“I’ve never questioned your choice, you know that. You did what you believed was right to protect those you care about, and when you made that choice you still believed you were human. But Gwen, you’re not human,” he reiterates, pointing to my name on the wall. “The daughter of angels...you’ve a mighty legacy, enormous power, and by a twist of fate you now have immortality. You’re the only one who doesn’t seem to understand that the old part of your life is over!”
“But Ben...”
“Blast it woman! You’ve given your humanity to Ben!” Hal interjects, cutting me off. “Our ruse-the memories we’ve created for him-are keeping him safe, but at what cost? Neither one of you is really living, and you are particularly miserable, consumed by guilt.” He pauses, covering his mouth while he chooses his next words. “At two different phases of your life you fell in love with two very different people, and that’s okay. But you don’t see that, Gwen. You’re trying to be the perfect wife to a man you can’t share your experiences with, and you’re avoiding another man because you feel guilty for liking him in the first place. Until you stop ignoring reality, stop desperately clinging to the way things were, and start embracing who you are all three of you will remain miserable.”
Wounded, I lean up against the wall with my head bent. He’s right. I am unhappy...we all are. I’ve been blind to the fact that I push Kade away every chance I get, blaming him for our predicament. My feelings for Ben haven’t been genuine in a long time, and although I’m trying to be the perfect wife it’s out of guilt and because it’s what I believe he deserves.
Whoa, I think, as an epiphany hits me hard. I actually believe Ben deserves better than me, better than a woman who has to lie and hide what she is all the time. No wonder I’ve been repressing. I can feel Hal watching me, his luminous brown eyes almost glowing in the faint light. Embrace who you are those eyes seem to whisper.
“What... how...it’s too late,” I stammer.
“No, you’re shadow fearing.” Peeling myself off of the cold stone wall, I let him hug me, appreciative for the strength of his arms but more so for the solidarity of his mind.
“Your ability to make a decision and never waver is admirable, and I love that about you, but sometimes, sometimes the rules change and the board you’re playing on gets bigger. In those times you may want to reevaluate, sweetheart.”
“You managed to turn being pig-headed into a compliment,” I chuckle. “For that, I love you.” I pull away and take a deep breath, solidifying my next course of action.
“Hal?”
“Yes?”
“Where can I find Z?” I ask.
“That’s not what I meant,” he says by way of an answer.
“I know, but I got this.”
Running a hand through his hair in an extremely Kade-like manner he just smiles and walks me back to the elevator. “You got your cell phone? Good girl,” he replies when I remove it from my back pocket and hold it up. “Z will be on the bottom floor in the training facility; he’s a workout junkie. If he’s not there or you get lost, call me and I’ll come find you.” Nodding, I enter the lift, flashing Hal a devious smile as the doors slide shut.
A minute later I step out into the long white hallway of the basement. I choose to go left and the slight echo of my footfalls is the only sound. Luckily, the mental institution feel of the place fades when I reach the large windows exposing the interior of each room. Seeing the lone runner behind door number four makes me smile. Having cornered my prey, I stealthily slip into a gymnasium sized room full of treadmills. Due to the blaring music and mechanical motor of the treadmill, stalking Z isn’t difficult. Not startling him and accidentally getting my ass kicked is what I’m more worried about. So I take the safest approach and slowly turn down the volume on the stereo situated in the middle of the room.
“What the fuck?” Z yells. The aggressive look melts from his face when he turns to find I’m the culprit.
“You need a run too?” he asks politely.
“Not exactly,” I smirk, having put together that running to escape our problems is a trait we both share. “I need two things from you Z. Tonight I need your help and later we’re going to have a talk about all this.”
“All what?” he asks flippantly.
“Don’t bullshit me, I run too when I don’t want to emotionally deal.” Hands on my hips, I stand my ground, ready for his angry backlash.
“You think I’m running away?” His incredulous reply doesn’t faze me - I consider this form of evasion my expertise.
