Kaya’s eyes instantly flew wide. Her breath caught, and she seemed to hold it for much longer than she should have. “There is no Shaxoa here,” Kaya said.
Talon’s thoughts sprang into mine. “She is lying to you, Uriah. The Shaxoa is here, and she is afraid to tell you about her. The Hano Shaxoa is very powerful. She harmed a young woman recently. Kaya believes it was not on purpose. The young woman wanted to learn from the Shaxoa and could not handle the experience.”
“You got all that from her thoughts?” I asked Talon.
“The mind is capable of thinking much faster than the human mouth can speak.” His assessment was stated as mere fact, but the warning about Kaya had been forceful and honest.
Turning my thoughts back to Kaya, I stared into her eyes. Kaya did not turn away, but her eyes held tremendous fear. “You are lying to me, Kaya,” I said.
The shaman was taken aback at my accusation. She was about to respond to my words, but I quickly cut her off.
“Kaya, I don’t mean to be rude, but I do not have time for lies,” I said. “I know there is a Shaxoa living in Hano, and you believe her to be very powerful. I know that she injured a young woman, though it may have been an accident. Please do not lie to me, Kaya. I can’t waste any time here.”
Kaya stared at me dumbfounded. “How…how can you know that? I am the only other person who knows how the girl was hurt, and I haven’t said a word about it to anyone else.”
I took a deep breath, and took a risk by telling her the truth. “My companion can hear your thoughts. He told me about the injured girl.”
Her reaction was much different than I expected. Telling anyone else that I had someone hiding nearby that could read her thoughts should have either gotten me thrown out of the house or slapped across the face. Kaya’s eyes closed tightly as she took a steadying breath. Her hands folded in her lap before she opened her eyes again and stared intently into my eyes.
“Your companion is an animal isn’t it, a wolf, or a cougar?” she asked.
It was my turn to be shocked then. Quaile hadn’t said anything to me about Talon when I had emerged from my house to see her standing with the animal next to my motorcycle, but later Talon told me she had been terrified by his presence at first. Only after testing the animal’s ability to hear her thoughts did she calm down and accept him as a friend.
How was it that Kaya not only accepted what I had told her, but came to the correction conclusion about Talon on her own? She looked to be not even thirty years old, but was already proving more knowledgeable than Quaile. My hopes rose. If I could convince Kaya that I really needed her help, I might be able to learn much more from her than I had expected.
Realizing that Kaya still sat waiting for my response, I shook off my shock and spoke. “Yes, my companion is an animal, a cougar. He’s listening in on our conversation. I’m sorry for having to do that, but I’ve been lied to a few too many times lately, and like I said, I really don’t have time to sort the lies from the truth right now.”
“Can I meet your companion?” Kaya asked. The fear had left her eyes, replaced by a curious exhilaration.
I was surprised by her request, but I needed her help very badly. Reaching out to Talon, I relayed Kaya’s question. Talon was wary to agree, but as he sifted through Kaya’s thoughts he felt her genuine curiosity and finally gave his permission. “Yes,” I said, “you can meet him. He’s in your backyard.”
Kaya’s entire face lit up with excitement. I was sure she had completely forgotten what we were talking about earlier. I tried to keep my frustration at the delay to a minimum. If meeting Talon would gain me the help I needed, the wait would be well worth the result. Kaya stood, but let me take the lead. I could see the back door of her house from the hallway. Calmly, I walked to the door and opened it. Talon stood about ten feet away, watching Kaya closely as she came through the doorway.
“What’s its name,” Kaya asked.
“His name is Talon.”
Her smiled widened. “May I approach him?”
“Yes,” I said. Talon had heard her question and given his answer before she finished speaking.
Brimming with anticipation, Kaya walked slowly toward Talon with her hand outstretched. Talon remained still. Her progress seemed painfully slow, but eventually her fingers met Talon’s sand colored fur. At first she just held her hand still, but when Talon lifted his head and stepped forward, both of her hands came up, stroking him fondly.
