There would come a day when she might regret not having a man in her life that she loved, when the love of two little boys just wasn’t enough.
He tried to tamp down the simmer of desire that he always felt when he was around her. He had to put the memory of the kisses they had shared out of his mind.
She’d made it clear that this was strictly a platonic union and that the sleeping arrangements would remain the same.
She’d also emphasized that she was agreeing to this because of her own needs and the needs of his sons. She hadn’t mentioned his needs at all when she’d made the offer.
Dinner was pleasant, and when they were finished eating they walked back to where they had parked his car. David was once again in Marisa’s arms, and Mick rode on Jack’s back.
Within the first five minutes of being buckled into their car seats, the boys were both sound asleep. As Jack headed back to the ranch, he cast a quick glance at Marisa, wondering what she was thinking, if perhaps she was already regretting the decision she had made.
“You okay?” he asked.
She turned and smiled at him. She looked relaxed, not stressed. “I’m fine. What about you?”
“I’m good. I think I’m just having a hard time processing what we just did.”
He felt her gaze lingering on him. “This is going to be far more difficult on you than it is on me, Jack.”
“And why is that?”
“Sex.” The word hung in the air.
He shot her a quick glance, fast enough to catch the charming blush that colored her cheeks. “What about it?”
“I know how important it is to most men, but it can’t be an issue between us. Getting involved in a physical relationship will only complicate things if this all falls apart.” She frowned thoughtfully. “If this condition really bothers you, I suppose it would be okay for you to have an affair if you could do it as discreetly as possible.”
He was stunned by her words and by the fact that she would think so little of herself as to agree to such a thing. “I was married to Candace for a long time and never cheated on her. During all my years of partying, I might have done a lot of morally questionable things but I never knowingly slept with a married woman.
“I won’t have an affair, Marisa, and I’ll respect your wishes about not having a physical relationship with you.” He offered her a smile. “Contrary to popular myth, going without sex does not kill a man.”
Turning onto the road that would lead them home, he offered her another smile. “However, if you ever change your mind about the no-sex part of this relationship, I hope I’ll be the first to know.”
“Trust me, you’ll be the very first person I tell.” Once again deep color filled her cheeks, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and show her what she’d be missing.
He was definitely going to have to take up splitting wood or something equally physical to ease the burn of the desire she stirred inside him.
He could do it. He would do whatever it took to keep Marisa in his life. He would do whatever it took to make sure that his boys stayed in his custody, and if that meant living in a sexless marriage, he would do that.
Once they were home Marisa went into her bedroom to change her clothes, and Jack took the boys into the bathroom for a bath and to get them into their pajamas.
The tub was filled with bubbles, and the two boys splashed like fish. They wore the bubbles on their head and on their chins like little white beards.
“Look, Jack.” Mick giggled as he built a tower of bubbles on his head. “It’s a hat.”
“Watch me, Jack,” David exclaimed, vying for attention with his brother. He put his face into the water and blew, then raised his head and grinned with obvious pride.
“That’s great, David, and Mick, I love your hat,” he replied.
Love buoyed up inside him. He couldn’t lose them. He needed them in his life and he liked to believe that they needed him.
By the time he got them out of the tub and dried and dressed, he was as wet as they had been. He handed them off to Marisa at the doorway so she could tuck them in and he could change his drenched shirt.
In his bedroom he pulled on a clean white T-shirt, then stood in the boys’ bedroom door as Marisa got them into their beds.
“If you’re our new mommy, then can we call you Mommy?” Mick asked her as she leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead.
Marisa stood in obvious surprise and glanced at Jack. He shrugged to indicate that it was her call. She bent down next to Mick and smoothed a strand of his hair away from his face. “I think you should call me whatever you feel comfortable with,” she said.
“And you’ll be here in the morning when I wake up?” he asked.
Jack’s heart squeezed. They had never asked about Candace in the months that he’d had them, and Mick’s question indicated to Jack that there had been many mornings when the boys had awakened and not had their mother there.
“I’ll be here,” Marisa answered simply.
“You promise?” he asked.
“I promise,” she replied.
“Okay, then good night, Mommy,” he said with a sleepy sigh.
“Now me!” David exclaimed. “Kiss me good-night.”
Marisa laughed and quickly kissed Mick on the forehead then moved to David’s bedside. “Night, Mommy,” he said and Jack’s heart squeezed even tighter.
“Now my turn,” he said as Marisa moved toward the door. “Good night, son,” he said to Mick as he bent down to kiss him.
“Good night, Daddy,” Mick replied.
For a moment Jack remained frozen as a joy he’d never known coursed through him. Daddy. Finally, he’d heard that word from his son’s mouth. Never had a single word sounded so sweet.
When David said the same thing, he left the room with a sense of wonderment. As he and Marisa walked out in the hallway he caught her by the shoulders and stared at her for a long moment.
“You did this,” he whispered. “I don’t know how you did it, but you accomplished a miracle.”
