by L. D. Davis
Quickly, I bent over and scooped it up off the floor.
“It’s okay,” I said as I continued out of the room.
I was glad that Alden hung back to continue talking to Peyton. I was glad he didn’t try to take the phone from me to assess the extent of the damage, because if he had, he would have seen the same picture that I had just thrown away. He would have seen the text under it that read: Soon you will get tired of this and come home.
“Where are we going?”
“You will see when we get there,” Alden said with a wink.
I turned my attention back to my window and watched the Dallas scenery whiz by. We had arrived the previous morning after spending over a week in Miami. That gala had the potential to be my favorite. It was held outside at an ocean front venue, under strands of thousands of soft lights and the moon and stars above that. Alden had been extra affectionate that night and only left my side to perform. He could have been that way because the scene was romantically inspiring, or maybe it was in response to the pictures of him and Trisha that had hit the media a few days prior. Maybe he sensed that something was wrong, no matter how hard I tried to hide it, and maybe he was trying to make me feel good and safe. And I did feel safe with him.
“You’re really quiet, Little One,” Alden said in a soft, worried tone.
“I’m always quiet, at least in comparison to you.”
“Noa,” he said my name so softly I almost didn’t hear it. He was dividing his attention between me and the road, and at the speed he was going, I didn’t feel comfortable with that at all. I didn’t want to become a chunk of Noa-Alden metal.
“Hey, I’m fine, okay?” I said, taking his hand and holding it with both of mine. I really loved how his hand felt in mine. I loved his long musically talented fingers – his orgasmically talented fingers. I appreciated the ruggedness of his hands. They weren’t the soft hands of a spoiled man who did nothing for himself, but they were the hands of a man unafraid to get dirty and work hard. I especially relished the way those hands touched me, gentle and firm at the same time, sensual yet commanding, but never hurtful.
I shook myself from my thoughts about his hands. That line of thinking gave the impression that I was falling for Alden, like, in love. I was surprised by how much that excited me, and how much it scared me. The fear ran very deep.
“Pay attention to the road, Danica,” I said at last and released his hand. I folded my hands together to keep myself from reaching for him.
“Out of all of the people you could have called me, you call me Danica? Seriously?”
“Hey, hot chicks that drive fast cars are cool. Take it as a compliment.”
Alden grinned at me. “So, are you into chicks?”
I rolled my eyes and ignored him, and he focused on the road ahead.
A little while later, we pulled into the parking lot of a marina. I looked at Alden with apprehension. I had never been on a boat before and I was not in a hurry to do so. I watched enough of The Poseidon Adventure, A Night to Remember, and Gilligan’s Island not to bother with the risk of going out on the water. I wasn’t too keen on pirates either, unless it was Johnny Depp pretending to be a pirate, and I didn’t think Johnny was going to be anywhere near this Texan inland body of water.
I didn’t ask questions though. After parking, I waited for Alden to walk around and open my door. I put my hand in his, expecting to walk toward the area where there had to be dozens of boats tied up, but he lead me in the opposite direction. I looked up at him questioningly and he winked at me. We followed a path through a small patch of trees and when we emerged, I immediately saw where he was taking me. A few yards away on what looked like a private dock, there was a very large boat waiting for us. I didn’t know anything about boats, but I later learned that it was a yacht. It looked like a small cruise ship.
“I’ve never been on a boat,” I said as we walked toward it.
“Are you nervous?”
“A little bit,” I admitted.
“Don’t worry,” Alden said, squeezing my hand. “I’ll take care of you.”
It was such a simple sentence, you know, about not letting me drown or get lost on a desert isle, but it felt loaded with an unsaid meaning.
I glanced over my shoulder as I boarded. There were only the trees and the parking lot beyond that behind us. I had been glancing over my shoulder a lot since that first message from Larson in Miami. Two more passive-aggressive messages had followed that one throughout the week. One was just a picture of me…me in Miami. I was standing outside of a café with Hash, but he had been cropped out of the picture or the person taking the picture didn’t include him. He was my buddy when Alden couldn’t be around. We liked to share funny cocaine stories, which shouldn’t be funny at all, but we’d done stupid things on coke in the past. Hindsight isn’t always 20/20, but hell if it isn’t funny sometimes.
The second message was a link to an online article about the top ten political sex scandals of the twenty-first century. It was a veiled threat, albeit an empty one. It didn’t make it any less daunting.
I had been glancing over my shoulder a lot since getting that last message from Larson in Miami. I was afraid one day I would look over my shoulder and he would be there, smiling beatifically, holding dozens of daffodils, and beckoning me to come to him. That’s how he used to lure me to him after an incident. All smiles, pleasantries, and flowers and candy. Things would be fine for a time and then I would somehow mess up, or maybe I wouldn’t mess up at all and he would just be in a foul mood over something that had nothing to do with me. Then the flowers would end up on the floor, pedals torn and crushed, stems broken, water splashed across the floor, and sometimes glass shattered. Then I would end up on the floor with the flowers, struggling to pick up the pieces, to clean up the mess so that it wouldn’t further infuriate him even as I was being punched, kicked, slapped, tugged, and yanked.
