by S. N. Garza
After that first encounter, JR got her to tag along sometimes. Our friendship grew and she became one of my best friends. I loved seeing her innocence even though it was shrouded by her pain. I didn’t ask questions though. I was a chicken shit for not doing so, but at the time, I didn’t know if I could handle it. Or if I wanted to handle it. Then.
Now, I know I could handle it. Whatever weight she was carrying, but that wasn’t up to me.
I didn’t worry about her leaving tonight though. I know she felt the burning intensity between us. Even if it had been only a short time since she’s been here.
I pushed her just enough to be desperate for more. She thought she’d fuck me, and I wouldn’t find her until she decides to grace me with her presence again? Ha. Silly woman had no clue that I knew where she was staying, and where the book convention was being held. I told her I was in the Marines. She just hadn’t figured out I would find a way, whether or not she liked it.
Looking at the stove tops digital clock, it had been enough time for her to get to the hotel she was staying at. I pulled out my phone, swiped it open and opened up the messaging app.
Me: Hope you got back to your hotel safely babe. Next time, don’t be such a scaredy cat and say bye.
And just because I couldn’t resist-
Me: Or else.
Adelaide: Or else what? And yes I did, ty.
Manners. That girl might get sassy as hell, but she had manners ingrained since birth. One of the things I love about her.
Shit. Loved? No way. I am not in love with Adelaide. Was I?
Sighing, the only thing that popped in my head was that letter. I could say it word for word what it said, without looking at it.
Courtland,
Because of you, I now have a record. You are nothing, but a good for nothing loser who has no future. My future will be brighter and better without you in it. Do not come near me. Do not talk to me, or try and call me. I want absolutely nothing to do with you. Don’t contact me. You aren’t worth my time. Stay away from me. I hate that you got me in so much trouble. I hate you. How could I ever want you when there is someone so much better? If you thought I could ever fall for you, you thought wrong. You’re nothing.
Addy
Yeah. That’ll put it in perspective. Even though her actions tonight, made me think that something must’ve happened for her to write those cruel words.
I had planned coming back to Granville when I had finished boot camp. I wanted to see Joe, JR and Adelaide. Knowing I fell in love with her and hadn’t told her, was eating me up inside. I wanted her to know what happened and why I had to leave like I did. I had given up my phone when I left for North Carolina, I had Joe give it to Adelaide. I had to get a new phone anyway. One with a NC area code, so Addy could call or text me when she could. So I ended up writing them and the one I had written to Adelaide I had put my feelings in there. I wanted to wait until I saw her before I told her I loved her. Obviously, that shit never happened. Just when I had been leaving, my commanding officer gave me my mail. It was a letter from Adelaide. Just that first line, I was pissed. Hurt, too. My heart turned to stone right then. I knew better to let a woman get to me.
I hated remembering that fucking letter. It was a heavy weight on my heart. Not gonna dwell on that shit now though. Now, I just wanted to aggravate the hell out of her. So I texted her back.
Me: I might just have 2 spank that pretty little ass pink. I bet it’ll look really pretty with my handprint.
Adelaide: In your DREAMS. Butthole.
Butthole? Laughing I wrote-
Me: Butthole? Are you 12?
Adelaide: ASSHOLE!
Me: ha-ha Babe. That hurt. We’ll just have 2 C next time.
Adelaide: There won’t be a next time, sorry.
Me: OK
I left it at that. I’m not arguing with her stubborn ass. She’ll just have to get over it when I see her in a few hours. Until then, my tired ass was gonna get some z’s.
Nine
Adelaide
When he only responded with ‘ok’, I felt disappointed that he’d just give up like that. So easily. I knew it was only sex. Well, the most amazing, spectacular-wanna cross your eyes and roll them to the back of your skull-sex. But it sucked how fast he just let it go.
Then I feel relieved, because it meant I wouldn’t see him until Aunt Maggie’s birthday Bar-B-Q. In which the whole town was invited, so I probably wouldn’t even see him all that much. I didn’t want to get attached.
After those mind numbing orgasms, and the fact I passed out with bliss without having any bad dreams surface, I almost didn’t leave. I had woken up in his arms. His inked, strong and warm arms, felt so incredibly safe.
There was no hope for it though. I never stayed in a relationship very long. Guys expected things that I wasn’t willing to give. And never will. In a way, that’s what made my arrangement with Dash at the club so great. He helped awaken my own sexuality and the only thing I wouldn’t do was give him a blow job. I made that one of the conditions.
