I rode and rode, picking a trail that took us north and then followin’ a path that Sean and I would often use with Uncle Baldie. I took a shortcut around a cliff’s edge and down tae a riverbank and along it. I found a shallow place for crossing, and then climbed intae the hills on the south side. All the while I watched behind us until I felt sure that I had lost whoever had trailed us.
Kaitlyn woke. “I’m really hungry.”
I dug in the bag for a protein bar and passed it to her.
“We will be stoppin’ soon, for the night, and we will hae more tae eat then.” I steered the horses intae a small clearing. Twas on a hilltop, but on the south side, hidden by rocks and a few trees and was sunny there. She ripped open the bar and stuffed it in her mouth chewing happily. The snow had melted, revealin’ a few patches of grass. I tied the horses so they could graze.
“Let me unpack.”
I pitched our tent, loading the sleeping bags intae it and turnin’ on the heater that would warm them. Then I returned and held out my arms for her tae drop intae. She slid down and was a weight I was relieved tae hold. I carried her tae the tent and managed tae crawl her inside.
She collapsed ontae the sleepin’ bag.
I said, “I love ye, mo reul-iuil, but ye are a frightful smell.”
“I know. I’m too weak. I need more food.”
I found another bar this one made with dark chocolate, one of her favorites. I opened the end and when her hand didn’t raise for it I put it to her lips. She ate and chewed and bit it again and then chewed more.
“They dinna feed ye?”
“No.” She burst intae tears and sobbed intae the bedding. I put m’hand on her shoulder and let her cry for a long time until her cries slowed. Then I passed her a bottle of water and she drank long drafts and passed it back tae me. I drank and closed the lid and returned it tae the pack.
“Tis warm enough for ye?”
“Yes, finally.”
She lay there for a moment more, her arm over her face. “Are you here to rescue me, are you taking me home?”
“Nae, mo reul-iuil, tis nae possible.”
“Oh.” She lifted her elbow and looked up at me. Her chin trembling. “And Isla and Archie...?”
“They are safe with Emma and Beaty.”
“I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
“I ken, but it might have killed us tae hae tae do it.”
She put her arms by her sides and stared up at the top of the tent. “So this is it?”
“Lady Mairead will try tae bring us home, tis up tae her.”
“Well, those odds are pretty good, I think.”
“Aye, if it can be done, she is the one tae do it.”
She nodded. She sat up with a groan and began unwrapping the tartan around her shoulders. The front of her shift was filthy and stained with milk. She tried tae unbuckled her belt, but twas too uncomfortable, so I kneeled over her, unlatched the buckle, and pulled it away. She shifted her hips and I drew her skirt down. “We need to wash that.”
“I ken.” I kicked it from the tent.
“Ugh.” She looked down on her stained shift.
She pulled it up and up and raised so I could help pull the fabric up. At her shoulders she winced raisin’ her arms so I pulled it all the way off. She whimpered from the pain. I saw her shoulder, a stripe of a bruise across it. “Och mo reul-iuil.” I drew her forward tae see. “Och, tis painful tae see what they did tae ye.”
“It hurt so bad.”
“Lay down.”
She lay on her stomach so I could see it all, the lashings, the dark purple bruises, the blood just under the skin, the welts. Twas tae break m’heart.
“Och, why were ye punished?”
Her voice was small. “Because I wouldn’t pray. Because I couldn’t speak the language. Because I touched the baby when I fed him. Because I needed to go to the bathroom.”
“Och, ye were made tae feed their bairn?”
She nodded.
I got the first aid kit from the bag. “I should hae killed them.” I rubbed salve on one of the welts. “I should hae strung ‘em up on the walls and ripped their entrails out.”
“Ugh. Although I do appreciate the sentiment, I’m glad you didn’t.” She winced when I rubbed the salve on a welt across her lower back. “Is it going to scar?”
“I daena think so, perhaps here.” I ran m’finger along the worst of them, “but ye will still be perfect.”
“Good thing you didn’t kill them. They might have been your great-grandparents. I might hae nursed one of your ancestors.”
