Heart of the Music (Saints & Sinners #1)

by Kaithlin Shepherd

  She’d been asleep for an hour with Jarrod at her side before she woke up. “Where am I?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

  “You’re at Saint Thomas, Trish,” he told her, pressing the button to alert the nurse that she was awake.

  She looked a bit panicked. “Jarrod, what are you doing here? What happened?”

  He watched her closely as she took in her surroundings and squeezed her hand, trying to reassure her that she was safe. “You were in a car accident. I got here as soon as they called me.” He held a glass of water to her lips, helping her take slow sips.

  “Why did they call you?” she asked him, confused.

  He smiled down at her. “You put me down as your emergency contact.” Which they would discuss later. Putting him down as an emergency contact meant she trusted him more than anyone else, and that was something he would hang on to.

  “Oh, yeah.” She tried to look away, hiding her embarrassment of the whole situation, but he didn’t let her. He turned her face slowly, careful not to hurt her, so he could look her in the eye.

  “How are you feeling?” He hated seeing her looking so fragile and broken.

  “Like I was hit by a car.” She tried to hold back a laugh, making her wince as she held her ribs.

  “You have a broken leg, a couple of bruised ribs, a mild concussion, and a sprained wrist.” His heart started racing as he told her about her injuries.

  “No, no… the tour….” Leave it to her to be thinking about the state of their tour while she lay in a hospital bed with broken bones after being hit by a car.

  She took care of everyone else, but when it came to her well-being, she always put it last on her list of priorities. “They’re already rebooking the shows.”

  “No, you can still go.”

  “No.” If she thought for a second he would leave her when she needed him, she had another thing coming.

  “Jarrod, you can’t just reschedule the tour.”

  ‘Watch me’ was all he wanted to say, but instead, he told her, “I said no. You’ll be off for a few weeks, and so will we. We’re not leaving you alone.” His tone left no doubt that this wasn’t up for discussion.

  He saw the resistance leave her body. “Okay.”

  “Do not ever fucking scare me like that again.” He kissed her forehead, running his hands over her body, needing to reassure himself she was whole. His chest expanded in relief. She was safe, and he’d make sure that was the way it would stay.

  Present Day

  Patricia

  Jarrod had been gone for a half a day when she woke up in the middle of the night with a searing pain in her lower back. “Sweetie, you have to stop kicking Mommy like that.” She took deep breathes focus on the memory of Jarrod’s face when they found out they were having a baby girl. Fear and pure joy had been all over his face, and hers too. She still couldn’t believe they were having a little princess.

  When the pain become more bearable, she got out of the bed and felt something drip between her legs. When she saw blood on the sheets, her heart constricted, fear slicing through her body. “Okay, sweetie, you have to hang on, you hear me? Children need to listen to their mothers, and I am telling you I need you to hold on.” She grabbed her phone from the table and dialed Sam’s number.

  He picked up on the first ring, his voice on full alert. “Trish, what’s wrong?”

  “I need you to come take me to the hospital, or I can call the ambulance…. I should probably do that instead, right? I mean, that’s the logical thing to do.” She tried to stay calm as she spoke to Sam, but she wanted Jarrod. She needed him, and knowing he wasn’t there, made her thoughts spiral out of control.

  “What happened?”

  She focused on keeping her breathing even, trying to calm her body’s response. “I woke up because Emma couldn’t stop kicking me, but, Sam, there’s blood on the sheets and Jarrod is out of town, and I’m freaking out here!”

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Stay there and call Jarrod right now.”

  She grabbed one of Jarrod’s sweatshirts from his dresser and slipped it on before calling him. It rang a few times before he picked up. “Baby, what’s wrong? It's 3 a.m. back home.”

  “I woke up because Emma was kicking me like a pro-soccer player and there’s blood on the sheets, so Sam is coming over to take me to the hospital. I know this meeting is really important, but I’m really scared, Jarrod. I need you.” As she told him what was happening, she couldn’t hold back the tears or the fear that something was wrong with their daughter.

  “Baby, nothing is more important to me than you and our little girl. I’m taking the first flight out. Hell, I’ll charter one if it’s faster,” he assured her, and she could hear him opening up his suitcase in the background. God, she needed him home right now.

  “Okay.” She briefly closed her eyes, allowing a tendril of relief to wash through her.

  Sam drove her to the hospital, and within ten minutes, she was settled in a room under observation. Her moment of relief knowing Jarrod was on his way home had since vanished. She couldn’t shake the fear that something was wrong with the baby.

  “Trish, it’s going to be all right. The baby is going to be fine. Jarrod’s on his way. I’m not leaving.” Sam’s words echoed through her head as she drifted off to sleep, no longer to resist the pull of exhaustion.

  “Baby, wake up for me.” She struggled to open her eyes. She was so tired, and after the doctor had come back in to tell her the baby was fine, fatigue had taken over.

  She squirmed a little before opening her eyes. “Jarrod, you’re here.” She threw her arms around his neck, breathing him in, taking comfort from his touch.

  “What happened? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?” His voice was panicked, and he didn’t bother trying to hide it.

