by Tracy Tappan
Marissa pulled a tissue from the sleeve of her dress and wiped her nose. Her hand looked a bit bony. Evidence that she’d lost weight over the last week, the inevitable result of rarely leaving a hospital bedside. Someone moved behind her, and she automatically stiffened. Anxiety was her constant companion these days. Her nightmares had even returned, those vivid, terrifying images of the night Mürk and Tëer had kidnapped her, what she’d witnessed Videön doing to poor Kendra. And now to top off one of the worst weeks of her life, she was here. Another nightmare. The biggest.
She flinched when a hand lightly patted her back, but then forced a smile for Dr. Livingstone, the oncologist who’d treated her mother. She needed to be more—
Shock tore the smile from her mouth.
There, standing in the kitchen doorway of her mother’s house was…was-was-was… She pressed a hand to her chest.
Dev ducked through the doorway and came toward her, dressed in a black suit, charcoal dress shirt, and a black-on-black tie. Lines marred his brow, pain etching his face. Pain for her. Oh. God. A single tear made it past her defenses, seeping to the border of her bottom lid and catching in her lashes.
He’d come. She’d never thought to see him again, but now, when she needed him most, he was here.
He came to a stop right in front of her, towering over her, as usual. The furrows in his brow lengthened, and his voice was a deep bass-note of sympathy. “I’m so sorry to hear about your mother passing, Marissa.”
Her body jerked. She muffled a cry. He was really here…
Behind him, Tonĩ and Jaċken entered through the kitchen door, too, Arc and Beth, all four of them dressed in dark clothes.
Her next few breaths stuttered out of her. She’d been living in a black hole for so many days now. Mother dead, father dead, a sister who hated her. No family. So alone. But now they were here, Tonĩ and Jaċken, Arc and Beth. And Dev. Not a one was probably supposed to be topside for something like a funeral wake, but they had come, to give her their love and support.
Marissa clawed a hand into the front of her dress, tears swelling from the deepest part of her, weird sounds coming out of her mouth, a buh-buh-buh of oncoming hysteria. “I-I’m going to lose it, Dev.” Muscles tore open in her chest and purged the balled mass of emotion.
“Oh, shit.” Dev leapt forward and hauled her against him, encircling her in a tight embrace, his strong arms providing, just as from the beginning, the only safe place in the world for her.
The floodgates opened. She pressed her face into the deep muscles of his chest, fisted her hands around the lapels of his blazer, and wept. Hard. Her knees wobbled, her ribs squeezed painfully, one sob after another lurching out of her body.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Dev murmured, stroking her hair.
She was probably scaring the bejabbers out of him, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She was a total mess.
“It’s going to be all right, Riss.”
She nodded her head against his chest, finally managing to quiet her sobs, then pulled back in his arms, just far enough to peer up at him. She reached up and lightly touched the rough velvet of his goatee. “I’ve missed you so much, Dev.”
He cupped her face, trying to wipe away her tears with his thumbs, but they just kept coming. “Me, too.” A muscle in his jaw shivered.
She hugged him again, then finally, reluctantly, stepped back to let the rest of her friends pass on their condolences. She embraced each one of them, even Jaċken whose arms were surprisingly gentle.
“Thank you so much for coming.” She wiped at her cheeks with the tissue she was still holding. “Please, everyone…help yourselves to some food and drink.”
As her friends moved off to mingle, she took Dev around to some of the other guests, her arm locked securely through his. Lord, the middle of his shirt had a huge wet spot on it from her tears. She halfheartedly introduced him to Natalie, who eyed Dev with feline speculation, no doubt strategizing how to seduce yet another of Marissa’s boyfriends. Marissa had never loved Dev more than when he met the interest of a gorgeous woman—Natalie was definitely that—with nothing but cool politeness.
After that, she gave Dev a tour of her childhood home, finishing upstairs in her bedroom.
Dev glanced around curiously. “So this is where you grew up?”