She smiled, her eyes shining brightly. “It’s no miracle, Jack. They love you, and finally they’re willing to trust you. I didn’t do this, you did.”
He couldn’t control himself. His joy was so great he had to kiss her. He grabbed her into his arms and commandeered her lips with his.
For a moment he could think of nothing but the happiness in his soul and the pleasure of her warm lips beneath his.
It was only when he felt her stiffen against him that he dropped his hands and stepped back from her. Jeez, they hadn’t even been married five hours and already he had stepped over the line.
“I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. “I just got carried away with the moment. I won’t let it happen again.” He didn’t wait for her reply but instead walked down the hallway to his bedroom.
Chapter 9
Marisa stood on the porch and watched the car pulling away from the house. She sighed in exhaustion. She’d arranged for a playdate for the boys and had spent the morning entertaining not two but four rambunctious, energetic little boys.
She was about to turn and go back into the house when she saw Sam and Max Burrow standing near the barn, their gazes directed at her. A small chill worked its way up her back.
During the course of the past week since the marriage, she’d felt them staring at her far too often. It gave her a creepy, unsettled feeling, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Jack had vented his rage about who was feeding Harold information on the wrong person.
She closed the front door and set the alarm, then collapsed on the sofa in the living room, where Mick and David were playing with their truck collection.
The visitors had been previous charges of Marisa, the two sons of Margaret and John Covewell, who worked at one of the casinos. She’d worked for them for four months, until they had gotten themselves into a financial position where Margaret could be a stay-at-home mom.
Although the first hour
had been a little rough as David and Mick weren’t used to sharing either toys or attention with any other children, the last hour had gone remarkably smoothly.
Jack was outside somewhere. In the past week they had fallen into a routine that allowed him to work on the ranch during the day, then spend his late afternoon and evenings with the boys.
There had been no more interaction between Jack and Kent, and Marisa knew the rift weighed heavy on Jack’s mind. They still had no idea what the man had wanted who had tried to break into the house, but thankfully nothing alarming had happened since then.
That wasn’t exactly true, she thought. The most alarming thing happening in her life at the moment was the growing intensity of her desire for Jack.
It was hotter than anything she’d ever felt for her boyfriend in college. They were all living like a happy family, but at night when she climbed into her lonely bed she ached for something more. And when she finally fell asleep it was to erotic dreams of making love with Jack.
In those dreams it wasn’t just the sex that overwhelmed her. It was the fact that Jack whispered his love for her—a love that had nothing to do with his sons but rather that indefinable emotion between a man and a woman.
What she had to remember was that she was just a means to an end to better his chances if a custody battle should ensue. Their relationship was only about the boys, not about love.
Seeing that the boys were playing well together, she went into the kitchen, where Betty was finishing up the preparation of the evening meal.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” she asked.
Betty looked at her as if she’d just suggested murder. The old woman had been particularly cantankerous over the past week. “Do I look like I need help?” she asked. “Have you noticed the food not tasting right lately? Am I getting the meals ready on time?”
“No, I mean yes.” Marisa frowned. “Betty, I didn’t ask because I think you needed my help. I just wondered if you’d like any help.”
Betty set down the knife she’d been using to cut up vegetables. “Just tell me now. Am I going to lose my job?”
Marisa looked at her in surprise. “Why would you ask?”
Betty shrugged her skinny shoulders. “With you and Jack married now, I’ve been wondering when you’d decide to take over everything in the house.”
“I have no intention of taking over your job,” Marisa assured her. “To be perfectly honest with you, there are some things I do very well, but I never really got the hang of cooking.”
The taut line of Betty’s mouth relaxed, and she picked up the paring knife once again. “It’s not that hard if you put your mind to it.”
Marisa leaned a hip against the counter. “How well do you know Sam and Max?” she asked suddenly.
“I’ve known those two since they were teenagers. Why?”
“I was just curious about what kind of men they were.” Marisa didn’t want to say that she had questions about their loyalty to Jack, and she definitely didn’t want to mention that the two occasionally gave her the creeps.
“They’re good men, not too bright but hard workers. Jack could do a lot worse.”
At that moment there was a cry from the living room, and Marisa rushed from the kitchen to tend to a fight between the two brothers.
That night after the boys had been tucked into bed, Marisa and Jack sat in the living room as was their custom.
“Are you okay?” she asked. He’d been unusually quiet the entire evening.
“I’m fine. Why?”
“You just seem like you have a lot on your mind.” She wondered if he was regretting the marriage. He’d reached a place with the boys where they would have been fine without her. Jack had learned to be consistent with discipline, and the boys had begun to trust him to be there for them.
He leaned back in his chair and released an audible sigh. “Things have been quiet for the past week. I haven’t received even one phone call from Harold. I somehow feel like it’s the calm before the storm.”
“Have you heard from Kent?” she asked.
