“There’s more than meets the eye here, even between you and me. I want to share something with you that I relived in a session with Lorenzo Giannini.” David looked at the floor to focus himself because he could feel she was disturbed about something as she launched into the description of what she had seen. After she finished, she cried softly while David held her gaze. He reached for her as she said in an anguished voice, “That man was you in a past life!” He already knew it because when she described the scene, he watched it like a long-forgotten movie. He pulled her into his arms. “I don’t want to interfere with Lorenzo, but can you tell me what he said about it? I believe we often return in the same families to resolve problems we didn’t solve in the past.”
“Lorenzo said this session is critical because it got me in touch with my father/daughter complex, my doorway to individuation, my opportunity to truly know myself in this life. We haven’t worked on it further. What do you know about the father/daughter complex?”
“I’m not knowledgeable about it, but as I understand it, it is Oedipal, whether that’s Freud, Jung, or both. That is, a son loves his mother, the daughter loves her father, and the big crisis for the child is to separate. A parent must never invade their child, especially sexually, because incest is destructive for the child and warps the parent.” He paused reflectively. “I’ve always loved you very dearly and tried to support your freedom, but I wasn’t perfect, I’m not now. What do you think about this recall? What does it mean to you? How does it affect you?”
There was another long pause. “I’m not saying this to hurt you and I don’t think it is your fault, but I think you missed being able to do something; I really don’t know what. I think maybe I was trying to get back at you by having a serious affair with a married man that almost ruined us both. He was a good man, like you. I think having the affair was my way to get back at you!”
Even though David knew he should probably leave it to her therapist, he asked, “Why did you want to get back at me?”
Like Alice in Wonderland, she became very small, a miniature person standing by his tall leg. Barely audibly she choked, “Because you wanted my mother, not me.”
He held her firmly saying in a warm voice, “If I had not wanted your mother, you wouldn’t be here. But, maybe you don’t really want to be here? What on earth would I do if you weren’t here? What about Rose, what about Armando and your brother? You are the feminine light in our world, Jen, a place that would be very dark without you.”
She felt herself getting larger and larger as if she’d eaten the magic potion that clarified her feelings about her father. She drew away looking at him in total wonder. It all hit her at once—she wouldn’t be here, she wouldn’t have a husband, she wouldn’t have a brother or a niece. She stood farther back as waves of knowing were passing through her saying, “You’ve convinced me I deserve my husband! I’ve secretly felt like I was greedy and grasping to marry him, even though his family is so much more than their money and heritage. Matilda loves Armando and Pietro is such a fine and loving father—that is why I married Armando; that is what you brought me up for. Miraculously, this is my home and I will stay here. A huge guilt complex has been shadowing me! I probably felt guilty about taking you away from your wife in that past life! Then I did it to Jasmine. I’ve felt like I don’t deserve you or my mother, certainly not a brother like Simon, and certainly not a man like Armando. But . . . I do.”
“Want some fatherly advice?” It was a hot question since she’d never allowed him to advise her; she wouldn’t listen, so she’d always behaved well enough to keep him quiet. If she did something really bad, such as the affair in Paris, she made sure he didn’t hear about it. All this her father knew very well.
“Okay, Dad, shoot! I’m ready.”
They sat down opposite each other. Because she’d escaped his shadow, David felt lighter and considered his words very carefully. “You have married a great man, a man the world will lionize. This will take him away from you at times. I’m not an analyst or a psychologist, but I think you are preparing yourself for what Armando is going to become. It’s incredible that you’ve penetrated this recent past life and learned so much about our relationship. I think you sense a great wave of success is coming that could overwhelm Armando, the kind of fame that can ruin a marriage. You are finding ways to know yourself so that you can handle it. Wisely you are drawing yourself into the inner circle of this family so that all of you can protect him together. That’s what I see about you living with a great artist who could open the hearts of millions.”
