“I’m sorry you thought that.”
“Why did you refuse to see me when I came here ten years ago?”
“It was complicated.”
“A million scenarios passed through my mind.”
“Diane, Liora’s mother, has very fragile health. I couldn’t tell her such news then. It would have killed her.”
“Diane is not my mother?”
“No.”
“I see.”
I try to put my thoughts in order. Who is my real mother, and why didn’t she keep me?
“She died in a car accident,” explains my father. “She was eight months pregnant. You’re lucky they got you out in time to save you.”
“You call that lucky? Why didn’t you want to keep me?”
“I was married to Diana, do you understand? I would have lost everything.”
I nod, clinging to the gram of respect I may still have for this man. If I understand correctly, he was married to a sick woman, had an affair with my mother, and then what? What happened then? Who was my mother to him?
“And me in all this?”
“I’ve never lost track of you.”
“Really? So where were you when I needed help? When I was hungry? When I was going from one foster home to another?”
“I did my best. I supported organizations…”
“But you didn’t support me! I’m your daughter! Do you honestly think I received anything from these organizations? No! I’ve been alone my whole life. I only had my brother to watch over me, and never the love of a mother or a father. You can try to give yourself a good conscience with your charity dinners as much as you want, but nothing will ever change that!”
“Calm down, please.”
I take a deep breath and I let him explain himself, trying my best not to get carried away.
“You wouldn’t have had the love of a mother if you lived with us. I need you to understand that Diana and Liora would have never accepted you as one of us.”
This is not the impression Liora gave me. I got the impression she was happy to have a sister? Basically, he’s just using them to justify his actions and is convinced that this is not his fault.
“What suddenly changed?”
He takes a deep breath and I feel the exasperation in his sigh.
“You.”
“Me?”
“That cruise brought you a lot of publicity,” he says.
“And that’s all that matters to you? Publicity?”
“No, not this kind of publicity. And it’s why I invited you here tonight.”
He starts using a professional tone, as if he was preparing to negotiate a business contract. In reality, he hadn’t planned on inviting me tonight; he felt compelled to.
“Everyone is looking for this mysterious woman who accompanied Mr. Walker during his trip. The ‘Cinderella of Jersey City’ is what they’re calling you. It’s only a matter of time before they find you and then link it back to me.”
“So you only wanted to avoid a scandal? You didn’t want to see me?”
His hesitation speaks volumes. I don’t know if it’s the fact that he doesn’t want to see me that hurts the most, or that he thinks he can use me to save his reputation. I feel my heart break into a million pieces.
“How were you planning to announce this to your guests?”
After all, he can’t bring me out of nowhere like a newborn. I’m twenty-four years old. How does he intend to explain where I have been all these years?
“You lived with your mother in Canada throughout your childhood. She died last year and it made you want to find out who your real father was. I was never aware of your existence. If you stick to this version, we all win. You won’t be an orphan anymore. You’ll have money, and fame”
“But no family.”
“I don’t know anything about you. How can you expect me to tell you that I love you and that I care about you?”
How can he lack so much compassion? Nothing more needs to be said. He was very clear. I’m nothing to him and that’s it. Richard stands on his feet and runs a hand through his hair.
“I don’t want money or fame, and I don’t want a family like yours!”
“You don’t have a choice.”
“Excuse me?”
“You need money, I know it. And when your picture makes its way to the cover of magazines, believe me, you will need protection. He’s looking for you, you know.”
“What? You know?”
“I know everything. For now, he doesn’t know what identity you’re hiding under. But you haven’t changed in ten years, and he will recognize you.”
I’m unable to utter a single word. In fact, I think I’m going to be sick. This hurts so much, it’s horrible! Everything spins around me. I don’t even know where I am anymore. Can I really accept this deal and live a lie, only for a few dollars? If Bill finds out were I am, I will need protection. I can’t ask Ethan to sacrifice everything again. I will never forgive myself the time he spent in prison for wanting to fight Bill. And if it happened all over again?
“Don’t think Mr. Walker will help you,” he says when I hesitate. “You are nothing more than a one-night stand to him. He prefers blondes, actually, and he has also showed interest in my daughter, Liora.”
“What?”
I don’t believe it! No! Not the Liam I met on the cruise. He would prefer me to a hundred woman like her. I can’t imagine this is true, especially after the look he had earlier; the feelings that showed through his eyes.
“Aleska…”
“Carly!”
“Carly, sorry. I’m just trying make the best out of a very bad situation. You won’t have to ever worry about money. You’ll have access to a higher education and you won’t have to fear your past anymore or hide. And if you want, your brother can have the same privileges.”
Now his tone shifts to that of a parent, as if he was trying to make me understand he’s doing it for my own good, but in reality it’s only for his. Oh, what would Ethan say? He would tell me to kick him in the ass. But then he would think about it, and probably suggest I accept his proposition. I feel trapped because I actually need the money and the protection. I will never have the family I dreamed of, but I will always have Ethan. He is my real family, no matter what. If they want to take advantage of me, then I might as well enjoy using them, too.
