“Believe what you will. I know the truth.”
He raised an eyebrow as his gaze fell to her lips.
Terrified he would lean toward her, Samantha pushed herself further back in her seat. “Kenneth, we need to talk. Privately.”
Her chest moved rapidly as he held himself still. Without conscious thought, her tongue darted out to caress where she so desperately wanted his mouth. The moment lasted forever, yet it was gone in the blink of an eye.
“Again? Nothing good ever comes after a sentence like that. And I suspect I know the reason for this talk.” He shot her a look of exasperation. “But I shall allow it regardless. Apparently I can deny you nothing.”
After the strange remark, he stood and crossed the room. Left sitting there, she followed his progress to Lord Linwood. They shared a few words, then Kenneth winked at her before facing Grace, who performed for them.
The striking of the last note brought praises from the gathered crowd. But Samantha could only absently clap her hands in response. Kenneth was up to something.
“Lady Laramie,” Lord Linwood called, loud enough for her to hear. “Is it true the garden is haunted by ghosts?”
Her grandmother laughed, but a light shone in her eyes. “They say the second Earl of Laramie caught his young wife with another man. After murdering them both, he buried their bodies on opposite ends of the garden. Now their souls roam the garden at night, seeking out one another.”
“Are they out there now?” Grace asked.
“You never know when or where they’ll be.”
The story made Samantha’s chest constrict. Would that be her fate? To wander around for the rest of her life knowing the man she loved was lost from her? Looking over at her grandmother’s smiling face, she knew the answer. She could never put the beloved woman at risk in order to achieve a selfish goal. She could never be with Kenneth.
Chapter 17
“I think I heard something.” Grace’s excited voice sounded in the darkness.
Kenneth smiled at the answering murmurs. His ploy to get everyone out of the drawing room worked perfectly. In the garden, with the dark aiding him, he could slip away with Samantha with no one the wiser.
“This is ridiculous,” Lady Burford said. “Come, Rebecca, let’s go back inside with the other sane people.”
“You may go in, Mother,” Miss Doutree responded. “I’ll be perfectly fine out here.”
Shaking his head at the fervor that everyone accepted the idea of a ghost, Kenneth moved behind Samantha. The trick would be to pull her away without anyone noticing. He only wished the reason for a private meeting was more pleasant. The idea of being alone with her in the dark already brought a sweet ache to his body.
He reached out and lightly stroked his fingers across her hand. She shivered but didn’t turn around. However, she did slow her step so the two of them were in the back of the group.
When everyone turned left, he grabbed Samantha’s hand, ran back the way they came, and then weaved them through the rows of flowers. The cool night air hitting his face helped to calm his racing heart. With the aura of excitement filling him, his body became hypersensitive to the woman behind him.
Her warm fingers were tightly wound around his as if afraid he’d let go. Even if she couldn’t admit it to herself, she wanted him as much as he did her. Why couldn’t she accept it? Why couldn’t she accept him?
Stopping when the trail reached a dead end, he pulled her along to stand in the moonlight. She looked like an angel. Her eyes were bright as excitement increased her breathing and parted her lips. Simply gazing at her made his jaw ache. He could never accept life without her.
“You are spectacular.” His voice emerged more gravelly than he intended. “The beauty of the night can’t compare to your magnificence.”
A smile touched her face for a second before it fell, and she turned from him. When she crossed her arms and gripped her sides as if she were cold, a crack resounded in his body. She was breaking his heart. Again.
“There is no need to stall,” he managed to get out without a hint of the flood of emotions warring within him. “I assume you’re going to tell me you don’t wish to see me anymore.”
“Yes.”
He closed his eyes against the pain of hearing her say it. Why did she keep doing this to him? Anger mixed with the pain inside him.
“If you truly hold such distaste for me, why do you keep accepting my presence? You agree to meet me for outings. You accept my offer for dances. You stroll through the gardens and park with me. Why?”
A sob sounded in the small space. He gritted his teeth and willed himself not to react. Not to reach out and bury her in his embrace. Not to beg her to marry him. He held firm as the silence stretched. The broken pieces of his heart painfully continued to beat with irregularity, making his chest burn. He couldn’t take the separation any longer.
After a prolonged silence, she whipped around to face him. Her hands were on her hips as fury danced in her eyes. “It’s you who is the problem. Not I. Why can’t you accept the fact I don’t want you?”
He scoffed as his frustration with her began to obliterate the pain. She could lie to herself, but she couldn’t lie to him. He knew the truth.
“Because it’s not true. I can see desire in your face and in every inch of your body.” He slowly trailed his eyes down the length of her to emphasize his point. She shivered. “Ours is a mutual desire.”
She stomped her foot. “No.”
“Prove it.” He spread his arms out. “Kiss me.”
Her head reared back, but she made no move toward him.
He chuckled. “I see fear in your eyes. Are you scared of your passion for me or of discovering the depths-”
She grabbed his face and put a chaste kiss on his lips. When she pulled back, victory in her gaze, he glared at her. She couldn’t possibly believe he would let her get away with something so meaningless.