“You’re gone again,” Alden said, jarring me from my thoughts. There was a man dressed in khakis and a white polo standing behind him holding a tray with two flutes of champagne, but Alden ignored him and blocked him from my view.
“What?” I asked dumbly.
“You got super quiet again and you were gone. Where are you going?” he whispered, putting a hand on my cheek.
“I was right here,” I said. “I was just thinking about every shipwreck movie I’ve ever seen.”
“I told you I’ll take care of you,” he said with a smile and then “You know that, right? You know I’ll take care of you?”
We weren’t just talking about physically drowning anymore. Now we were talking figuratively. Alden had to go and say something that every girl would love to hear, say something that I myself would have written into one of my novels.
I put my hand on his chest and playfully pushed him away. I gave him a smile and a rueful shake of my head and moved past him to grab a much-needed glass of champagne.
“Are you going to tell me what we’re doing on this luxury liner or what?” I asked and carefully took a sip of the champagne. I really wanted to down the whole glass and take Alden’s glass, too, but then he would know something was wrong. I didn’t want him to know something was wrong. Larson was my problem.
“I just wanted to have some time alone with you away from a stuffy hotel room without having to worry about our privacy,” Alden said, taking his glass of champagne.
The khaki guy walked away without a word. The engine came to life and when I looked back on the pier, I saw another guy in khakis climbing aboard just as the boat began to move.
“Come on,” Alden said and took my hand.
He led me to the bow of the boat. I was pleasantly surprised to find a comfortable looking seating area for two set up for dining. In the middle of the table, a vase held long stem roses of various colors. Instead of using the bright lights from the boat, the area was lit by lanterns and a few candles.
“It’s reminiscent of Miami,” I said, smiling.
His
arm slipped around my waist and he kissed my temple.
“I know. You really liked the setup and I thought you would like it even more without all of the people.”
“Alden Breck, you are romantic under all of that braggadocio attitude.”
He shrugged and smiled. “Only for you, Little One. Only for you would I spend hours setting something like this up.”
I blinked.
“You mean you had someone set it up.”
“No, I mean I came out here before I went back to the hotel after my interviews this morning and set this up with my own hands. I had someone light the candles and lanterns when we were on our way, but that’s all.”
It was the most romantic scene I had ever laid my eyes on and Alden had done it. For me. I swallowed hard and then forced another playful smile.
“You’re getting soft, Breck.”
I gasped when he took my hand and pressed it against the hard outline in his jeans. He smiled devilishly and said “There’s nothing soft here, baby.”
Just to be a bitch, I gave his cock a firm squeeze, making him groan and thrust gently against my hand. I removed my hand with a smirk and stepped away from him.
After dinner, we pulled on our jackets and stepped outside onto the deck. Spring was around the corner, but not close enough. It was still cold, especially out on the water. Alden stood behind me with his arms wrapped around me as I stood against the railing.
“Sometimes,” Alden started. “I wonder how the fuck we got here, and I wonder what would have happened if that barrier never gave.”
I laughed. “You would have tried to kiss me and I would have punched you in the face. And your feelings would have been hurt because for once, someone wasn’t interested in your cooties.”
“You did hurt my feelings! You were so fucking mean. I mean, I saved your damn life, you ingrate.”
“Again, it was your fault that I almost died in the first place, you fustian windbag.”
“Fuck, I love your grandiloquent mouth,” he said amorously.
“Grandiloquent, huh? Did you have to look that one up?”
“Fuck may be my most favorite word ever for many fucking reasons – like it’s versatility for example – but I am capable of using big, fancy words.”
“Okay,” I said with a shrug.
A few short moments of silence passed between us.
“I looked it up like two weeks ago and I’ve been waiting for a chance to use it,” Alden said quietly.
I smiled and held back my giggles. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I am impressed. It’s a good, impressive word.”
His voice dropped to a softer timbre when he spoke again. His breath fanned my face when he said, “I have another good, impressive word for you.
“What’s that?”
“Trust.”
My smile faded. Probably fearful that I would try to pull away, Alden’s hold on me tightened.
“I think that I have proven that you can trust me,” he continued. “Do you trust me, Noa?”
Did I trust him? I had to trust him enough for me to go on the road with him for over two months.
“Yes, I trust you,” I answered.
“Then I think it is time that you tell me what has been going on with you,” he said gravely.
I hoped that he didn’t feel my heart rate picking up pace, but even if he didn’t, my too-high voice was a dead giveaway.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You know what I mean. In New York, you gave me some bullshit story about hearing some bad news, but I know something else happened.”
He grew more intense as he spoke, all signs of our earlier banter gone. “You were skittish for days. You think I didn’t notice the way your eyes darted everywhere when we went out? It was like you were looking for someone you didn’t want to see. Then you seemed to be getting better until that day that asshole pap showed up and gave you the picture of me and Trish. You’re looking over your shoulder all of the time, wincing before you check your text messages, and you hang on to me at night as if the fucking boogeyman is going to come in and steal you away.”
