by Jessie Wolf
I think that your age regression and all the new hormones are starting to affect how you think and act now but I’m not sure.
What do you mean YOUR NOT SURE?
Will no D.D. AI has ever been installed in the body of a teenage girl before. So I really don’t know how it’s going to affect you or me and how we operate.
In other words I’m screwed.
Hee Hee Hee. Like I say I have no idea what’s going on.
Hay no giggling here. This is some serious deep shit here.
Right now you need to deal with Stonewall kid.
Hun … oh hay. Gotcha we talk later.
“If you’re who your say you are then can you tell me why you look like a 15yr old girl instead of a 96yr man?” Well at least the ass clown has some kind of grasp of what is going on.
“That’s a little hard to explain Gen. But from what I am able to piece together from what I was able to gather from the SECONDARY REBOOT AND REPAIR program of my D.D. AI. This is what 64.9% of what the population of Hades looks like. And because of this fact than this configuration has the highest chance of blending in with the local population. In other words the largest percentage of your population is made up Asian teenage girls.” Can this goat really be this clueless?
“I know that. Hell every red blood male on the planet knows that. But that doesn’t explain why you look the way you do?”
Heyup he really can be that clueless as well as dumb “General are you always this pig headed? Or are you really that stupid? My on board AI took one look at your planets population and found that the largest group of people was Asian teenage girls. By running a simple calculation it came up with the best way for me to hide in plain sight was to be a teenage Asian female. Its main objective is to keep me alive.” I don’t think he took my reply too well but, you know what, I really don’t give a rat’s ass.
“Ok. That explains your appearance. But why did you enter what is known to be a very dangerous Secondary Reconfiguration and Reboot procedure?”
I can’t believe this he thinks that I did this to myself on purpose! “It wasn’t by choice I can tell you that without a doubt! From what I can put together when the pirates attacked the Navigator performed a combat drop landing. When he did this I started to have a heart attack. At that point my AI came back on line and took action to save my life. If that meant it had to enter the Secondary Reconfiguration and Reboot then that’s what it will do. The D.D. AIs are not known for taking half measures you know.”
“So your AI decided on its own to activate the Secondary Configuration?”
“For the last time YES you putts!” I am starting to loss my temper here. If I get asked one more stupid question about how the D.D.AIs works I just might shove one up his ass to show him.
“Commander. Can you tell us how you’re AI that was decommissioned over 70yrs ago was able to come back on line?”
Well maybe not just yet. I think I’ll screw with him on this one just to see how he will react. “That’s a good question. And one that is outside of your pay grade or need to know.”
“Just what do you mean by that?” Yup just like I thought he would. Hee Hee.
“It’s simple I’m done answering any questions you or this bunch of monkey nuts you call a Command Staff are going to ask.” And with that I start walking for the door.
“Get back here you little bitch! Nobody talks to me like that!” Stonewall yells out as he grabs a hold of my arm. I don’t know what happened but I think the COBRA O.S. took over at that point. Because Stonewall goes flying across the room and my heads display is back and giving me hard target locks on the rest of his command staff as both main weapons come on line. I’m wheeling around pointing my weapons at them while dropping into a combat stance ready for a fight. The look of fear on their faces is all it takes to break me out of my combat mode. For over 20yrs in command none of my troops ever looked at me with fear in their eyes. For that matter no ever looked at me with fear in their eyes even when I walked down the streets on leave at home in uniform. Respect yes, but not fear. My God what has that secondary reconfiguration program turned me into? I have got to get a hold of myself. Taking a deep breath in I hold it for a count of ten and slowly let it out. I relax and stand up slowly retracting my primary weapons. Hay I know that one of them is technically a secondary weapon but I just can see something that can blast a whole through 20 inches of case harden armor as a backup weapon. Do you? I mean really if it can do that than it should be a primary weapon. I really need to get control of this situation and I need to do it now. I have to calm these people down and get them to trust me if I’m ever going to figure this whole S.N.A.F.U. if we’re going to get anything done. But first I need some fresh air. “Alright listen up people I’m going to walk outside and get some fresh air and maybe bum a smoke off one of those Marauder pilots out there while I calm down. When I get back I want to know who all of you are, where you’re from, and finally what is your specialty. Got it? Good.” With a flip of my hair I do an about face and step out for the hanger personnel door. I really need that cup of coffee and a cigarette right now.
