“We haven’t had much opportunity to speak since you left Berwick.”
She stopped walking and withdrew her hand from his arm. “If you recall, our last conversations haven’t gone well. Perhaps it is better if we don’t repeat the experience.”
After averting his gaze, Kenneth rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d like to apologize for that. We should have handled ourselves better.”
Not appreciating his insinuation she was at fault, she glared at him. Her transgressions paled in comparison to his. So far, this conversation was not much better than the last.
“We?”
“I guess I’m not handling this right either.” He took a deep breath, then met her eyes. “I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t ask. Samantha, I know back in Berwick, you wanted to marry me. I wanted to know if you feel the same way.”
Head reeling, she kept her eyes focused on him. She held her body firm, willing it not to outwardly react. From the sadness passing through his eyes, she imagined she’d succeeded. Although she wanted to feel sorry for him, the knowledge he only wanted her dowry kept her emotions at bay.
Lifting her chin, she looked down her nose at him. “Your question is absurd. People don’t marry their lovers.”
He drew his lips in a hard line.
She sniffed as she looked back toward the picnic. “Please escort me back. Lord Klein is waiting for me.”
Without uttering a word, he nodded and granted her request. Once among the guests, she shared a picnic blanket with Lord Klein and noticed Kenneth with Miss Doutree and another young lady she hadn’t met. Jealousy simmered in her stomach every time Kenneth leaned to speak to either woman.
Attempting to have him reciprocate the emotion, she tried to pay attention to Lord Klein but failed. Even the wonderful treats prepared by Lady Linwood’s staff tasted like ash in her mouth.
How could Kenneth ask her such a question? Breathing in and out slowly, she tried to contain her emotions. Her hands refused to stop shaking, so she clasped them tightly in her lap. As her disloyal eyes returned to Kenneth’s direction, she prayed for rain or something to make this day end sooner.
When the majority of the guests milled about, Samantha remained seated, having no desire to engage in pleasantries. Unfortunately a young girl made eye contact, and then approached her.
“May I join you?” the girl asked.
Shading her eyes from the sun, Samantha pasted on a smile. “Certainly.”
The girl lowered herself to the ground in a graceful motion. Although young, she clearly had passed the awkward phase.
“I believe you and I are the only two not enjoying this event.”
Surprised, Samantha coughed. Had she been so obvious in her feelings? “I’m simply not feeling well today.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t bother you. I’m simply making an attempt to appear sociable. I’m Grace.”
“Nice to meet you. I’m Samantha.”
Grace smiled. “I believe many know you. When Lady Laramie told everyone she had been hiding a granddaughter, London could speak of nothing else all Season.”
“Yes, the Season.” Samantha couldn’t help but cringe. “How do people survive it? The amount of social gatherings is overwhelming now. I can’t imagine more.”
“I suppose we shall discover it together next year. That is when I will reach my eighteenth year.”
Trying to infuse her voice with excitement, Samantha smiled. “I look forward to it.”
“I’d venture to guess you are as anxious as I. Just know, the Season is full of men pretending to be something they are not.”
Catching Kenneth out of the corner of her eye, she saw him laughing at something Miss Doutree said. She dug her fingernails into her palms. How could he practically propose to her ten minutes ago, then lavish his attention on another so quickly? She seethed inside.
“I hate to be the one to tell you, but they are everywhere, not just during the Season.”
“True. Don’t be discouraged though. My sister, the Marchioness of Stonemede, found one of those pretenders, but he turned out to be a decent gentleman.”
“The trouble is trying to pick the good ones out of the bad.”
Grace nodded. “And because of that simple fact, unless I know the gentleman better than myself, I refuse to marry.”
Samantha completely agreed with Grace. In the future, she would have to take care with each gentleman she met. No one would receive deference from her unless she knew everything about him. The trouble being, up until her last night on Berwick lands, she thought she knew Kenneth.
Stumbling through the gaming tables, Kenneth clutched his glass tighter. The comforting sound of the cards and cries of success filled his head. The excitement and hope in the room felt as if it were a tangible object. If he wanted to, he could reach out and grasp it.
One hand, he told himself. That would be all he needed. The solution to his financial problems lay within this room. Multiple minute winnings would lead to larger ones, and eventually no need to marry.
His fingers tingled as he reached for his coins. He would only wager what he brought. How hard could it be to stop? He’d done it before.
Excitement welled up inside of him, bringing out a smile. He could do this. He could win. He could fix his future himself.
Sliding into an empty chair, he felt more carefree than he had in months. However, before he could produce the ante, a hand clasped his shoulder. Fear gripped him. Did they intend to toss him out? Would he add another humiliation to this day?
“Kenneth, I’ve been looking for you,” Braiden’s voice said from behind him. “I see you haven’t put in yet, so you can join me.”
With a heavy sigh, Kenneth murmured an apology to the other players and stood to join Braiden. The tables would be available later.
Braiden selected a spot, dropped himself into a chair, and indicated Kenneth do the same. The man didn’t look good.
“I would suggest we go somewhere else,” Braiden began, once Kenneth sat down. “But I don’t know where. I imagine your presence here means you don’t want to return to Linwood’s town house, and my presence finds me in a similar situation.”
