“No, I don’t have any idea what it’s like being you, Holly. And for that I’m grateful.”
A deafening silence fell between them, Holly finally calming down. When she eventually spoke, her voice was a slight whisper.
“What’s happened to us?”
“I think we both know the answer to that. You sold me out. You put me and my son in danger for a man. One you knew was capable of murder. That is unforgivable.”
“So I’m not allowed to make a mistake?”
“The fact that you think that’s all this was is a mistake …” Abby shook her head, blinking to clear the tears from her eyes. “you’re pathetic Holly.”
Holly tossed her bag in the backseat then opened her door to get in. She sat down and got ready to close the car door, but Abby held it open, leaning over to look at her.
“I want you to know that I’m going to call the school district. They need to know—”
“I’ll report myself,” she whispered, still staring out the windshield. “How can I counsel kids to make right choices when I can’t even do that myself?” She turned to look at Abby. “I’ll turn in my resignation on Monday.”
“That’s not good enough.” She looked at Holly, seeing right through her, eyes wide pools of forced concern.
Holly lowered the bill of her Oakland Raiders cap, her ponytail pulled through the gap in the back.
“What do you want me to do?”
“You know the answer to that.”
“I’ll never get another job in the industry.”
“Exactly. And you shouldn’t.”
“Abby—”
“You put my son’s life in danger. I would never be able to live with myself if you were allowed to do that to another child.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a little melodramatic?”
Holly laughed bitterly. “Where have I heard that before? The fact that you think I am shows a much bigger concern.” She glanced at Holly again, seeing the unmistakable uncertainty. She stood up, looking off in the distance. “Like I said either you do it or I will.”
“I will,” Holly said, her voice barely more than a whisper that pinged with attitude.
“Um, yeah, since that whole trust thing is blown between us, I’ll give you until Friday to let them know first. But I will be checking in with them after that.”
“You know I’m never going to be able to get a teaching job again. The baby and I will end up living in poverty. And what if I face charges of some sort?”
She noticed Holly’s voice quiver. She raised an eyebrow and shrugged her shoulders. “You might. If you care about your baby, you’ll think about adoption.”
Holly looked at her as she brushed away her tears. “Fine. But when I’m rotting in some jail cell, my child without a mother, know I’m there because of you,” she accused Abby, her voice hard.
“No, it’s all you, Holl. This is all on you.”
She shut the door, closing a chapter of her life, and watched the car until the taillights disappeared.
30
The remainder of July passed blissfully uneventful as it segued into August. School started earlier in Colorado than in California. Both Abby and Cooper were dragging their feet in acknowledging it each for their own reason. Abby relished the moments spent with Cooper before he morphed into a being from another planet caused by too much time trying to impress friends. Not to mention she appreciated the extra set of hands helping around the resort.
She watched with silent joy as Cooper tried to cram six more weeks of summer sun and fun into the remaining two he actually had, pushing the envelope on how late he stayed up each night, trying his hardest to make the most of every last minute of summer freedom.
Well into a Sunday evening, a week before school was to begin, Abby was lounging on the back porch swing reading a book by Elizabeth Gilbert, a glass of iced tea by her side. Victoria and Sam both had the day off, Jeremiah was in the store, and Cooper was playing with Gus in the backyard, stopping to talk with guests if they happened by. She looked up to see the gentleman from cabin three approach Cooper. She watched with peaceful joy, grateful she didn’t have to worry about him. Well, not more than the average parent worries about their kids, anyway. Cooper jogged up to the porch and plopped down on the steps.
“What did Mr. Hutchinson want?”
“Wanted to know when Gabriel’s going to be back. He has something for him. I told him I didn’t know but it would be soon.”
“How do you know that?”
“Duh!”
Abby chuckled.
“I wanna be a vetranarian when I grow up.”
“Veterinarian.”
“That’s what I said. Come ’ere, Gus!” He slapped the porch beside him and Gus came running up to him.
Abby laid the book down in her lap. “What made you decide that?”
“Cause a what happened to Gus. Did you ever find out where he got it from? The fudge?”
“I’m not positive, no.” Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie. It’s not like Hunter would have confessed to it.
“Huh.” Gus plunked down heavily beside him as Cooper scratched his belly. “Well, at least he hasn’t gotten into anymore. Me and Johnny have three classes together this year.”
“Johnny and I. And I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because the teachers don’t know what they’re in for.” Her years as a teacher seemed an eternity ago. “You better not get into trouble, young man. I don’t want to have to come pick you up.”
“Trust me.” He grinned at her and she laughed. “Did my dad ever love me?”
His question caught her off guard. It felt like a stone dropped from the sky and plunked her on the head.
“How could anyone not love you, Coop? You’re an amazing kid.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re my mom.”
“That’s not true.” He looked down at Gus. “Look at me, Cooper.” He focused with all his might petting Gus. “Coop?” He slowly looked up and met her eyes. “I said that because it’s one hundred percent true. No one who doesn’t see that deserves you. No matter who it is.”
“Love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too. Don’t you ever forget it.”
“I’m gonna go check on Grandpa.”
