by Trish Milburn - The Texan's Cowgirl Bride (Texas Rodeo Barons)
“I don’t have a dog.”
“Smart-ass, you know what I mean. Spill. Wait, did you hear from the doctor?”
Savannah nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s not cancer.”
“That’s awesome! When did you find out?”
“This morning.”
“And you didn’t tell me? What the hell?”
Savannah looked out the window, as if that would make Travis appear. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been so preoccupied today.”
“Too preoccupied to tell me that I don’t have to worry about you anymore?”
She shifted her attention back to Carly. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“I know you didn’t. So if you got good medical news and Dad is off your back about the store, this has to do with Travis, doesn’t it? You two didn’t break up, did you?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. I just haven’t been able to get in touch with him today.”
“Maybe he’s busy on a case.”
Savannah sighed. “He knew I was getting the news today.” She explained about the voice mail she’d received before he left the night before. “I think maybe it spooked him more than he wanted to admit. I can’t blame him for not wanting to go through again what he did when Corinne was killed.”
“But this isn’t the same thing, even if it had been cancer.”
“Loss does strange things to people.”
“Yeah, well, I’m going to do butt-kicking things to a certain person if he abandoned you right when you needed him most.”
Savannah reached across the table and placed her hand on Carly’s. “No. Thank you for your support, but we’ll work this out. Or we won’t.”
She tried not to jump to conclusions. But as the hours passed with no word from Travis, her heart sank more and more. While part of her truly did understand why he would want to protect himself, she couldn’t help the anger that started to build within her. Why had he led her to believe he cared only to leave? Especially when he knew how badly it had hurt her when her mother did the same thing.
If Travis and she really were over, thank God she still had the Peach Pit. Because single-minded focus was how she’d handled her mother leaving, even if she hadn’t realized it at the time. From that point, her life had revolved around getting good grades and being a champion barrel racer. She’d needed to be good enough that no one would ever leave her again.
Fat lot of good that had done her.
* * *
TRAVIS SEARCHED THROUGH all the files on his desk, growing more frustrated by the second. “Blossom, where’s the Brinkman case file?”
“In your filing cabinet,” she called back.
“No, it’s not. I just looked.”
A moment later, Blossom stalked into his office, went to the filing cabinet and pulled out a file. She spun and crossed to his desk, then shoved the file at him.
When he met her gaze, he noticed her tight expression. “What’s with you?”
“My boss has been an ass the past week.”
Travis paused as he grabbed the folder. “No, I haven’t.”
She lifted a brow. “Yes, you have. I work here because it’s interesting and you’re a good boss. I’ve had jerk bosses before, so I don’t need another one.”
Travis let the file folder drop to his desk and sank into his chair. “Have I really been that bad?”
He’d been alternating between hating David Crouch and himself for days, but he hadn’t realized he’d been taking it out on Blossom.
“Yes, you have.” Blossom leaned against the edge of his desk. “I understand that Mrs. Crouch’s visit threw you for a loop, but that’s not all that’s bothering you.”
“So you’re a mind reader now?”
“You’re not that hard to read. You miss Savannah, and for some reason you’ve cut off ties to her.”
“I never said that.”
“Again, not that hard to read.”
Travis sighed. “I thought I could handle being in a relationship again, but seeing Mrs. Crouch showed me I’m not.”
“Because you’re still in love with Corinne?”
He thought about that question for a moment before shaking his head. “I can’t go through losing someone like that again.”
“So you’re going to avoid women for the rest of your life?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“Not to be insensitive, but that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
Travis was used to Blossom speaking her mind, but she’d never been cruel.
“Don’t look at me that way,” she said. “I’m not saying that the fear of being hurt is invalid. We all live with that every day. It’s part of our genetic code or something. But you know what? We go out and live our lives anyway. And if you’re not going to fully live yours, that’s not fair to Corinne.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Because she didn’t get to live her life to its full potential. You do.”
Her words hit him straight in the heart.
“And what about Savannah? She’s experienced hurt and betrayal before. How do you think she’s feeling right now that you dropped off the radar?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he said.
“Well, I’m going to bet you did. And I don’t blame her if she’s ticked off at you.” Blossom placed her hand atop his. “You and Corinne got a really raw deal, no doubt about it. But if you don’t grab every chance at happiness that life has to offer and enjoy it despite the fear, you might as well have died that day, too.”
She stood and headed toward the door.
“Blossom?”
He stared at her for a moment, not knowing what to say.
“Are you about to fire me? I’m okay with that because all that needed to be said, and most people are chicken to hand out the tough love.”
Part of him was angry that she was forcing him to face his biggest fear, losing someone else he loved. But as he stared at the absolute certainty in her expression, he knew she was right. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Does that mean I still have a job?”
He managed a smile. “Yes. I’m never letting you go.”
“Ha! I let you keep me.” With that she headed back to her desk and the ringing phone.