“This is amazing, Uriah,” Kaya said. “I’ve heard stories of men being able to communicate with animals. I’ve even been told that I can ask animals for help if I need it, but I have never even heard a whisper of anything like this in recent history.”
“In recent history? So, you’ve heard of this before, though?” I asked.
“I have read or been told of many stories where the hero was able to communicate with animals,” Kaya said. “It was usually a sign that the person was meant to do something great.”
“Oh, it was, was it?” I mumbled. I was really tired of hearing about who I was meant to be, or what I was meant to do. As much as I didn’t want to hear it, though, I would have to remember to come back to the stories she mentioned later on, if I could. She may know something that would help me.
“How are you able to communicate with him?” Kaya asked.
“He sends images and feelings into my mind that show me what he wants me to know. I do the same back to him, although he seems to be much better at it than I am,” I said.
“How do you mean?” Kaya asked.
“I can only hear the thoughts he purposefully sends me, but he can usually hear every thought that runs through my mind. Actually, I’ve gotten so used to talking to him that the thoughts and images seem like words now. It really feels like we’re actually talking to each other,” I said.
“Amazing. Can I speak with him?”
“Not really. Talon told me that shaman can ask the animals for help, but they can’t ‘hear’ what the animals are saying back to them. I don’t know why, but Quaile couldn’t hear him either,” I said.
“How long have you been able to do this Uriah?” Kaya asked.
“Uh, three days,” I said. I didn’t say it, but I was sure, now, that I had been able to communicate with animals in some fashion since I was a child. I just never knew what was happening. The way animals calmed for me when they wouldn’t for anyone else, I always just thought I was better at handling them than others. It was kind of disappointing to realize something else, something I didn’t understand, was the reason I was so good with animals.
Kaya stared at me in disbelief. “Three days?”
“Yeah,” I said. “A lot has happened in the last three days.”
Folding her legs beneath her, Kaya settled herself on the grass next to a contented Talon. Kaya said, “I think you should tell me why you’re here.”
The sun continued its blazing path across the sky as I tried to explain the events of the past three days. I left out select details of Quaile’s betrayal, but covered everything else quickly. Better not to make her think I had a bad opinion of all shamans. It was only Quaile I wanted to lay into with every foul word I could think of.
Thankfully, Kaya listened without interrupting. I could tell she was bursting with questions, but she held them in until I finished my rambling explanation. I struggled to explain the things that had happened, but in most cases I fell extremely short. As many questions as Kaya asked, I felt confident that she could answer some of the questions still burning in my mind. But first, I needed to see the Shaxoa. Everything else could wait.
“Kaya, you see why I need to speak with the Shaxoa, don’t you?” I asked.
Finally, Kaya was quiet. “I guess I do, Uriah, but you have to understand why I don’t want you to see her.”
I nodded. “I do understand, Kaya, believe me. I don’t really want to see her, but I have to. I know it’s dangerous, but Claire is worth it, worth fighting for. You have to believe me.”<
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Kaya’s smile was kind. “I do understand, Uriah, and I will help you. I’m just scared of what you’ll find.”
“You’ll take me to see the Shaxoa?” I asked.
“Yes, I will.”
7: Small Cracks
My face was stuck to the fake leather of the photo album when I woke. I felt awful. I had to force my eyes open, even though I could feel the hot sun already warming the room. It had to be well into the morning. Taking a deep breath, the persistent pull of emotions washed over me and I longed for Daniel. Hugging the pillow to me in place of the blue-eyed boy I wanted, I was suddenly confused.
My pillow was not the usual blue, it was yellow. I sat up trying to figure out where I was and why Daniel was not with me. The small room swam before me for several long minutes before tears began to fill my eyes, clouding the view even more. I was still in Uriah’s room. I had woken up, in his bed, looking for Daniel. What was wrong with me?
It had only been one day, and I was already losing ground. How had I let myself slip so badly? Memories of Daniel’s face and touch kept trying to slip in past my horror, but I refused to let them tangle themselves in my mind any further.
