by Kim Loraine
Are you fucking kidding me? The Watchers are trying to go to war with God. That sounds more like a suicide mission.
He’s not wrong. Why do you think I abandoned them? They’re angry. He took our soul mates from us and exiled us here with no way to get back. All I want is to find her. I don’t want Heaven if she isn’t with me.
I wait, hoping he’ll agree. Reese sighs and shifts against him on the couch. I could send uncontrollable arousal through his body, force him to take her, but I need him to work with me if I’m going to get what I want.
An intense wave of apprehension fills me, and I can tell it seeps over to Galen. He stiffens and sits up, carefully moving Reese off his body.
What is that?
They’ve found me. Wake Reese, right now. You have to get away from them. They’ll kill her without a second thought.
Why would they hurt her? She hasn’t done anything wrong.
Something about her woke me. The only thing that could do that is my soul recognizing hers. I wish there was a way I could have let him down easier. Galen’s heart shattered as I said the words. He loves her. He doesn’t realize it yet, but knowing Reese is meant for me and not him has broken him.
They know I won’t go with them if I’ve found her, Galen. But if they kill her and send her to Heaven, I’ll follow.
Wouldn’t you want that? Then you could have her for eternity.
I wish it were that easy. I want to live a life with her. God is not going to just let us fight our way back, and they’re mistaken if they think he will. They’d do better to join forces with Lucifer and wait for the end times.
The urgency to flee is growing with every passing moment, and I push for control. If he won’t listen, I’ll take over.
Someone is tickling my forehead with a feather. I don’t want to wake up right now. I can tell just by the way my head feels that it is an ungodly hour. Raising a sluggish hand, I bat at the annoyance and come in contact with something solid. A jaw. Galen’s jaw. It wasn’t a feather tickling me, it was his lips.
“Ouch. Watch it,” he complains.
Opening my eyes, I’m not entirely displeased to see him hovering over me, his anxious brown gaze inches from mine.
“What are you doing?” I ask as I begin to claw my way back to consciousness.
“We have to go.”
“In the morning. I’ll go in the morning.”
“No, a ghra. Now. They’re coming.”
A shock resonates through me, eliminating the last clutches of sleep trying to drag me under as I take in the urgency in his tone. “Who is coming?”
Letting out a heavy sigh, he takes my hands and pulls me to my feet. “Watchers.”
I shrug. “So?”
“They’re coming to kill you.”
“Me? What did I do to them?” My stomach clenches when he presses his lips into a thin line and darts around the house without answering me. Damn, this night is rapidly spiraling downhill. “I need a minute to get my stuff together.”
“I’ve already packed for you. Come on, you need to get to your car.”
“Where’s your car?” I ask, not wanting to be separated from the only person who stands a chance against these creatures.
“I, uh … flew.”
“To Portland? That seems a little excessive.”
Shaking his head with a slight smile, he kisses my forehead. Then it dawns on me. “You can fucking fly?”
Huffing out a breath, he rakes his hand over his dark hair. “Now’s not the time. Come on. They’re close.”
He snags my keys out of my hand and throws my bag over his shoulder, ushering me outside into the heavy rain in only my pajamas. We’ve got only a few hours until sunrise, and I’m not sure how we’re going to make it back to Seattle before first light.
“I’ll drive,” he says, and, ever the gentleman, he holds my door open while I get in the car.
His jaw is tense as he speeds through the streets of Portland before hitting the highway. Ten minutes into the drive and I’ve resorted to staring at my knees so I don’t see how fast we’re going.
“Are you going to tell me why the other Watchers want to kill me?” I ask when I’m sure distracting him won’t end up with us dead.
“You’re their ticket to getting Sariel back. If you’re not here to distract him, they think he’ll help them wage war on God.”
My mouth drops open. “God? Like, the God?”
He nods, attention on the road and hands white-knuckling the steering wheel. Somehow, I don’t think his tension has anything to do with escaping the Watchers.
“He still thinks I’m his soul mate?”
Another nod. “It’s the only explanation for him waking. Your soul called to him. I’m just the body he’s in.”