“It’s so amazing that you say this because you are totally right. Ever since I married him and came into the Pierleoni world, I’ve felt smaller and smaller. I’ve even given up my own work to settle in, which has not been easy. The duchess Kate must have felt like that when she married William. She seems to know her importance as a wife, mother, and public figure, but it must have been hard for her to adopt that role. According to modern culture, Kate and I are dinosaurs, but I don’t give a damn because I know there’s more to life than being a liberated woman.
“By sharing with you today, you took me past something Lorenzo would have processed with me; I get it, you know. I see why I did some things, and I still have other things to figure out. But I can and will. I just want to be happy as Armando’s wife because I’m becoming a new person, really new, an experience that surprises me.”
“Well, my dear daughter, that’s quite an accomplishment in a world falling to pieces. You will reassume your own work when you’re ready or do something entirely different. I admire you for paying attention to what really matters first, your self-discovery, marriage, adjusting to life in a new country, even learning Italian, no small feat!”
17
The Lost Gospel
Sarah had to send her novel to the publisher by the first of April, so she had not seen Claudia to talk about the bee. At last, she was knocking on Lorenzo’s imposing front door. It swept open and in she rushed to hug Claudia.
“Sarah! It has been so long. I’ve missed you so much. My new life with Lorenzo is so engrossing, yet I’ve thought about you every day. It’s been months since we had you for dinner. I’m so happy Simon is home and you can take a break. We have so much to talk about!” She stood back to look at Sarah who was wearing honey-colored suede boots, black tights, and a leather miniskirt overlapped by a beige tunic. “You’d never know you had a baby. Good for you!” They went into the library to sit down on the two leather chairs in the alcove with a view out to the garden where traffic rushing by was blocked by a high brick wall. The garden, visible through pink magnolia blossoms and old wavy glass, looked watery as if it was raining.
“I love the way the old glass veils your view of the garden; such a lovely view. Do you come to sit here often? We’d never know we are in Rome except for the traffic hum.”
“It is my favorite place in the morning after Lorenzo walks to his office before I drive to work. The soft and steady buzz of the morning traffic reminds me the world still goes on. And by the way, I’ve been thinking about selling my old flat. I’m never there, yet I’m finding it hard to let it go. I don’t know why, maybe because my father gave it to me after I broke up with Armando, the kindest thing he ever did for me. Every time I go to call a realtor, I can’t do it.”
“Have you thought about renting it? It’s so charming, and if you got the right person, they would take care of it.” A light went on in Sarah’s head. Should I ask about renting it? Our apartment is so small now with Teresa’s toys all over the place. Surely in central Rome the rent would have to be too high. Just as Sarah thought of it, Claudia had the same idea.
“I hadn’t thought of renting it, but now that you mention it, yes. I suppose if I had just the right person it would be a good idea, since property values keep on climbing in Rome, especially in this district. Can you imagine renting it from me?”
“Yes! Let me pass it by Simon, and you’ll have to give us an idea of wha
t you’d need to charge. It would be just the right amount of space for the three of us, and when Simon is away, his father could stay with me, my parents too. We would take very good care of it, since Teresa is a very orderly baby. Just think how she would love your little patio garden! I’ll get back to you as soon as possible if Simon likes the idea.
“But what I really came to talk about is Armando’s painting of Jesus and Mary Magdalene, specifically about the queen bee. I went to see it with my father, and Armando said you told him about an ancient manuscript that discusses Mary Magdalene as the bee goddess, a priestess of Artemis? Were you referring to The Lost Gospel by Simcha Jacobovici and Barrie Wilson?” Claudia jerked her head up and nodded.
“Great! I’ve read it, and it really moved me. It’s the big hot topic in early Christian scholarship these days, or at least should be. Orthodox theologians hope it will go away if they avoid saying anything about it, but their killing silences won’t work because Barrie Wilson is such a highly esteemed Christian scholar. And, Simcha Jacobovici knows how to get attention.”
