“Not exactly,” I tell him, “but he did answer simple yes or no questions by nodding. Didn’t you, David?” Cracking a small smile, he bobs his head and proves my point. Grinning, I hand the little guy the glass of milk I’d promised.
“So what did you find?” Z asks Basal. Unable to listen to Basal explain again how David has no one, I leave to see how Hal’s recovery is progressing. Kade and Rashid are trying to coax some water into him when I arrive.
“Any change?”
“None,” Rashid growls, frustrated. “He should have regained consciousness by now, at least briefly. But his heartbeat is strong and he’s still breathing, so everything’s going to be fine,” Rashid affirms, reassuring himself.
“No!” Zafir’s bark draws us all back to the living room. “We’re not turning him over to the state. You’ve got to come up with something better than that.”
“Z, be reasonable. I’m looking but I’m just not finding much. David and his mother appear to have been on their own.” Grinding his teeth, Zafir rubs his jaw and glances at David.
“I’m taking the kid to get some clothes. Keep looking,” he orders, pointing at Bass. “Come on,” he waves to David, his gravelly voice sounding a little gruff. The little boy, who seems to be developing quite an attachment to Zafir, hops down off the couch and shadows the big Wanderer without a second thought. “That includes you,” Z tacks on looking directly at me. “I don’t know shit about clothes.”
Chapter 28
It takes Hal three days to regain consciousness and when he does I am there. Without a word, I slip off the chair where I’d been watching over him and set a can of Coke, a granola bar, and a bottle of multivitamins down on the nightstand where he can see.
“Breakfast of champions.” The sarcastic comment I’ve been waiting to use rolls off my tongue. He’s weak and the exertion he expounds trying not to laugh leaves him sweaty and breathless.
“Don’t be mad,” he says in a raspy voice no louder than a whisper.
“Mad? How about furious? You deliberately invaded my privacy. For years, I might add.”
“Did it all to keep you safe... and I’d do it again.”
“It’s lucky I’m quasi-immortal because this shit probably causes cancer.” My venom earns me a smile. When the boyish grin I’ve come to cherish lights up his haggard face, I fully embrace just how worried about him I’ve become. I know Rashid promised he’d be fine, but secretly I’d had my doubts.
“Don’t be so careless with your life again,” I scold, blinking back tears that have no business bothering me right now. Damn it! I’m such a girl these days.
“Necessary,” he replies, keeping his answers short and to the point; the effort to speak is evident in his accessory muscles.
“No, you’re the one who’s irreplaceable. Not me, you’d have found another Nephilim eventually.”
“No, you are the last,” he shakes his head. “Worth more than you know, and I couldn’t let my brother suffer eternity without you.” The reference to Kade makes me blush but Hal doesn’t notice, from his vacant expression I know he’s recalling the pain of his own similar losses.
“Do you miss them? Your wives, I mean,” I ask him.
“Every day.” Closing his eyes he drifts away, his breathing settling into the familiar sleepy pattern we’ve all grown accustomed to over the last few days. Quietly stepping out of the room, I then rush to tell the guys the good news.
“Hal was awake!” I gush. “He spoke to me.”
“Excellent!” Basal and Rashid chant in unison. “I’ll start making travel arrangements,” Bass informs us, already on the phone.
“So soon?” I question, looking to Kade.
“Yes, now that we know Hal will recover we need to regroup with the others. Our job isn’t finished.” He’s right; Himyar’s plans were foiled but the mess he started hasn’t been cleaned up yet, and Gabir is still out there.
“There’s something I have to,” I announce as I snag Kade by the arm.
“If you’re worried about your stuff or the house, don’t be. Rashid and Hashim have already cleared the place out and your stuff is in route to Utah as we speak.” My jaw drops in amazement and I lose my train of thought for a heartbeat.
“No it’s not that.” I shake my head to clear it. “Take me to the cemetery.” With a nod of silent recognition Kade disappears to get his keys. I don’t know if he mentions to anyone where we are going, but it doesn’t matter since we won’t be gone long.