She watched as he walked away from the porch, her heart splitting in half. She struggled with the fact that he was going into sixth grade already. After some testing, the school administrators in the charter school back home decided it was in Cooper’s best interest to bump him from second to fourth grade. After serious consideration of their suggestion, she agreed. When they moved to Colorado, she worried that he would have difficulty in a new school with being the youngest in the class and with an entirely different curriculum. But he’d blended in seamlessly.
She longed for the days when he was a little towhead tyke, back when she was confident she could keep him safe. The entire ordeal with Hunter made her realize how little control she actually had.
She looked at the semi-permanent tent the boys kept over the clothesline. They’d wanted to sleep in it during the nights Johnny stayed over. Until recently, she hadn’t let them. They had only been allowed to be in it during the daytime. On two occasions she had allowed them to take the PlayStation out there, running the cords and cables to the house and in through the window that faced the tent.
Johnny startled her one afternoon when he told her, “Ms. S., I wish you were my mom, too.”
It was the opportunity she was waiting for to inquire about what she had always wondered.
“Johnny, do you ever get to see your mom?”
“Nah. My grandma’s pretty much my mom.”
“What happened to your real mom?” Cooper asked.
“She didn’t want me,” Johnny said, his tone so matter-of-fact it made Abby’s heart ache for him.
“Join the club. My dad didn’t want me, either. Said he did, but …” His voice t
railed off.
Anger percolated when she thought about the two people, Johnny’s mom and Hunter, who had caused the boys to feel unwanted, and it twisted her heartstrings into knots.
The last weekend before school was to start had arrived, and on Friday night Abby rallied up the troops to gather for a bonfire. Cooper, Johnny, Sam—who’s shoulder was healing nicely, though he wouldn’t be playing college baseball this season—and Victoria pulled up chairs around the ring of rocks that encircled the bonfire pit. Gabe said he’d be there as soon as he could get away from work. Jeremiah had even decided to join them.
Cooper and Sam built an enormous, blazing bonfire, the biggest and best they’d had all summer. Johnny sat on the ground by Gus while Gus lapped up the attention Johnny lavished on him. Sam started singing the song “Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better,” using a stick for a microphone and pointing at Victoria.
Victoria looked at Abby and laughed, the blazes from the fire dancing in her eyes. “Boys!”
Abby sat back and watched the exchanges and easy camaraderie between Sam and Victoria, thrilled they’d found their way to each other, sad that it had to take what it did for that to happen. She drank in the magic of the night, aware of the presence of each of these people who had become so important in her life. All of the events that had unfolded over the summer melted away in the heat of the flames, and she wished she could sit out here forever. She wanted to bottle up this time so she could re-live it over and over again.
She was admiring the bright stars, twinkling their presence in the evening sky, when Gus’s ears suddenly perked up. His head jerked around to look behind him.
Her gaze followed to the area that held Gus’s attention. She strained to see in the distance against the blackness of the night. She heard a slight rustling of leaves just past the far corner of the house, but it didn’t ignite her fear tonight. All was grand with the world. She turned her attention back to the fire.
Finally, at midnight, smelling of bonfire smoke and bellies full of marshmallows, Hershey’s chocolate, and graham crackers, they extinguished the fire and called it a night. Sam and Victoria went home, Cooper and Johnny went to Cooper’s room to play for the one-hour limit they were given, and Jeremiah headed to his room. Abby locked up the house, moving from doors to windows, as Gus followed her from room to room. Gabriel sent her a text at ten, stating he had just gotten off work and would be up in the morning instead of tonight.
She climbed the stairs to her room, closing the door softly behind her. She opened her bedroom window just enough to get the night breeze that carried in the fresh smell of the water, pine, and mountains. Once she turned off the lamp, she opened the curtains so she could see the bright moonlight glimmering off the water’s smooth surface.
She stood by her window, her light terry robe wrapped around her, her forehead pressed against the cooling glass. Visions of the summer floated through her memory—Simon and Maggie’s departure, as well as Simon’s kindness and Maggie’s near hostility, her first encounter with Stewart, meeting Gabriel and their developing relationship, not to mention the revelation that her heart had finally opened once again.
A smile played on her lips as she thought about Sam, Victoria, Johnny, and especially Cooper, and how this was the perfect life she had envisioned for him. Being free to explore nature in all its wonder, Gus by his side. And even her father. He’d grown into a more peaceful man. The loss of her mother and his life partner was still crippling for him at times, and she thought she’d heard him crying one night as she passed by his room, but she believed her mother was everywhere around them here. She could feel her presence in the breeze that rippled the trees, the brilliant sunshine that was like nothing she’d ever seen in the city, in the light of the magical moon, and even in the showers that freshened many an afternoon. If she could feel it, she was certain her dad could, too.
She watched the moonlight dancing on the water below, the stars twinkling in the inky sky over the barren mountains, giving them life. She thought of the Disney movie she’d watched with Cooper a million times when he was little. What was the name of that movie? Funny how she couldn’t remember the name of the movie, but she could so distinctly remember the warmth of his little body cuddling up next to her, his chubby little hand always playing with her hair. She remembered his sticky fingers from eating cereal and toast with jam. And she remembered how his eyes bore into hers as he said, I love you, Mama, this much, as he stretched his arms as wide as he could.
