by Marton, Dana
She couldn’t put her hands on his scarred shoulders, so she placed them on his head, shoved her seeking fingers into his thick, wet hair, even as liquid need filled her limbs, making her legs unsteady.
He held on to her right hip with his left hand while nudging her thighs apart with the other. Then he parted her flesh with his fingers and found the nub that ached for his touch.
He leaned forward and sealed his warm lips around her clitoris, sucked it gently while she hung on to him for support. She might have protested, but speech was beyond her at this point.
Need grew and swirled, mixed with heat, with naked desire as she watched his dark hair against the white skin of her belly. Her breath hitched when he removed his hand from her hip and ran his fingers up her inner thigh.
“I want you,” he said, his voice raspy, as he dipped a finger into her opening, then rubbed his moist fingertip up and down. A second finger joined the first before she could catch her breath, teasing her entry.
She let her head drop back, her eyes squeezing shut. She held on tight. She wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this.
One long finger entered her first, then another, his mouth keeping up its gentle suckling the whole time, only pulling back now and then to let the teasing tip of his tongue torment her.
Inside her, his fingers curled against the backside of her clitoris, and he massaged the sensitive bundle of nerves, sending a mad pleasure through her.
She remembered how back in college he’d have her naked and spread eagle on the bed, experimenting and constantly surveying. “How does this feel?” “What about this depth?” “What about this angle?” “I think applying heat would increase blood flow and make it feel even better.”
He’d have her mindlessly lost in pleasure with ridiculous ease. And he had never tired of her body. It’d been a miracle that they ever made it to class.
She’d blocked out a lot of those memories over the years. She’d made herself forget the incredible way he could make her feel, so she wouldn’t miss him.
But there was no denying the here and now. Pleasure spiraled out of control inside her, waves and waves washing over her until her legs folded.
He caught her, held her in his arms with a satisfied look on his face.
“It’s not polite to gloat.” But as she turned her face to his warm skin to inhale his scent, she grinned into his shoulder. He probably thought he won. He probably thought he proved something. He liked reducing her to a puddle, did he? Two could play this game.
“You’re going to have to pull me up. I don’t think I can stand on my own,” she said weakly as she sat back on her heels.
But when he pushed to his feet, instead of reaching for his hands, she leaned forward, grabbed him by the hips, and closed her mouth around the tip of his erection.
Air hissed from between his teeth. He went utterly still, a fierce concentration on his face. “Give a man some warning. You’ll give me a heart attack.”
She pulled back long enough to say, “I think you’re safe from that. All the blood is down here.” Then she tasted him again, slowly, carefully drawing him into her mouth. One hand went to wrap around the base of his cock, the other cupped his testicles.
A deep groan of pleasure escaped him. “We could have had more fun, but if you’re determined to end this in the next two seconds—”
She sucked on him softly at first, then harder.
His hand came to rest on the top of her head. “Miranda, honey . . . you’re killing me.”
Who was the boss now? Her lips curved into a grin around him. She used the pressure of her tongue and her lips simultaneously.
Until he reached down and lifted her up, tossed her on the bed. He grabbed for his robe and produced a foil packet with a grin. “We have a fully stocked bathroom cabinet.”
He rolled on the condom in one smooth move, then covered her with his body. He pushed her knees up as he plunged his hard cock inside her all the way, filling her.
Her private parts were still sensitized from her orgasm, all the blood still oh so close to the surface. The sensation of him stretching her nearly undid her all over again. One more move and . . .
But he wasn’t moving. He held himself motionless inside her.
His burning gaze held hers. “Don’t you dare move. Give me a minute. That’s an order.” His lips flattened, his face tightening with concentration.
“You’re not the boss of me.” She wrapped her legs around him, tilted her pelvis, and drew him in even deeper.
He swore between his teeth, pulled back, then plunged in again, hard, unrestrained.
And then she realized her tactical mistake. Giving him a minute to cool off would have given her a minute to cool off too. As it was, the hot, heavy pleasure built deep inside her again with alarming speed.
She was so going to lose it. He was right. They weren’t going to last another minute.
Her back arched. She felt her eyes roll back in her head. She was at the peak, on the edge of the precipice. And then she tumbled over, into the sea of warm pleasure that closed in over her.
She barely registered as Glenn groaned her name, convulsing inside her.
Okay. Wow. Okay.
Glenn tried to catch his breath as he lay on his side next to her, watching her relax in post-orgasmic glow. His heart beat so hard against his ribcage, he thought it might crack a rib. If he was to talk her back into his life, he was going to have to up the time he spent at the pool. Or she was going to give him a heart attack.
She was everything he’d remembered and more. So much more, dammit. She might have thought that there was no room in her heart next to Matthew’s memories, but she was going to have to make room. He needed to prove to her that it was possible.
“I want to see you when we get back home,” he told her again. He’d keep asking until she agreed.
