‘Thank you.’ He felt a warm feeling in his chest, like gratitude and something more tender. ‘And about what you said earlier, about my being cold... I apologise. The best way I can think to describe it is low spirits. I’m afraid there are times when all I want is to be left alone. I can be solitary and taciturn, often for days.’ He grimaced. It was a strange way of wooing, telling her that he preferred isolation, but now that he’d started he felt he owed her the whole truth. ‘If I’ve had second thoughts, that’s the reason. You should know that I may not be the easiest man to live with.’
‘I see.’ She nodded slowly. ‘Then do you wish to be left alone now?’
‘I did.’ He gave a guilty laugh. ‘But at this precise moment? No. I just want to explain, to warn you, I suppose, but you should know that my moods have nothing to do with you, truly. If you’re having second thoughts about our marriage, however, then I understand. I’d ask you to reconsider, but I would never force you into anything you didn’t want. I can appreciate your reservations about taking all of this on, too. The estate is a lot of responsibility.’
‘I don’t mind responsibility, but, Cassius, you were raised in this house and this world, I wasn’t. Ladies are taught almost from birth to manage households like this. I wouldn’t have the faintest idea where to begin.’
‘But you’d learn and you’d have plenty of help.’ He clasped his hands behind his back, resisting the urge to reach for her again. ‘Of course I won’t deny it would be a lot of work. Just fixing all of Sylvia’s damage would take a few months at least.’
‘Her decorating, you mean?’ Millie’s lips quirked. ‘I think you might be overestimating my abilities.’
‘You could hardly make it any worse.’ He started to smile and then frowned again. ‘Only if you do choose to marry me there’s one more thing I ought to warn you about. A favour to ask, really.’
‘What kind of favour?’ She sounded suspicious.
‘I need to organise a ball.’
‘A ball?’ She looked as startled as if he’d just suggested something indecent. ‘Here?’
‘Yes. My butler asked if there could be a Christmas party for the staff and it occurred to me I ought to throw some kind of event for my tenants, too. The estate was in mourning for my cousin last year, but this time I thought I should throw a ball.’
‘Well, that certainly sounds like a lovely idea...’
‘Then you’ll help me?’
‘I would...’ she clasped her hands together in front of her ‘...if I had any idea how to go about it, but I don’t. I’ve never thrown a ball in my life.’
‘No, you’ve only helped your mother run an entire institution.’ He lifted an eyebrow ironically. ‘I can see how that would be a lesser challenge.’
‘That’s different.’
‘If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never thrown a ball either, but I believe they say there’s a first time for everything.’
She twisted her face to one side and slanted a look back towards him. ‘Maybe you ought to ask Sylvia. She’d be much better at it.’
‘But Sylvia won’t be the Marchioness by the time of the ball—I hope.’
‘You mean...?’
‘I obtained the special licence in London. I was thinking of Friday?’
‘For our...?’ She seemed unable to finish the sentence, licking her lips instead.
‘Wedding? Yes.’
‘And the ball...?’
‘Would be next week. Just before Christmas.’
‘I see. So you want to hold a wedding and ball all within a matter of days?’
‘Yes. I admit the timing is unfortunate, but my housekeeper, Mrs Turner, is very proficient. According to my butler, Kendrew, she’s also bursting to meet you.’
‘All right. I’ll do my best.’
His heart gave a heavy, surely audible, thump. ‘Does that mean what I think it means?’
‘Yes. I gave you my promise. As long as there isn’t any other significant reason why you can’t marry me?’ She let the question hang in the air for a moment. ‘Very well, then. Friday it is.’
‘Thank you. I’ll do my best to make you happy, Millie.’
‘I’ll do my best for you, too.’ Her eyes darted towards the door as if she were suddenly keen to escape. ‘Before I forget, my cousin, Lady Malverly, suggested that you and Lady Falconmore and her aunt might wish to join us for dinner tomorrow evening. If that would be acceptable to you?’
‘We’d be delighted.’ He held out an arm. ‘In that case perhaps we ought to return to the drawing room before all your relatives develop migraines?’
‘Yes.’ Her expression shifted to one of relief. ‘I think that we’d better.’
Chapter Eleven
‘Coffee, miss?’
‘Thank you.’ Millie took the proffered cup from a maid and stared into the inky-dark depths. The dinner party had been excruciating, but at least she could drink her coffee in peace. Or at least she hoped she could. It would be just her luck if Sylvia decided to come and sit next to her on the sofa and regale her with yet more stories about dear Cassius and how wonderful he’d been since returning from India.
The day itself had started out well. She’d woken up feeling almost optimistic about her impending marriage. Actually she’d woken up smiling thanks to a surprisingly lucid dream in which she’d relived both of their kisses in quite a shocking amount of detail. Naturally the smile had been superseded by a guilty, and yet somehow not quite sincere, frown, but she’d still felt better. Despite Cassius’s initial coldness during her visit to Falconmore Hall, what he’d told her afterwards about his low spirits had pulled at her heartstrings and she’d seen enough damaged people at the Foundation to know the words had been sincere. She’d even convinced herself that she’d been mistaken about the nature of his relationship with Sylvia.