My fingers paused on her skin. “I canna think on it, daena make me.”
She waved a hand. “I need your fingertips here.” I touched her lips and she kissed my fingers. I found a cloth, poured a bit of water to dampen it, and I cleaned her, drawing the cloth up and down her skin from her bare shoulder, across her wounded back and down and around her perfect arse, then down her thighs tae her calves.
She sighed. “Are you thinking about how much you like the sight of my arse, Master Magnus?”
“Aye, I like it, but also, there were a great many other emotions at the sight of ye this day.”
She nodded. “I’m sleepy.”
“I will get a fire goin’ and clean yer shift. I should be on guard for men that might hae followed us.” I pulled the sleepin’ bag over her naked form.
She asked, “Do you have weapons?”
“Aye, verra many weapons.”
“Good.”
I got up with a groan.
“Are you hurt?” she mumbled, close tae sleep.
“Nae, just sore, I am healing.”
Thirty-eight - Kaitlyn
“Magnus?” I called from inside the tent.
“Aye?”
“I’m so fucking hungry and thirsty. It’s dark, what time is it?”
He climbed in the tent, rubbing his hands for warmth and blowing on them. “Ye warm enough?”
“Yes, so much, this heater is so good. It’s cold?”
“Aye, and growin’ colder. Want some coffee?”
“I want coffee so badly I never wanted anything more. Do you have chocolate? I want chocolate more. I know I just said coffee, but chocolate, more water, and something warm for dinner.”
He passed me the water bottle then left the tent and returned with a mug of coffee.
I sat up in the bedding to drink while he dug through the bag near the bed and handed me a Hershey’s kiss.
“Jesus Christ, this is so important to me right now.” I peeled the silver wrapper off and popped it in my mouth, moaning happily.
It would have been perfect except for the engorgement of my breasts. They were full and hot. I groaned, “I’m so full of milk, I need Isla. Where is she?”
“She is with Emma and Beaty. I’ll go get yer shift, tis dry I think.”
He unzipped the tent. When he went out, a cold wind whipped through.
He returned with my clothes.
“Wow,” I sniffed the linen, it wasn’t perfect but close enough. “It smells so much better, what did you do?”
“I warmed some snow tae wash it and then hung it in the wind tae dry. I am glad it dried, twill be a howlin’ wind tae night, and will be cold as a dead man’s nose.”
I groaned. “Nice visual. Are the horses okay?”
“Aye, I hae seen tae them. We rode a long way this day. They will happily stand for the night even in the cold.”
“It’s night already?”
“Tis afternoon, but tis dark. Twill be a verra long night, we might as well get comfortable.”
“I took a nap and now I’ll have some coffee and then I’ll sleep again. I think I can sleep even with caffeine, I don’t think I’ve slept in days.” I sipped from my coffee. It was warm and filling me with warmth from the inside, except — “I have to pee and poop.”
“Ye are goin’ tae hae a cold arse.”
“Great.”
He dug through a bag and pul
led out a pair of boots. “I guessed ye were going tae be in this situation.”
I pulled on my shift.
Magnus grinned. “I hope ye will take it off again when ye are finished.”
“Yes, definitely.” I slid my feet into the boots and he passed me a parka. “For me?”
“Aye, I brought two.”
“God, you thought of everything — got any tissue?” He found a small package in the first aid kit.
I crouched at the door, peptalking myslf: this was going to take a lot of energy — I had better be ready to go. As soon as I got out I needed to accomplish the task. Was I sure?
Yep, three days worth.
I joked, “Okay, I’m ready, fastest poop in the world. Which way should I go?”
He pointed to the right of the tent. “Ye can relieve yerself under the tree. We will remove it in the morn. Go fast, daena turn intae a popsicle.”
I laughed, unzipped the tent, and raced outside. There was a tree. The wind was whipping. The temperature was frigid. I pulled up my shift and the bottom of the parka, crouched and pooped. Wiped. Jumped up and rushed back into the tent.
“Cold enough for ye?”