  “We’re both fine. The doctor said it was possible to have some blood loss. I just freaked out when I saw it. They’re keeping me overnight, but they say there’s nothing to be worried about. We’re both healthy as can be.” Jarrod fell to his knees the instant she spoke the words.

  She rubbed his hair and neck, trying to calm him down, but nothing worked. “Baby, I’m okay. The baby is okay. We’re all okay.”

  “I…wasn’t…here. Oh, God, what if…?” She could hear the agony in his voice and knew he was blaming himself for going to L.A and not being there for her and the baby, but he needed to understand that this was not his fault. If he would have been here, this would still have happened; nothing he could have done would have changed that.

  “It's okay, baby. It’s okay. Jarrod, look at me.” She placed his hands on her belly, so he could cradle Emma and feel for himself they were both okay.

  He lowered his head to her belly and whispered, “I’m right here, baby girl. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, but I’m here now. You’re such a strong girl, just like your mama. I love you both so much.”

  Jarrod

  The day he got the call from the hospital one year before telling him Trish had been in a car accident was a day he would never forget. But the night she called him saying she was bleeding and she had to go to the hospital almost killed him. He was on autopilot until he walked into that hospital room and saw for himself that she was really okay. He couldn’t remember a day in all his life when he had been so scared in all his life. The possibility of losing the woman he loved and the child she was carrying was enough to bring him to his knees.

  Two days after checking in, the doctors reassured him that it was safe for them to go home. He should feel bad about overwhelming the doctor with questions, but there was no way he was taking any chances with Trish’s health. After an hour of interrogating the doctor, he was convinced that it was all right for them to go home, but he’d be damned if she went back to work. Her sweet ass was staying home, even if he had to tie her to the bed.

  “I want ice cream,” she declared on their way home. After stopping at two different stores because they didn’t have the coconut ice cream she wante
d, they finally pulled up their driveway.

  “I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed.” He knew the feeling too well. He hadn’t left her side for two days, and he was sure looking forward to a good night’s sleep.

  “I just want to hold you and keep you to myself for the next couple of days,” he told her as they climbed the stairs to the master bedroom.

  When they got to the top of the stairs, she turned around and kissed him softly with a longing for intimacy that matched his. “That sounds perfect to me. I missed you while you were gone.”

  “Me too, baby. I don’t think I’ll be able to go away like that again.” That was the God’s honest truth. After everything that had happened while he was gone, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do it again.

  “What about the album?” she asked. He knew she understood the pressure they were under to produce their next record, but just like everyone anyone else around them who had a problem with it, she was going to have to come to terms with being his number one priority.

  He helped her out of the sundress one of the guys had brought for her to wear home and slipped one of his T-shirts over her head. She was showing now, and he didn’t know how much longer he would have the privilege of seeing her in his clothes.

  “I talked to the producer, and we agreed we could record it here. The guys all signed off on it. They actually sounded relieved to know we weren’t going to be stuck in a recording studio.”

  “It’s gonna be nice having everyone around for a while. What did Derek say about the next tour?”

  “I told him we weren’t going to consider leaving until the baby was at least six months old. He wasn’t happy at first, but he accepted it.” Jarrod pulled back the covers on the bed, and when she was settled comfortably between the sheets, where she was going to spend the next few days, he climbed in next to her and pulled her to him. “I got the quote back for the new bus too, and most of the things we want for the baby are doable, so we don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Oh, good. I hate spending that much money, but if we’re gonna take this little person with us, I want to make sure we’re comfortable.”

  “Baby, it’s not that much money. We’ve got more than enough to customize our bus.” Money was one of those things that they couldn’t stop talking about. He understood that spending money wasn’t something she was comfortable with, but it was a part of who he was and, sooner or later, she was going to have to accept that.

  “I know, I just need to get used to it.” She snuggled closer to him. He stilled at the contact, welcoming the relief washing over and allowing it to sink into him. He knew it would all be okay, because he wouldn’t let anything ruin this for them.

  “Let’s try and get some sleep. I’ll cook something when we wake up.”

  “That sounds good to me. Love you.”

  “Love you, too, baby.” He cradled her stomach with his hands and fell asleep holding the woman he loved and the child he couldn’t wait to meet.

  Patricia

  The last few days were a haze with people stopping by the house to check up on her and the baby, on top of the preparations for their Country Weekly interview, which was scheduled for today. Jarrod had tried to convince her that they should reschedule the interview and the photo-shoot, arguing that it was too soon after her hospital admission, but she had insisted that they do it.

  She hated doing interviews, so the sooner they could do it, the better off all would be. “Baby, are you sure you’re up for this today? We can always ask Joey to reschedule the interview.” Joey had taken her place as their publicist when they had found out she was pregnant.

  Patricia had insisted her replacement be a man, and Joey was perfect for the job. He was tough enough to keep the guys on track, but lenient enough to make sure everyone had a good time every now and then.

  “We’re not having poor Joey reschedule, Jarrod. I’m fine, the baby is fine, and we are doing this interview today. Now let the poor people from hair and makeup in here before they think we’re having sex.” She hated being fussed over, but she loved how protective Jarrod was of her and the baby, even if it sometimes it drove her crazy.