Turning my face into the pillow, I breathed in the scent of Uriah. The mixture of smells calmed my mind. Alfalfa, sheep, the cologne I had given him, his shampoo. I picked apart the individual smells, each one a part of Uriah’s life. I wanted to stay wrapped in his blankets all day, but knowing that I was there alone instead of with Uriah, as I would have dreamed, I pushed the blanket away.
Swinging my legs over the side, they dangled just above the floor. My painted toenails stared back at me, waiting for the command to move. Resisting the urge to climb back into bed, I forced my feet to touch the floor and carry me to the small bathroom. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I blanched. I looked worse than before. It shouldn’t have been surprising. Even though I had slept half the morning away, I couldn’t force away the memory of my dreams. They had been torturous. Thoughts of Daniel, promises of a future more perfect than I could imagine, invaded every sweet memory and dream of Uriah. Touching my dark locks, I looked longingly at the shower.
I had no other clothes with me. I didn’t really mind wearing my jeans again. I usually wore each pair a few times before sending them off to be washed. I would be more than happy to borrow another of Uriah’s shirts, but I didn’t think I’d have much luck finding some fresh underwear anywhere in his dresser.
I would have to go home today. There was no way I would stay, not with my father there, and not when I was so desperate to immerse myself in reminders of my love for Uriah. I would simply gather a few personal necessities and leave. I had nothing to say to my dad, anyway. Still, I didn’t want to leave the house without having showered since Thursday morning.
Resigning myself to a clean body even without fresh clothes, I undressed quickly and slipped under the hot water. Steam filled the small room, wrapping around me, clouding my thoughts. Tilting my head down, I let the water run over my scalp, fanning my dark hair around my face. I took my time washing my hair and body, filling my mind with each scent that normally belonged to Uriah. I sighed when I realized I had nothing left to wash. Reluctantly, I stepped out of the shower and began putting my clothes back on, all except my shirt.
I searched Uriah’s closet for the smallest shirt I could find. His large t-shirts made wonderful pajamas, but they might get in the way while I helped Uriah’s mother. Toward the back of the closet I found a small cache of clothing Uriah couldn’t have possibly worn since he was ten or twelve years old. Removing one shirt from a hanger, I laughed.
The screen painted t-shirt was an old baseball jersey. Not the embroidered, button-down type he wore in high school, but the one piece style handed out to the peewee leagues. Uriah had only played baseball once before high school, when he was twelve years old. Bigger than most of the other kids his age, even then, the shirt looked like it would fit me.
Pulling it over my head, I smiled. The sleeves were too short, but it looked as if it had been designed that way. Uriah might have a hard time getting this back from me, I thought. How long would it be before he came back for it? That question forced my smile to turn down and disappear. Could I last long enough to have his gentle hands run down my cheek again? Refusing to dwell on such doubts, I forced the smile back onto my lips. He would be back, and he would love that I raided his closet.
Tucking the photo album I had slept with under Uriah’s pillow, I was at last ready to leave the room. In a better mood than I had any right to be, I hurried into the living room. Uriah’s mother was propped up in an armchair going through a stack of mail. Lina looked up at my arrival with a sweet smile. Her eyes looked weary. I doubted she had slept any better than I had last night.
“Good afternoon, sleepy head,” Sophia said when she stepped into the room. “I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to wake up.”
Afternoon? “Is it that late?” I asked.
Lina threw a withering look at Sophia before answering. “It’s one o’clock, Claire, but don’t worry about it for a second. You’ve been through a lot and needed the rest. I’m sure Sophia has something for you to eat in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”
“Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean to sleep so late.”
“There’s a mutton sandwich on the table for you,” Sophia said, her voice much softer than usual.
“Has Uriah called at all?” I asked quietly.
Lina’s lips pursed and her fingers seemed to falter. “No,” she said, “not yet.”
“He’ll call when and if he’s able,” Sophia said. Her stern expression made me wonder whether she had already had the same discussion with Uriah’s mother before I came into the room.