“I’m content here.” Kenneth wanted to ask about the comment but wouldn’t pry. “Why have you been looking for me?”
After ordering a bottle of brandy, Braiden leaned his elbows on the table and surveyed Kenneth.
“The better question would be what you were doing at the gaming tables.”
“Having tea,” Kenneth replied dryly. “What do you think I was doing?”
“But why? Jonathan said you were past this.”
Kenneth clamped his mouth closed and looked in the opposite direction. On one hand he was grateful for the interruption, but he resented the necessity. Why did life have to be so cruel?
“I don’t want to marry,” Kenneth said after an extended pause.
“From what I heard, you have a few women to choose from already. I understood you had a brilliant time at the picnic today.”
Kenneth snorted. The picnic. He didn’t want to think about it. After Samantha rejected him, he did his best to pretend to be unmoved, but he felt raw inside. The only thing holding him together at this moment was the brandy.
“Why should I have to choose a woman? They are all trouble.”
With hands raised, Braiden shook his head. “You don’t need to tell me. I have firsthand knowledge. I’m just repeating what I heard.”
Confused by Braiden’s statement, Kenneth leaned back in his chair and observed his friend. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Thinking over their past conversations, he couldn’t remember a time when Braiden mentioned his wife, nor could Kenneth recall seeing her.
“I assume you’re referring to Lady Donetic.”
Braiden looked away as he took a long drink of brandy. “As you said, all women are trouble.” Braiden pierced him with a look. “Don’t marry anyone who has convinced you love exists. It doesn’t.”
“No truer words have been spoken,” Kenneth readily agreed.
If marriage was to be his fate, he would find a lady who he could stand to be around, but one he felt nothing for. He refused to experience the pain he saw in Braiden’s eyes.
Chapter 10
Pulling her shawl over her shoulders, Samantha exited the townhouse with Grace. Although they shared a slight age difference, Samantha found the girl to be a lively companion, and someone with whom she could relate.
“You will not be disappointed,” Grace assured. “Gunter’s ices are the most miraculous treat in all of London.”
“I can’t wait to try one.”
The brisk afternoon air felt soothing against her skin. These daily outings with Grace had kept her sane all week. After Kenneth’s almost-proposal, Samantha found it difficult to keep her mind on anything else.
She still couldn’t believe he had asked if she still wanted to marry him. The very question made it clear he only wanted her for her dowry. How had he expected her to react? Shaking her head, she attempted to put it from her mind.
“You are very quiet today. Is something ailing you?” Grace inquired.
“I’m sorry. I suppose I’m simply tired. London parties continue too long into the night without a care of the hour.”
Grace laughed. “That is why everyone sleeps until late in the morning. I’m trying to change my schedule now in order to prepare myself for the Season.”
“An excellent idea.”
They chatted along happily until they were within sight of Berkeley Square. Then she saw him. Kenneth. Her throat closed as his powerful legs quickly brought him within their range. As they remained on opposite sides of the street, she hoped he wouldn’t notice them.
“Look. There is Baron Berwick. He doesn’t look happy. Come, let’s see if we can cheer him up.”
Without waiting for a response, Grace headed in his direction. Samantha remained rooted to the spot for a few seconds. If she didn’t follow, Grace would wonder why. Grudgingly, Samantha crossed the street as she had no desire for her friend to question why she didn’t want to see him.
“Kenneth,” Samantha heard Grace say. “Lady Samantha and I were just on our way to Gunter’s Tea Shop and wondered if you would like to join us.”
His eyes snapped to hers, but she didn’t change her expression. She didn’t want him to know how his presence affected her. One part of her hoped he refused, but the other irrational side of her fixed her gaze upon his lips, desperate for him to agree.
“How can I resist such beautiful women? I’d be delighted to escort you.”
Grace squeaked in delight and then curled her arm around Kenneth’s as if she’d done it many times before. Biting her tongue at her illogical jealousy, Samantha continued behind them.
“Why do you look so upset?” Grace inquired of Kenneth as they moved along the street.
He turned to Grace, giving Samantha a glimpse of his emotionless profile. “I didn’t realize I appeared that way. I’m not upset. How could I be after your invitation?”
Grace swatted him with her free hand. “Such smooth talk. You certainly know how to capture a girl’s attention.”
Taking a deep breath, Samantha tried to keep herself under control. Her friend clearly was an accomplished flirt, and judging by Kenneth’s response, this was their typical manner of addressing one another. Surely he knew Grace hadn’t reached a marriageable age. Or did he just not care?
Once at Gunter’s, Kenneth insisted on buying their treats. Knowing of his finances, Samantha wanted to argue, but she didn’t wish to embarrass him in front of Grace. Clearly he didn’t want to appear as if he couldn’t afford to live the elegant lifestyle expected in London.
They took the ices across the street to enjoy the shade of the maples. As Samantha took the first bite, she closed her eyes in appreciation. The cold, sweet ice slipped down her throat. Taking another spoonful, a soft moan escaped her lips.
“You like it?” Grace asked, her face alight.
