by Daniel Black
“I was gettin’ some supplies from de supply barn when I overheard Cecil talkin’. He didn’t see me, so I hid and waited for him to continue. I knowed what he was sayin’ had somethin’ to do wit colored folks ’cause he was laughin’ and screamin’ de word ‘niggers’ when I walked in.” Pet Moore crossed his legs and puffed smoke from his pipe to calm his agitated nerves. “That’s why I hid. To see who and what he was talkin’ ’bout. Then Cecil started describin’ what went on at y’alls house last night. He said you and Jeremiah attacked them and killed Billy’s three brothers, but he got away. Then today, him, Billy, and some other white boys come back and took de boy who disrespected Miss Cuthbert. That’s how they described him. They said they didn’t need but one o’ y’all ’cause what they wuz gon do would make de rest o’ y’all wish you wuz dead.”
Ray Ray looked at Enoch, who, instead of reacting, asked, “Did they say what they did with Clement?”
“No. Not exactly.” Mr. Pet paused.
“What chu mean ‘not exactly’?”
“I mean they didn’t say exactly where they took him.”
Enoch’s patience was failing. “Did they sorta say where they took him?”
Mr. Pet sighed heavily, and said, “They joked about lynchin’ him. But then they said that was too easy. They needed to make an example of him that colored folk would never fugit. I could tell they hadn’t done it though ’cause they was describin’ various things they might do to him.”
“Is that all they said, Mr. Pet?” Enoch pleaded further.
Pet rose from the chair. “Just about,” he said, and walked to the front screen door. “They also said the boy was in a safe hiding place for now. They said they wuz gon take their time and”—he shook his head—“separate him, piece by piece. They didn’t say where they wuz hidin’ him. I’m sorry.” Mr. Pet’s sympathetic eyes moistened.
“Thank you, Mr. Pet,” Enoch said, wiping tears. “I gotta go find him, sir. I gotta.” He motioned for Ray Ray to follow.
As they left, Mr. Pet said, “Try de Cuthbert barn. Dat’s my best guess.” After the screen door slammed, he hollered, “Be careful!”
“We will,” Enoch answered.
He and Ray Ray walked away briskly. “We gotta find him, son. We gotta find him,” Enoch repeated, like one thinking aloud unaware.
“Where we goin’, Daddy?” Ray Ray asked, already knowing the answer.
Enoch ignored the question and walked with a precision Ray Ray could not emulate. He wanted to beg his father to wait, to think before they headed over to the sheriff’s place, to give him at least a minute to gather some courage, but Enoch’s silent determination was impenetrable. There was no place else to go, Enoch thought, except to save his nephew. This was the chance he had waited for since Jerry’s death to restore honor to the Johnson family name, and, regardless of the cost, he was determined to show Ray Ray what kind of man he was.
Ray Ray wished Enoch would get a few other men to come along, just in case something happened. He tried not to imagine what Billy Cuthbert and Cecil Love might do to him and his daddy if they caught them snooping around their barn, but Ray Ray had a feeling the price of such rash behavior might be high. He also knew there was simply no use in mentioning any of this, for Enoch was on a mission from which God above could not have deterred him. So Ray Ray walked quickly, trying to keep pace with a father whose eyes burned with vengeance. A rabbit hopped alongside them, a safe distance away, seemingly curious as to where a colored boy and his father were going so determinedly. The rabbit disappeared and reappeared intermittently, raising its head above the high grass on the side of the dirt road and looking at Ray Ray. Its gaze hypnotized the boy and made him envy the creature’s freedom, but then he thought about how much he loved his grandmother’s rabbit stew and—
“Jes follow me, boy,” Enoch interrupted unknowingly, although never slowing his steps. The sheriff’s barn was barely five hundred yards away.
Ray Ray’s fear seemed to multiply his father’s obstinate determination, for Enoch’s steps quickened as Ray Ray tried to hesitate.
Sensing his son’s reserve, Enoch said, “Don’t worry, boy. We gon be all right,” and kept marching. His voice carried more certainty than Ray Ray’s heart.
“What if he ain’t there, Daddy? I mean, what if they done took him someplace else?” This was all Ray Ray could think to say, but he had to say something to keep from fainting in the center of the road.
“We jes gon check and see. We gon be all right. De Good Lawd’s on our side. Ain’t dat what Momma say?”