“Of course you would have read it,” Claudia broke in. “What do you think of it? I don’t have your background in early Christianity, but I thought it was very credible.” Actually, she thought it was one of the most important books on early Christianity she’d ever read, certainly the first book in the field that ever excited her.
Sarah began thoughtfully. “Of course, it is very controversial, but as a scholar in the field, I think they’ve made a very strong case for general readers. We scholars could write a thousand pages to prove that it is an encoded text, but that’s obvious and the implications are astounding. It means the significant teaching of Mary Magdalene and Jesus is that marital sex is redemptive. That’s revolutionary, Claudia, an extremely healing message, an essential truth we need right now.” She was about to say more, but Claudia was so excited she interrupted her by standing up to pace in front of the window.
“I agree! Joseph and Aseneth is evocative and deeply sensual. Now that I’ve read it, I can’t erase the images of their love in my mind, and then I saw Armando’s painting of Jesus and Mary. He doesn’t know anything about symbols, but that bee came right from inside him, the symbol for the Magdalene as Artemis! Also, Armando spends a lot of time in Siena Cathedral where Mary Magdalene has been right in our faces for hundreds of years as Artemis the bee goddess. Siena Cathedral is one of the most alchemical churches in the world with the great heresy right above the front entrance, a great example of how the secret tradition was kept alive in medieval art.
“Then there are paintings all over Italy of Jesus with Mary sporting sensual red hair. For God’s sake, what about all the sibyls in the Siena Cathedral mosaics offering women’s wisdom day after day that mocks the hierarchy, a medieval joke that makes fun of the patriarchal fairy tale. The twisted posts holding up Bernini’s altar in the Vatican crawl with bees, well, why?” Claudia got up again and went to look out the window. “God, I wish I could smoke just one cigarette!”
“You’re right, Claudia, and here’s the background: The early Church fathers were obsessed with Greek dualism and asceticism, so they recast the sensual Jesus as an unmarried, celibate eunuch. Outrageous, since even Peter was married. The truth is, these early heretics—Docetists—prevailed. They claimed Jesus only appeared to be human but was purely divine. But, the anti-sex dualists insisted that Jesus was also a real live man and also divine, so he had to have been celibate, not tainted by women. Time rolled along, people forgot the real story, and eventually the ascetics who hated women invented priestly celibacy, the cornerstone of the hierarchy. When Jesus and Mary were alive, the religion of the great goddess Artemis was sensual and deeply sexual. The people loved Artemis, and Mary Magdalene was her priestess. Now, consider the consequences of asceticism—the death of Earth. We need the goddess teachings about fertility and sensuality to recover our sanity and protect the Earth! That’s why The Lost Gospel is so important, yet theologians will do everything they can to bury it.”
Artemis in the Siena Cathedral
Claudia came back to sit down and interrupted Sarah a third time as she was wound up like a tight violin string. “The timing of this translation is amazing in relation to Karen King’s fragment that says Mary Magdalene was the wife and disciple of Jesus—another 2012 breakthrough. Assuming these 2012 breakthroughs mean we’re getting somewhere, then this new translation and analysis of Joseph and Aseneth might bring the religion of the great goddess back. This must happen because the hierarchy’s denial of healthy human sexuality threatens us with extinction. For example, the Church’s prohibition against birth control has exacerbated the population crisis that is strangling nature. The search for the real Jesus is the perennial search for the ideal spiritual man, yet the lie about celibacy among sexually active priests belittles the sexual spirituality of the goddess!”
Listening to Claudia’s ruminations made Sarah wonder whether The Lost Gospel reminded Claudia of the sacred sex she said she’d shared with Armando when they were young, a story that always had felt very odd to Sarah. “Speaking of the rituals of the great goddess, is that what you were doing with Armando many years ago? I have to admit that I’ve found divinity with my husband. An incredible light went through us when we were married, a light from a very high source that’s been guiding our marriage ever since.”