She drew a deep breath, her gaze becoming shuttered. In the space of a split second, it was as if an invisible barrier had been dropped into place between them.
“No. I’m sorry. The sex doesn’t change anything.” She pulled the sheet up to cover herself. Yet another barrier. “We’ve been locked together for the last couple of days in a life-threatening situation. The adrenaline rush got the better of us. It would have happened with anyone.”
She was trying to explain away what they had. She’d left him before, and now she was preparing to leave him again.
“Because of Matthew?” Jealousy hit swiftly, making his shoulders tense. “Because you’re still in love with him?”
“No.”
He relaxed his muscles. Okay. As long as she wasn’t in love with anyone else, there was a chance she could love him again. “Because I have more money? It means nothing. It’s a tool to use. I’m a successful businessman. You’re a successful investigator. One comes with money, the other doesn’t. It’s a minor detail.”
Her eyes said he was full of BS. But she didn’t argue with him. “I don’t care about your money.”
“Then what? I think what we have here is special.”
She was a reasonable person, logical, in every other aspect but this. He would make her see the truth this time, the elemental truth that they belonged together.
But she stubbornly said, “We’re not right for each other.”
“Don’t pretend that there’s nothing between us. Give me some credit.”
“Your life path is different from my life path.” She moved back from him.
He lifted himself to his elbow. “That’s bullshit.”
She yanked the entire sheet to her side and sat up, wrapping herself in the white expanse of cotton, then went to sit in the chair that faced the bed. Her face held a mix of emotions, none of them resembling the love and devotion he wanted. Instead, she looked torn, desperate, in pain. He didn’t understand any of that, even as her obvious
misery tugged at his heartstrings.
“What’s wrong?”
“You are someone in the public eye.” She clasped her hands on her lap. “You’ll be even more in the public eye once you enter politics.”
“So what? You’re camera shy now?”
She pressed her lips together. Her voice dropped. “My past won’t stand up to scrutiny.”
“What are you talking about? You served our country. You’re a hero. Look at what you’re doing now. Saving lives. You just saved mine.” His voice held more snap than he’d meant, impatience pushing him. He wanted her back in bed with him instead of arguing.
“I killed someone,” she snapped back.
“You were a soldier. That was your job. I’m pretty sure I killed a guardsmen and probably the commander as we were escaping, but I’ll be damned if I feel guilty about it.”
She watched him with big brown eyes, all spunk draining from her face. She wrapped her arms around herself and somehow seemed to shrink, her expression becoming haunted as shadows filled her face.
She swallowed. Shook her head. “I killed someone outside of combat. An unarmed man. My superior officer. I received a dishonorable discharge from the army.” She gave him a very small, incredibly sad smile. “I’m not politician-wife material.”
The pain in her voice twisted his heart.
He stared at her for a moment. What was he supposed to say to that?
He pulled the blanket up to his waist and sat up in bed, a million questions flying through his stunned brain. “Can you tell me what happened?”
She rubbed her hand over her face, then dropped it back to her lap. Watching her in so much misery killed him. He wanted to go to her, but everything in her closed body language said to stay away. She didn’t want him to comfort her, which added more layers of emotion to the already emotionally charged conversation.
As a guy, and an engineer, emotions weren’t his specialty. He preferred problems to be of a mathematical nature. He liked it when he was in control of a situation. He liked it when he had solutions. Preferably, solutions he could personally implement.
He was all the way out to sea here. “Miranda?”
“I was with Personnel Recovery.” Her voice turned wooden, her gaze moving to a spot on the wall behind him as she withdrew even more. “Two soldiers went AWOL from a Southeast Asian army base. Thailand. My CO and I were sent to find them. All signs pointed toward them just walking off base and getting lost in the red-light district.”
Her lips flattened, as if from physical pain, as if just saying the words hurt.
But she continued. “My commanding officer and I split up, looking for them. The pleasure strip was a pretty grim place. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out. I found the soldiers, escorted them back to base for discipline. I couldn’t find my CO. He didn’t answer his cell. I went back to make sure nobody jumped him. Places like that, they don’t like outsiders who go around asking questions. I found him inside one of the seediest brothels on the far edge.”
She paused. Closed her eyes. “He was with a little girl, six or seven years old. I saw her pass out”—Miranda’s voice broke—”while he was laboring above her.” Quick breath. “I told him to stop. He said, ‘When I’m done.’ He kept on going. ‘Stand down, soldier. That’s an order.’ ”
She drew another ragged breath. “I told him he was done. And when he didn’t stop, I pulled my service revolver and shot him in the head.” Her shoulders collapsed with the last word. She looked spent, broken, shattered.
Holy shit.
Disjointed thoughts pinged around in Glenn’s head like atoms in a nuclear fission chain reaction, one thing pushing its way to the forefront: the knowledge of what had happened to Miranda’s daughter.
What that moment at the brothel must have been like for her. Just . . . Jesus.