  “Well, if that’s what you want, I’m more than happy to meet your needs, baby.”

  “Oh, God, stop playing on my pregnancy hormones. You’re a bad influence. Now hush and let them make me pretty and you can satisfy my needs the second everyone leaves our home.”

  “Baby, you don’t need them to make you pretty. You’re beautiful,” he told her, running his hand up and down her back. She loved how he made her feel beautiful no matter how this pregnancy was changing her body.

  “And that’s why I love you.”

  Before she knew it, she had her hair and makeup fixed and she was being ushered forward by Joey, all the while trying to breathe through the chaos.

  “You’ll be fine, hon, just breathe it out,” Joey whispered in her ear. She squeezed his hand, silently thanking him for his support. At first, she had been concerned about how Joey would fit in with the rest of the guys, but they had made him feel welcome and appreciated, and that was all she could really ask for.

  Two hours into the interview and, so far, they hadn’t been asked too many personal questions they didn’t feel comfortable answering, but when the reporter asked her next question, Patricia felt her whole world come crashing down around her.

  “So, Patricia, being in a relationship with one of the hottest men on the planet can’t be all that easy, especially when women are constantly throwing themselves at him. How do you get over incidents like the one that occurred in Los Angeles a few days ago?”

  “I’m sorry, what incident are we talking about?” She looked at Jarrod, who seemed as clueless as she was.

  “Jarrod was photographed leaving a restaurant with another woman, and they were seen getting pretty intimate inside. How do you handle that?” The words barely registered as she was handed a picture of Jarrod and Elise.

  She looked at him, her pulse in her throat, tear prickling behind her eyelids, but she knew it was not the time to lose it. “Jarrod was in Los Angeles for business, and we both know pictures aren’t always what they seem. I’m sorry, I’m not feeling that well. I’m going to need to cut this short. Joey, can you help me to the bedroom?” She held back her tears and words fighting to break free until she closed the bedroom door.

  Disbelief swept through. This couldn’t be happening. He was out with Elise while she was bleeding, fearing losing their baby. She was going to be sick. One look at their bed and she had to leave. She knew he would never cheat on her, but she needed time to process, and she couldn’t do that here.

  She was about to leave when Jarrod walked into the room. One look at her carry-on bag and anger flashed across his face. “Where are you going?” His voice was harsh, pissing her off even more.

  “Anywhere but here. You let them blindside me.” She could barely utter the words over her tears. She felt the baby kick and her hands went to her stomach, cradling her daughter. How could he have not told her he saw Elise in L.A.? That was the most painful thing about what had been disclosed in the last ten minutes. Elise was a vulture and it didn’t shock Patricia that she would try to get Jarrod back, but that he would meet with her and not tell her about it, well, she just couldn’t handle that.

  “What are you doing? Since when do you believe gossip from fucking reporters, Trish?” She could hear the anger in his voice, but it was nothing compared to what she was feeling.

  “Did you or did you not have dinner with Elise in L.A.?” She was screaming and she didn’t care about being heard. She could tell by the look in his eyes that the reporter’s comments were true.

  “Trish, come on.”

  “Answer the goddamned question, Jarrod.” Her words were louder and harsher. She felt betrayed, and betrayal had no constraints, especially to a five-months’ pregnant woman.

  He took a deep breath, shaking his head. “Yes, I had dinner with Elise when I was in L.A.”
>
  “You had dinner with Elise, your supermodel ex-girlfriend, and you didn’t think that was worth mentioning to the woman carrying your child?” She took deep breaths, trying to process the anger inside of her.

  He took a few steps toward her. “It was just dinner, Trish, nothing happened.”

  She wrapped her hands around her belly, holding their unborn child like a lifeline. “The reporter said you guys were intimate, what happened?”

  “Fuck…. She kissed me, all right? But I pushed her back. She was drunk, so I walked her to her car and helped her driver get her in. You called me right after I got back to the hotel. Nothing happened.”

  “You kissed your ex-girlfriend and nothing happened?” He reached for her, but she stepped out of his reach. If he thought she was going to let him touch her, he was crazy.

  “Don’t touch me. I can’t be here right now. I need time, Jarrod.” Mascara ran down her cheeks as she walked through the house, but she didn’t care about who saw her. All she cared about was getting out of his house.

  “Trish, don’t leave like this, please. You just got out of the hospital.” He reached for her arm, but she shoved past him.

  “You need to give me some space, Jarrod.” Patricia walked to her car, trying to keep it together.

  She drove for hours with no destination in mind before she took a turn onto Sam’s street and parked in front of his house. She was still in her car when Sam stormed outside. “For crying out loud, Trish, everyone has been going crazy not knowing where you were. What were you thinking?”

  “Oh, I don’t know…. Oh, yeah, it’s all coming back to me now. I was thinking about how the man I love, the father of my child, hooked up with his ex-girlfriend. Yeah, that sounds about right.” She got out of her car, holding her lower back.