“So cold! So freaking cold! Oh my god, so cold! But I pooped, so that’s a good thing.”
I rubbed my hands and blew on them. I removed the parka. Then, for Magnus, removed my shift. Squealing from the cold I dove into the sleeping bag.
Magnus had laid out some meat and cheese from his provisions. We sat wrapped in the bags and ate a meal while sipping our coffee.
I sighed at the last bit of warm drink. “That was wonderful and so necessary.” I placed our food and mugs tae the side trying to hide that I was blinking a tear away.
So much crying. So much loss and what the hell were we going to do?
I pulled the sleeping bag up around my head so only my eyes peeked out. “I just miss Isla so much. And I miss Archie, his little fingers wrapped in my hair. His little sweet sweaty brow when he’s sleeping on my chest, but Isla.... I ache for her. My heart. My arms. Her sweetness. Even her cry. Even her babyshit. I miss it so much. And look at my poor breasts.”
I pulled away the sleeping bag to show him. They were gigantic, round, like they were going to explode.
“It looks verra painful.”
“It is! It hurts so bad. Do we have a towel?”
He dug in a bag for a towel. I put it under a breast and did the motion that Emma had taught me: ‘expressing’. A second later there was the feeling of my milk letting down and streams sprayed into the towel. I laughed in relief. “Oh my god, that feels so good. It’s just — ugh, I’m wetting the whole towel.” The force of the stream subsided. Slowly. “This is so awkward. There’s milk pouring out of me.“
“I ken, tis quite the miracle.”
I dropped the wet towels beside our sleeping bags and curled up against his side. It took a little fidgeting to get my breasts in a comfortable position and my back in a good place, so many bruises, everything hurt.
“Do you think we’ll be going home tomorrow?”
“I daena ken.”
I twirled my finger around on his chest. “I mean, no matter how long it takes to figure out, no matter what it takes, Lady Mairead will be able to come. She has to, eventually. We can’t be stuck here indefinitely. Then she’d need to find the transmitters, and find us, but that won’t take long, and then we all go home. And we can go home to just the time when we last saw Isla and Archie. She won’t even miss us, right? And Archie will, but he’s old enough to understand that we’ll be back soon.”
“Aye.”
“So that’s what we need to focus on. We’ll be home to see Isla and Archie any day now. Really soon, right?”
He kissed the top of my forehead.
I thought and twirled my finger.
“Because if you think about it, Magnus, if the vessels could go back in time to the year 1557 and then stopped, they must be able to go further back — there’s no reason why not, like there’s nothing special about that date. At all. Your mother will figure it out. You’re too important.”
I sat up and wrapped the second sleeping bag around myself. And looked down on him. “So tell me what happened.”
And so he did.
Thirty-nine - Kaitlyn
“Fraoch is your brother?”
“Aye. I came verra close tae killin’ him for it. We met in St Augustine because Roderick hired him tae kill me.”
I took in a deep breath. “How can that be?”
“Roderick always wanted tae twist people tae his own evils.”
“No, I mean, Fraoch has a mother, a father, how—?”
“I think the father he kent wasna his real father. And his mother died afore she could tell him of it. Donnan sired him and there was a vessel given for his safe-keeping.”
“And Hayley knew?”
“She did, only about the vessel.” He shook his head. “I daena ken why she dinna tell me.”
“Maybe the whole, ‘you sometimes have to kill members of your family’ thing.”
Magnus groaned, the dim lamp-light shining on his dismay. “Tis my way? I am such a cold-hearted killer that I am nae tae be trusted?”
“That’s not exactly—”
“I can kill, I am verra good at it. Tis true. I was bested on that battlefield. I turned m’self over tae Roderick, I had lost, and then the battle turned, and... I killed so many men, Kaitlyn. I could barely stop once I had begun.” He raised his head. “Did I tell ye what Sean said?”
“No, what did Sean say?”
“He said for me tae calm down, that I had killed enough a’ready.”
“That’s rough.”
“Aye.”