“Okay,” I accept it one breath, crushing all my values with one single word.
“Excellent! I will not announce it publicly tonight, it’s too early. But I want you have fun, get out there and speak to the guests. Tomorrow I will make the arrangements to pay your rent and your credit card. You will receive a new one in the mail in a few days.”
“Fine.”
“It’s obviously implied that whatever is going on between you and Mr. Walker stops immediately.”
His tone is so strict that the mere idea of defying him gives me the shivers.
“There’s nothing between us.”
“Perfect. Then that will be all.”
I get up and leave, not adding anything. Tears threatens to flow and my throat constricts. My hands are shaking and I have a knot in my stomach that suddenly stops me from breathing. I fold in two, trying to catch my breath.
“Carly!” exclaims my brother who saw me from outside.
He runs to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
I strongly embrace him in my arms, using all of my strength to fight the tears.
“What happened?”
“I’ll tell you later. I… I just want to dance.”
I don’t at all, but I’m following my father’s instructions. He wants me to mix with the crowd and mingle with the guests. He wants me to play the role of the perfect daughter, happy to have finally found her father. I can do it. I’m capable of playing the part. I was playing a role for two weeks aboard the cruise, one more evening can’t be that hard.
In the distance, I see Liam speaking with L
iora. I’m beginning to wonder if Richard was right about him. After all, his reputation precedes him. It seems that no woman can resist his charm, but when she finally gives in, he loses interest in her. Was he playing that game with me?
“You deserve better than that guy, Carly.”
I put a hand in my brother’s while he leads me into a waltz. He notices my broken gaze at the sight of Liam and my stepsister.
“I know. Anyway, I think Richard would like to see him with Liora.”
Ethan growls angrily.
“What? I thought you didn’t like Liam?”
“You’re right, I don’t. But I hate even more that a man like Richard insinuates that his daughter is more worthy of a man than you are.”
I shrug.
“She has an education, and wealth, and a family, and a future…”
“And you are worth at least a thousand times all of that with your personality. Carly, don’t be discouraged by them. I don’t know what he said to you in there, but believe me when I tell you that you have much more to offer. And frankly, I don’t like Liam. I don’t think he’s good enough for you, but if you must know, I don’t think money, family or the name you have are important criteria for him.”
“You’re right,” I say, chuckling. “And I’m a Lexington now.”
“What!”
This time my brother is furious. I imagine that he’s aware that a name like that comes with a lot of publicity and he worries. It’s normal.
“Don’t worry, I’m not in danger.”
I quickly tell him the terms of the agreement I made with the devil. I take even more time explaining to him how in the hell I could have accepted it. I think he finally understands, although he obviously disagrees. Still, he’ll have to go with it.
The waltz is over and I’m no longer able to stay there. I need some air and I need to be alone. I tear myself from Ethan’s arms.
“Carly?”
“I’m fine. I just need to get away from all the noise for a moment.”
“Okay. Do you want me to go with you?”
“No. I’ll be fine. Have fun, there are probably many women who are waiting for you to dance on their feet,” I joke.
“Oh, you! You better go before I chase you!”
“Oh, you wouldn’t dare! Not here!”
“Wanna bet?”
I leave before he tries to get me. I remember at our parent’s house how he would run after me across the yard when I was doing something to set him off. I always ended up tripping over one of the many branches and he would tickle me until I couldn’t breathe because I was laughing so hard. I would get up covered with mud from my sneakers to my overalls, and also on the two braids hanging down on each side of my face.
I move away from the crowd to the bottom of the garden where a tree-lined path leads to a lake with a beautiful white pavilion located in the center. I walk on the little rocky road that takes me to the wooden structure and sit on a bench. Ducks swim before my eyes, sinking their beak below the surface to eat.
“Only you could draw such a divine vision.”
I jump and turn around to a man who comes forward in the dark. I don’t need to see him to know that it’s Liam. My whole body is already on alert at his approach. The moonlight slowly reveals his figure. My whole body heats up with this feeling that had faded when I left him.
He stops in front of me, reluctant to take me in his arm and put his hands on my body, even though my whole being to begs him to.
“I didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” I say.
“Yet, I’m here every year.”
“I never imagined you being the type to care for this kind of cause.”
“I believe there are many things you don’t know about me.
“Obviously.”
“I didn’t know you were Richard Lexington’s daughter,” he says, lowering his eyes.
Does he feel guilty for trying to hit on my stepsister? Or is he thinking about the awkwardness that would come if he were to see Liora more seriously?
“I just found out myself,” I reply, sticking to the story my dear father invented.
“I know. Liora explained everything. It makes me realize that I don’t know much about you, either. Almost nothing, actually.”
“You know what you need to know.”
“That’s what you keep saying.”