Unfortunately dinner had proven otherwise. Sylvia had talked endlessly about his finer qualities, how loving and considerate he was, not just to her, but to her daughters, even going so far as to lay a possessive hand on his arm several times. It was perfectly obvious that she was in love with him and he, no doubt, with her. That would also explain the way his expression had become steadily darker and sterner throughout the evening. He obviously felt divided, torn between doing the right thing by her while secretly yearning for the woman he already shared a roof with. Which meant that she was going to have to bring up the subject of second thoughts again!
She swallowed a mouthful of too-hot coffee and wished it were something stronger.
‘You didn’t seem to enjoy dinner.’
She gave a small jump at the sound of Cassius’s voice. She hadn’t noticed him approach, but he was already standing beside the sofa, dressed immaculately in a dark grey suit with his usual blue waistcoat and an elegantly knotted, pristine white cravat.
‘It was perfectly...’ She sought for an appropriate word and then gave up. ‘Edible.’
‘High praise indeed.’ He gestured at the space beside her. ‘May I sit?’
‘If you wish. It’s not my house.’
‘True. In that case...’ He sat down, one of his legs brushing lightly against hers. ‘Is something the matter?’
‘What makes you think that?’ She shuffled pointedly to one side.
‘Just your expression and body language and the fact that you barely spoke a word all throughout dinner.’
‘Neither did you.’
‘No, it can be hard to get a word in edgewise with my cousin-in-law.’
She glanced towards the table where Sylvia was holding court in a game of whist. In the glow of the candlelight, she looked so beautiful that Millie felt an unwonted pang of jealousy. No matter how indiscreet it sounded, she had to know the truth.
‘Are you in love with her?’
‘With Sylvia?’ He sounded appalled by the very
suggestion. ‘She’s my cousin’s widow!’
‘Yes, but the two of you were thrown together and...well, I wouldn’t want to be the cause of a rift between you. If you had some kind of understanding before I came along, that is.’ She lowered her voice as he stared blankly at her. ‘Some kind of secret engagement, perhaps?’
‘An engagement?’ He looked thunderstruck. ‘Why on earth would you think that? There could never be anything between us!’
‘But she...and you...’ She faltered, wondering if she’d misread the situation, after all. He looked as if he were telling the truth, as if she’d taken leave of her senses to even imagine such a thing, but it was hard to understand Sylvia’s behaviour if there hadn’t been some kind of understanding... ‘Does she know that? Because she seems to think otherwise.’
She had the brief impression that he was about to say something dismissive, before his expression shifted and he ran a hand around the back of his neck. ‘I’ve no idea what she thinks, but believe me, I am not in love with Sylvia. There’s certainly been no suggestion of marriage, not on my side anyway.’
‘But there has been on hers?’ She heard the unspoken statement. ‘Is that why she...touches you?’
He looked apologetic. ‘Forgive me, I’ve tried talking to her about it, but she’s surprisingly persistent. That would be the other reason I sleep in the gatehouse.’
She felt her mouth fall open in surprise. ‘You mean you sleep there to avoid...attentions?’
‘It’s not very gallant of me to say so, I admit, but I promise you, there’s never been and never will be anything between Sylvia and me.’
‘I see.’
‘Millie...’ He cleared his throat. ‘I only tell you this to reassure you. I hope that I can rely on your discretion.’
‘Of course! I wouldn’t dream of telling anyone. Only...’ She drew her brows together.
‘Only?’
‘Well, it just doesn’t make sense. Why would she be so persistent? She’s so beautiful. Surely she could have her pick of men?’
‘She’s still in half-mourning.’
‘That makes it even stranger! Unless she’s lonely, I suppose, but still...’ She spun towards him as a new thought occurred to her. ‘Does she have an income of her own?’
He looked offended. ‘I make certain she and her daughters don’t want for anything.’
‘Yes, but does she have the means to be independent herself?’
‘Not that I know about. Unfortunately my cousin didn’t leave a will.’
‘Well then, that would explain it. She’s probably worried about her future, about where she’ll live if you marry someone else.’
‘When I marry someone else—you, in fact—and I’ve suggested she move to the Dower House, not debtors’ prison. It’s a perfectly fine house.’
‘Where is it?’
‘On the estate, about half a mile from the hall.’
‘All on its own? Not even close to the village?’
‘I suppose so. What’s wrong with that?’
‘Cassius.’ She fought the urge to roll her eyes. ‘Look at things from her perspective. She’s already lost her husband and now I’ve come along to take her position in society and her home, too. Maybe she doesn’t want to live in isolation in the country, especially if she’s used to socialising.’
‘Magnus did say she liked parties.’
‘There you go, then. She’s probably worried about being lonely.’
‘She has her daughters.’
‘Who are how old? Three and four?’
‘Three and five.’
