by Gemma Weir
A laugh bursts from me, and Brandi turns in question, so I show her the message. She laughs. “You need to call home, baby girl, let them know what happened,” she says, as she rubs my shoulder.
Sobering, I nod. “I’m not sure where my parents are, but James is going to lose his mind. He’s going to want to come here, or for me to go home.”
She hands me a cup of camomile tea and lifts her own to her lips, blowing at the steam that billows from it. “What do you want to do, Liv?”
I tip my head back and pull in a breath. “I want Echo.”
Brandi smiles warmly then steps back. “Well then, you call your friend, tell him what happened. Then you tell them that the big bad biker you love and your friends here are taking real good care of you,” she says with a smile.
Feeling brave, I excuse myself and walk into the garden. I sit down on one of the chairs on the back patio and dial his number. The phone rings out for a few minutes before James answers. “Hey Liv,” he says brightly.
“Hey.”
“What’s happened, what’s wrong?” James asks quickly. He can tell just from my voice that something’s happened. I pause, silently steeling myself to tell him. “Liv, I’m freaking out here. What the hell’s going on?” he shouts, his voice filled with concern.
I pull in a deep breath and speak quietly. “Something happened.”
“Was it that fucking biker, Liv, because I swear to God, I’ll beat the shit out of him if he did something to hurt you,” James explodes.
“No, never. Echo would never hurt me. Something else happened,” I quickly blurt out.
“Fuck, are you pregnant?” James says.
“What? No!” I shout. Then I inhale deeply, exhale, and say. “I don’t really know how to say this. I was attacked.”
Silence.
“Are you still there?” I ask.
“Yep, I’m booking flights. I can get a direct flight to Houston, and I’ll be with you by tomorrow night. Can you get to the airport?” James asks, his voice filled with emotion.
“Sweetie, I’m fine. You don’t need to come here,” I say, tears pooling in my eyes.
James scoffs. “Liv, you’re daft if you think I’m not coming to get you.”
“James, I’m fine. I’m out of hospital, and it’s just bruises left,” I assure him.
“Hospital!” he roars. “Right, I’m booking it now.”
“No, James, honestly, don’t come. Echo and my friends here are taking care of me. I’m fine.”
“What happened, sweetie? Oh fuck, did someone rape you? Please don’t say you were raped.” His voice trembles.
“No, no, I wasn’t raped, I promise.” My voice cracks.
“So what happened?”
“I met this guy, Wyatt, and he asked me out. It was his aunt who owned the guesthouse I was staying at. Anyway, he was a dick and the date didn’t go well, so I was leaving when Echo turned up and went all alpha on him. I hadn’t seen him since, not once in weeks. Then I got home the other day and he and his aunt kidnapped me. It was all kinds of fucked up. They beat me up pretty bad. But Echo and Gus, the guy from across the street who comes into the bar, they saved me. He’s dead, the guy who attacked me. Gus killed him,” I say. Tears stream down my face.
Even though I wish James were here right now, I’m not ready to leave Echo. James is my oldest friend, but he wouldn’t understand why I need to stay.
“Fucking hell, Liv. Be honest, are you okay?”
I clear my throat and try to sound as okay as possible. “I’m fine. I mean, I’m not, obviously I’m not fine, but I’m going to be okay.”
“I really want to come get you, Liv. I need to see that you’re all right.”
“I know you do, but I have Echo, and he’s looking after me,” I say, desperately wanting, needing to reassure James that I’m safe and cared for.
“Is he there? I want to speak to him.”
I balk. “Er, no, he’s not here. He had to pop out.”
James voice hardens. “Sounds like he’s taking great care of you, Liv, leaving you alone.”
“I’m not alone,” I say quickly. “He had Brandi and her husband, Sleaze, come stay with me while he went out.”
“Oh, yeah, well I suppose that’s okay,” James reluctantly concedes.
“It is, it’s fine.”