I shrug. He takes a deep breath, and then extends his hand to me, inviting me to dance to the music that sounds in the distance. I gently put my fingers in his palm that closes around my hand. He pulls me towards him, holding me in his strong and skillful arms. He guides my steps with such ease, demonstrating that he’s probably done this hundreds of times.
“I’ve missed you these past few weeks,” he confesses.
I breathe in deeply, snuggling against his solid body. It’s so good to feel him against me again! An incredible warmth rushes over me so suddenly I could almost pass out.
“Me too,” I reply.
I let out a sigh of sadness thinking that this is the last time I will feel this amazing feeling. I promised Richard I’d stay away from him, and merely thinking of it rips my heart out. But it’s part of the deal, and it’s not like he’s the love of my life, or my one and only. It’s not a love that surpasses all, and is only offered to a handful of people on earth, right?
“Don’t leave me again, please.”
“I wish that was possible.”
And with that, I slowly pull myself from his embrace.
“It is possible,” he insists, his hands holding me against him. “I fear for the poor fool who will try to stop us,” he whispers against my head.
These words rip my chest in two. I hold back my tears and force a polite smile on my face.
“It would never work between us. It was a nice story, but it’s over now.”
He observes me for a moment, studying my expression.
“You can’t really mean that?”
“Yes, Liam. I’m sorry.”
I’m unable to look at him as I say these words. I don’t believe any of it. Trying to convince him it was just a fling is much more difficult than I thought it would be.
“No, I don’t believe you,” he insists.
I feel his eyes seeing straight through me and this ridiculous bluff. I can’t fool him.
“It’s better this way,” I answer.
It’s not just about Richard. How could I ever tell him that I’m not who he thinks I am? I lied to him for two whole weeks while he has been nothing but honest with me. This cruise thing really was the worst thing that could have happened to me! My life has been in complete ruins since, and everything became so complicated. I wish I never won that damn trip!
Liam slowly leans towards me. I want so badly for him to kiss me. I need to feel the touch of his lips against mine, as if he possessed the air that would allow me to live. I’m completely intoxicated by him, his touch, and the anticipation for his kiss. My body melts into his arms and a gentle pressure sets fire to my lips, reviving all the sensations of my body. My fingers glide up to his neck while his hands rest on my waist, holding me against him.
“There you are!” Liora suddenly exclaims.
Liam doesn’t stop kissing me, completely ignoring my stepsister. I take a step back and Liam leaves his mouth against my forehead as he turns to the young woman who’s walking toward us as if she hadn’t interrupted anything.
“Carly, father wants to see you.”
“Okay.”
I venture up the small path that takes me back to the other guests, and Liam tightens his grip on my hand.
“She’ll be there in five minutes,” he informs the young woman before me.
She remains slightly surprised and reluctant to obey, but his stern look which is almost impossible to dispute forces her to leave us alone.
“Don’t take too long,” she adds before leaving. “Father doesn’t like to wait.”
“If this poses a problem for him, he’ll have to deal wit
h me,” Liam immediately replies.
His expression is haunted by a rage that is new to me. It’s clear he doesn’t seem to appreciate my biological father.
“I don’t like being interrupted,” he answers after seeing my questioning expression. “We weren’t done.”
“There is nothing more to say.”
“I’m not giving up, Carly. No woman has ever made me feel the way you do, and I won’t let you leave without a fight. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”
My throat tightens. I don’t want him to let me go and I want to scream at him not to, but the truth is, I live in the real world and not in a fairy tale. In the real world, he has nothing to fear and certainly isn’t concerned with paying bills at the end of each month. I, however, have much to lose, but he doesn’t know that. He knows nothing about me, and chances are he would let me go if he did, especially for lying to him.
“Nothing. I don’t want you to do anything, Liam. Let me go.”
And with that, I return to the small party, leaving him behind me. I feel his pain as much as mine and the more I move away from him, the more I hurt. I’m afraid I made a big mistake, but it’s too late to go back now.
I join my father waiting for me at a table with two other men. One of them holds a camera in his hand.
“There she is!” he rejoices at my sight, a warm, fake smile on his face.
He puts his arm around my shoulders to squeeze me against him.
“My daughter, Carly,” he introduces me to his friends. “But you’ll keep that a secret until the official announcement, right?”
“Of course!” promises one of them. “May I?”
He shows his camera. I look up to my father and he nods. He’s so demanding that I can’t find the strength to contradict him. I show a smile and turn to the man who’s about to take a picture of us. At this moment, my gaze rests on Liam behind him. His eyes divide the crowd in two to reach me. Suddenly, everyone else disappears and it’s only the two of us. I can’t seem to smile anymore. He’s able to control his emotions and I feel like I’m falling apart. Suddenly, his shoulders begin to sag and I see behind his mask. He’s broken.
My father’s strong and cold hand lands on my shoulder and his fingers firmly tighten on my collarbone. I see his warning through his dagger eyes; he saw in Liam what I saw.
A Borrowed Life (Carly and Liam #1) Page 13