Ballad Beauty

by Lauren Linwood

  Noah hurried along with the young soldier who’d located him. The man babbled something about his wife fainting in the post office. He could understand the innocent mistake and didn’t bother to correct it. All he knew was that something was wrong with Jenny.

  They rounded the corner only to see Jenny herself coming their way. Noah knew immediately that something had happened in the short time they’d been apart. Her face was set in stone. As he got closer, he saw those green eyes glittered darkly with some hidden knowledge.

  Then he knew. How could he have been so blind? She’d gone into a post office, for God’s sake. He would bet a penny to a pound that Sam’s picture had been splashed all over. After all, he was Famous Sam McShan, and he’d earned that moniker like no other outlaw in the West. He was practically a living legend in most folks’ eyes. Even a hero to some.

  He tried to remember the last poster he’d seen of Sam. From what he recalled, it wasn’t good. There’d been a price on his head, and a big one at that. It must have shocked Jenny to her core to see her daddy larger than life amongst all those hardened criminals.

  “Jenny? I—”

  “Have you gotten everything you need, Mr. Webster? I’m anxious to be off.”

  He stared at her in disbelief. The woman had received the biggest blow of her young life, and she acted as if nothing were out of the ordinary. Boy, she had grit. If he ever thought about taking a wife, Jenny McShanahan would be the one. She had beauty and brains and was tough as a magnolia made from steel. He decided to let her run the show for now. She’d tell him what she’d learned in her own time.

  “That’s Noah, or have you forgotten?”

  She gave him a cold smile. “Of course. Noah. Shall we move along?”

  His mama hadn’t raised any fools. With that prim schoolmistress voice in place, warm butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. He’d best leave it alone. For now.

  They took their leave and rode without conversation. Not for lack of effort on his part, but every time he tried to get her to talk, she shut him down. He knew she was angry, and yet she kept it bottled up tightly inside. If this was a small dose of her fury, he didn’t ever want to be on the receiving end of her full wrath. This kind always, but always, exploded like a volcano in the end.

  He had them stop a little earlier than usual and explained it away by saying he felt like rabbit for dinner. She’d learned quickly during the last couple of days, and he left her going through the motions of making biscuits.

  “Be sure to get the coffee on, Jenny. I’m going to need a strong cup when I get back.”

  She looked at him, but he didn’t know if she’d heard him or not. Her eyes had a faraway look. It worried him.

  He wasn’t gone fifteen minutes. Jenny wished it had been fifteen hours. Her heart ached more than she’d ever thought possible. It was a physical hurt that threatened to drag her down to the bowels of hell. She had never been more miserable in her life. She hadn’t cried. She didn’t want to. She’d learned years ago that a crying jag didn’t do a soul any good. It didn’t solve anything. All you ended up with were red, puffy eyes and a lumpy throat—and the problem didn’t go away. No, she refused to shed tears over Famous Sam McShan.

  But how could he? How could he have kept her on a string all these years? He hadn’t been working toward any goal at all, other than acquiring money that didn’t belong to him. So many lies for so many years. And for what? Why had he even bothered to send for her now? Surely an outlaw like Sam McShan wouldn’t feel guilt.

  Jenny swore that she would never trust a man again. If a girl couldn’t trust her own papa, whom could she trust? She was ashamed to be related to him. And what if this bad blood ran through her veins? She shuddered and forced the thought away.

  What she’d learned about her beloved father caused her to miss her dead mother even more. Jenny had lost her parent at such a young age. The truth was, she remembered very little about Suzannah. She’d been her father’s girl from the start, and Sam dominated all her memories of childhood. Jenny only had a vague notion of her mother, wrapped in shadows. She could barely picture Suzannah anymore and when she did, it was how her mother was at the end, thin and sickly. Jenny prayed that Suzannah’s sweet nature would cancel out any evil that might run through her, due to her father’s wickedness.

  Noah’s return bothered her. She knew she shouldn’t be angry with him, but he was a man, and the only person around for miles. He had charm as Sam did, that easy, affable way about him. He’d probably broken a few hearts in his time, and that made her all the madder at him. She stood, arms akimbo, on the defensive.

  He sauntered up. “We’ll have to settle for a prairie chicken. I’m hungry, and it’s the first thing that came along.”

  “I’m releasing you from our agreement, Mr. Webster.”

  He gazed at her steadily. “Noah.”

  “Noah,” she echoed through gritted teeth. “Something has come up, and I no longer have need of your services.”

  He shrugged. “If that’s what you want, Jenny, it’s fine by me.” He pushed his hat back on his head. “We’ll start back to Apple Blossom at first light.”

  “I won’t be returning to Apple Blossom.”

  His eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Well, then, where are we headed?”

  “We aren’t headed anywhere. You may make your way to Arizona Territory as you originally intended.”