“This is it.” She closed the door.
“Holy crap, what are these?” He crossed to a couple of posters on her wall. “LL Cool J? Vanilla Ice?”
“They were popular back in the late ’90s.”
“But rap?”
She sat down on her bed. “It was a temporary high school insanity.”
He quirked his mouth at her. “The rest of your room is pink.”
“Well, I was still a girlie-girl.” She smiled softly. “You’re learning all kinds of new things about me, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” He ducked his chin and ran a hand over his hair. “I like it.”
“Okay, here’s something else. I bought my first bra when I was twelve, even though I didn’t have a boob in sight, and stuffed the cups with beanbags.”
His eyebrows soared. “With what?”
She shrugged. “I thought that would make them look bouncy.”
He laughed, his silver eyes brightening. “Shit, man, I’m so glad I’m not a chick.”
“Oh, come on.” She cocked her head at him. “You can’t tell me you never tried to make anything appear more impressive on your body when you were growing up.”
He slanted a wicked look at her. “Didn’t have to, sweetheart.”
She laughed, too, and it felt good. “You’re not going to start pawing the ground with your hoof, are you?” She leaned back on an elbow. “Okay, now you tell me something about yourself.”
“Hmm, okay, let’s see.” He scanned the books on her shelf. “Ah. Here we go.” He pulled out Treasure Island, glanced at the cover, then cast a look at her from beneath his dark lashes. “I can’t live without you, Riss.”
She blinked, taking a moment to process the switch in topics, then her chest clutched when she finally registered what he’d said. “Well, yes…” She straightened. “We were pretty great together until we messed everything up, weren’t we?”
“No, not ‘we,’ honey.” He set Treasure Island back on its shelf. “Me. You were just trying to tell me what you needed, Marissa, and I didn’t listen to you. I was too busy stewing in my own hurt, and so just brushed everything you had to say aside as if it wasn’t as important as my own stuff, and…I’m so sorry for that. Your dreams are important, okay? Very important, and I want you to know that I know that.”
Throat tight, she nodded mutely, warmth flooding her heart. Dev was gazing down at her with the most loving, caring eyes she’d ever seen in her life. “In all fairness, I didn’t give you what you needed, either.”
He shook his head. “What you wanted didn’t mesh with what I wanted, so you just weren’t able to.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, scrunching up the sides of his suit jacket. “So, listen, I have a proposition that will work out for both of us. I’ve asked the Council to foot the bill for a new topside restaurant for you now, Marissa, so you can get started on your dream right away. They’ve agreed.”
“I…” Her mouth hung open.
“That’s your side. My side is that, after you’ve had a chance to pursue your dream topside for a while, you’ll come back to me.”
She blinked rapidly. “But…” What was wrong with her brain and her mouth? She couldn’t get them to work in tandem.
“You can take as long as you want, too. Years if you need it.”
It was suddenly difficult to swallow. “You’d…you’d wait for me?”
“Yes.” He smiled again, although the expression looked like he was forcing some of his bravery. “I know it’ll be tough being apart from you—downright hell—but I can survive it if I know at some point we’ll be together again. I want you to be happy, Riss. That’s everything to me, so…” His sm
ile reached his eyes now. “Knowing that you’re fulfilling your dream will get me through.”
A rush of aching tenderness filled her chest and pushed into her tight throat. “I can’t believe you’re saying this.” No one had ever offered her so much.
Warmth swept over Dev’s features. “The truth is, I don’t have a choice. I meant it about not being able to live without you. I love you, Marissa. Only you. Other Dragon women will come into the community over the years, but it won’t matter. You’re it.”
She pressed an unsteady palm to her cheek. “Oh, Lord, I think I’m going to faint.”
Dev took a step toward her. “You are?” His eyebrows lowered. “Do you want some water?”
“No. I’m…” She took a moment just to stare at him, overwhelmed by the strength of the love she felt for this man, her soul filling with sunlight, her heart taking flight. “And my answer is no.”