My heart hurts to hear the bitterness in his words. “Galen,” I say, reaching out and cupping his cheek. “You’re so much more. You terrify me, but it’s you I can’t stop wanting. Not Sariel.”
He stays silent for the rest of the drive, sparing me only a few glances out of the corner of his eye. I try to sleep, but my mind is racing. Between vampires, Watchers, and God, I’ve gotten myself into one hell of a situation. When the car slows, I abandon my futile attempt to rest and sit up, startled as we pull into an underground garage.
“Where are we? This isn’t my apartment.”
“My place. We’ll be safe here. It’s completely isolated. You can’t go home. You’ll be a sitting duck and put Trisha at risk.”
Trisha. Shit. I didn’t even think to warn her. Pulling out my phone, I start to call her, but Galen slaps it out of my hand.
“No. They may have already gotten to her. You said she’d been bitten. I don’t know a single vampire who leaves their victims alive.”
“Except for you,” I state.
He nods. “You’re the exception.”
The idea that a Watcher has been using Trisha, toying with her to get to me, is unsettling. As I get out of the car, I fight the urge to shudder. “I’m going to have to go home and get my stuff today. I can go out during the day, right?”
Rubbing a hand over his jaw, he leads me through a corridor and into an elevator. “I’d rather you didn’t go anywhere without me to watch over you, but I suppose daylight is safe. Just promise me you’ll be back here before sunset?”
I yawn, the adrenaline finally fading and leaving me exhausted. “I promise.”
The elevator opens to reveal a large, windowless bedroom. My limbs are so heavy, I just want to throw myself on the giant bed and sleep for days. I should be fine, I slept most of the night, and in the car, but I can’t shake this. Without asking Galen’s permission, I kick off my shoes and strip down to my underwear, tossing back the blankets and sliding under the sheets.
His expression is priceless, slack-jawed and awestruck. It’s all I can do not to erupt into giggles at the sight of this man, so dominant and strong, standing there speechless.
“Come on. You can’t tell me you don’t want me to stay down here with you as long as possible. You’ve been nothing short of a possessive caveman since we met. This place”—I gesture to the room around us—“is literally a cave.”
He removes his clothes without a word and slips in beside me. Scooting back, I snuggle into him, needing the comfort he provides.
“Galen?” I ask in the quiet darkness.
“Yes?”
“Will they find us here?”
He stiffens before pressing a kiss to the back of my neck. “Not if I can help it.”
A few hours later, I’m wide awake. Galen is dead to the world next to me, and as I study his features, my chest aches with a sharp pang of something much more than I’d bargained for. His brow is furrowed, lips turned down into a slight frown as his eyes move back and forth beneath his lids. Dreaming. I wonder what of. Checking the clock on my phone, I groan in frustration. This vampire is killing my schedule. It’s already after three o’clock in the afternoon. I’ve got shit to take care of, even if fal
len angels are after me.
Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I toss one more glance back at him, and my heart flips when he murmurs my name in his sleep. As I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror, I shake my head. Smudged eyeliner and bedhead make me rethink my decision not to shower before heading out. Making my way to the bathroom, I smile when I discover the large shower and multi-setting massaging showerhead. Oh yes, we are definitely going to have some fun with that baby.
Stepping out of the shower a few minutes later, I already feel ten times better. Rifling through my overnight bag, I snag my hairbrush and toothbrush and take care of my hygiene needs before pulling on fresh clothes. My phone dings from its spot on the counter. Absently reaching for it, I unlock the screen and read the scheduling email Barnes has just sent me. We’ve got new acts, which means more days on the schedule for me. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but things are different now. As I open my calendar, anxiety gnaws at my stomach, making me nauseated. Adding each extra performance, I sigh as my nights fill.