Dee De what in the name of all that’s Holly is going with me?
I really don’t know JJ. You’re reacting to everything as if you’re in a combat zone.
I’m sorry you wake up as a teenage girl after being a man for 97yrs and see how well you deal? I replied with some heat. Shit I still can’t get my head around the fact that I’m alive instead of being dead right now. That fact alone is a real kick in the head for me. Add in the gender change plus age regression and you have one totally screwed up mess for anyone in their right mind would not want to deal with in the first place. Man I hope that one of those Mark 21 pilots has some coffee and a smoke. I really need the caffeine and nicotine right now. I just want to sit back in a small dark room all by myself for about 24hrs and cry my eyes for some reason. These new hormones and teenage emotions are going to drive me right of the edge and right into the crazy house. I have to figure out what is going on with me and fast. If I don’t these lovely flocks are going to blast ass pass into little bitty pieces of Death Dealer teenage girl. Of that I have no doubt at all. Half of Stoney’s staff back there was reaching for their side arms as if that would do any good. According to Dee De’s read out this Armor Skin of mine can stop anything in the small and medium range of weapons to include energy and beam weapons. Only heavy or crew serve weapons stand any kind of chance of penetrating the Armor Skin that covers me from the neck down so their only chance of hurting me was a head shut. Not that it would do them any good. The titanium covering of my skull as well as the rest of my bones would most likely stop any small, medium or large arms that they could have carried in there with them. As I walk outside I see one of the 21s pilots standing outside of his machine form the looks of him he’s Cpt. Howard. “Excuse me Cpt. Howard?”
The young man turns and looks at me with a smile. “Yes ma’am. Can I help you with something?”
As I look up at him I notice that he is rather cute looking. CUTE LOOKING where the HELL did that come from? “Hum… Yes you wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette and a cup of coffee would you?”
“Well the coffee is in the hanger office. But as far as a cigarette all I have is Earth Prime Gold’s ma’am will they do?” he says with that too cute smile of his. Damn it where are these thoughts coming from.
“Yah that be fine. Thank you.” As I take the offered smoke. “You wouldn’t have light too?” I ask.
“Sure thing here.” As he pulls out his lighter. I notice that it has the 3rd ACR crest on it and wonder if he served on Free Port.
“Forgive me for asking but did you serve on Free Port by chance? The only reason I ask is that you look to be the right age to have been a young Lt. during the battle of Four Points and my daughter was with the 4th of the 3rd ACR at the time.”
“Yes ma’am. I did I was one of the few that made it out thanks to two of those pilots. They just kept strafing the enemy posi
tions over and over while we retreated no matter how many hits they took or Harkconien fighters tried to shoot them down. I’ll never forget their names Capt.’s Steel heart they were a married couple that were assigned to the air attack wing of the fourth squadron." I could see the sadness in his eyes as he looked back, terrible vicious day. I know that look all too well I see it every time I looked in a mirror. He can see the dead and dying, hear their screams of pain and anguish, and he can smell the burning flesh and metal of the battlefield." Those two crazy fools never gave up they kept strafing the Harkconien positions over and over. They've dropped all the bombs, burned through all of their auto canon ammunition, and were down to only the pulse lasers the center of the nose those old beat up Stuka's. They never really had a chance but because their actions myself and several others about 25% of the Regiment were able to get aboard our drop ship and escape." He turned and looked at me. When he saw the tears in my eyes he had to ask." Excuse me ma'am but may I ask why you're crying?" I didn't even realize that it was actually crying.