“No, I said I love you and we are going to have a talk about the nightmare chip on your shoulder named Himyar at a later date. Now are you going to help me or not?” Bug eyed, Z just stares at me. If I was anyone else he’d have likely popped me in the jaw by now. Since his usual recourse is unavailable he stands there speechless, not sure what form of action to take. I drag out his discomfort as long as possible before a smile crumbles my cool exterior. Realizing I’ve got his goat, he chucks a towel at me. He capitalizes on my momentary distraction and rushes forward to smother me in a sweaty hug.
“So what ya need me for?” He grumbles, refusing to let go as I squirm.
“Get off, I can’t show up at Kade’s smelling like another man,” I joke.
Dropping me instantly, he replies, “Come again?”
Now it’s my turn to feel uncomfortable. Catching myself staring at my shoelaces I force my head up, reminding myself that I have no reason to feel ashamed. “Help me find him.” Nodding, Zafir pulls me close again, searching my eyes for the truth. Unwavering, I weather his scrutiny.
“Ready?”
“Yes,” I breathe.
* * *
A million thoughts clutter my brain as I stand in front of Kade’s bedroom door. From his perch against the wall, Z leans over and rests a hand on my shoulder when he sees me reach for the handle. “Gwen, that’s my brother in there,” he whispers. I look up and we share one of our infamous nonverbal exchanges, during which he presses upon me the reality that while he loves me to death, his loyalty is to Kade and he has no qualms with kicking my ass to the curb if I hurt him. I remind him that although it took me awhile to figure it out, I’m crazy about Kade. Seemingly convinced by my argument Z turns to go.
“I’ll make sure you aren’t disturbed; Rashid was looking for you earlier.”
“What? Why?”
“Something about cupcakes.”
That guy is all stomach, I think, rolling my eyes. “Thank you,” I whisper too quietly for Zafir to hear.
Reaching out I twist the handle of the door that’s been right in front of me this whole time, but I’ve never had the guts to open it before now. Gliding through, I close myself inside and lock the door. A freshly showered Kade fills the bathroom doorframe with skin glistening and his broad shoulders taut with surprise. The muscles of his abdomen ripple as his left hand moves to grip the towel wrapped around his waist like a lifeline. His other hand moves in a familiar pattern, fingers running through his damp hair. He’s nervous, I make him nervous. I’m baffled that I could illicit such a response from the unshakable Wanderer and I forget what it is I planned to say. My appreciative gaze memorizes the contours of his body as we stand there, neither one of us saying a thing. A tilt of his head draws me to the luminous glow of his eyes, which burn with wolf-like hunger and traps me against the door like a deer in headlights. I cast aside my earlier assessment; he doesn’t appear nervous at all. His look promises to devour, but with patience bred from centuries of waiting cautiously, he stands his ground. I will have to go to him. Luckily, tonight I’m the master of my own destiny and what I want has never been clearer. Kicking off my sneakers and tossing my sweater aside I pounce. Even one-handed he catches me easily, pressing my hips against his torso. Without relinquishing his hold of the towel, his free hand runs up my neck, pulling my head back. His kiss robs me of strength, stealing the breath from my body. I wrestle with him for control of the towel, my fingers dancing along th
e line of his abdomen. His throaty chuckle halts my efforts.
“Are you ready to give yourself to me completely?” The heated breath of his whisper tickles my ear and sends a tingling sensation coursing through me. Arching up onto my tiptoes, I look him in the eye and answer: “All I can see is you.”
I know he understands when his other arm comes up to encircle me and a hungrier, pent up passion slips into his second kiss. From the moment he rescued me that day in the desert and claimed me in front of everyone, I have been his. I lift my arms, aiding him so he can slip my tank top over my head. My bra hits the ground a heartbeat later. With unsteady fingers I fumble with the buttons on my jeans as soft kisses tease my nipples, riddling my body with nervous anticipation and making it next to impossible to successfully shed the last of my clothing. I finally succeed and direct his face back to mine then hop in his arms, wrapping my legs firmly around his waist in the process. Off balance, he steps forward and braces me against the wall with that cursed towel somehow managing to hang on to his hips.