“As you see, I can kiss you without a care.”
“What I see is your concern. The speed at which you began and ended the kiss told me you don’t trust yourself with me.” He grinned, unable to contain the triumph from bubbling within.
She sighed and shook her head. “It’s very ungentlemanly to force a lady to do something she clearly doesn’t want to do.”
“Which makes me wonder why. Why don’t you want to kiss me? You’ve done it many times before, and I’m not simply flattering myself to say you enjoyed it.”
“Yes, but . . .”
“Kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it.”
After taking a deep breath, she took a step forward and placed her hands on his shoulders. His need for her to admit she desired him trumped any guilt he felt for pressuring her.
The kiss, however, proved nothing. Her lips were soft and warm against his, and her slow movement made his body burn, but she remained unmoved. Was he wrong? Had her attraction to him waned? The thought had him desperate to take control and make her love him, but he kept still. His interference would only serve to give her more to use against him.
When Kenneth was on the verge of giving up, Samantha’s hands gripped his coat as she pressed herself more fully against him. His head became lighter as his world righted.
Wrapping his arms around her, he allowed the nearness of her body to penetrate every inch of him. Her tongue plunged into his mouth as her hands ran down his chest. Spikes of pleasure spread through him as the urge to possess her overtook him.
As he contemplated the merits of lifting her skirts and merging his body with hers, her palms drifted lower until her fingertips grazed across the front of his trousers. He froze. Never before had her touch meant so much or affected him so strongly.
Under her ministrations his buttons were freed, but he couldn’t move. Blood pounded in his ears. He shouldn’t let her continue, but he feared he’d die if she stopped. As indecision tore at him, Samantha’s hand closed over his member.
He groaned as his hands clenched and unclenc
hed over her delectable bottom. Pure pleasure rained through his body at the sensation of flesh on flesh. She stroked him tentatively then quickly increased her boldness. He buried his face in her neck as fire licked at him.
They had to stop. Grasping her wrists, he drew her arms around his neck and her mouth back to his. When her seeking hands were occupied, he righted his clothing. A fire burned within him, but he couldn’t have further gratification tonight. His ears rung, demanding he finish this, so he eased away from her.
She narrowed her eyes and reached for him, but he stopped her with his hand. He’d already expended the last bit of control he possessed.
Her chest heaved. “So you don’t want me, but you force me to admit to my desire.”
The breathy quality of her voice only served to spear him with further lust. If they had any amount of privacy, he’d be deep inside her right now. How could she not see that? How could she not understand the rigid set of his body or the bulge in his trousers?
“My need for you sets my body aflame. Just a simple glance or word from you, and I’m lost. Don’t ever question my desire for you. It’s immeasurable.”
Her eyelids grew heavy as her lips parted. “Kenneth, I-”
“Don’t. I can’t right now. Go back to the others. Tell them you wandered off alone. I’ll be along shortly.”
She dropped her shoulders and offered him a resigned smile. Although he’d love for her to argue, to fight to have him, he couldn’t give her what she wanted. Not tonight.
However, he fully intended to make it up to her. Soon. Very soon.
Samantha pulled on a flounce on her gown while waiting in the drawing room for visitors. She resisted the urge to rip the offending material off. The fabric couldn’t decide how it wanted to lay and refused to conform to her vision. She felt as confused and directionless as the ruffle, and as a result, she wanted to eradicate it from existence.
Ever since she’d practically attacked Kenneth in the garden in plain sight of onlookers, she’d been in a bad mood. What had come over her? True, her body lived in turmoil when near Kenneth, but she normally could control herself better. There must have been some sort of magic cascading through the night while the story of the ghost lovers sung in her mind.
Tearing her gaze from her dress, she passed the time by counting each tap of her foot. Since her grandmother hadn’t been well this morning, Samantha was left to entertain anyone who arrived for the At Home. The only guests they received had already departed, leaving Samantha alone for the remainder of the hour.
“My lady,” the butler announced. “Lady Pearl Rawson, Baroness Berwick.”
Bile rose in Samantha’s throat as the woman entered the room. Lady Berwick had no business here, and this visit could only mean trouble.
“Please, have a seat,” Samantha offered, knowing she couldn’t let her grandmother down by forgetting to attend to her duties as hostess.
The baroness primly sat in a chair facing Samantha and folded her hands in her lap. “Is Lady Laramie unavailable?”
“Yes. I am here in her stead today. If you’d like to see her, you can call upon her another time.”
“That’s all right. I’m here to see you.”
After swallowing, Samantha pasted on a smile. “How may I help you?”
“I’ve come out of kindness to inform you our deal is over.”
Fear pricked Samantha’s skin. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“How do you expect me to keep your scandalous secret when you have gone behind my back to violate our arrangement?”
Samantha’s head reeled. What was the woman talking about? Had the baroness discovered she and Kenneth had disappeared together? They’d been careful and not raised an ounce of suspicion when they’d integrated back into the party. In addition, Lady Berwick hadn’t followed the group outside.