“Well captain it's like this those two young pilots were my son-in-law and only daughter. All that I ever knew about how they died was that they died in action at the Battle of Four Points on the planet of Freeport." I had to stop and wiped the tears from my face and eyes before I could continue. I knew if there was more to the story that what was reported that a certain high Lord Marshall would definitely be in a massive world of shit. Damn these hormones for getting out of hand and I can't control my emotions. How the world do women let alone teenage girls deal with these quicksilver mood swings is beyond me." Thank you Capt. for the smoke and for telling me how my daughter and her husband died on that day. If you ever need anything from me all you have to do is ask and if it is within my power it is yours." I smile up at him, crushing a cigarette with my foot, and headed inside to the hanger office to find that much needed cup of coffee.
* * *
Looking around as I come inside through the door to the hanger office I see that old Stoney is sitting up in the chair at what looks to be a portable field table. Deciding that it would be better for me to get some coffee before I say another thing to that man I head into the office to find an empty cup and coffee. I quickly find what I need and all the fixes for making it the way I like. As I stand there with the coffee cup in hand I noticed that there is a full-length mirror on the back of the door to the office. Now I know I got a decent look at myself a little bit earlier but I didn't really stop to look at my new face. Deciding to bite the bullet I closed the door and step up front of the mirror. As I stand here looking at her, the girl in the mirror, I have to be honest with myself. She ain’t half bad looking oh she's no runway beauty but with a little bit of work and a small amount of makeup she would be a real cutie. Long black hair reaching down to the middle of her back, soft Asian featured face, small up turned nose, small shell like ears, and finally those deep sea green eyes. Oh yeah that young lady in the mirror could be my own daughter maybe even my wife's sister if she was a little bit old. But even I, as I stand here and look at her, can see a sorrow that should not be in the eyes of someone so young. Hey Dee De you there girl?
Yes JJ I’m here. Something bothering you?
You could say that. Have you compared our new look to your profile pictures of Ohmie?
JJ I didn't want to bring it up but I think that when the secondary configuration and reboot pulled its informational data of the planet's population looking for best camouflage it also accessed my profile pictures to see if there was any examples of what it was looking for in storage.
Are you telling me that pain in my ass secondary reconfiguration program intentionally made me look like my own daughter and possibly a little bit of my wife?
Hum…Yes?!
Me now (black), Ohmie in her flight suite (purple and yellow).
Okay girl friend is time for us to have us a little bitty chat here. I start counting off on my fingers each and every point that I want to make. Starting with can you first turn off that cobra OS? Second if you can't see any way to put it in a sleep mode? Third can you reprioritize my weapons systems and if you can how long will it take?
Well take your questions in order. No. Possible. Yes. And around two hours.
Okay this start with number two and work our way up from there. I really do not like having that operation system running all the time. Especially since it is affected by my emotional state. If we can put it in a sleep mode I'll be extremely happy. I really don't want that thing activated less I want it activated and then all only if it's needed. Once you have that done get back with me on the reprioritization of the weapons.
I'm working on it now and I'll let you know what I get it done. Now I think you need to walk back out to the hanger and go deal with the Lord High Marshall.
Okay love all had out here and deal with Stonewall but I can honestly tell you that if he shows his ignorance one more time I just might punch him in his big fat mouth. But please get to work on trying to override the cobra OS put it in sleep mode please.
I will darling don't you worry I'll get it taken care of. You just leave that to mama.
I stick my tongue out at you naaah!