I hear James’s anguished sigh. “I want you to FaceTime me, Liv, not once a week, but every day. If not, then I’m coming to get you. I don’t care what you say, sweetie.”
“Okay, I’ll FaceTime you starting tomorrow. I promise, if I need you, I’ll ask you to come, or I’ll come home. But this is where I need to be right now, okay?”
I can hear how unconvinced James is when he finally speaks. “Okay. I love you, Liv. Thank God you’re okay.”
“Love you too, speak tomorrow,” I say, then cut off the phone. I hold it in my hand and breathe out a sigh of relief. I pull up the photos of my friends back home and feel torn. A part of me wants to go home. James and Dan would look after me, or my mum and dad would come home. But my chest hurts just thinking about leaving Echo; we don’t have that much time left together, and I want to make the most of every moment.
I just wish I was still sure Echo felt the same way.
My bruises are almost gone; the vivid purple has faded to sickly yellow. Soon there’ll be nothing left to say that I was attacked. Small scars mar my arms, stomach, and legs, but the plastic surgeon assures me they’ll fade with time.
Wyatt and Mimi fill my unconscious mind. If I fall asleep alone, I fight for my life every night until Echo crawls into our bed and protects me from my nightmares. His touch shelters me, and I sleep dreamlessly until he leaves every morning and the dreams wake me up soaked in sweat and screaming.
Weeks have passed since the day everything changed. I feel caged in this house, living with the man I love who’s become a stranger.
Brandi’s been my sanity; at Strikers or here, she listens to me babble and vent. “Liv, sweetheart, it’s only been a few weeks. Just give him some time,” she says.
“I can’t do this anymore. He doesn’t want me here, he just hasn’t got the balls to tell me to go.”
Brandi scoffs. “That’s ridiculous. The man’s obsessed with you. He loves you.”
“Brandi, he hasn’t touched me in over a month. We don’t sleep together. We don’t kiss. He’s more like my jailer than my boyfriend. He’s gone from sexy controlling to insane controlling.”
Brandi rolls her eyes. “Liv, you’re being dramatic.”
“I’m not,” I say and throw my hands in the air in frustration. “I haven’t had a minute’s privacy since the day I came back from the hospital. He’s never here, but he sends you and Sleaze or Smoke or Daisy to babysit me. Puck and Blade were even here the other day. He doesn’t want to be around me, so he’s palming me off on anyone he can.”
“Liv,” Brandi says doubtfully.
I turn my eyes at her imploringly. “Brandi, I wish it wasn’t true. But it is. I don’t want to leave, the thought of never seeing Echo again makes me feel like I can’t breathe. But with the way things are between us, I think leaving’s the best thing for both of us.”
Her arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me in for a tight hug. “I don’t want you to leave, Liv. You’re my best friend,” she says quietly.
Tears pool in my eyes. “I feel the same way. I’m really going to miss you,” I say, sniffling.
Dropping her arms, she moves back. “So don’t go. I don’t want you to go and I promise you Echo doesn’t want you to go. If you leave, you’ll regret it.”
I slump onto the sofa. “I can’t live like this anymore, Brandi. He used to constantly have his hands on me, and the sex was out of this world, but now he doesn’t touch me. He holds my hand and strokes my hair, but that’s as intimate as we’ve been since the attack. To start off, I was okay with it. I hurt and I was still a bit freaked and he always cuddled me as I slept, but that’s stopped too now.”
Brandi sits silent, her eyes wide with shock.
“He doesn’t want me anymore, but he’s more jealous than usual. If I’m working, he sits at the bar intimidating anyone who looks at me the wrong way. It’s like he doesn’t want me but no one else can have me either.”
Sympathy floods her eyes. “Have you tried talking to him about it?”
Defeated, I slump onto the sofa, my head in my hands. “I’ve tried asking him what’s going on, but he evades my questions. He says I’m still delicate and need more time to fully recover.”