“I have done no such thing. Any association I share with your son is his doing alone. I’ve made my stance toward him very clear.”
“Lies. You say what you will, but I know the truth. In the garden last night, I saw you kiss him. It was you. He offered no encouragement, merely stood and did the gentlemanly thing while waiting for you to stop embarrassing yourself.”
Nausea rolled in Samantha’s stomach as her face grew hot. The baroness had witnessed Samantha’s weakness. If only she’d remained strong and unaffected, this would not be happening. Her world crumbled at her feet.
“That isn’t what happened. Didn’t you hear our conversation?”
“I didn’t need to, nor did I stay to see him put you in your place. Honestly, I felt mortified for you.”
“It was Lord Berwick. He-”
“Enough. Your secret is already out. I came by today to let you know and offer you the chance to save yourself from further humiliation when you try to convince my son to marry you.”
Samantha narrowed her eyes as anger exploded through her. How could this woman ruin her life when she had done nothing wrong? As reality further settled in, her fury mounted.
“I shall not have to do much convincing,” Samantha said through clenched teeth. “We will be on our way to Gretna Green this very day.”
The baroness slowly shook her head. “Is there no limit to your selfishness? You have already brought your grandmother down with you, and now you seek to ruin my son as well?”
“He has a choice. I don’t intend to keep secrets from him.”
“Do you think he would reject you when you come desperate for his help? He’s a gentleman and would aid you to his own detriment. After years he has finally achieved the recognition within Society he craved. Do you care so little for him you’d steal that from him?”
Shock rendered Samantha silent. Marriage to Kenneth would mean his name being sullied right along with hers. She couldn’t bring ruination upon him. Especially if he achieved happiness in his new life. She loved him too much to make him suffer.
Dropping her head, Samantha tried hard to force herself to breathe. The baroness had won. Both Samantha’s and her grandmother’s reputations would be shredded to tatters. She couldn’t handle this. Her heart pounded violently in her chest as if it couldn’t stand to be inside her any longer.
“So you came here today for what? To revel in your victory?” Samantha praised her ability to keep her voice even.
“To find out if you have a shred of decency in you. If you love my son at all, you’ll let him go.”
Unable to take the woman’s triumphant face any longer, Samantha stood. “Excuse me. I’m sure you can find your way out.”
Without waiting to see what the baroness would do, Samantha left the room. Her throat hurt and each step toward her bedchamber encouraged her unshed tears to fall. When she made it inside, she closed the door and leaned against it.
As her heart ripped in two, she slid down until she sat on the floor, covering her face with her hands. Why did everything have to turn out like this? She would have been better off had her grandmother never discovered her. Would she still be hiding out as Sam? Or would she have succumbed and married Mr. Lemange? Either possibility sounded favorable compared to the social ruin she and her grandmother would have to endure.
Her head shot up as anger shot through her blood stream, drying her tears. It didn’t have to end like this. If her grandmother didn’t stand beside her, the kind woman’s reputation would be saved. Knowing her grandmother would never leave her, Samantha intended to take the decision from her.
After fishing her old satchel out from the bottom of a trunk, Samantha pulled her Sam costume from underneath the mattress. As the outfit belonged to her father, she hadn’t had the heart to leave it behind. She felt grateful for her foresight. The clothing also offered her a reminder of the happy time she had spent with Kenneth. A stab of pain pierced her heart.
As she stuffed a few essentials into her bag, she pushed aside the memory. Once again she had to drastically alter her life. Perhaps this would be the last time.
Taking a deep breath she stil
led her shaking hands. She could do this. Tears welled in her eyes again, but she blinked them away. Pushing thoughts of how she was saving her grandmother to the front of her mind, she snuck out of the house and hired a hackney.
Settling back in the seat, she allowed the heavy decision to weigh on her shoulders. But not crush her. She would not buckle. She would persevere. She would survive.
“I’ve never seen a man go through such lengths for a woman,” Froste informed Kenneth before finishing his brandy.
After signaling the staff of Ravenhurst to leave the bottle, Kenneth stared at his friend’s smiling face. “You’ve never encountered a lady as worthy as Samantha. She’s worth all the trouble and so much more.”
“When should I begin checking for the banns to be called? Or have I already missed them?”
Kenneth laughed. “As soon as she accepts me, you can guarantee I’ll have a special license granted to make her mine immediately.”
“Have you discovered why she refuses you? Even I am clueless to her thinking. Her preference for you is clear.”
The question brought a painful tightening in Kenneth’s chest. He didn’t have an answer. However, he fully expected his and Samantha’s situation to have changed by now. He purposely avoided her these past two days in order to allow her to reflect on their experience in Lady Laramie’s garden.
If his luck held, he would be proposing to Samantha again in the next day or so. Anticipation further constricted his chest and his breathing. He could barely stand the wait. It shouldn’t be long now.
“You know women. They enjoy making men work to secure their affections.”
“Which is why I prefer the company of a good brandy. Less work, and by the end of the bottle, you don’t even remember what drove you to drink in the first place.”
Catching the Baron Page 20