I waited for her to call me out on it, but she was too distracted by her forgetting spell again.
“It’s getting worse,” she whispered, sounding as lost as she’d been the first time we met. “What happens if I can’t come back?”
“Don’t say that,” I said sternly, “don’t even think it. You will always come back.”
“Tristan—”
“No, we’re not having this conversation, again.”
“Yes, we are because we need to! What happens if I freak out worse? What if I hurt you, or someone else? We need to talk to Greyson and the other sorcerers. Maybe …” She trailed off, but I saw the idea in her eyes and tore my hand free.
“No! You belong here, and you are going to remain here.”
“You’re just angry because if I’m not here, you can’t order me not to try and prevent the horrible outcomes I see in my visions!”
I refused to answer, screwing my mouth to the side as I fought back the urge to order her right now not to talk to the sorcerers or anyone else who might take her from me. If she was with them, they would listen to her visions, and they would gladly go off with her without a care for what might happen.
“I get these visions for a reason,” she went on. “And they’re not going to stop.”
“How do you know?” I muttered, and she reached for my hand, but stopped short and let hers fall back to her side.
“Because there’s too much darkness in the world right now.”
“Darkness that is clearly sapping your light which is why I ask you time and again to stay here!”
“You don’t ask! You command me like I’m one of your damned guards!” she yelled and shoved passed me, aiming for the door.
“Where are you going? We’re not finished!”
“Yes, we are!”
“Red, get back here!” but she yanked open the door, stepped out into the corridor, and slammed it shut behind her. “Red!” I yelled, but she didn’t come back in. I spent a few moments snarling at the empty room before I went back to my rooms in an attempt to cool off.
Boris waited for me there, and his worried frown told me he heard everything. Hard not to when this entire castle was filled with shifters, and we’d been yelling. I was sure everyone just heard our argument, just like every other yelling match we got in lately.
“Well, that sounded fun,” Craig said, and I turned to see him by the door. “Problems?”
“Always.” The wolf in me wanted to howl in aggravation while the human part said to go after her until we could figure out how to make this work. I did neither. “She’s getting worse.” The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I ran a hand over my tired face. “And she doesn’t listen to me, at all! Why? Why does she have to turn everything into a fight?”
Craig failed to hide his smirk. “Welcome to my world,” he muttered. “Kate’s just as bad.”
“Yes, but to be fair, Kate’s not slowly losing her mind.” I hadn’t told Sabella about who’s voice had come through while she’d been out of it, but there wasn’t a chance I would keep it from them.
“Has it gotten that bad?” Craig asked.
“Yes. Every time now, she doesn’t remember who she is, who I am. What happens if she never comes back to herself? What then?” I said, my voice growing louder in my anger and aggravation and now knowing what to do. “And, if I wasn’t afraid of enough already, I spoke with Baladon tonight.”
Boris choked on his mug of ale as he stared at me in shock. “What? When?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a headache coming on. “Sabella, I thought she was falling into a vision, but she opened her mouth and… and his voice came out instead.”
Craig let out a string of curses as I plopped into the nearest chair. “Did she say if she saw anything helpful? Like where he is, so we can just kill him and be done with it?”
“He’s a god. You can’t just kill a god,” I snapped.
“Never know until you try.”
I shot him a glare as I added, “Sabella didn’t remember hearing his voice. Or if she saw anything.”
Craig straightened and shook his head. “Seriously? You didn’t even tell her, did you.”
“Would you have if it was Kate?” I challenged.
“She needs to know! What if it happens again, or who’s to say he’s not using her to spy on us just like he used that statue?”
“What are you saying?” I jumped to my feet and stalked toward him until we were barely a foot apart. “You want me to what, lock her away in a cell? Put up a magical cage around her to keep her trapped? What, Craig, please tell me what you want to do to make her life more miserable than it already is because of those damned visions!”
My words bounced off the stone walls, and I mentally wanted to smack myself for yelling. Aside from Kate and Sabella, those here would’ve heard everything. I growled furiously, but then Boris was there, gently pushing us apart.
“Take a breather, both of you,” he said sternly, and I backed off as Craig did the same, letting him get away for ordering me around for once.
Sabella’s concerns of being a danger to herself or others came back to me, but I refused to think she would ever accidentally harm me or the pack who accepted her, finally, with open arms. Or at least most of them. A few, Danielle included, seemed to be a bit more resistant, though they did not let it interfere with their duties of keeping her safe. For the most part, though, she was their beta. If Baladon tried to use her to harm us, she would know, and she would stop him.
“Perhaps this is a discussion best saved for the morning after a good night’s sleep and a hot breakfast,” Boris suggested. “And then we can speak with Kate and the others who should know. Including Sabella.”
“No.”
“Tristan,” Craig started, but I raised my hand. “Fine, if you want to be an idiot and keep things from her then that’s on you. I’ll see you in the morning.” He stomped out of the room and for the second time that night, I had a door slammed on me.
“He’s right you know,” Boris said lightly. “She should know.”
