Glancing down at her watch, she elected to shorten her run and head back home to get more work done. Seeing her townhouse in the distance, Jerrica slowed her pace for a cool down period. She figured by the time she reached the front door, her pulse should be close to normal. With her schedule mentally in place, she smiled at the orderliness. Once in the house, she headed for the shower to cool off.
“Hello? Hello,” she yelled into the annoyingly ringing phone.
“There is no need to yell, Jerrica, I can hear you just fine,” said the voice on the other end.
“Katherine! I’m sorry. I had to hunt down my cell phone. I think the kitten was playing with it. You’re lucky you caught me at all, I was just about to get in the shower,” Jerrica said as she sat on the edge of her bed.
“I’m going to be up in your area today and I thought maybe we could catch some lunch, if you’re up to visiting.”
“That would be wonderful, when and where?”
“How about eleven forty-five at our favorite restaurant?”
“Eleven forty-five sounds great, so I’ll see you there,” she said smiling as she disconnected the call.
“Well, I had better hustle a little if I’m going to make it on time,” she told herself.
Once in the shower, Jerrica realized her well-constructed plan was now out the window and she would have to re-evaluate the rest of the day once she returned home. Tossing on her favorite pair of jeans and a light yellow sweater, she walked toward the living room to grab shoes.
“Ah hell, let’s live a little,” she said, grabbing her high-heeled, calf-high motorcycle boots and sliding them on.
These boots gave her an additional inch in height and just having them on made her feel sexier somehow. The boot made her almost as tall as Katherine. She knew it was just lunch with a friend, but it had been so long since she felt sexy, she needed it, even if it was just through a pair of boots.
†
Jerrica pulled around the back of the restaurant to park, seeing that Katherine’s car was already there. The car was empty so she assumed Katherine was inside. Jerrica stood under the entrance sign for the Starboard Gallery Restaurant. Keys and cell in left hand, wallet with ID in back pocket, she had everything. When she first entered, she viewed the room for her friend. Not seeing her anywhere, she decided to walk through the dining area. After circling the tables a couple times, Jerrica recognized a voice calling her name. She spotted Katherine a few tables behind where she was standing, trying to get her attention. Jerrica acknowledged her friend, walking in her direction.
With a big smile and open arms, Katherine enfolded Jerrica in a huge embrace. Before Katherine let her go, she kissed her on the cheek. They both smiled at one another, then sat down to talk. The server took their orders for drinks and an appetizer, and then disappeared quickly. When the table had settled down to just the two of them, Katherine asked her. “So, my friend, how have you been?”
“I have been doing great. Job is good. House is fine,” Jerrica, said trying to sound upbeat.
Katherine tilted her head to the side, questioning the quick response with her eyes.
“How are your parents?” she asked. “Do you even know?”
“If you came all this way to give me a guilt trip, you can turn around and go home,” Jerrica commented harshly.
“I’m not here to give you a guilt trip. I happened to run into your mom the other day and she told me she hadn’t heard from you in a while. Then I started thinking that I hadn’t heard from you either. I started to worry,” Katherine said, as the server appeared with their food and drinks. She disappeared again just as quickly.
“Katherine, we’ve known one another for a long time now and you should know that if there was anything wrong, I would call you.”
The table went silent as Jerrica sipped on her drink and Katherine took some of the appetizer.
“I have my doubts you would,” Katherine answered finally.
Jerrica heard the disappointment in her voice. “When my marriage was breaking up, who did I tell first?”
“You told me. I know that. You’ve vanished from your family and your friends in New Hampshire. I know you better than you know yourself, Jerrica. You’re worrying me.” Katherine reached out to hold Jerrica’s folded hands.
Jerrica wanted to slide her hands away, but knew Katherine was right. She was hiding something. Jerrica closed her eyes, considering if she should tell Katherine the truth.
Katherine rubbed her thumb on the back of Jerrica’s hand. “Tell me….”
Jerrica began unfolding her tale, starting with Devin, the fact that she was working from home now and her confusion about Madison. She admitted to herself and to Katherine that she felt misplaced in her own life.
Katherine listened closely to her friend’s troubles. Being the understanding friend, she spoke calmly. “I won’t offer you advice. What I can offer you is my honest opinion, if you want to hear it.”
Jerrica wasn’t sure she was ready for one of Katherine’s honest opinion speeches. They had been friends since they were in grade school and even though they were the same age, Katherine always seemed mature beyond her years. After graduation, they had split ways. Katherine attended the University of California at Santa Cruz and then went off to Stanford University of Medicine to be a doctor. She was now working on her last year of residency at a top New Hampshire Hospital. Engaged for two years now, her fiancé wanted to hold off getting married until she finished her residency. Katherine had always known she wanted to help people, so she chose medicine for her career.
Jerrica smiled at the memory of them as children. In some small way, Jerrica envied her for designing a plan for her future and staying with something she loved doing.
“What are you thinking? You spaced out of the conversation,” Katherine asked as she saw a hint of a smile on Jerrica’s face.