Ray Ray neither affirmed nor denied. He was simply frustrated that he couldn’t change his father’s mind. For each seed of doubt Ray Ray tried to plant, Enoch uprooted it with hope and wrath until the boy had no choice but to follow in peace. Ray Ray would have been ashamed of being scared, but he was never afforded the time to think about it. The speed of his father’s pace only allowed him opportunity to hope that Clement was in the barn, and they could rescue him without detection.
Dusk was coming on, so Enoch knew the residents would be home soon. He grabbed Ray Ray’s arm as they reached the back of the barn, and whispered, “Don’t make a sound. We jes gon look and see if we find Clement. If we don’t, we’ll leave. I got chu, boy. Don’t be scared.”
Enoch unlatched the big barn door quietly and opened it just wide enough for the two to slither through. Ray Ray hung on his father’s arm like a young bride proceeding down a wedding aisle. They began to look around suspiciously.
“Clement!” Enoch whispered emphatically as he tiptoed across the dirty, hay-strewn, wooden barn floor. “Check over there,” he told his son, who moved with the stealth of a thief. Ray Ray began to look behind the huge barrels, which probably contained flour, sugar, or corn meal.
“Clement,” Ray Ray mumbled. Then he sighed, “Please let us find him, Lawd.”
Enoch climbed the ladder to see if Clement were bound in the loft. Shifting piles of hay with his right foot, he hoped to find his nephew buried underneath. Suddenly, the barn door opened.
“Let’s go get the rest of ’em!” Cecil urged. “You saw what they did to yo’ brothers!”
“Yep, I know,” Billy said with a suspicious calm. “I know.”
“They jes killed ’em and throwed ’em out in de dirt like they wunnit nothin’!” Cecil droned. “You de sheriff! You cain’t let ’em get by with that, Billy!”
“Oh, they ain’t gon get by. Trust me. When we git through wit dat boy, they gon hate they ever seen a Cuthbert.”
Billy opened a barrel and began to scoop flour without ever noticing the top of Ray Ray’s head only inches below. Enoch had slowly and quietly burrowed himself underneath the hay, confident that, wherever Ray Ray was, his fear would keep him still and quiet.
“I still think we should git de rest of ’em,” Cecil said. “Then we could make a example o’ de whole family.”
Billy smiled. “Naw, like I said this mornin’, we ain’t gon do it like that this time. Dem niggers done got uppity, like they ain’t gon bow to white folks no more. They waitin’ fur us right now. If they crazy enough to kill my brothers and throw ’em out in de woods, they’ll kill us, too. We gotta keep our head and make this one count. If we don’t, they gon take over the world.” He resealed the barrel.
Cecil wasn’t convinced. His wounded arm had only exacerbated his wounded pride. “Couldn’t we git jes one more? I mean, if we took the old grandmother, then the men—”
“No!” Billy demanded. He saw Miss Mary in his mind’s eye, curled on the floor next to his bed. “We ain’t takin’ her.”
“Why not? I’m tellin’ you, the men would fall right into—”
“I said we ain’t takin’ her!” Billy screamed.
“What’s the matter with you, Billy Cuthbert?” Cecil yelled back. “What kinda sheriff are you anyway?”
Billy almost explained that Miss Mary had once been his caregiver, but since Cecil was too young to remember and woul
d certainly find the fact irrelevant, Billy simply said, “Jes follow me on this one, cousin. We don’t need but one o’ ’em. Believe me. We don’t need but one.”
“Fine,” Cecil surrendered. “But I hope your plan works.”
“It’s gon work,” Billy confirmed. “Oh boy, is it gon work!”
Cecil smiled at the evil in Billy’s eyes. He was content now. “I jes cain’t understand what’s gotten into ’em,” Cecil said, leaning on the flour barrel. “We give ’em everything they need and still they want more. Now niggers is havin’ voter registration rallies all over this state, upsettin’ de peace we’ve had for hundreds o’ years. It’s all in de papers! They ain’t never satisfied!”
“That’s why we gotta handle this situation really delicate, Cecil,” Billy said slowly. “We gotta take back our place in society. God made white men to rule over everything and everybody, and sometimes it’s a hard job, but it’s our destiny. When thangs git out o’ order like they is ’round here right now, it’s our job to restore order to de world. Dat’s why God made Adam first—to have dominion over everything. And you know he’s white ’cause his name is Adam.”