“I think you should get some sleep, too,” I snapped. “We’ve all had a long day.”
It was a command from the alpha, and he knew it. “Very well, my King. If there is anything else you’ll be needing—”
“That will be all, thank you.”
He nodded, and carrying his mug of ale, left me to brood alone. After stoking a fire in the hearth, I dragged over the furs and collapsed to the floor, staring into the flames as they crackled and popped. I waited for an answer to present itself to all my problems, but my headache only grew worse, and my fear of losing Sabella made me sick to my stomach.
The hours ticked by into the night and sheer exhaustion had my eyes closing. I breathed in deep and caught a whiff of lilac a second before the door to the short corridor opened slowly. I remained where I was, propped up by the pillows I’d dragged off my bed. A shadow fell over me, and all I did was lift the furs for Sabella to sink down beside me and curl against my side. I kissed the top of her head and pulled her in close.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, but I was already shaking my head.
“This life is new to you,” I said gently. “I get that it’s not going to be so easy for you most days.”
“Any day,” she corrected grumpily, and I chuckled.
“I know you’re not a shifter, but you are the most important person in this world to me, and I do what I do to keep you safe.”
“Just as I do what I do to keep you alive,” she insisted. “Tristan?”
“Red?” I glanced over to see her staring up at me, those eyes filled with worry and doubts. “What’s wrong?”
But then she smiled and leaned up enough to kiss me sweetly. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
A few moments later, she was sound asleep, and I settled in more to the furs, holding her close. If only this was how our lives would be every night, then I could guarantee her safety and our happ
iness. But the darkness crept in closer every day and sooner or later, it would snuff out the light within her.
Chapter 3
Tristan
I jerked awake, staring at the dying embers of the fire in the hearth. Sabella’s body was still curled up against my side beneath the furs, and I laid my head back, wrapping my arm more securely around her as I tried to shake the last remnants of the nightmare. She’d been on that cliff, and those spiders were eating her alive. I shuddered, knowing how close it had been to that vision coming true. I glanced toward the window, but darkness reigned. There was no real way to tell when it was night or day except to trust my body when it said it was time to get up.
I sensed it was early morning, too early to function, so I closed my eyes and attempted to get a few hours more sleep. The furs were tucked in around us, and I sank into their warmth.
“Bad dream?” Sabella whispered.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” I said as she shifted in my arms to see my face. “Go back to sleep.”
“What did you see?” she asked.
“Nothing that needs to be shared, trust me,” I grumbled. “Sleep.”
“There you go, giving me orders again,” she mumbled even as she yawned and settled her head against my shoulder and her arm snaked around my waist. “Stubborn furball.”
I smoothed my fingers through her hair, nodding in agreement. “You’ll have to get used to it.”
“And if I don’t?”
My fingers stilled for a second before I forced them to keep moving. “There’s no reason to question this, Sabella, promise. Relationships are hard, and ours started in the midst of a war. I think we’re allowed to have some issues.”
I sensed her agitation, but then she settled back down and said nothing more. When I checked, her eyes were closed, and I felt her steady breathing. She’d fallen back asleep. Good. I was terrible at lying to her, and both of us didn’t need to be worried about our future together. I stared at the dark red embers for a long while before I finally drifted back to sleep. It might’ve only been an hour or so before there was a loud knock at my door, startling us both awake.
“Sire? Breakfast is being served in the hall,” Hank called out.
“Thank you, Hank!” I yawned and stretched, shaking out my hair as Sabella laughed.
“Some days you’re more wolf than man,” she informed me as she got to her feet and reached her hands up to the ceiling, standing on her toes like she always did first thing in the morning. I admired the view as she smirked and sauntered toward the adjoining hall.
“Where are you going?”
“Freshening up, don’t worry, I’ll see you down there.”
I caught her hand right before she disappeared through the door and kissed her softly. She leaned into my embrace, and I wove my fingers up through her long locks before we reluctantly parted, and I let her go to her rooms to get ready for another day. How could she make me so mad one day and then want nothing more than to hold her the next? I’d have to ask Craig how he managed it when we were all together again.
I dressed in fresh clothes, tugged on my boots, and found my way downstairs. The hall was filled with my guests as well as the other occupants of the castle. They started to get up to bow when they saw me, but I waved them all back down.
“Too early for formalities. Who’s got the coffee? And steak, steak would be fantastic this morning.”
Boris shoved a plate toward me as I sat down, and I thanked the servant who poured me a large mug of steaming coffee. “Your Highness,” he muttered with a smirk.
I shot him a look before I dug into my food, eating half the steak in a few large bites.
“Should I ask why you’re so ravenous this morning?” Kate asked across the table with a mischievous smile on her face. Craig grunted and held his head in his hand. “What? I’m just curious.”
“Curious about what?” I asked.
“Nothing, it’s nothing,” Craig insisted loudly and nudged Kate. “That is not breakfast conversation.”
“I’m just curious! Can’t a girl be curious? Just thinking of Sabella after all.”