“I was just remembering our childhood together,” Jerrica said with a doubtful smile. “Okay, doc, give it to me straight. I can take the pain.”
“All right…I have supported you in every decision you’ve made. I stood by you during your divorce. I was the one who helped you come out to your parents. We have been through many things together, Jerrica, but I honestly do not know how I can help you this time. I think this Devin person is just trying to jerk you around. And about your problems with work, I think it’s time to decide if this is going to be your career. You’re still young enough to switch careers without too much trouble,” she added, pausing to sip her drink. “Now…this thing with Madison. You told me that you weren’t sure how you feel for her. My friend, if you think you love this woman, you need to find out. I’m not saying jump in the sack again right away, but take your time to get to know one another. Sex fades, sweetheart, you need to find out if there is something else between the two of you.”
Jerrica knew she was right. Katherine was always right.
“You need to face your demons, Jerrica. You need to face Madison. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to move forward.”
“So,” Jerrica tried to change the subject. “How’s the job and hubby?”
Katherine frowned at her friend. “Nice way of changing the subject, Jerrica. Patrick and I are not married yet, remember? There are no immediate plans to change that situation. Oh, and the hospital experience…loving it!”
Jerrica’s smile grew bigger at her friends answer. “I know you’re not married yet, I just like to tease you about this long engagement.”
Katherine made a silly face at Jerrica’s comment, causing Jerrica to burst out laughing. We’re quite a pair, Jerrica thought.
Katherine glanced at her watch. “Sorry to say this, but I have to go soon. I have an appointment at two with a representative from Anna Jacques Hospital. That’s actually why I was going to be in your area today.”
“I thought you were still doing your residency?”
“I have less than a year to finish. I’m keeping my options open,” Katherine sa
id as she fiddled for something in her purse.
“Does Patrick know that’s why you’re here today?”
“As a matter of fact, he doesn’t. He doesn’t control my career, Jerrica. He’ll respect my decision if I choose to move to a different hospital than where he practices. Lunch is on me.”
Jerrica watched as she waved down the server giving her eighty dollars without even looking at the bill, telling her to keep the change. Walking arm in arm back to the parking lot, the two women bantered back and forth about silly things, trying to end their visit on a positive note.
“Don’t forget to call your parents,” Katherine ordered as she pulled out of the parking lot.
Back at home, Jerrica set up her computer on the table with her files spread out in front of her. She had changed into her sleepy shorts and tank to be comfortable while working. She closed all the blinds so she could get some work done and not daydream. Stretching her arm, she grabbed the first folder. The rest of her exciting day was spent going through each new client’s information. She paused only twice. Once to feed the cats, the second for her needs. When the pile started to dwindle down to just a couple of folders, she glanced at her cell phone for the time. It was midnight. What had happened to her Saturday? She had totally lost track of time.
Saving her work, she closed the computer. Standing up stiffly, she reached for the ceiling, stretching her aching body. She switched lights off as she exited the downstairs, then Jerrica headed straight for bed. She seemed very tired all of a sudden. She flopped on the bed, quickly falling into a much needed slumber.
Chapter Twelve
The loud pounding noise startled Jerrica from sleep. She sat motionless in the dark, wondering if she had heard something or just dreamt it. A few seconds went by in silence. Figuring it was just part of her dream, she started to lie back down. Inches before her head hit the pillow, the doorbell echoed through the house. Glancing at her nightstand, the clock read 2:45 a.m.
Who, the hell could that be? she wondered.
Tossing the covers off and grabbing her glasses, she exited the room with her baseball bat in hand, heading for the front door. Reaching the foyer, she clicked on the outside light and looked out the peephole. Gasping in surprise, she stepped back.
“Jerrica, could you please let me in?”
Jerrica stood frozen, not knowing what to do. She felt the blood drain from her body.
“Please, Jerrica, let me in. We need to talk.”
“How did you find out where I live?”
“I’ll explain everything to you if you just let me in. It’s kind of cold out here.”
Jerrica set the bat down, numbly reached for the deadbolt, and unlocked it. Unsure of what she was doing, she put her hand on the doorknob and pulled the door open.
Madison walked passed Jerrica, rubbing her biceps to diminish the cold.
Jerrica inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume. The foyer light was the only illumination in the downstairs, but Jerrica could still distinguish the worn shape hugging blue jeans that accentuated every curve and a very complimenting form-fitted long-sleeve blue shirt.
“Let me get some lights on in here,” Jerrica choked as she closed the door, rushing past Madison to click on the other lights.
With multiple fixtures lighting the rooms, Jerrica turned back to her visitor, “Please have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”
Madison glanced around Jerrica’s home, amazed at the surroundings.
When she didn’t answer, Jerrica stepped closer, repeating softly. “Madison, please come in and have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”
Madison managed a smile and a nod as Jerrica motioned her toward the front room. Jerrica entered the kitchen.
Madison was overwhelmed as Jerrica’s private world engulfed her. She traveled by the open concept kitchen, glancing at what looked like a family portrait wall. She wanted to stop to examine the beautiful faces, but wasn’t sure she had the right to enter her personal space that way.