Could he do it? Let go of the anger and fear that had ruled him for so long?
Travis opened the desk drawer where he’d stashed David Crouch’s letter. He’d nearly burned it at least a dozen times, but something had stopped him. He looked down at the letter again, rereading every word. He hated to admit it, but he felt the truth of the apology. David Crouch truly had been sorry, had been haunted by what he’d done, so much so that he’d taken his own life.
The tragedy of the entire situation made Blossom’s words burn brighter. Suddenly, Travis wanted to grab onto life with both hands and not let go, to live it to the absolute fullest. He might not have been able to prevent Corinne’s death, but he could live a life that honored her. But would fate allow that? Or had his hate doomed him to nothing but more pain? He almost called Savannah, but that would have to wait a little longer. He had something else to do first.
* * *
AS THE DAYS PASSED, Savannah continued working on the peach festival and even fleshed out some of the other ideas from the master list she and Travis had drafted that night at Amos’s. She investigated all the ins and outs for setting up an online store, thinking about how it could be a big moneymaker during the holidays. When she was tired of sitting, she went back to the kitchen and set about preparing a new peach tart recipe. She had to stay busy or she would dissolve into tears as she had more than once over the past week. A week without word of any kind from Travis.
It was almost dark when someone knocked on t
he front door, startling her. When she looked up and saw that it was Travis, her heart leaped. She wanted to race to the door and into his arms, but another part of her wanted to ignore him. She compromised and forced herself to walk slowly toward the door.
“Hello,” she said when she opened the door, trying to keep the frost out of her voice.
“I’m sorry.”
“For?” She wasn’t going to make this easy on him.
“Not calling, disappearing.”
“It got the point across.” She thought she saw him wince, and it gave her a momentary flash of pleasure.
“You have every right to be angry, but I’m here to beg your forgiveness. I got scared, and I handled it in the worst possible way.” He hesitated, took a breath. “What did the doctor say?”
She tamped down the sudden burst of anger. He should have asked that question days ago. She’d wanted to celebrate the good news with him, but he’d obviously let his past dictate his present.
“I’m fine. It’s not cancer.”
His smile and obvious happiness was immediate, and he took a step toward her as if he might pull her into his arms. Instinctively, she backed away from him. The smile fell from his lips.
“I would take back my actions if I could,” he said.
She could see in his eyes that he was telling the truth, and she couldn’t help softening the slightest bit.
“I tried to convince myself that I understood if you needed to pull away. You shouldn’t have to go through losing someone again like you did with Corinne. But I’m evidently not that strong. I needed you, and you weren’t there. It was as if every inkling that you cared for me went out like a light. It hurt, a lot.”
Travis slowly closed the distance between them and took her hand in his. “You’re right that Corinne is the reason I didn’t call, but it’s not what you think.” He looked down at her hand and ran his thumb across her skin. “I had a surprise visitor at the office the day you got your news. David Crouch’s mother.”
The shock of that revelation pushed aside Savannah’s hurt. “Why did she come see you?”
“He had written a letter to me, to be delivered by her should he die.”
“So, he...”
“He killed himself. I’m surprised you haven’t seen it on the news.”
“I’ve had other things on my mind.”
Travis lowered his gaze, and she felt the guilt coursing through him. It brought her closer to forgiving him.
“I couldn’t believe she was there to see me only hours after he died.”
Savannah didn’t know the woman, but she ached for her. No matter what David had done, he was still her son.
More of her anger slipped away when she thought about all the old pain seeing Mrs. Crouch must have caused Travis. “Are you okay?”
He lifted his gaze to hers and looked as if he thought it was a miracle she would ask. “Yeah, for the first time in years.”
“Because he’s dead?” She would understand if he said yes, but it still felt harsh, at odds with the kindness she knew was very much a part of who Travis was, the last week of her hurt feelings aside.
Travis entwined his fingers with hers. “No, which is the biggest surprise of all. I didn’t want to read the letter, but I did. It was an apology. At first, it made me so angry. I know this sounds stupid, but I thought maybe it was a sign that I shouldn’t open myself up to that kind of pain again. When I thought of losing you the way I did Corinne...I ran. I’m not proud of it.”
“Then why are you here now?”
“Because I have a good friend who told me what an idiot I was being.” He lifted his hand and caressed her cheek. “And because this past week without you, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, missing you, no matter how hard I tried.”
Despite how he’d hurt her, Savannah’s heart sang at his words.
“I knew I had to let go of the past to be fair to you. I made myself read Crouch’s letter again. I’d hated him for so long that I didn’t want to believe anything he said, but it was the oddest thing. I...” He shook his head slowly. “I could feel the truth of it, how he would have honestly given his life to bring Corinne back. I ended up walking around probably half of downtown Dallas just thinking.”
He looked up and met her gaze. “It was the strangest feeling, as if the longer I walked the more of the anger and pain I left like a trail behind me. By the time I rounded back to the office, it was as if a weight I hadn’t even known was there wasn’t anymore.”