I stared from one to the other as they continued to banter before it hit me, and I dropped my fork, feeling my body grow hot. I choked down my mouthful of food and chugged my coffee, making it worse when the scalding liquid burned my throat all the way down. Kate and Craig watched, the first grinning widely, but I shook my head, and her smile fell.
“Can we not talk about this right now?” I growled in warning.
She sighed heavily but held up her hands. “Fine, be a party pooper.”
Craig mouthed an apology, but Kate punched him in the shoulder. “What?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me asking.”
“Yes, there is,” we snapped at the same time, and she burst out laughing.
“Wow, boys.”
“What about boys?” Sabella asked from behind me, and I stilled. “Did I miss something?”
Kate was nodding as Craig and I shook our heads. She sat beside me and reached for a mug and poured her own coffee. She had not gotten used to having people do anything for her, and she told me she doubted she ever would. She spooned sugar into the dark liquid, her and Kate having a wordless conversation with their eyes and smirks that I did not like.
Kate finally shrugged, rolling her eyes in disappointment and Sabella bobbed her head, sipping her coffee.
“What are you two talking about?” I demanded.
“Huh? Who said we were talking about anything?” I heard the annoyance in her words though and pushed my plate away, not hungry anymore.
Since the darkness fell, there’d been little time, admittedly, for Sabella and I to talk much about our relationship and where it was headed. Or how we wanted to proceed with it. This was new territory for both of us, and I assumed she wanted to take things slow. She was the one constantly reminding me that there was a chance she could still go back to being the crazy girl from Maine if she wasn’t careful. How was I supposed to take that except as a proceed with extreme caution in anything we did?
But now, watching her and Kate continue their silent conversation, I started to wonder if we weren’t going so slow because I was more hesitant than she was. Sabella was all fire and determination on the inside, but she was fragile in my mind. How many times had I picked her up off the ground after a vision? Or had to rush in to save her life? Watched her bleeding and screaming in pain?
I stabbed my fork into my steak, and everyone at the table turned to stare at me. “Sorry.”
“You sure you’re alright?” Sabella asked quietly.
“Yes, I’m fine. We should finish eating so we can discuss our next move,” I instructed. Picking up my coffee, I excused myself from the table and went to wait for the others in the council chamber.
“Think I’ll join you,” Craig announced and together, we left the hall. Once we were out of earshot of everyone else, he leaned in. “Sorry for Kate.”
“No, it’s fine. I guess at some point it’s going to happen.”
“She said she’s worried about you two is all. Thinks… moving forward,” he said, struggling to get the words out, “would go a long way to getting you both passed this wall going up between you two.”
“There’s no wall,” I muttered, but Craig cringed. “Is that what everyone thinks?”
“You two have been arguing nearly every day.”
I growled the rest of the way to the council chamber. Unable to sit down, I walked slowly around the room, shaking my head. “I just want her to listen to me, just once.”
“She’s not a shifter, remember?”
“Oh, I remember. She makes it clear to me every damned day.”
“Then perhaps it’s you who needs to change,” he suggested.
I glowered at him, not about to admit the thought crossed my mind. But what was I supposed to do? She was my beta, part of the pack now, and the pack was stronger together. One weak link, one person, acting recklessly, p
ut all the others at risk. Somehow, I had to make Sabella see that.
“You going to tell her today?” Craig asked. “About the voice?”
“I am, and she’s not going to be happy.”
“You thought she would be? You should’ve told her last night,” but he said quickly when I bared my teeth, “I understand why you waited.”
“She won’t.”
As soon as I told Sabella what really happened last night, she was going to be pissed. If I’d told her last night, it would’ve led to an argument, too so either way I was screwed. I fell deeper into my thoughts, and eventually found myself musing over what Kate and Sabella had been silently discussing. Did I want to? That wasn’t even a question, but I was stopped by my worry for what could go wrong. What if she had a vision and woke up like that next to me, in bed with a man she didn’t recognize? What if didn’t come back to herself?
What if this wasn’t going to work out the way I hoped?
I hated the uncertainty of my day to day life now, but then the doors opened, and Kate and Sabella walked in followed by Boris, Hank, Greyson, Lucy, and a few other shifter commanders. The other pack leaders were busy protecting their lands, and instead of constantly calling them to me, I sent out messengers whenever there was an event that happened, or a new addition to our plan that was yet to be an actually formulated plan. Those here found their seats at the table and waited for me to join them before everyone sat down.
“Before we decide where our next move is going to take place,” I said slowly, avoiding Sabella’s gaze, “there’s another matter we need to talk about.”
“And that is?” Kate asked.
I finally lifted my gaze to Sabella’s, trying to tell her I was sorry with my eyes as the words came out of my mouth. “Last night when you thought you had a vision, it was something worse. Baladon, he spoke through you to me.”
A hush fell over the room, but it was the way Sabella’s eyes widened in panic then narrowed in anger that had my chest squeezing like it was trapped in a vice. Each breath was more painful than the last as her jaw clenched and her hands gripped the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white.
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