Lina’s face hardened as she fought to control her emotions. I wasn’t nearly so disciplined. Tears sprang to my eyes. Given his strange departure, I hadn’t really expected Uriah to want to speak with me right away. I knew I had hurt him badly by admitting that I might not be strong enough to resist the Twin Soul bond. I had been hoping that he would at least stay in contact with his mother, though.
Sophia’s firm hand grasped my shoulder. “Uriah has something important to do right now. It’s better if he stays focused. He’ll be home sooner if he does.”
I nodded. Sophia was right as usual. My whining would only keep Uriah from doing whatever he believed he had to do. I just hoped that he wouldn’t leave me to fight alone for too long. I needed his strength. Sophia’s hand fell away from my shoulder and gestured toward the kitchen.
Food. I should have been ravenous, but hunger was only a dull thought lost somewhere behind the longing desire for Uriah and the awful pull of the Twin Soul bond. Still, my body needed something. Managing an appreciative smile, I walked into the kitchen. A hearty sandwich sat waiting for me on the table.
I hardly tasted the meal as I ate. I knew that both Lina and Sophia were talented chefs, and I felt bad that their efforts were going to waste on me. I ate the meal quickly and was back in the living room after a few short minutes. I hadn’t forgotten my promise to help out wherever needed. I walked up to Uriah’s mother, my footsteps alerting her to my presence. She looked up at me with an expectant smile.
“Lina, is there anything I can do for you?” I asked, trying out her first name as she had requested. It felt strange on my lips, but her smile lightened my spirit.
“You really don’t need to worry about doing anything, Claire. It’s been a rough couple of days. Why don’t you just sit down and relax for a while?”
Normally, relaxing would have sounded wonderful. Normally, Uriah would have been around to enjoy it with me. Without Uriah to fill the empty hours, only my mind would be filled, not my arms.
“No, really, Mrs. Crowe, I want to help out. I promised Sophia I would,” I said. Lina opened her mouth to object, but I cut her off. “Besides, I need to do something to keep my mind off…” I didn’t want to utter his name. The more I thought of him the harder the
feelings were to hold back. “It would be better for me to keep busy,” I said finally.
Nodding with understanding, Lina considered my request. “Sophia has most of the housework under control already. Why don’t you go outside and see if Hale needs any help?”
“Hale?” I questioned.
“Hale Dinmore has been helping out with the animals since Uriah left. Sophia says he’s been doing a good job, but it’s a lot of work for just one person,” Lina said. “I’m sure he’d appreciate the help.”
“Of course,” I said quickly. I didn’t know very much about sheep or crops two years ago, but Uriah had taught me a lot about what it took to run his ranch since then. I had always thought that it was because he was as sure I was that one day we would work the ranch together as husband and wife. The thought of feeding Uriah’s animals with Hale Dinmore was horribly depressing, but I wouldn’t let Lina down.
“Sophia said she would take you over to your parent’s house before dinner to get whatever you need,” Lina said.
I noticed that she had said “your parent’s house”, not “your house” or “home.” Lina wanted me here. Her careful demeanor made it seem like she was perfectly fine, but I could recognize the small cracks in her calm. Uriah had always marveled at how well his mother was able to handle everything that had happened to their family in the past year and a half, but she was very careful not to show how much she was really hurting around him.
A few months after Uriah’s father had died, things seemed to be getting back to normal, even though Uriah was still struggling with his grief and his new responsibilities to his mom and the ranch. He had looked to his mom for an example of how to move on with his life. She went through her days with a tempered smile, but she didn’t shy away from talking about her husband or reminding Uriah of the things he had taught him. Uriah believed that his mother had already come to peace with losing her husband, and did his best to follow her lead.
I had been out helping Uriah with a few chores, but hurried back to the house to use the restroom. So comfortable at Uriah’s house, I hadn’t bothered to knock before bursting into the living room. I was shocked to find Lina sitting on the couch sobbing. Thinking that something awful had happened, I rushed to her side.
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