He shook his head, his eyes deepening in hue. There was no question that the topic of Kent hurt him. “But I didn’t expect to.”
“Maybe you should talk to him again, Jack. It would be a shame to throw away all those years of friendship that the two of you shared, especially given the fact that we don’t even know for sure if he is the one who is feeding Harold information.”
He rubbed two fingers across his forehead, as if fighting a headache. “I’ve lost all objectivity about all of this. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I need to sit down with Kent and talk. I’ll go over to his place tomorrow.” He dropped his hand from his forehead and smiled at her.
That smile of his warmed a place inside her that no other smile had done. “You know, just because we got married doesn’t mean you can’t still pursue your dream of owning your own nanny agency,” he said.
“To be honest, I haven’t even thought about it for the past couple of weeks,” she admitted. “But it is something I’d like to do. I’d need to create a Web site and do some advertising, and I’d also need to interview prospective employees but it’s all something I could do from the house. I’d never have to leave the boys.”
“I want you to do what makes you happy, Marisa.” His deep voice was as soft as a caress. “You’ve already sacrificed so much for me. I’ll support whatever it is you want to do as far as an agency is concerned.”
It was far more difficult than she’d expected to maintain an emotional distance from him. She’d tried desperately since the moment she’d met him to keep herself detached, to ignore the simmering burn he evoked in her. But it was getting more arduous with each day that passed.
“I think I’ll go to bed,” she said, releasing a tired sigh. “The playdate today exhausted me.” At that moment Mick cried out, obviously suffering from one of his nightmares.
“I’ll take care of him,” Jack said and got up from his chair. As Marisa went into her bedroom Jack disappeared into the boys’ room.
She went into her bathroom and got undressed and into her silky nightgown, then pulled her robe around her and crept out into the hallway just outside the boys’ bedroom.
Her breath caught in her chest as she heard Jack singing, his deep, melodious voice whispering of circus clowns and treasures found, of big balloons and smiling moons.
Marisa leaned with her back against the hallway wall and closed her eyes as warmth rushed through her. It was a warmth coupled with a horrible sense of dread as she realized she’d fallen hopelessly in love with her husband.
Jack sang until Mick fell back asleep. He remained in the chair next to the bed for a long moment, breathing in the scent of his boys, then quietly got up and left the room.
He nearly collided with Marisa, who was standing in the hallway just outside. She looked up at him with her liquid brown eyes, and the smile that curved her lips made his heart pound just a bit.
“That was beautiful,” she said, her voice a husky whisper.
“I might not be good at a lot of things, but I always could sing,” he replied. Every muscle in his body tensed as she didn’t move away. He feared he might lose his mind if she didn’t stop looking at him like that.
He shifted from one foot to the other. “Well, I guess I’ll just say good-night,” he finally said. He started to walk by her to return to the living room, but she stopped him by placing her delicate hand on his forearm.
“Jack?” Her eyes were luminous as she gazed up at him.
“Yeah?” The air between them seemed to shimmer with an energy that made it difficult for him to breathe.
She moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, and Jack felt his blood pressure shoot through the ceiling. “I told you that you’d be the first to know if I changed my mind,” she said.
Jack shoved his hands in his jean pockets, afraid of where they might roam, afraid that he might misunderstand what she was talking about. “Changed you
r mind about what?” He fought the urge to cough to clear away the huskiness of his throat.
A wild desire had crashed through him the moment she’d touched her lips with her tongue. The thin cotton robe she wore did nothing to hide her curves, and the tiny peek of red silk he saw only further heated the blood rushing through his veins.
“About not having anything physical between us.” Her cheeks flamed, but she held his gaze with an uplifted chin. “I mean, if you were interested in having something physical between us, I wouldn’t be upset.”
“If I’m interested?” He pulled his hands from his pockets. “Marisa, I’ve been interested in a physical relationship with you since the moment you walked through my front door.”
He felt frozen in place, afraid to move too fast, afraid to move too slow, scared somehow that he’d do something to shatter the moment and that gorgeous light in her eyes.
She took a step closer to him, engulfing him in that delicious scent of hers. “So do you intend to do something about it or are you just going to stand there and stare at me?”
Her upper lip trembled slightly, letting him know that she was nervous, that she was putting herself on the line and wasn’t sure what reaction she might get from him.
He pulled her into his arms and placed his lips against hers. Softly, tenderly he kissed her as he cradled her against him. But the kiss didn’t remain soft or tender. As she wrapped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth against his, his need roared through him like a loosened beast.
He wanted to devour her. He felt as if he’d been on a slow burn since the moment they’d met, and her sudden acquiescence was the fuel that exploded that simmer into a raging inferno.
He broke the kiss, wanting to get her into his bedroom, into his bed before she changed her mind.
As he stepped back from her he reached for her hand and led her down the hallway toward his bedroom. She followed him without hesitation, but her hand trembled slightly in his.
5 Minutes to Marriage Page 9