When I see a familiar name, I smile, knowing this performer was one I’d liked. I swipe back through my calendar searching for her name from a few weeks ago. My heart lurches when I see the bright red dot on my schedule staring at me from its all-important place last Monday. The sick feeling in my stomach grows and a clammy sweat breaks out on my forehead. Had I been so distracted I really forgot my period was a week and a half overdue? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She’s been gone too long. The sun is setting, and Reese is still not here. Why is she not here? My limbs are heavy, leaden things as I try to move. It’s too early for me to rise, but I have to get to her. As I stand, I have to breathe to control the pain slicing through my head. The last rays of sunlight burn in my blood even through the concrete walls of my safe room. Closing my lids tightly, I try to sense Reese. No small amount of relief floods me when I find her. She’s alive, and she’s close.
The front door opens, then slams shut above me. I can hear the stomp of her angry footfalls, followed by soft sobs. Fuck. Why is she crying? I need the sun to set completely so I can get to her. My entire body aches with the need to be touching her, tasting her. I can still smell her on my skin, and all I want is to bury myself inside her. To take her sadness and replace it with pleasure.
The burn in my blood shifts to pins and needles, making it easier to bear moving around the room. Only a minute or so more until I can make my way upstairs. Standing at the door, I let my hand hover over the handle as the time ticks by. As soon as it’s safe for me, I’m up the stairs and by her side, kneeling on the floor and taking her hands.
“A ghra, what happened?”
Her eyes are red rimmed and puffy from crying. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut as I take her in. Who did this to her?
“You. You happened!” she yells, pushing me away and standing.
Confusion fills my head like a fog. “What could I possibly have done in the last twelve hours?”
“You got me fucking pregnant, you asshole.”
Inside my head, Sariel flares to awareness. I can feel his surge of triumph. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Knowing it was a possibility is different from it actually happening.
“Are you sure?”
She lets out a harsh laugh. “Yes. I took four tests.”
Fat tears roll down her cheeks, and I can’t stop myself from reaching out to wipe them away. As my hand touches her flushed skin, I feel lost. I don’t know what I can do for her. Sitting next to her on the couch, I’m numb.
I’m sorry, Galen. She’s mine now.
Sariel’s voice fills my head, sending a fresh wave of despair through me. I’ve ruined her life. Who knows what this demon child will do to her? Will she even survive?
She’ll be fine. She’s my soul mate. I wasn’t sure, but now that she carries my child, I know. She’s meant for me. I thought she might have been yours. To think, I was on the cusp of giving up and letting you have her.
I wish he would shut up. In this moment, I hate him. He’s taking my love, my life, and shitting all over it. I sense him trying to take over, and, for the first time, I let him.
I can take care of her, Galen. Let her go. It will be so much easier for you if you do. Do you really want to watch her fall in love with me? It’s only a matter of time.
My chest burns. He’s right. It would be monumentally selfish of me to keep him from her at this point. How can I help her? I’m not the one she’s meant to be with. I fade into the background and watch the woman I’ve fallen desperately in love with through his consciousness.
Her tears don’t affect Sariel the way they do me. He’s cool, calm, and relaxed. I watch as he pulls her to him, kissing the top of her head.
“It’s going to be fine, baby. I’ve got you.”
Damn it all to hell. These are the words I should have been saying, the ones I would have eventually gotten out after my brain caught up to my heart. It’s not my baby, not really. I need to remember that as I watch her let him comfort her. I’m just the vessel who had the unfortunate luck to fall in love with her. Damn. Why couldn’t this have happened before I started to fall? It would have been so much easier to leave her. But now, seeing her go to him for comfort, knowing he’s willingly giving it, makes my heart feel like a stake has been firmly planted through it and I’m bleeding out with no way to save myself.
She cries into his shoulder, clutching him tight, and, after a few minutes, finally falls quiet. His hand rubs her back in slow circles, and all the while, I can feel his joy. He is bursting with pride and happiness at finally finding her.
“Reese, look at me,” he orders, tilting her chin up. “We will be fine. I’ll never leave you.”
Her big eyes blink up at Sariel, and I die a little when I watch her expression change from afraid to relieved.
“Sariel?” she asks.
She wants him. He has calmed her just by being there. Unable to take any more, I close myself off, fading into oblivion and letting Sariel have her.