  “And you?” His eyes had gone as cold as a winter’s day.

  “I’m still going to Prairie Dell.” Her chin went up a notch as she tossed out this challenge.

  “The hell you are!” he roared. “You’re crazy to think I would leave a defenseless tenderfoot of a woman alone on the prairie, much less let her think she could make it hundreds of miles thr—”

  “Then escort me to the nearest town. You will be relieved of your duty to me then.”

  “No. I see things through. Unlike my daddy.”

  She immediately recognized the pain in the few words he spoke. She realized she hadn’t been the only one disappointed by a parent. She wondered who Noah’s father was and why he seemed so bitter. She wished she knew him well enough to ask, but Miss Thompson always drilled into her girls how polite society would never pursue such personal conversation.

  “I’m sorry, Noah.” She softened her tone. She wanted to ease him down gently. “I have more problems now than I realized.” She moved closer to the fire. As the sun set, the night grew chilly, and the warmth of the fire comforted her. She pulled her cloak tightly around her.

  With her back to him, she continued. “I moved around so much when I was young. I didn’t realize it then, because my papa made it all seem like fun and games. It was a miserable existence. My mother must have been terribly unhappy, but I don’t remember her letting her feelings show.”

  She sighed. “Papa always had a new scheme to play out or an old friend to look up. He constantly promised something up ahead would make things better for us.”

  “But my mother grew ill and began to waste away.” Jenny wrapped her arms around her. “She grew so painfully thin. We never had enough money, especially not for a doctor. I always felt so helpless. Hopeless.

  “And then she died.”

  He placed a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. A lump formed in her throat.

  “Papa left me at The Thompson School right after that. He vowed we’d be together soon, but one year turned into another. All his words became empty promises.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “You don’t know what lonely is until you’ve spent years with no one—no family, no friends. No one. I cried until I had no tears left in me. And then I never cried about it again.”

  She placed her hand over his and pressed it in return before she stepped away. Just the physical contact with him made this harder to say, and she had to put some dista
nce between them.

  She turned and saw pity on his face. It almost did her in, but she had to get through this. She had to be strong.

  “I found out today that Papa is . . . an outlaw. He’s Famous Sam McShan, the Robin Hood of the West.” She swallowed hard, unable to go on.

  “Jenny, you don’t—”

  “No. Let me finish. I already feel guilty enough as it is for dragging you out to the middle of nowhere. I don’t want you involved in this anymore, Noah. You’re too good a man to be caught up in this web of deceit. I’m tired of feeling helpless. I want to make a new start—for myself and with Papa. There must be some good in him if he’s given away so much money. Surely he can’t be all bad. Maybe I could make the difference in his life.”

  But the thought that it had been done at her expense was almost too much to bear. She was unloved, unwanted, and the daughter of a wanted criminal. What would society think of her if they knew? All her hopes—of being reunited with her papa, of them sharing a home together, of one day finding a good man to marry and raise a family—were now dashed. Who would want to marry the daughter of a thief and murderer?

  Jenny had never felt more alone.

  A sob choked from her. She crumpled into a heap on the hard ground. Her weeping turned into harsh, guttural noises.

  CHAPTER 12

  The sound of it broke Noah’s heart. He went to her and scooped her up in his arms.

  “There, now. It’s okay, honey. It’ll be fine. You’ll see,” he murmured.

  She buried her face against his shoulder. He sat down on a stump near the fire and stroked her hair over and over. He whispered mostly nonsense to her, in gentle, soothing tones, trying to quiet her sobs.

  He hated it when a woman cried. Yet if anyone had something to cry about, it was Jenny McShanahan. He hated Sam in that moment more than he’d ever thought possible. The outlaw abandoned this sweet woman when she was but a child and spun her dreams of future happiness. Now those dreams had splintered into a thousand pieces. Sam needed to be punished.

  “Jenny?”

  She raised her tear-stained face as she clutched his shoulders for support. He still held her on his lap, an arm about her waist. She bit her lower lip as it quivered uncontrollably. A fresh wave of tears cascaded down her cheeks.

  “Damn him.” Noah brushed his knuckles across her soft, wet cheeks. “I’m so sorry, honey.”

  His hand slipped to the back of her neck and drew her close to him. He needed to comfort her, and so he did it the only way he knew how.

  He kissed her.

  Her lips were softer than he’d imagined. He’d had trouble even looking at her the last few days because he’d wanted to kiss her so badly. And now he was.

  It was the sweetest kiss in his life. It made him want to protect her from everything bad. He wanted to keep Sam and the world at bay for a few minutes.

  Instinctively, he deepened the kiss and felt her tentative response. He realized she’d never been kissed before, and the thought pleased him. He tightened his hold around her waist. She melted in his arms.