Cecil’s nodding affirmed Billy’s logic.
“What kinda God woulda put niggers in charge? They wouldn’ta done nothin’ but destroyed de whole world. God is smarter’n that!” Billy nudged Cecil, who nodded more vigorously.
Ray Ray never prayed so hard his entire life. He knew his father was somewhere in the loft, and he begged God not to let those men go up there.
“You think they’ll come lookin’ fu de boy?” Cecil asked.
“They’ll come,” Billy assured. “They always do.”
Enoch closed his eyes and sent Ray Ray a telepathic message not to move. The boy’s legs were cramping beneath him, yet he had no choice but to endure.
“Remember how they said that nigger couple came runnin’ all over the white neighborhood, blamin’ whites for takin’ their boy?” Billy asked.
“Yep,” Cecil said.
“Well, remember what they said they did to ’em? That’s what we’ll do to these niggers when they come, too.”
Cecil clapped excitedly.
“And if they don’t come, when they find that boy they’ll never fugit it.”
“I likes that kinda talk!”
The two moved toward the barn door.
“So don’t get anxious,” Billy warned. “We gotta do this right. Every white person’s life in the state of Mississippi is dependin’ on it.”
“All right, all right,” Cecil agreed as they turned.
“Plus, niggers do better when whites rule ’em ’cause …” and Billy’s voice faded into the evening.
Enoch waited twenty seconds before he dared move or speak. Then he uncovered himself, descended the loft quickly, and found Ray Ray shivering behind the barrels.
“We gotta get outta here, boy! Hurry!” he whimpered.
Ray Ray followed Enoch out of the barn and across the field. He never knew his father possessed such speed and, in fact, by the time they reached home, Ray Ray was the exhausted one.
“Daddy!” Enoch huffed in the living room. Ray Ray simply fell out on the couch.
“What’s wrong, boy?” Jeremiah jumped from the rocker. “What’s done happened?” Miss Mary and Ella Mae froze in the kitchen.
“We went lookin’ for Clement”—breath—“in Sheriff Cuthbert’s barn.” Enoch could hardly speak.
“What?” Jeremiah’s anger flamed. “Who told you to go over there?” He looked from Enoch to Ray Ray, who was glad to let his father be the spokesman.
“We went to see Mr. Pet to ask him if he heard anythang in de sto’ today.” Enoch took two big breaths. “Well, at first he didn’t want to tell us anythang, but then he told us that he heard Billy and Cecil talkin’ like they had Clement tied up somewhere”—breath—“so we went to see.”
“All by yo’self? Is you a fool, boy?” Jeremiah screamed.
“We all right, Daddy. We all right.”
“I ain’t talkin’ ’bout y’all bein’ all right! I’m talkin’ ’bout you two goin’ over there by yo’self. What if they caught y’all? Huh? How wuz y’all gon fight off a gang o’ white men by yo’self? Huh?” Jeremiah trembled. No one dared interrupt him. “Ray Ray,” he turned and reprimanded him. “You didn’t know no better either? You too big and too old fu this kinda foolishness, boy!”
Ray Ray wanted to explain how he tried to slow his father’s steps and how he tried to urge Enoch to reconsider, but remembering that most of his hesitation had been internal, Ray Ray sat quiet and humble as his grandfather’s wrath confirmed that his fear had indeed been legitimate.
Jeremiah’s rampage ended abruptly. The old man returned to the rocker, clearly disheveled and infuriated, but a bit calmer now than before. Tension held everyone at bay as they waited for the family patriarch’s permission to speak. He spoke himself. “What did Pet say?”
Enoch fidgeted, trying to figure out what more he could say. Finding nothing, he repeated what he had just said: “He told us that he overheard Billy and Cecil talkin’ in de supply barn ’bout how they wuz gon do somethin’ unimaginable to Clement.”
“Lawd have mercy!” Miss Mary cried out.
Enoch continued: “And Mr. Pet said they said he was bein’ kept in a safe place somewhere. They didn’t say where, but I thought—”
“You thought?” Jeremiah cut him off. “You didn’t think, boy! You definitely didn’t think!” He started rocking so hard Ray Ray feared he might topple the chair.