Following the flow of lights, she entered what she thought could be the living room. The walls were a light neutral color, but in this light, Madison wasn’t sure the exact color. There was a row of floor-to-ceiling curtains along the length of the wall in front of her. Everywhere she looked, she saw expressions of Jerrica, from the mismatched throw pillows on the tan couch to the exquisite painting of the mountains that hung above the fireplace. There was a mahogany coffee table in front of the couch with two wood accented recliners set parallel to the couch. Most of the furniture seemed modern and fresh. This was Jerrica’s world and she could see how everything seemed to fit.
Where do I fit? Madison wondered as she made her way to the couch, sitting just as Jerrica handed her a glass of liquid. Madison examined the contents as Jerrica sat across from her.
“It’s just water, ice with a slice of lemon. I didn’t know what else to serve.”
Jerrica watched Madison bring the glass to her lips. Those lips…what those lips can do to her.
Madison watched the blush develop on Jerrica’s face and smiled. Madison took in the full vision that was Jerrica Kerrison, above the rim of her glass. From her semi-tussled hair, to the arousing look of her in glasses, to the tank top and boxer short set, she filled out extremely well.
“So, Madison, why are you here at this hour?” she said, trying to get the conversation started.
Madison set her glass down in front of her. Her gaze met Jerrica’s as she spoke just above a whisper, “I needed to talk to you. I know it’s doesn’t really mean anything now that you’re with someone else and that there is no place for me in your life, but I need to know what happened to you…to us. You just disappeared after...that night.”
“Back up a little. What do you mean, someone else?”
Madison eyes couldn’t conceal her sadness as she continued. “I was in town earlier today and happened to see you entering a restaurant. I watched as you met with another woman. The way you looked at her, I could tell the two of you have chemistry.”
Madison tried holding back her sigh, but to her dismay, her aching heart pushed it out anyway.
Remembering the events of the day, Jerrica shook her head, clarifying. “Yes, she and I do have chemistry.”
Madison heart sank as she took in Jerrica’s words.
“Her name is Katherine. She is my oldest and dearest friend. But she is just my friend.”
Jerrica watched Madison’s spirits lift a little with this new revelation, but it was short lived.
She again pressed on the original subject Jerrica was avoiding. “Then, if it’s not someone else, then what? Talk to me, Jerrica. I can’t stand it anymore—not knowing what happened…”
Jerrica lowered her head to stare at the glass resting on her knee. “What do you want to talk about? So much happened that night,” she asked trying to buy herself some time.
Becoming extremely nervous, Madison slid to the edge of the couch. “What happened with you, Jerrica? Why did you let me take you home, take you to my bed, and then disappear without saying a word? Did you even consider how I would feel when I woke up the next morning alone?” Madison was fighting to keep her emotions in check.
Jerrica swished the ice cubes around, searching for a response that would satisfy Madison.
Madison wanted so much to jump up and hold her, to go back to that night when it was just the two of them. Watching Jerrica fight with her emotions was too much for Madison to bear. Standing, Madison turned to leave.
Seeing the sudden movement reflecting in her glass, Jerrica stood and grabbed Madison’s arm. “Please don’t go.”
The contact sent a shock of excitement flooding through their bodies. Staring at the hand on her arm, Madison stood motionless. With eyes focused on the warm hand touching her, Madison spoke gently. “You feel that, don’t you?”
Madison watched as the warm hand slid up her forearm onto her bicep before pulling away. The excitement that had begun when they touched lingere
d when contact was broken.
“Please stay,” Jerrica whispered.
Seated back on the couch, Madison watched Jerrica returned to her chair, placing her glass on the corner of the table. Jerrica’s chest nervously expanded with an intake of air then slowly, cautiously released it. “I was hoping that this conversation wouldn’t happen,” Jerrica commented honestly.
“What do you mean by hoping this wouldn’t happen?”
“Being confronted when I don’t have clear answers for you.” she said, looking at her hands in her lap. “I thought if I gave us some distance, you would forget about that night, forget about me. You’re a beautiful woman, Madison, and you can easily find someone else. I mean it was just sex, right.”
Is that what Jerrica thought it was, just sex? That can’t be true. Madison could feel the panic rising. Regaining enough composure, she left the couch, walking to stand in front of Jerrica. Kneeling to face her, she enfolded her hands around Jerrica’s trembling ones.
Jerrica absorbed the warmth and electricity from Madison’s touch, but couldn’t look directly at her.
“Tell me you don’t feel something every time we touch. Tell me your heart doesn’t skip a beat whenever you look at me. Tell me that our night together was only sex to you.” Madison let out a ragged breath, “If you can look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you feel nothing and that our night meant nothing, then I’ll go, putting us in the past, and—”
Emotion overtook Madison, her throat constricted and moisture clouded her vision.
†
The sudden drop in conversation prompted Jerrica to lift her head. She could see the pain just behind the settling tears, but as she looked beyond the raw pain, she saw a woman that was offering her more than just one night of sex. Jerrica reached out, brushing a stray tear from Madison’s cheek.
Finding Her Way Page 17