  Noah wanted her. More than he ever wanted a woman he’d held. Gently, he coaxed her mouth open and pushed his tongue inside. He caught her hesitation and pulled back.

  “Trust me,” he whispered as his mouth came down on hers again. This time she eagerly accepted him. It sent a warmth rushing through him.

  The kiss turned from gentle to possessive. His hand went up to caress her face and then pushed into her upswept hair. The pins fell away. Honeyed curls cascaded about her shoulders. His fingers ran through the waves as he deepened the kiss and strove to make them as one, if only for a few moments.

  He pulled away from her mouth and pressed his lips along her jaw to her ear. He nibbled lightly on her earlobe and was rewarded with her shiver of pleasure. He claimed her mouth again, a fierce tenderness racing through him. She made the most delicious sounds in the back of her throat.

  His hand fell from her hair and went to fondle her breast when he stopped himself. What on God’s green earth was he doing?

  A man kisses a nice girl like this too much, and it leads to an end of his freedom. If there was one thing he wasn’t interested in, it was settling down. Passion be damned. He could find this kind of pleasure with any crib gal.

  He abruptly broke the kiss and pushed Jenny from his lap. He stood up, his knees weak, but his resolve strong. Until he looked at her.

  She was more tempting than any female he’d ever laid eyes upon, and he’d seen his share of beautiful women. Her lips were swollen and full from their passion, her moss green eyes misty. The hair tumbling down her back gave her a wild look. This was no sexless schoolmarm but a tiger waiting to be awakened. He knew he’d just messed with fire. He needed to put it out before it raged out of his control.

  “We can never do that again,” he said flatly.

  Jenny looked up at him in confusion. Damn, if he didn’t want to sweep her up and do it all again. He dug down deep for his resolve, hoping he’d still find it there.

  “I only wanted to comfort you. I never meant for things to go as far as they did.” He paused, and she looked as if she would speak. He didn’t need any womanly reasoning now. Every time a woman got logical, it was a lost cause. A man never knew what hit him.

  “You’re a nice girl, Jenny. Real nice. I took advantage of you in a weak moment. It can’t mean anything, though. You’re as pretty a girl as I’ve ever seen. You’ll probably kiss plenty of fellows before you settle down. But this is one man who’s never going to get married. So don’t look at me moonstruck now because we spooned a little. Let’s just forget it happened and continue on our way.”

  Jenny still felt dizzy from Noah’s kisses. In fact, she compared it to Dr. Randolph’s patients that had taken laudanum. Even as they awakened from a laudanum-induced sleep, they acted as if they moved underwater, so slow and languid were their gestures and words. She behaved the same way now.

  Her limbs were heavy. It made it difficult to focus on what Noah said. He had a stern look about him. She tried hard to listen to his words. When she finally comprehended their meaning, they devastated her.

  For a few stolen moments, she belonged. She had been safe. She was wanted. The kisses she’d shared with him had been beyond her understanding, but it hadn’t mattered. She needed him, and he returned the feeling. In his arms was the security she’d longed for her entire life.

  She hadn’t had time to conjure dreams of white, picket fences and children at their feet, and he sure didn’t let her. Couldn’t he have at least indulged her in that fantasy for a few minutes? This man awakened new feelings in her, a powerful wanting of something she barely grasped, and here he had already torn it down and shoved it aside.

  She remembered the letter she had received. Its single line ran over and over in her thoughts.

  Watch the man following you.

  She regarded him closely. He remained a mystery to her. His effortless charm and easygoing nature hid deeper waters, she was sure. She was suddenly suspicious of him. Weren’t consumptives prone to lethargy and coughing fits? The few that came into the clinic were always short of breath. Noah hadn’t displayed any of these symptoms, though he said his disease had been caught in the early stages.

  Despite her doubts, it was his words that hurt her almost as much as the knowledge her papa was a common thief and murderer who had passed up numerous opportunities to send for her.

  Rejection ran through her again. She was unwanted and unloved. But she was strong. She would survive this—and whatever lay ahead.

  In a calm, detached tone even a cold fish such as Miss Thompson would have found hard to voice, she said, “It’s already forgotten, Noah.” She leaned down to pour herself a cup of coffee. She let the bitter brew push away the thickness in her throat. With each swallow, she cl
osed her heart to the world. And Noah Webster.

  Noah stuck to her like a chigger on an ankle. She’d tried to cut him loose after they reached a tiny dot of a town, but he refused to say goodbye.

  “I’m in this for the long haul, Jenny. You agreed to pay me a certain fee to escort you to Prairie Dell. I’m counting on that income, to be paid upon our arrival. I won’t give away your secret,” and he’d watched her eyes go a deeper green than he thought possible, “but I aim to finish what we started. So shake a stick at me if you see fit, but you’re not about to turn me loose.”