Samantha nodded and slid her gaze to Kenneth. Her breath caught. His open mouth and dark eyes made him look as if he wanted to devour her. She quickly looked away, unable to handle the intensity in his eyes. Her heart raced as her body acknowledged her mutual desire for him.
Images of the blissful week they’d shared together paraded through her mind. She peered at his strong hands, holding his treat tightly. What would it be like to have him feed it to her? Or to lick it off of him?
Sucking in a deep breath, she tried to clear the thoughts from her head. She wasn’t interested in him any longer, and she needed to remember that.
“Brianna and I used to come here frequently before she married and left London,” Grace continued on, oblivious to the tension radiating off them.
Kenneth cleared his throat. “She still manages to visit, though.”
“Yes.” Grace smiled. “I get to spend time with my wonderful nephew, Joseph. I can’t wait to bring him here.”
“He will enjoy your attention.” Kenneth patted Grace’s hand.
Samantha wanted to glare at him and tell him to stop flirting with Grace, but she remained quiet, keeping her face as expressionless as possible. What was wrong with her? Since she didn’t want him, he had every right to look for someone else. Forcing down another bite of the now tasteless ice, she surveyed the scenery.
“Are you coming to Brianna’s Christmas celebration this year in the country?” Seeing Grace’s hopeful eyes on Kenneth only furthered her jealousy. “You can come too, Samantha.”
Startled, Samantha focused on Grace. “I’m not familiar with the hostess and haven’t been invited to any celebration.”
Kenneth smiled. “Brianna is the Marchioness of Stonemede, Grace’s sister, and I believe you were just invited.”
“Please come,” Grace pleaded. “It will be fun. You and Lady Laramie are both welcome. I’ll have Brianna send you an official invitation if you’d like.”
“I don’t know.” Heat crept up Samantha’s neck at being forced to make a hasty decision.
Grace turned her gaze to Kenneth. “What about you? You wouldn’t disappoint me.”
“You know me too well. I wouldn’t dream of missing the opportunity to spend the holidays with you.”
Grace swatted his arm again before leaning toward Samantha. “He is one of the few decent gentlemen out there.”
Trying not to scoff, Samantha clenched her teeth and nodded. Clearly Grace didn’t know Kenneth as well as she thought. After all, a gentleman wouldn’t have treated her so ill. She couldn’t wait for the holidays. Kenneth would be gone. It would be nice to live without the constant worry of meeting up with him.
If her luck held out, he would find a wife during his absence and have no reason to return to London again. Although she didn’t want to admit it, that thought brought an ache to the center of her chest.
“You seem to be a respectable gentleman, so why are you wasting your time on me?” Miss Doutree peered over at Kenneth with the look he’d come to hate. It was as if she could see through him.
“Who says I’m wasting my time? You said yourself this morning is an exceptional day to stroll through Hyde Park, and the company is just as fine.”
She chuckled. “You must be careful with your words, my lord. My mother’s hearing is excellent.”
Kenneth glanced behind him to see Lady Burford turning her head to the side as if to refute her daughter’s words. He didn’t care. After all, he hadn’t said anything untrue.
“One can take her health as a good sign for your future.”
“Yes, but not for my present.” She glanced back at her mother and shook her head. “She shouldn’t bother us any longer. Now, answer my question honestly.”
Stopping, Kenneth turned to her. He wasn’t sure what she wanted from him. At this time, he wasn’t sure what he planned for her either. Over the past weeks, he’d come to see her as a friend and enjoyed her company.
“I already did.”
<
br /> She tilted her head to the side. “Don’t think I can’t see. I know where your feelings lie.”
Keeping his face expressionless, he took a step back. Did she mean Samantha? He thought he’d taken better care to hide his desire for her. Apparently he’d failed.
“I don’t know what you are referring to.”
After an unladylike snort, she grabbed his arm and resumed their pace. “You may think you’re fooling everyone, but not me. If you care so much for her, why not take her to Hyde Park?”
His jaw tightened. “She made her preference known.”
Miss Doutree observed him for a long while as they strolled. The feeling of her eyes upon him made him uncomfortable. What did she expect to see? He began to believe asking her on this outing was a mistake.
“I concede, and I will agree to save you my first waltz at my parents’ ball this evening. If I find you have exceptional dancing abilities, I shall save you another.”
“I accept your gracious offer and promise you shall find my skills will match your own.”
She grimaced. Although curious, he didn’t question her. Did she not believe him?
All the way back to Jonathan and Catherine’s townhouse, he thought over that look as well as their whole conversation. Kenneth didn’t like how he’d been so transparent in his desire for Samantha. Could everyone tell? Or was it only Miss Doutree’s uncanny ability to see through him?
“Thank you, my dear.”
Kenneth froze hearing the voice of his mother. What was she doing in London? Nothing good could come from her appearance. Her interference in his life was becoming a real nuisance.
“You are always welcome in my home, Aunt Pearl. You should know that,” Catherine replied with joy in her voice.
Closing his eyes, Kenneth resisted the urge to sigh. Now he would be stuck living with his mother again. Never before had he regretted his decision to sell the townhouse his father had purchased last Season, until now. At least there he would have his own study to escape to.
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