Sympathy coursed through him, and anger, frustration. He wanted to kill the bastard all over again. He wanted to go back in time. He wanted whatever supernatural powers it would take to free Miranda from the crushing pain that clearly had her in chains.
He wrapped the blanket around his waist and went to her, dropped to his knees in front of her, tried to put his arms around her, but she pushed him away, drew back from him.
“I should be in military prison.” She pressed her lips together, her eyes begging him to understand. “But the army didn’t want a scandal. They released a cover story that the CO was attacked and killed by local criminals while on duty. He got a posthumous medal. His widow and his kids don’t know the truth to this day. As far as they know, the man was a true hero. His hometown named a playground after him.” Sheer misery crept across her face. “So I can’t even apologize to anyone.”
He took her hands, needing the contact. Her fingertips were ice cold. “What can I do to help?”
“Nothing.” She pulled her hands back and held herself rigid, as far from him as the chair allowed. “I want to take my punishment, but nobody will give it to me. I want to pay the price for my action, so maybe someday I can get absolution.”
At last, he understood the times when she’d withdrawn, the times when he’d caught that hollow look in her eyes. She’d lost her husband, then she’d lost her daughter, then she was put in a situation where her worst nightmare played out right in front of her eyes. Too much. It would have broken anyone.
He could see the cracks now, and they scared him to death. He didn’t want her to break, he couldn’t stand the thought of it, the thought of the enormous pain she was holding in.
“You did nothing wrong,” he said, in a harsher tone than he’d meant. He tempered his voice as he continued. “The bastard deserved to die. If you ask me, he died too easily.”
He would have done anything to take the burden of guilt from her. He refused to move away. “You did nothing wrong,” he repeated. “Do you hear me?”
But she shook her head. “I had no right to be judge, jury, and executioner.”
“You saved that little girl’s life.”
“I don’t know if I did. I was put on a plane back to the States the same day. Nobody would tell me anything about her.”
Her face etched with agony, he could see now what she carried, day after day, could finally understand what tremendous energy it took to keep everything bottled up, secured behind walls, and still keep functioning, going about her work.
“Then you saved the bastard’s next victim. And the next. He was a predator. He would have done it again.”
Nobody should witness the rape of a child; nobody should have to make a decision in the heat of such a horrible, desperate moment. And sure as hell nobody should be blamed if she did what Miranda had done.
She stood, turning from his arms when he tried to hug her. She kept moving away, putting distance between them. “Would you mind going back to your room? I’d like some time alone. I want to get dressed. I need a moment of privacy.”
Leaving her alone went against every instinct he had. But she had asked, so he would go. He needed her in his arms. Regardless, he would give her what she needed.
But they were far from done talking about this.
He strode to the door. Looked back. Tried to think up something to help her.
Her smile was heartbreakingly sad as she spoke. “Quit thinking determined thoughts. This is not a geometric problem you can solve with the right tools and the right equation. You are going to high places. I have a past that can’t go there with you.”
“Engineers don’t believe in unsolvable problems,” he warned her.
Chapter 16
ONE WEEK LATER
MIRANDA WOVE THROUGH rush-hour D.C. traffic as she headed into work, trying not to think of Glenn. She hoped he was all right, that he’d hired the best private detective money could buy to figure out who’d set him up. She hadn’t seen him since they’d returned to the US. She’d barely gott
en back to the office before she’d been sent to Mexico to look for a pair of missing teenagers.
She’d tracked them to Tijuana. They’d decided to give up college and stay down there to party for the rest of their lives. To their parents’ relief, she was able to convince them to return home and rethink their life strategies.
Back to work, she was ready for her next case. She parked in the underground parking garage. Michael, the homeless vet she’d met weeks ago on the corner, no longer sat on the grass. He was working at the veterans’ assistance agency and living in a group home. She loved seeing his spot empty. Made her feel like progress was being made. She crossed the street, went through security, and took the elevator down to the basement.
General Roberts was in, she registered as she walked through the doors. He waved at her as soon as he saw her, gesturing for her to come into his office. He’d been overseas when she’d returned from Caracas. Since she’d only had the phone interview, she’d never seen him in person before.
“Sir.”
The man, tall and lean, stood and greeted her, sharp eyes, unreserved smile. “Karin says you’re shaping up to be an excellent investigator. I had no doubt.” The overhead light glinted off his closely shaved head.
“Thank you, sir.”
“If there’s anything you need, you just let me know.”
“Yes, sir.”
The man nodded. She took that as a dismissal and stepped toward the door.
But he said, “I’m glad that you came on board. I was impressed with your service record. I knew you’d be a great addition to the team.”
Did he know the full truth of why she’d left the army? She didn’t want to live a lie. So she filled her lungs and said, “There’s something you should probably know about me, sir.”
He lifted a bushy eyebrow. “Are you going to do your best in this job?”