Travis ran the backs of his fingers across her cheek. “There was all this new space within me, and I want to fill it with you.”
Her heart, which had been heavy all day, filled to bursting. “I was so afraid that what we’d shared was over.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” He leaned forward and planted a light kiss on her mouth. “Will you go for a walk with me?”
“Yes.”
Travis placed her hand in the crook of his arm and led her outside and toward the orchard. The light of the full moon made it bright enough to see without the benefit of flashlights as they strolled between two rows of peach trees. Savannah told him about the festival she was planning, the mail-order business, all her grand ideas. Her love for him grew with every step as he not only said everything sounded great but also tossed in even more ways to make the Peach Pit everything she wanted it to be.
They’d gone a good distance when Travis finally stopped and turned toward her.
“During all my walking today, I wasn’t just thinking. I had another purpose.”
“You needed some exercise? I can think of something better than walking around Dallas.”
“I can, too, and I’m hoping we get around to that.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out something. “For many years to come.”
When he lowered himself to one knee in front of her and lifted his hand, a ring glinted in the moonlight. She gasped.
“Savannah Baron, I never thought I’d love someone again, but you started proving me wrong that night I saw you at the rodeo. Since then, I’ve loved you more every time I’ve been with you, even when that scared me half to death. I want to be with you the rest of my life, if you’ll have me.” He paused, smiling. “Will you marry me?”
All the hurt and doubt slid away as she heard the deep sincerity in his words.
“Yes. Oh, my God, yes!”
She could barely stand still as Travis slipped the ring onto her finger. “I didn’t get you a diamond. I know you can’t tell out here now, but it’s an orange sapphire. It reminded me of these peaches you love so much.”
“It’s perfect,” she said, not needing to see the color to know that she would treasure it for the rest of her days. “You’re perfect. At least you would be if you’d get up here and kiss me.”
Travis laughed and got to his feet. “Yes, ma’am.”
When he kissed her this time, it wasn’t a soft touching of lips. He pulled her close and kissed her as if they were outlawing kisses at the stroke of midnight. She had no idea how much time passed before they came up for air. But when they did, something occurred to her.
“You bought this ring before you knew my diagnosis.”
“Yes, I did. I realized that it didn’t matter if we had months or decades—I wanted to spend them with you as my wife.”
She’d never been touched by something so deeply in her life. “I love you, more than I ever imagined I could love someone.”
“Good.” He scooped her up into his arms, making her squeal, and started retracing their steps. “Because I don’t think I’ve had enough exercise today.”
She giggled. “I could stand to work off a couple of peach pastries.”
“Honey, by the time this night is over, you’re going to need a lot more than a couple of pa
stries to recover.”
“Then it’s a good thing I have an entire orchard full of peaches.”
Maybe someday they’d find her mother, but for now Savannah couldn’t ask for anything more. She was healthy, loved her job and was so in love with the man carrying her that she didn’t think words could express it. And thanks to the most unexpected source, Travis was finally free to truly love her back.
Despite what he’d done, Savannah sent out a silent thank-you to David Crouch. She hoped he and Corinne were both at peace.
When they arrived back at the Peach Pit, Travis set her on her feet on the front steps. When he looked at her, there was such love in his eyes that it took her breath away.
“What are you thinking?” she asked.
“That I wish I could go back and tell my dorky teenage self not to worry, that I would someday get the girl. And she was worth the wait.”
She smiled. “I already said yes, you know.”
“Yes, you did. And I’m going to hold you to it.”
She took his hand and started backing toward the door. “What do you say we go seal the deal?”
“Only if you tell me you need lots of convincing.”
“Loads.”
He gave her a wicked grin. “Good answer.”
Chapter Fifteen
Travis poured himself a cup of coffee and walked as quietly as he could down the center aisle of the Peach Pit and out the front door. Savannah had a big day ahead of her, one she’d worked hard to pull together in a short amount of time, and he wanted to let her sleep a little longer. Plus, he wanted some private minutes to think, to make a decision regarding an idea he’d been mulling for the past few days.
He sank onto the top porch step and took a drink of his coffee. Only the barest hint of daylight was touching the eastern horizon, hardly visible through the layer of fog that blanketed the ranch. He inhaled a deep breath and marveled at the quiet. Even at this hour, Dallas wouldn’t be without some sort of noise. He’d never really thought about it before or let it bother him, but he had to admit that the hush and solitude that surrounded him now was peaceful.
Peace was something he’d convinced himself he’d never truly have in the aftermath of Corinne’s death, but the events of the past few weeks had proven otherwise. Love had replaced pain in his heart. Existing had given way to truly living. And most surprising of all, forgiveness had taken up residence where hatred and anger had made camp for too long. He felt like a different man now than he had the night of that rodeo in Mineral Wells. A better man.