Taking a deep breath and center myself. I opened the door and stepped out into the massive hangar bay and head for the Lord High Marshall Gen. Alexander Stonewall and his pack of idiots. As I start walking towards the table I notice that they're all looking at me and wondering what I'm going to do. I do not know what came over me but for some reason I just have to put a little saucy sway into my walk as I had for the table. I can see that they don't know what to think or make of this 97-year-old person in the body of a teenage girl. To be quite honest at this point I really don't know either. Even in my younger years I was never this big of a smartass. Right now I think I'll just blame it on the hormones. Yeah that's what I will do I’ll blame it on the hormones that'll be my excuse for now. But then again I can always claim to be senile from old-age. I mean you really can't blame me for that I mean I am 97 for God sakes. As I take my seat across from Gen. Stonewall I noticed that most of his staff will not look at me instead they have their eyes glued to the top of the table. I wonder if they're looking for some great meaning in the wood grain of the tabletop. But there is one who has no problem looking in my eye.
A young second Lieut. with the most beautiful baby blue eyes and blond hair I have ever seen. She has the type of eyes that a man can't fall into and never want to come up from. Oh yeah she is one fine looking young lady and if I was only 40 years younger and still a man I would definitely make a pass at her. She has the type of beauty that you sit back and savor like a fine glass of aged whiskey. You know the ones I'm talking about. The gals that should be on a runaway in places like Paris, New York, and Melon; she's so beautiful that she makes that drab gray planetary defense force uniform look like this to be this next great fashion trend that comes out of the fashion houses back on Earth Prime. As I look at her she gives me one of those knowing smiles that say yes I know you've been checking me out. I never in my 97 years of life been able to get away with checking out a beautiful woman on the sly. Oh well I highly doubt with her looks she would want to be seen when someone who looks like they're barely a 16-year-old teenage girl. Taking a deep breath and all more time to calm myself down I looked back up at Gen. Stonewall. “All right general let's say we start all over from the beginning sound good to you?"
I watch as the general takes a deep breath and slowly lifts it out. Finally looking me in the eye he says." Okay commander I'll agree that we didn't start off on the right foot here. I'm willing to let bygones be bygones if you are. As I see it right now we have 4 major problems. The first of which is at this time you do not have a current ID. Second as far as the port authority goes you are here illegally as an underage unaccompanied minor. Three if you attempt to leave the spaceport the local L.E.O. units will attempt to apprehend you because you are both a minor and here illegally. And finally number four is a Leo unit scans you it
will find all that firepower that you're currently packing. At point in time with the way they are programed we will automatically account to engage you with their weapons. Now you and I both know that the D. D. AI will go out of its way to defend itself. We both know that if this were to happen the Leo unit would lose but before it died it would call in for assistance. This in turn will bring more Leo units which will then try to kill you. While we both know that once they engage you a firefight will commence which will continue to escalate out of control until the military will be forced to intervene. Once that point has been reached we all know that Mark 21 marauders will be deployed. This means there will be uncontrolled devastation all around. Now my question is to you commander what are we going to do now?" Well hell I have to give it to old stony he definitely has a firm grasp of the situation.
“When you put it like that general I don't have the foggiest damned clue. I am open to any and all suggestions. Do any of your people have an idea?" I asked with a sweet smile on my face.
“As a matter of fact Lieut. Walking Water the young lady that you were so carefully inspecting earlier has an idea that might just work. But it's going to take cooperation on everyone's part to be able to pull this off." Was his reply. Turning and looking down the table to the young lieutenant Walking Water." Well Lieut. it's your plan you explain it to her." I shudder at hearing the female pronoun applied to me by the general. Yes I know I look like a teenage girl now that I've only had at most an hour to get used to the idea. Just something else I will have to get used to I guess.
“Commander this is what I figure is our best bet for keeping all of this under control and from getting out to the public. And still give you the ability to live a rather normal life." She looks at me and I can tell just by looking at her that I am not going to like this idea with one damned bit." You become your own granddaughter."
“Excuse me did you just say you want me to be my own granddaughter!!" I yell at the top of my lungs and look at her and plain unadulterated disbelief." Have you lost your damn mind? Everyone who knows me knows that my daughter and her husband died at the Battle of Four Points on Freeport 20 years ago without leaving any children behind. Also take is a simple search of the military data bases of dependent children to find out ally in that state.”