She remembered so many little details, but not the name of a movie they’d watched over and over until he nearly committed the words to memory, saying the lines along with the characters. She was starting not to remember Hunter in the context of husband and father. Only terrorist. She felt a sliver of pity for him and the emptiness life must hold for him at his own hands.
She wrapped her arms around her waist and began to turn away from the window when she caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye down by the boathouse. She stood motionless straining to see what it was she saw so briefly. There was absolutely nothing there but the silence of the night and her slight reflection in the window from the dim nightlight that snaked into her room from the adjoining bathroom.
She chuckled to herself, realizing that’s probably exactly what she saw. Her own reflection in the window when she turned to move away from the window. No more of the paranoia and hyper-vigilant watching about her surroundings that she was a victim of her own fear. She was no longer a victim of Hunter’s abuse. She was a survivor. She had the final victory over him.
She unwrapped her robe, letting it fall to the floor. The tie-dyed T-shirt, worn so much it was nothing but thin gauze in many places, brushed the tops of her thighs. Gus had made himself comfortable in his bed that lay on the floor right beside Abby’s bed, a mirror of the one he had in Cooper’s room. As she stood up from giving Gus one more dose of attention, her eye caught a flash of movement again from down by the lake. She had lived in fear for so long, that it had caused a worn groove. She instinctively felt a prickle of fear, dismissing it when she remembered she had nothing to fear anymore. The movement she saw was when she moved. Her own reflection. Again.
She crawled between the cool sheets, pulling the light fleece blanket up to her chin and lay looking at the ceiling. One thing was for sure, when she saw Henry again in the next life, she would have to thank him for the gift of life he gave her. Twice.
31
Abby had no sooner fallen asleep and Gus barked, jerking her awake. At first, she thought she was dreaming, but Gus’s persistent barking woke her enough to realize it wasn’t a dream. She reached down to pet him, hoping her touch would quiet him and he would go back to sleep. He lay back down and his bark turned into a low growl that vibrated down his back.
Her eyes popped wide open when she remembered the movement she saw outside. Looking at her clock, it had been only a half hour prior. By now, Gus had calmed down and was settling back in to go to sleep. Abby, however, couldn’t fall back to sleep. She hovered near a sleep state, yet not quite falling into it for the remainder of the short night.
She woke to the irritating buzz of her alarm, reaching blindly for the snooze button until she remembered Gabe was coming this morning. A smile spread across her lips. She stretched, reaching her arms to the top of the bed, touching the knotted, gnarly cedar post, her feet as far to the bottom as she could reach, and made a loud sound as she yawned. Gus jumped up and stood at the side of her bed, chin resting on the edge of the mattress.
“Gotta go potty, Gussie?” She planted a kiss on the top of his head, picked her robe up from the floor where she had let it fall a few short hours ago, and slid into it, wrapping it loosely around her. She closed the door to Cooper’s room on her way downstairs, Gus close on her heels.
She stepped barefoot out on the porch and watched as Gus did his morning routine of sniffing for the perfect place to go. He then continued to explore before trotting back to her, stopping to look
at the boathouse briefly before he completed his routine to get his morning treat from his master.
The cloud cover didn’t even faze her today. As much as she loved the sun, the rain provided the opportunity to hang out inside and play Monopoly, Life, or watch a good movie. Besides, rain in the mountains typically didn’t last very long anyway. At least that had been her experience since she’d moved here.
Gus’s feet, wet from wandering in grass soaked with morning dew, left big paw prints behind him on the kitchen floor. A thin hazy mist hung in the air, making it feel chillier than usual.
She tied her robe a little tighter and turned to go in the house to start the coffee maker. Sam and Victoria would be arriving in less than an hour and she had a shower to take and breakfast to get ready for the boys. It was doubtful they would wake up anytime soon, but she set the cereal and bowls on the table and the bread by the toaster in case she was gone when they woke up.
Holly had teased her many times that she wanted to be Abby’s kid so she could have everything done for her, too. That, of course, was followed up by Holly’s wisdom from being a school counselor that Abby was teaching Cooper to be dependent rather than self-sufficient. She told Abby, The best thing you can do for your child is to teach him how to get along without you. To which Abby had replied knowingly, Remember that when you have kids of your own. Now Holly was getting that chance.
Abby’s chest felt heavy as she thought of Holly and all that had gone down. She prayed for Holly to consider giving her baby up for adoption. That or a miracle that would make the father someone other than Hunter and that Holly would instantly transform. Right.
Abby was in the store transferring the money from the safe to the cash register when Sam came through the door.
“Hey Ms. S.” His usually happy, sunny voice sounded tired this morning.
“Weather got ya down, Sam?”
“Nah,” he assured her.
Finding Abby: A Romantic Suspense set in the Colorado Mountains (Whispering Pines Mysteries) Page 29