fresh snowfall had made it easy to track the buck and with only a few inches of powder on the ground, the path wasn’t hard to follow.
He found his pace picking up as he drew closer. It was almost time for the midday meal, and he looked forward to their time together afterward. They’d replaced reading in the afternoons with intercourse, now his favorite time of the day. Angel’s body was an addiction that he catered to whole-heartedly.
He shook his head
as he strode up the incline to the ledge where his cabin sat. He never expected to have the experience of mating. Now that he had, he wanted it as much as possible. He didn’t understand why she would want to have such intimate relations with him except that she didn’t know all there was to know.
His step slowed as the cabin came into view.
He hadn’t told her about his crimes. If she knew of them, she would turn away, maybe even runaway despite her condition. That he was immortal was of little concern. She would leave him long before that issue raised its torturous head.
He came to a stop, staring at the cabin, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat. He couldn’t imagine his life without Angel. No one had given him so much, her kindness, her caring, her body. She’d never know how much she’d meant to him.
Every night she asked him to sleep with her, but he claimed that he feared hurting her hands inadvertently, which was true, but his bigger concern was becoming used to her sleeping at his side. He had no hope that she would stay past the winter, and if she asked to leave, he had no choice but to help her. It was all part of what he hoped would bring him peace. He had to keep that enticement before him. Peace.
He started for the cabin, anxious to see her. He’d been gone almost two hours and he wanted to enjoy every second with Angel that he could. Quickly, he hung up the meat. He’d take care of it later, after she rested. Already, his body was anxious to feel her against him again.
The sound of a twig snapping halted his step. He looked to the west where the sound came from. Within seconds, the sound of boots in the new snow floated through the quiet landscape like a shot among the bird sounds to his sense of hearing. Disappointment sent irritation burning through his gut. Whoever it was, wasn’t welcome.
He waited. If he could, he’d keep them from coming inside, despite the hospitality requirement of the bush.
As Timber’s silhouette came into view, he sighed. Timber was the one person he couldn’t push aside. The man brought medicine for Angel and a shirt for himself and who knew what else as the man loved to “bargain” as he stated it. Timber would stay the night to rest before trudging home.