I tap into my powers and flip off the lights to set the mood. Kade’s eyes watching me in the dark are the only light I need. Tearing his lips away from mine, he laughs and flips the weak bathroom light back on.
“I can see in the dark, but not that well. I’ve been waiting a long time for this...I want to see you.”
“Five years,” I whisper, agreeing it’s been a long while coming. His knowing stare waits for me to digest his words while he strokes my hair. I’m an idiot! Kade has been waiting a lot longer than five years for me to finally notice him. Heartache floods my face and a single tear escapes to run down my cheek. Kade’s love spans more than a decade of pain and neglect, and I can’t even begin to fathom how he’s survived. With a thought I set all the lights ablaze, granting his wish, wanting him to see every inch of me. Cupping my face in his hands, he wipes the last of the moisture from my cheek and smiles.
“I think just one will do,” he tells me, snuffing the rest out with a thought. Following his lead I enlist my powers to yank the towel free from his hips.
“I wondered when you were going to get around to that,” he jokes, carrying me over to the bed. That anticipatory throbbing in my belly peaks and I pull him down to kiss me while at the same time trying to draw his body in closer with my legs.
“Mmmm,” he rumbles then pulls back to look at me. I try to communicate through my kisses just how desperately I need him, hard and fast right now, but all my attempts to rush him are thwarted. I may have hit the play button, but it’s the Kade show now. With agonizing self control and painstaking deliberation his lips pay homage to my flesh, memorizing every curve of my body with not only his mouth but his hands as well. Never teasing, but also never quite fulfilling my desire, he learns my secrets: what foreplay I can endure and what drives me to distraction. My wild abandonment almost makes him lose his focus twice and give me what I want before he’s ready. When our bodies finally connect the orgasm he’s kept just out of reach comes crashing down. My fingers run down his back and I refuse to let go, forcing him in deeper, harder. Shivering as the ecstasy lingers longer than I’d thought possible, I finally relax my hold on him, panting. His heavy breaths match my heartbeats while I lay snuggled against his chest. Tucking a stray hair behind my ear, he pulls up on his elbow to look down at me, his eyes smoldering, chest still heaving.
“Again,” he whispers.
Chapter 13
Sleep, that often elusive mistress, claims me easily tonight. Desperate to hold on to this stolen time together, I fight her off, knowing tomorrow will have no time for us. Life and its endless demands will claim the attention of both of us. But cleverly sleep creeps in during the moments of blissful satisfaction that follow our joining to pull me down into oblivion. Physical discomfort pulls me back from the abyss of dreamland several times though, and I’d love to tell Kade I’m not a cuddly sleeper but I can’t quite manage it in my semi-conscious state. Every time I roll over his body shifts, moving to accommodate my desired position. Enfolded and safe in the security of his arms, I let him have his moment since I suspect he wouldn’t release me now even if I asked. So I rest, vaguely aware of the sleepless Wanderer watching over me.
The stiff neck and sore joints I was expecting when I wake in the morning never manifest. Lying across Kade’s chest, I think of every excuse imaginable not to leave this bed, but life detests lethargy and naturally takes the opportunity to intervene. The vibration of a muted cell phone is my first wake up call that this room is not real life, at least not yet. There’s a great many things that have to happen before I can consider calling this place home.
“No... I guess you will... then take a later flight!” The biting remark at the tail end of the phone conversation surprises me.
“It’s time for me to go,” I say, assuming that was Hal calling about our upcoming departure.
“You’re taking a later flight,” he answers, kissing me before slipping out of bed and pulling on a pair of pants. “I’ll get your things.” Rolling over, I stretch out on my stomach and snuggle back into the pillow. Closing my eyelids I drift off. The soft click of the door and the rich distinct smell of Kade alert me to his return. I feel his weight on the bed an instant before his strong hand caresses my back. I turn on my side and his body slides in closer, fingers traipsing lower, stroking the soft, sleek flesh of my breast. I reach back for him and freeze.