“I’ll go even further than that,” Claudia replied excitedly. “All these breakthroughs at the end of the Mayan Calendar reveal what was really happening between men and women when Jesus was on Earth when the Age of Pisces began. The transition out of Aries into Pisces called for human compassion, a force that could end Arian warfare. The angry judgmental God needed to go once Jesus, a god of love, incarnated to experience sacred sexuality. But Yahweh, a murderous, jealous god, prevailed over Jesus. The Lost Gospel portrays Jesus uniting with the goddess, the resolution for the cosmic separation of Sophia and Lucifer in the Gnostic creation story. That is why the Church crushed the Gnostics, don’t you think?” Sarah nodded in agreement even though she wanted an answer to her question, so Claudia went on.
“The patriarchy completely distorted the image of Jesus as a sexual male who loved the goddess. They castrated Jesus and called Mary a whore and almost aborted the Age of Pisces. But now we can see that the Age of Pisces actually began with a sacred cosmic marriage, the ultimate secret tradition. We need this story now so that both sexes can emulate this ideal in marriage to create sexual harmony, to terminate warfare and the denigration of women. Sarah, I’m sorry for talking too much, but I can’t stop myself now that I finally have found real love myself!” Sarah wondered whether she would answer her question about the rituals with Armando.
“As the Age of Aries was ending, being born a woman was worse than death, a time when men killed for sport, raped for fun, and ridiculed sacred sex. It had to change, maybe the reason Jesus incarnated to find Mary. The story of their love and marriage in Joseph and Aseneth is a story of redemption through love and compassion, the central theme of the Piscean Age, the reason Jesus came down from on high, a cosmic miracle. By 2012 millions could see that Jesus was a sensual, heterosexual man and also divine. To finally answer your question, Sarah, yes, the rituals I carried out long ago with Armando were the ceremonies of the great goddess. We’ve honored her in Rome generation after generation to keep us from drying up under the assault of the misogynist hierarchy.”
Sarah walked to the window reflecting on the hierarchy’s iron grip and turned around. “Geez, about time you answered my question! Pope Francis is so sweet and amiable, but the hierarchy will never adopt good models for families. By leading the Church in a stable and nonjudgmental way, perhaps Francis is holding the Church together while people fully integrate the sexual revolution, which is not going away. You and I haven’t talked about Francis. Maybe he is the ideal pope for these times. He has expressed admiration for women. He’s trying to clean up the Church’s financial systems, something very needed as Roman
Catholicism shrinks globally. Last week, when Simon got back right after ISIS blew up Nimrud, he said he thinks the West is collapsing as people escape the chaos in the East and flood Europe. What will happen to Rome if it gets that bad? You know the city, what do you think? I’m so worried! What a time to raise a child.”
Claudia thought about Sarah’s needs as she went from one topic to the next, normally not her style. “Lorenzo and I talk about this a lot, and in that sense, Lorenzo is our elder. He says this level of chaos and change has come to Rome before, yet we’ve endured. He takes the long view since he believes chaos always erupts when the ages shift. As for Pope Francis, sometimes I think much more is going on with him than we realize. I’ve heard he thinks Mary Magdalene was a saint. As a Jesuit, he knows Church politics and finance, and he is eliminating some corruption in the Curia. Everything is falling apart around him, yet he is serene. What can any one leader do? He may be a saint sent from high places to help right now.
“Lorenzo and I believe we are all here right now for a reason, and we know things are going to get much worse. Plagued by the breakdown of the Age of Pisces on all levels—religion, finance, morals, and health—we must carry forward. Living through this transition will be horrific, yet creative potential is wide open, as it was during the Renaissance. You and I have never known such personal joy! I’m uncomfortable with the high-tech aspects of the Age of Aquarius, yet I have to believe this will be positive for our species ultimately. But, artificial intelligence terrifies me. Back to The Lost Gospel for a moment, since we’ve always been very frank. What does the idea of Jesus and Mary having sacred sex, we could say tantric sex, do for you as a woman?”
Revelations of the Aquarian Age Page 17