“Ah.” Dev retreated behind lowered lids. “Okay, well…”
“But ‘no’ in a good way, Dev, not in a bad way.” Her voice shifted down to a roughened thread. “I already have a successful restaurant. It’s called Marissa’s, and it’s not second prize to someplace topside.” She felt the pull of a smile. “It’s a great place—it’s my place—and it’s home, just like the people of Ţărână are my family.”
A glimmer of hope ignited in Dev’s eyes, a hope he quickly doused. “I don’t want you to end up feeling like you didn’t get your shot.”
“You just gave it to me. The offer is enough.”
He gave her a skeptical look. “Are you sure you’re not just saying that because of your mom?”
She smiled wistfully. “I’ve come to some realizations thanks to her, but not because she died. Well, partly, I guess, a tragedy like this shoves into your face what’s truly important in life.” She stood and crossed to her school desk. “I was going through some of my mother’s things, and look what I found.” She picked up a piece of paper from the desktop and held it up. “This is an award certificate, handmade by my mother, given to me as a prize for the first chocolate cake I ever baked. She presented it to me when I was thirteen to cheer me on, and…it made me believe I could do things for one of the first times ever.” She gazed at the certificate, the familiar scrolling handwriting pushing a lump into her throat. She looked up and found Dev’s eyes pinned on her. “I’ve struggled with a fear of failure complex for such a long time, Dev, starting with my back problems then continuing on with Natalie outdoing me. A Michelin-starred restaurant topside became a…this kind of tangible thing I could hold onto as a mark of my success. ‘I’ve arrived,’ it would say—I’ve made it. But seeing this”—she lifted the certificate—“reminded me that true success comes from within. That may sound like a cliché, but it’s true. It doesn’t matter what others think; you have to believe in yourself.”
She set the award back on her desk. “To paraphrase Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, if I can’t find my heart’s desire in my own back yard, I probably never lost it to begin with.” She looked deeply into Dev’s bright silver eyes. “Everything I want and need has been right in front of me all along.” She stepped up to him and placed a palm on his chest. “You and I, we fit, and I can’t live without you, either. This last week apart has shown me that in living color.” Her chin trembled. “I love you so much, more than I ever thought possible with another human being. I want to be your bonded mate, Dev, and right now, for the rest of my life doesn’t feel like long enough.”
A ragged breath stuttered from him. “Oh, shit, you really mean it.” He pulled her into a tight hug. “Thank God,” he whispered into her hair.
She looped her arms around his neck. “Your happiness means everything to me, too.” She nestled her face into the pleasant animal-scented skin of his throat. “Marry me, and I’ll do my damnedest to make sure you are.”
“Gee, okay.” He skimmed his hands over her back, then leaned back to look at her. “Tell me something. Did you have all this figured out before my big speech?”
She gave him a glowing look. “I adored your big speech. Listening to all of the sacrifices you were willing to make for me was amazing, and knowing that you understand my feelings is so important to me.”
“So I earned points?”
“Oh, lots.”
His eyes caressed her face. “I believe in you, too, you know.”
She blinked against a sudden rush of tears. “Yes you do. You’re the man who got me to climb that rock wall.” She kissed him softly. “And I never stopped believing in you, either, Dev, despite you thinking that you’re an ogre. My love for you never wavered.”
He wrapped his arms around her again, strong and tight, like he’d never let go.
She kissed his neck, his ear, his cheek. She felt his heartbeat pick up speed, but when she moved to kiss his lips again, he stopped her.
“Once I start kissing you,” he said in a husky voice, “I don’t want to stop, Marissa. Never again.”
She pulled a face. “I suppose it would be bad form to bond in the middle of my mother’s wake.”
“I couldn’t, anyway.” He caressed his thumb over the curve of her chin. “I’m going to get mondo protective of you once we get together, so being around other people is a no-go. We’ll need to be safely down in Ţărână.”