Her arms surround me, and she pulls me into a tight hug. “Oh Liv, I had no idea things were this bad.”
I cry silent tears against her shoulder. “I can’t do this for much longer. The pretence is exhausting. I’m not running, but I need to get away from him and give us both a chance to move on with our lives. I just need to figure out how I’m going to leave.”
I keep letting her down. She got attacked because I didn’t protect her.
I don’t deserve her.
I crave her in my arms, but I need to earn the right to claim her again, prove to her that I can look after her for the rest of our lives better than I’ve done since we met.
I’m a fucking pussy.
She’s slipping away from me, but I can’t seem to pull my head from my ass long enough to make things better.
The need to protect her at all costs is consuming me. The police think Wyatt and Mimi assaulted and killed five other girls, all of them beaten, drained of blood, and buried in the clearing in the woods. Even though her bruises are almost gone, every time I look at her I see her strapped to that table, bleeding and unconscious.
The guilt’s eating me alive. Wyatt’s dead, but I still feel like I let her down.
I’m searching for Mimi. The insane old bitch has disappeared, but I’m determined to find her. No one can hide forever, and the sooner she’s found and either dead or locked in a prison cell, the sooner Livvy will finally be safe.
Maybe then I can claim her again.
I don’t deserve her love, but I fucking crave it. I’m a walking hard-on, and it gets harder and harder not to take her every moment I’m near her. But I haven’t earned her back yet.
I’m her man, and it’s my job to protect her. I failed, and she was attacked because of it. I’m hurting her and she’s angry at me, but she needs to be safe above everything else. I can’t touch her anymore, but my hands itch to hold her and bring her pleasure. I can sense her arousal whenever I’m near her, and it’s intoxicating. She’s like a drug to me.
But I don’t touch her.
She was almost raped because I didn’t protect her like I should.
I failed.
Echo left two days ago. He texted me to say that he was busy with the club, but I know he’s avoiding me.
Daisy’s on babysitting duty. I walk from the living room into the kitchen, and Daisy’s quiet presence lurks behind me. I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and walk to the patio with my biker shadow a few paces behind me. Anger bubbles to the surface, and spinning to face Daisy, I scream, “Stop fucking following me!”
His impassive expression infuriates me.
“Speak. Say something, for fuck’s sake,” I yell at him. I know he hears me, but he refuses to respond. Raking my hands through my hair, I tip my head back and scoff quietly to myself. “I can’t do this anymore,” I whisper and shake my head as tears fill my eyes.
I stomp past Daisy and into the living room just as the door opens and Echo strides in. His face is etched with intensity, and my pussy clenches in response. Daisy passes me, shaking hands with Echo on his way out.
A suffocating silence descends around us.
“Where’ve you been?” I ask, then wince. I’ve become the clichéd nagging wife, and I hate myself for it. He looks up but doesn’t speak, walking past me into the kitchen. His shoulders are slumped and defeated. The intense glint in his eyes is the only promise that the Echo I knew before the attack still lurks inside him.
Guilt overwhelms me; I did this to him. “Echo, we need to talk.”
His back stiffens. “Not tonight, Liv, I’m beat,” he says, his voice strained.
Tempted to stay silent, I pull in a deep breath and straighten, buoying myself to speak. “I can’t do this anymore, Echo.”
He spins round, anger morphing his face. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he snaps.
Shocked by his outrage, I step back. “I can’t keep doing this. It’s obvious you don’t want me here.”
“You’re my woman, of course I want you here,” he shouts.
I sigh. “You haven’t touched me in weeks. You avoid me as much as you can, and you pawn me off on babysitters who follow me round all the time. It’s ridiculous, and I can’t do it anymore.”
His eyes widen and a hint of my alpha man flashes back at me. “What are you saying, Olivia?” His words are slow and full of warning.
I take a deep breath and force the words out. “I’m saying you need to let me go.”
Anger flares in his eyes. “Never, I’ll never let you go,” he growls.