I’m nauseated, damn it. I’m nauseated, tired, and my boobs hurt. Oh, yeah, and I’m pregnant. Double damn it. Sariel has been present for the last week, keeping an eye out for the other Watchers. He’s been none too happy with me going to work most nights and Barnes has commented on my personal bodyguard more than once. Sariel doesn’t have the easy charm of Galen.
Thinking of Galen brings a sharp pain to my chest. Either Sariel has been forcing Galen away, or, a more upsetting prospect, Galen has abandoned me. I can’t believe he would leave me willingly. Especially not after I’d just told him I was knocked up. My chest grows tight as I contemplate Galen choosing to abandon me. As much as I have grown to like Sariel, I need Galen.
Shuffling into the kitchen, I fight off a wave of sickness and grab for the crackers I broke down and bought the other day. Nibbling on a cracker, I sit at the bar of the vastly underutilized kitchen. How am I going to do this? How am I going to be a mother?
“Evening.” That smooth deep baritone I’ve come to crave covers me, and I wait to see who I’m talking to, hoping desperately to hear the lilt of an Irish accent on his next words.
“How are you feeling, baby?”
Disappointment settles on my chest—a heavy weight. “Oh, you know. Just trying not to puke.”
He wraps his arms around me, nuzzling my neck and trailing light kisses over my skin. It’s a strange thing, seeing the man I’ve begun falling for but knowing he’s not looking back at me. Sariel breathes against my nape, pulling me close.
“Let me distract you,” he says, his voice rough.
The idea of letting him inside me brings another wave of sickness. I grit my teeth and take long, even breaths until I’m sure I won’t throw up. “I don’t really feel like it.”
His hands tighten around my arms. “I need to feed.”
That sends my heart racing, and not in a good way. “Won’t that hurt the baby?”
The baby. That’s the first time I’ve mentione
d it. Saying the word makes it so much more real.
“No. If you’re strong enough to carry my child, you’ll be strong enough to feed me as well.”
Stiffening, I finally ask the question I’m afraid to ask. “What happened to Galen?”
“What do you mean?”
His evasion strengthens my suspicions that he’s keeping Galen from me. Turning to him, I ask point-blank, “Are you keeping him prisoner? Is that why he left me?” I hate the tremor in my words.
Silver irises meet mine, and I’m surprised by the tender, almost sad look in them. “I didn’t do anything to him. He chose to leave. He’s locked himself away and gone dormant. He can’t hear you or me. He’s gone.”
Those words cut through me like a hot knife through butter. My heart splinters as I hear the honesty behind his statement. Galen left me. As a tear escapes down my cheek, Sariel puts his arms around me. “This is a good thing. He left because he knows you’re mine. You’ll see soon enough.”
I don’t want him, and as he tightens his arms, pressing his lips to mine, I can’t breathe. I’ve seen him in the throes of his hunger. He’s infinitely stronger than I am and could easily feed from me without permission. His hands snake down to the top of my leggings, sliding under the fabric and into my panties before I can stop him. I can’t help it, my body reacts to Galen’s, even though I know it’s not him. Sariel presses a finger inside, moving in and out as I let out an uncontrolled moan. I stare into his eyes, wishing the swirling silver would return to the warm brown I want to see.
“See? You want this,” Sariel murmurs. His lips are a breath away from mine, and as he moves to kiss me, I turn away, trying to keep my traitorous body from letting him pleasure me.
Tears spring to my lashes when he adds a second finger. “Stop,” I whisper.
He stills immediately. “What?”
“I need you to stop.” My throat is thick with tears.
“I don’t understand. Why?”
Feeling sick again, I push past him. “I just can’t.”
I walk swiftly to the bathroom, locking the door and turning the sink on to drown out the sobs I’ve been trying to hold back. How can Galen think I’m anything but his? I can’t believe he doesn’t know how much I want him. I told him, only a week ago. Anger blooms in my chest. I told him he was the one I wanted, and he left me. Well, fuck him. Fuck all of this.