“Daddy, don’t be mad,” Enoch begged softly. “I was jes tryin’—”
“You! You wuz jes tryin’ to what? To see if you could git yo’self and dat boy killed?” Jeremiah stared at Enoch with a piercing disgust.
Enoch’s humiliation was more than he could bear. “What did you expect me to do, Daddy?” he hollered.
“I expected you to come back and get me or get somebody jes in case somethin’ went wrong. That’s what I expected you to do, boy!”
“I ain’t no boy, Daddy, and fugive me for not bein’ you!” Enoch screamed.
“I ain’t neva asked you to be me! All I asked you to do is to use yo’ head, and you cain’t seem to do that ’cause—”
“I wuz followin’ a hunch, man, okay?” Enoch yelled. “I didn’t think we had time—”
“You always got time to be safe, boy!” Jeremiah stood.
Enoch shouted, “I ain’t no boy!”
“You my boy! And long as you live you gon be my boy ’cause you de only one I got left.” Jeremiah fell into the chair and wept. He had tried to keep his emotions in order, but the possibility of losing Enoch overwhelmed him.
Enoch fell to his knees in front of the rocker and laid his head in his father’s lap. Jeremiah lifted Enoch’s head and pulled it into his chest, and the two cried years of pain and love suppressed. Everyone else watched, glad the exchange hadn’t gotten violent. Ray Ray’s heart warmed at the display between his father and grandfather, and now he knew why he was proud to be a Johnson.
“Listen, son,” Jeremiah finally said. “I know you ain’t no boy. You’s a grown man, and a damn good one. But I cain’t lose you. I jes cain’t.” He began to cry again. “I jes cain’t lose no more chillen. I cain’t!”
“I’m all right, Daddy,” Enoch mumbled through his own tears. “Me and Ray Ray, we all right.”
Sarah Jane, Chop, and Ella Mae cried more than the men. Miss Mary sniffled as she watched her family come closer together.
“Come here, boy,” Jeremiah called to Ray Ray. He had the only dry face in the house.
Ray Ray stood next to the rocker and waited as Jeremiah blew his nose on a handkerchief. The boy was trying not to cry, but he was losing his grip.
“Enoch, I want you to tell dis boy what he mean to you. Tell him right now,” Jeremiah insisted.
“What?” Enoch said, feeling awkward.
“You heard me, son. Dis boy is ’bout to be a man, a
nd you don’t know what’s ’bout to happen ’round hyeah in de next few days. But one thang fu sho—make him know what he mean to you. Make him know it.”
Enoch knew his father was pressing him past the error Jeremiah had made with Jerry, and although he understood his father’s urging, speaking the fullness of his heart was something he had never done.
Ray Ray stood alone with downcast eyes. He sympathized with Enoch’s naked vulnerability and, really, he wished his grandfather had simply let their assumption of love reign.
Enoch stood and took Ray Ray’s hand. He tried to smile to ease the moment, but staring into his son’s eyes softened an otherwise tough exterior. “I … um …” Enoch’s voice shattered. He dropped his head and tears fell onto the living room floor. “The day you wuz born was the happiest day of my life,” he began. “Me and yo’ momma thought you wuz gon be a girl, and when you come out a boy, I jes started hollerin’. ‘I got me a son!’ I went around tellin’ everybody. Folks thought I was crazy, but I ain’t neva been dat happy. You wuz just one day old, and I took you from dat crib and showed you all ’round de county. Yo’ momma told me you wuz too young to go out, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted everybody to see my beautiful baby boy.”
Ray Ray’s hold on his tears was about to break.
“I used to watch you go to sleep. I would stare at you and listen to you breathe. It was smooth and easy, and it always calmed me down. I would whisper to you how much I loved you, and I would tell you jokes everybody else had done already heard. Sometimes you would smile in yo’ sleep, and I swore you heard and understood me.” Enoch embraced Ray Ray and held him close. That’s when the boy’s trapped tears burst free.
“You mean everything in de world to me, son. Don’t chu neva fugit it. Sometimes I ain’t good ’bout tellin’ you, but I’d give my life for ya. You and yo’ brother.” Enoch motioned for Chop, who cried openly and unashamedly, to join them. “You my soldier, too, Mr. Pork Chop,” he teased lovingly as he included him in the paternal embrace. “You squirmed so much as a baby I thought worms had done took you over.”