Antsy, I sit on my hands on the car ride over trying not to fidget. I watch the landscape fly by as I try to script out what it is I’m going to say. The slight bump of the tires against the curb when Kade parks the car pulls me from my reverie, and I stare out the window perplexed, thinking that we can’t be here already. Looking out at the rolling hills littered with headstones, I see we have in fact arrived.
“This’ll just take a minute,” I tell Kade, unbuckling my seatbelt and slipping from the vehicle. “Do you know which one it is?” I ask, ashamed over the fact I don’t know where my own husband is buried. Leaning over the center console, Kade points to a fresh mound of dirt on our left. I close the car door and head in the direction of the grave. My rehearsed speech flies out the window as I approach the gravesite. Kneeling, I run my fingers over the headstone’s inscription, reflecting on the caption I can’t remember selecting. Maybe Barbara is responsible for that, I think. Whoever came up with it, I’m grateful: Ben certainly was a loving son and husband.
“I hope you were happy,” I begin, as my sorrow and guilt pour out in a full disclosure explanation I could never give him while he was alive. I admit to everything: my unknown heritage, the Wanderers, the Sylph, my part in the resealing, loving him, the lie I’ve been living for years, all the times we modified his memory, my relationship with Kade, and the truth behind his death. I don’t find forgiveness, but the soft earth and cold, hard granite headstone don’t judge me either, and somewhere along the way I find closure. Does it mean I’m finished mourning or feeling guilty? No, but I’m on my way.
“I’m going away for a while,” I inform him, wiping my cheeks and drying the tears I hadn’t realized were falling. “I have to finish what’s been started.” I grin fondly and promise, “I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.”
“Ready?” Kade’s velvety voice inquires.
“Yes.” Helping me rise, he pulls me against his chest, holding me tenderly for a moment. I accept his hand, and following his lead we take the first steps onto the next phase of our journey together.
Epilogue
“Do it! Wish him free!” The man with the red eyes shouts again. Clinging tighter to Mama, I close my eyes.
“Please, I don’t know how, I don’t understand what you’re asking,” Mama says.
I try hard not to, but I peek. The pretty rock the man holds glows. He yells and hits Mama. His face is mad and his eyes are scary. I hide my face so he won’t see me. Go away, go away! I shout in my head.
“I’m going to give you one more chance. If you can’t help me, then you’re of no use,” the red-eyed monster says and smiles. It’s a mean smile.
Mama takes the rock he gives her, looks down at me, and then shuts her eyes. “I wish you free,” she says again.
Nothing happens.
“Stupid woman!” The monster yells, hurting my ears. I cover them tightly with my hands. Grabbing the rock, he snaps his fingers and she falls on the ground.
“Mama!” I run to hug her but the monster holds me back. Crying, I touch the rock. “Be free, be free,” I whisper, repeating what he told Mama to say, hoping to make him happy. Blue smoke comes from the rock and I move my hand away. A ghost with black eyes flies out and I scream.
“Mama, Mama!” I call out as I wake up. But my Mama isn’t here. She doesn’t come running anymore when I call for her.
“David, it’s okay. You’re safe. It was just a bad dream. It’s okay, Z’s here. I will always be here.” I hear him say.
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I’m in my new bed now, and the monsters are gone. I’m safe now. He’s here, my Daddy’s here. He saved me.
Acknowledgments
I think my neighbor said it the best after reading A Step Away for the fourth time: “I feel like it’s a part of me, and I want it to be perfect.” While it may never be perfect, it is a work of art made all the more beautiful thanks to the many individuals who put a tiny piece of themselves into its pages. I could not have done it without you.
About the author
Jocelyn resides in sunny California with her husband, who keeps her sane, and her four beautiful children. When not writing she’s either running to stay sane or outside soaking up the sunshine.
For all things Wanderer please follow me:
www.jocelynstover.blogspot.com
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A Step Away (The Wanderer Book 2) Page 22