“That wasn’t exactly what I meant though, I meant, if you think about it, that as the king, you can’t really trust someone who also has a claim to the throne. You have to always be on guard with them. So maybe Hayley and Fraoch didn’t know what the vessel meant, and they didn’t want to worry you. Because Fraoch is a loyal friend, maybe they didn’t want to upset that.”
“Aye, maybe. He was keeping a great many secrets.”
“It would have been really difficult to explain, ‘Remember when we met? I was hired to kill you.’ You might not have forgiven him.”
“True.”
His hand squirreled under the covers to my knee and rested on it.
I said, “I drank too much coffee, I can’t sleep.”
“I canna either.”
I said, “Thank you for coming for me. I can’t imagine a world where you wouldn’t. But it’s such a big thing to do. Thank you. I wouldn’t have survived without you.”
“We are in this taegether, mo reul-iuil. As soon as I heard ye were here I was packin’ tae come.”
I pulled his hand up and kissed the knuckles. “I promised you a world where you wouldn’t have to kill, not like that.”
“Aye, but the world has a way tae it, one that ye canna control. Ye are a woman who wants the best — for me and our bairn. I ken ye want tae keep the trouble from reachin’ me, but trouble seems tae follow me and find me. Ye might kiss my fist and tell me everything will be okay, but also, mo reul-iuil, sometimes it inna okay, and sometimes yer kisses winna protect me. But I appreciate that ye try. If a kiss could do it, twould be yours.”
We sat for a few moments in the lantern glow, lost in our own thoughts.
I said, “I killed her.”
“I ken.”
“I’m a murderer.”
“Nae, twas in self-defense. Tis nae a sin, ye were protectin’ yerself and me and yer family. Did she swing at ye?”
“Yes, we fought and she pulled a gun on Hayley.”
“Och, then tis nae a sin nor a crime. She attempted tae kill yer friend. Ye were defendin’ Hayley. Tis nae murder.”
“I would definitely want you as my lawyer if it came to a court trial.”
“It would nae be necessary. I am your king, I say it inna murder.”
“Good.�
�� I settled down beside him. “She said she would rather Archie die than live with me, but somehow, I still feel sorry for her.”
“Tis yer guilt. Ye will need tae pray on it, tae clear yer mind, but ye canna hold it inside, and ye shouldna. The truth is, Kaitlyn, Donnan was the terrible person who took her from her family. I made her son my heir and I provided for her. She had the option tae go home. I tried tae do the right thing by her, but she was always against me. And always a threat tae ye. And ye hae been kind tae her son, daena hold the guilt.”
“Okay, I’ll try not to.” I paused for a bit, then added, “But let’s not tell Archie how it happened, okay?”
“There was a war. Twas Roderick the Usurper against Magnus the First of Riaghalbane in the year 2385. Bella took the side of Roderick. She lost her life in the battle. Tis the way history will tell the story.”
“Thank you.” I added, “So now it’s just waiting for Lady Mairead. She should have been here already, but any day now...”
“Aye...”
“Or the day after.”
His voice got low and slow. “Now I am fallin’ asleep.”
“Me too, finally.” I reached over and switched off the lantern and in the howl of the Scottish winter wind roaring against our tent, we fell asleep snuggled in our warm, heated sleeping bags.
It was freezing cold in the morning, but clear, a brutal wind, but good visibility. Magnus shrugged on his parka and pulled on boots. “I am goin’ tae check the horses and look out.” He passed me a walk-n-talk as he called it. “Call me if anything happens. Stay tight.”
He left the tent.
I forgot to ask if I could pee. I dressed: shift, long skirt, tartan wrapped around, boots, and parka.
Neither of us had a proper hat. I wondered if I found a sheep could I somehow get enough yarn to knit one, without Google. Or knitting needles. Or any idea how sheep wool became yarn.
I was a fucking useless Scottish wife.
I took my walk-n-talk out and peed under the tree, my mess from last night miraculously gone. The horses looked at me as if I was ‘a part of the problem’ and then went back to eating. They were saddled already.
Son and Throne (Kaitlyn and the Highlander Book 11) Page 15