“Hey, you’ve got pants on.” A throaty chuckle sets his whole chest rumbling and he leans down to kiss my ear before pulling me back against his bare chest.
“We’re out of time, I’m afraid.”
“But you said I was taking a later flight,” I pout.
“You are.”
“But you’re not,” I blurt out, understanding he means it’s him who has to leave. “How long?” I ask, dreading his inevitable reply.
“Long enough.”
“Kade?”
“Yes?”
“Hal told me you were indestructible, but then he made an offhand comment about you dying the other day. Which is it?” The thought had been bothering me since the airport but I’d had neither the opportunity nor the desire to ask. I knew the Wanderers were immortal so naturally I assumed that meant they couldn’t be killed. Running my fingers along the firm curve of his forearm, I patiently wait for an explanation.
“We heal almost instantly Gwen, so killing us would be next to impossible.”
“But it could be done,” I push worriedly.
“I don’t know.”
“Huh, what do you mean you don’t know?” I sit up to look at him, becoming exasperated. His safety is not a joking matter.
“No one’s ever succeeded, Gwen,” he laughs and makes light of my concerns. “And the angels didn’t exactly leave us with an instruction manual after their spell.”
“Oh,” I mumble, allowing him to pull me down into his embrace once more. The feel of his fingers running through my long hair relaxes me.
“What exactly did Hal say?”
“I’d asked him why he couldn’t just teleport to Utah with me instead of flying. He said traveling with me could kill him.”
“Ah,” he says, making some unforeseen connection. “Hashim, Hal, and Rashid discovered the hard way after the angels’ spell that they couldn’t teleport while carrying any amount of weight. Most of us figured out pretty quickly that we’d lost the ability to teleport all together. Hashim’s first attempt to shift left him unconscious for nearly two days, and he’d only been carrying the clothes on his back and a few items tucked into his belt. Over the years the three have grown strong enough to travel with a few accessories like cell phones, but much more than that still incapacitates them.” Kade’s words are disconcerting; why would the angels take away an advantage like teleportation? It makes no sense. “And to answer your next question, yes Sylph can teleport and yes, they have the ability to carry small objects while doing so.”
“Why would the angels mess with your ability to telep
ort?”
“Like I said before, we weren’t left with instructions, so what we know about our abilities is largely due to trial and error.”
“I wonder what the most any of them have been able to carry is?” I ask.
“You’d have to ask Hal,” Kade whispers, turning his attentions to my neck. He plants soft kisses down my nape, his hand moving to trace the curve of my thigh. I arch back. “Move your hand another inch and those pants aren’t going to stop me,” I vow. The look in his eyes says he’d like to test my sultry promise but duty and obligation hang heavy on his shoulders.
“Where are you going?” I sigh, resigning myself to the fact that he’s leaving soon. Sliding out of bed he starts the shower and then finds me a fluffy towel.
“I’m not sure exactly.”
Disapproving of his evasion, I drop the sheet and tauntingly stroll to the shower, flaunting my naked body. The master of self control just watches my progress with his amber eyes ablaze with lust. “Bullshit,” I tell him, pulling the shower door closed behind me. Through the foggy glass I track his migration as he moves into the bathroom to watch me. Toying with my unforthcoming Wanderer, I press my breasts up against the cool glass.
“Damn it woman.”
“Tell me what I want to know,” I reply.
“We’re not returning to the sea.” Relief floods my system and I keep my fingers crossed that he won’t be that far away ever again. “Zafir has a few ideas he wants to flush out, and since he’s the one guy who knows Himyar best, Adil’s prepared to let him take the lead on this one.”
“Kade!” I raise my voice. “Where are you going to be?” I’m annoyed that he won’t just come right out and say it.
“Z and I are going back to the valley where it all started for them.” My heart sinks at the news; he won’t be lost at sea but he’s still going to be continents away. “Once upon a time there was an alter built there to honor Himyar. It’s the place where the twisted followers of his self-appointed religion went to perform their rituals, many of which included human sacrifice. We are going to try and unearth that alter, to destroy it.”
A Step Away (The Wanderer Book 2) Page 10