He sighed deeply, and when he spoke again, he tried to speak more calmly. “I know you are a strong woman, Noa. I know you want to be able to take care of shit yourself because you’ve been doing that since you were a kid, but you don’t fucking have to.” The last four words came out harsh and angry. “We’re not getting the fuck off of this boat until you tell me what the fuck is going on.”
I realized that I was gripping the railing fiercely when Alden gently began to peel my hands away, finger by finger. My breaths were ragged.
“Tell me,” Alden whispered as he held my hands in his. His thumbs traced random patterns on my palms.
Larson was my problem. In a few weeks, Alden would be going his way and I would be going mine, and Larson would still be my problem. What would I accomplish by telling Alden anything? I would feel better for a few minutes, maybe even for a few days, but then what? What was he going to do? Go start a fight with Larson and then I would be the one to pay the consequences once Alden returned to his life in L.A.?
“How can we move forward if you don’t trust me, Noa?” he asked admonishingly.
“Move forward?” I questioned between my broken breaths. “What do you mean by that?”
“What the fuck do you mean what do I mean by that?”
Alden stepped back and turned me around. His eyes narrowed furiously on mine. I tried to take a step back but I was already against the railing.
“Did you think that after your obligatory nine weeks were over that I was just going to put you back on a plane to Philly?” he demanded, gripping my shoulders. “Did you think I was just going to go back to my fucking life as if I never knew you?”
Exasperated, anxious, and scared, I shouted at him. “Yes! Yes! That’s exactly what I think!”
And that was true. I always had that nagging thought in the back of my mind, even during my happiest moments with Alden. I didn’t doubt that he cared about me, but I didn’t think that we wanted the same things. We were too different. I would do nothing but hold him back from being the person that he loved to be, the same person that the world was wild about. Then he would resent me for it.
“You’re out of your fucking mind!” Alden shouted at me.
“And you’re in denial! I’m not ‘crazy rock star’ girlfriend material, Alden. These past weeks should have proven that to you. Do you know what the Inquisitor said about you a few days ago? They called you Boring Breck because you haven’t been seen out with the rest of the band drinking and partying and fucking around.”
“So?” he said, but he looked unsure of himself.
“It was trending on Twitter!” I shouted. “Hashtag boring Breck! I’m the one that made you boring and you’re not a boring person. When is that going to become a problem for you?”
“So, let me get this straight,” he said, putting his hands behind me on the bar. He leaned over so that we were nearly nose-to-nose. “You’re upset that I am giving up being a slut and partying and getting into trouble so that I can be with you?”
I nodded after a second of reluctance.
“You’re upset that I am giving up the loneliness and emptiness that comes from banging random skanks so that I can be with the one person that makes me feel like a dying man that has stumbled upon the elixir of life?”
After a little more reluctance, I nodded my head again.
Alden moved until his body was flush with mine. He brought his hands up to hold my face. “Do you know what I think, Little One?” he asked in a barely audible voice.
“What?” I breathed.
“I think that you’re in love with me and you’re terrified that I really will put you on a plane back to Philly. To protect yourself, you don’t tell me anything that makes you vulnerable. You won’t tell me what is frightening you and who or what is hurting you. You take my affection, but you’re afraid to give it because you think it wil
l be rejected. You’re so sure that I don’t really want you that you wouldn’t even put up a fight for me when you thought I was getting blowjobs from Trisha in a fucking alley. It would have been an easy out for you because it was something you would expect me to do, to fuck around on you when I told you I wouldn’t.” He leaned down and kissed me with passion, but it was so quick that I was barely beginning to respond to his warm mouth before he pulled back.
His thumbs skimmed over my cheeks as he stared into my eyes. “I love you, Noa. You fucking wreck me. You have been wrecking me since I first saw your scowling, beautiful…” He kissed my lips. My nose. My cheeks. “…stunning face. And then you opened your little big mouth. I think you had me at ‘obnoxious’ and ‘cocky.’”
“You’re still obnoxious and cocky,” I whispered around the lump in my throat. I swallowed and swallowed, trying to force it down, but it stayed lodged there. My hands were on his chest, trembling. My whole body was trembling, but I couldn’t feel the cold, night air.
“I know I’m an asshole,” he laughed softly. His face quickly grew serious, though. A crease appeared in his brow. “I know I have done some seedy shit. It wasn’t that long ago that I was getting head in the back of a Philly pub. I don’t even remember the chick’s name or what she looked like – well, she had red hair. I remember her hair, you know, the top of her fucking head.”
I tilted my head a little, wondering if he was trying to make me feel better because he was failing. Then again, he was being so typical Alden that I just barely resisted rolling my eyes.
“Anyway,” he said and then scrubbed a hand over his face. “What I’m trying to say is that I want to help you. I don’t want you to hide anything from me, Noa.”
He put a hand on his neck and looked at me with…what? Was Alden…embarrassed? Even with the partial moonlight peeking through the clouds, I could see that his cheeks had a slight rosy tint to them.
Oh Em Gee! Some brethren to the Loch Ness Monster is going to come up out of the lake and devour the entire yacht in one swallow!
The lake monster was just as mythological as I once believed the chance of Alden Breck ever getting embarrassed. If Alden was capable of humility, the monster could very well be real, lurking just out of our sights, waiting to attack.