“Arrrrr,” I scream. “I’m not a toy that you get to play with when you choose and then ignore the rest of the time.” He scoffs at my words but doesn’t respond. “I refuse to be babysat all the time. Wyatt’s dead and Mimi has disappeared. They can’t hurt me again, and I refuse to be a victim anymore,” I shout.
Echo pulls in short, angry breaths. His anger’s barely held, his voice stern and unyeilding. “I didn’t protect you once, Livvy. I refuse to let that happen again. Mimi is still out there, and until she’s found, you will have someone with you at all times. You are mine and you will do as I fucking say. Do you understand?”
Stunned, I stare at him. “I don’t even know how to start to respond to that. I refuse to be followed permanently. That’s absurd. And Wyatt and Mimi going crazy and trying to kill me wasn’t because you didn’t protect me. It’s because they’re freaking nutjobs.”
His expression is guarded, but his hands go to his hair, pulling the strands as he shakes his head. “Echo, me being attacked wasn’t your fault.” He turns his face away and refuses to acknowledge me. I grasp his face between my hands and force him to look at me. “It happened because Wyatt and Mimi are ill. They lost the plot, and I got caught in the fallout, but that has nothing to do with you,” I say passionately, desperately hoping that he will believe me.
Moments pass as I silently wait for him. His head lifts, and he looks at me. Really looks at me for the first time in days. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him, desperately willing him to kiss me back, and my heart breaks when he firmly moves me away from him.
His head drops, his voice gravelly and rough. “I love you, Livvy, but it’s my job to keep you safe. He hurt you because I allowed that to happen. I should have protected you and made sure no one could hurt you. I failed you.”
Tears run down my face as I shake my head. “Do you think this is my fault? I encouraged him. I went out on a date with him.”
Echo grabs my chin, and I feel the anger vibrating from him. “Don’t be fucking stupid, of course this isn’t your fault,” he snarls.
Wrapping my hands around his forearms, I nod. “Exactly. I know I’m not to blame, but neither are you. This isn’t your fault.”
He turns his back to me and shuts me out.
I’ve lost him. He’s so blinded by misplaced guilt that n
othing I say or do will make a difference now.
Staggering upstairs, I rush to the bathroom and turn on the shower before my legs give way and I sink to the floor. The water drowns out the sound of my sobs. As I shake uncontrollably, I pull my knees to my chest and rock backwards and forwards, consumed by grief.
I’m toxic to Echo, and it’s time to let him go.
Wiping the tears from my face, I turn off the shower and walk back into the bedroom to find my phone. My hands shake as I dial Brandi. She answers immediately. “Hey doll, you okay?”
The words catch in my throat. “I need your help.”
I hear Brandi’s intake of air. “Anything, just name it,” she instantly replies.
“I’m leaving him,” I whisper.
I lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. The plan’s in place, and tomorrow night I won’t be here in this bed or in this town. I’m going to leave the man I love. I always knew that eventually I’d have to, but rubbing my chest, my heart physically hurts, like deciding to leave has finally split it in two.
Unable to stay still, I throw off the covers and slide out of bed. Echo never comes to bed till after I’m asleep, but I can’t sleep with him even for a couple of hours knowing that it will be the last time I ever do it.
I head downstairs. It’s dark outside, but I see the orange glow of his cigarette and the silhouette of his broad shoulders sitting by the pool. I grab a blanket and curl up in one of the BarkaLoungers, pulling the warm fleece tightly around me. Silent tears fall, staining my cheeks. The TV murmurs quietly in the background, finally lulling me to sleep.
Strong arms curl under me, lifting me from the chair and hoisting me against a warm chest. I can’t see him in the blackness, but his familiar scent surrounds me, and I burrow into him as he carries me up the stairs and gently places me in the bed. The sheets are cold against my skin, and I roll towards the wall, expecting him to leave, but the mattress depresses and Echo’s warmth settles against my back.
Fuck!