She lightly touched her fingers to his lips. “Just give me a sec to pack.”
It was close to midnight by the time the last of the guests had left her mother’s house, and Marissa and her five friends were free to leave. She stood in the living room of her childhood home, looking around for the last time, tears in her eyes. It was difficult to say goodbye, but she was leaving her mother’s wake to go get married, and she had no doubt in her mind that her mother would’ve loved that.
Natalie stood on the outside curb, curiously watching Marissa climb into the community minivan.
Marissa gave her sister a curt goodbye and no explanation before they drove off.
She and Dev held hands the whole way home. With the tip of her finger, Marissa followed the tracery of strong veins on the top of his hand, all the while enjoying the feel of his warm palm against hers. Contentment settled in her chest. She was going back to the town she loved to begin a new life with a man she adored. It was all a bit surreal.
The conversation among the six of them was companionable, with the three warriors occasionally engaging in some light banter. She found herself smiling here and there. Never before had she felt the deep sense of belonging that she did with these people. Being around them eased her grief like nothing else could, and by the time the minivan drove off the elevator platform into Ţărână’s garage, a touch of true happiness had lightened her spirits.
She should’ve known it wasn’t going to last.
Chapter Thirty-two
Alex stood in the community garage with his hands fisted in his pockets, his feet doing a bunch of jitterbug steps as he watched the minivan drive off the elevator platform. His heart felt heavy as rain clouds. This situation totally sucked big dick.
Nỵko, standing closer to the platform, clearly thought the same. It was rare to see Nỵko scowl—the dude was sensitive about the scary disguise he wore and generally tried to play it down. But he currently looked like Chucky in the middle of murder withdrawal
Alex felt himself tense as the minivan stopped and the doors rattled open. The six occupants stepped out, Jaċken and Toni, the Costaches, and Dev and Marissa. He checked eyes briefly with his sister, throwing her a something’s-wrong-and-you-gotta-solve-it look, but that was all the pow-wow he got with her.
Jaċken took one glance at Nỵko’s uncharacteristically grim expression, and his brows set into a level bar over the bridge of his nose. “What?” The single syllable cracked through the garage.
Nỵko’s hands landed on his hips as he faced his brother. “Pettrila Nichita has placed an injunction against her children bonding with humans.”
Dev laughed, an abrasive sound that was utterly devoid o
f humor. “How nice for her.”
The lump in Alex’s throat fell down and splashed into his stomach. Her children. As in, Luvera, too. Which meant that if this big dick suckage problem didn’t get resolved, then Alex’s dream of someday ending up with Luvera would remain in the realm of unreality where he’d already relegated it by being such a complete single-digit about the whole affair. Dating a bunch of other Vârcolac women hadn’t succeeded at all in getting Luvera out of his head. Really? Dur. Nothing had been able to do that ever since that laser tag game; he and Luvera had shared a moment there, he was sure of it. Luvera remained as lukewarm to him as she’d been since his birthday, but, dang it, he should’ve ignored that, swallowed his nerves, and taken hat in hand and just asked her out a long time ago.
He’d been about to do that last week, but…she’d come down with a bad cold or something, which was weird because Vârcolac rarely contracted traditional human illness. Something had looked like it was wrong with her, though, her eyes sunken and haunted, almost guilt-ridden, as if she’d done something wrong. He couldn’t imagine what with a sweet girl like her. It was killing him not to be able to talk to her about it, but Luvera rarely left her house these days—she hadn’t been at Garwald’s all week—and there was certainly no getting past her mother.
“This is serious, Dev.” Impossibly, Nỵko’s expression turned grimmer.
Jesus, surely earthquakes thundered topside, the sun was becoming black as sackcloth, and the moon had turned to blood.
“A Tribunal has been gathered in the Council Room to decide the matter,” Nỵko said.
“Decide what?” The skin beneath Dev’s goatee was growing tight, anger sawing across his words. “Pettrila doesn’t have the power to place this kind of injunction.”