‘Exactly. Lovely as they are, they aren’t at an age to provide a great deal of mature conversation. It’s no wonder your cousin-in-law is behaving so badly.’
‘That still doesn’t excuse it.’
‘But maybe she’s just trying to hold on to what she knows, the future she expected to have, too. Yesterday she said something about her life being over at twenty-five.’
‘So what should I do?’ He lifted a hand. ‘Bearing in mind that she is not living with us.’
‘No, that’s probably not a good idea. Do you have any other properties?’
‘A hunting lodge in Derbyshire and a house in London.’
‘Then perhaps you should offer her one of those?’
‘Perhaps I should.’ He rubbed a hand over his chin. ‘So if I’m following your argument correctly, you’re suggesting that it was only a house and security she wanted, not me?’
‘Probably.’ Millie nodded emphatically and then froze, realising her mistake. ‘Although I’m sure she liked you, too.’
‘So you’re not suggesting that she doesn’t find me attractive?’ He regarded her sternly for a few seconds before bursting into a laugh loud enough to draw the attention of everyone else in the room.
‘Cassius!’ She swatted his arm with her hand. ‘I thought I’d offended you!’
‘On the contrary, this might be the best news I’ve had all year.’ He was still laughing. ‘You have no idea how liberated I feel! All these months! But why on earth didn’t she just tell me?’
‘Maybe she didn’t know how to.’ Millie gave him a penetrating look. ‘Maybe you’re not easy to talk to.’
‘Ah. You might have a point.’ His expression sobered. ‘In that case, I appreciate your telling me now. Hopefully it means I can do something about it.’
‘Good. Only don’t tell her what you were just laughing about and don’t laugh again either. Be sensitive and remember what she’s been through. You aren’t the only one who’s grieving for your cousin, remember, whether she shows it or not. She needs reassurance and she needs it in writing. She can’t live the rest of her life entirely dependent on your good will.’
‘Why do I feel like a chastened schoolboy?’ Despite the words, his gaze warmed as he looked at her. ‘I should have listened to you properly that first night. You told me then that a lot of women marry just to keep a roof over their heads.’ He tipped his head towards her, so close that the warmth of his breath made her cheek tingle. ‘From now on, I’ll pay attention.’
* * *
‘I know what you’re going to say!’
‘Do you?’ Cassius propped his feet on the bench opposite as the carriage rolled away from the Malverlys.
‘Yes and I’m not sorry.’ Sylvia stared out of the window, her tone defiant.
‘Really? Not even for the word usurped?’
‘I don’t recall using it.’
‘Well, you did. Three times actually.’
‘I’m upset.’
‘So we all noticed. I’m not entirely sure why you chose to accompany me this evening instead of staying at home with your aunt, especially considering your earlier reluctance to meet my fiancée at all. However, it may have been a blessing in disguise.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I believe that I might have found a solution to our domestic situation.’
‘No! I won’t discuss it and I will never apologise.’
‘You will discuss it and there’s no need to apologise, not to me at any rate. In fact, I believe I’m the one who owes you an apology.’
‘What?’ Her face swung sharply towards him.
‘For being a blind, insensitive fool.’
‘A blind, insensitive... I don’t understand.’
‘No, I’m not making myself particularly clear, am I? All right, let me put it this way. The moment we get back to Falconmore Hall we’re going to sit down in my library and work out how much income you and your daughters need every year. Then we’re going to double it and make it official. After that we’ll decide where you want to live. Not in the hall or in the Dower House. London, perhaps? Or Derbyshire, if you prefer?’
‘London?’ Sylvia sounded breathless. ‘Do you mean it?’
�
�Wholeheartedly. I should have thought of it sooner.’
‘But what made you think of it now?’
‘I didn’t. It was Miss Fairclough, your usurper, who suggested that perhaps you were feeling insecure about the future.’
‘Oh.’
‘She even thought that your jealous behaviour might stem less from a desire to marry me than a fear of being homeless?’
There was a telling pause. ‘And what did you say?’
‘I said that I had every intention of taking care of you and your daughters for the rest of your lives. Frankly I thought it was offensive to imply otherwise. She countered by suggesting that, offensive or not, I put it in writing.’
‘I see. That was...perceptive of her.’
‘Indeed. Thoughtful, too.’
‘Yes.’
‘Deserving of an apology even?’
‘I... Yes.’
‘Excellent. So London it is. I’ll send word for the house to be made ready. There should be room for all of us there when we come to town, too.’ He rubbed his hands together with satisfaction. ‘I think Magnus would have approved of this arrangement, don’t you?’
There was a lengthy silence, long enough to make him turn his head. When he did he could see that her eyes were bright in the gloom of the carriage, as if there were real tears sparkling inside of them.
‘Sylvia?’
‘I did love Magnus you know, very much, but I’ve been so angry at him, too. He should never have tried jumping that fence.’
‘No, he shouldn’t have.’
Miss Amelia's Mistletoe Marquess Page 11