I never went down on a guy. I didn’t ever write them in my books, although so many authors did. The one and only time I tried, I threw up, because I only imagined what happened to me in the past and I couldn’t do it. I ended up rewriting that whole scene.
I wish I could get over it. Ten years was a long time to keep refusing to try. It was why I didn’t let guys go down on me. In a way, I thought it wasn’t fair because I for sure as hell wasn’t gonna reciprocate, and in a sick twisted way, I felt it was just as disgusting to do oral on me as blowing a guy.
That’s why I had to stop Courtland. I felt the creepy crawlies walking over my body and clouding my mind. I was too damn afraid. I knew he had questions about that, because what woman wouldn’t love it if a hot, sexy, tattooed man wanted to go down on her? But he respected my decision. It didn’t ruin the mood, when I was sure it would.
Him holding back though until I reached three monumental spine tingling peaks before his own release, was wild. I knew he had to have been extremely animalistic to keep up his pace like that, withholding his own release. He loved making me reach the unreachable.
Not trying to compare, because no one could do what Courtland did to my body with his cock inside me, but Dash played and showed me all types of ways of coming. Toys, whips-it was like a BDSM for dummies, and in the end, we became friends.
Whenever I got the chance to go to Atlanta, we sometimes got together for dinner or lunch. He was a great advisor and it helped tremendously with my books. He never pushed me to try getting into that scene, and was actually one of the finest gentlemen I’ve ever met. He was all about respecting a woman, but he had ways to make it feel as if you were a possession. All his. It was an experience.
I got back to the hotel, and Gram was sound asleep. Today was the beginning of the panels. A two day course where the first day was for the readers mostly and aspiring writers. There was five different time slots, for different authors. I was in the first time slot and it started at ten. So I was able to get a few hours of sleep. I went straight to my room and quickly fell asleep.
Waking up a few hours later, I still felt sore between my legs, and when I took a shower, I had to be extra careful cleaning myself. I could still feel him inside me. Replaying last night, I slipped my fingers over my still sensitive button and frigged myself into a sweet haze of bliss.
My toy! I totally forgot I brought it with me. I hadn’t realized I would actually need to use it. It was not on my list of things to do this week. I had planned on writing while I was here. I also hadn’t planned on last night, well, this morning, happening either, and right now, I feel like I’m about to burst at the seams. I stopped fingering myself and finished my shower in record time. I wrapped one towel around my body and one around my hair. I walked back into the bed room and tip-toed quickly to lock my bedroom door. I didn’t want Gram coming in and catching me fucking myself with my vibrator. I took my vibrator with me everywhere (you never knew whe
n a desperate time would call for a desperate measure) and I opened my duffle bag to pull out the case I kept it in. I was more into clitoral stimulation then total penetration, but the toy was small enough that it was designed to give maximum clit stimulation and had about thirty little nubs that vibrated so quickly, I came very fast each time. The rest of the toy was supposed to slide in and vibrate against the g-spot.
It didn’t take me long and I thought about Courtland and his talented hands. How dirty he talked to me, it was so completely sexy how he told me how I made him feel. How sweet my pussy was. I was tugging gently on my nipple rings and within moments, the pleasure in my body built and I came, calling out his name. My release spilt from my body. I remember Courtland pushing his release back inside me when it started seeping out. Him telling me that’s where it belonged. I don’t know about that, but it was sexy and hot as hell.
I loved looking at his body. It was so masculine and his chest was only spattered with a little bit of hair and it traveled into a thin line to his pubic area where it dusted around his cock. I never was a chest hair type gal, but on him, it was perfect. The Semper Fidelis on his ribs looked magnificent. His time in the Marines sure filled him out even more.
“Addy-dear, you okay in there?”
Shit. “Uh, yeah about to get dressed for the convention!” Crap. My breath was all shaky and my body was still trembling with spasms, as I tried to calm down. My center was all warm and wet and I knew I had to take another shower and rinse off.
After washing again, I cleaned up my toy and placed it back in its case, in my duffle, as I took out my red silk panties and matching silky lace bra. I know it would look trashy but I took out my white sundress with small red polka-dots and donned them. You didn’t see the bra through the dress though, the top part was layered with material. The dress was perfect and molded to my body lovingly. Working out on my tread climber helped that a lot, and all I needed was to find my red cardigan and my red flats.
Ah. There. Now for make-up and hair. Since my hair was fairly long and hit the middle of my back, I wanted to keep it from sweating out in the Texas summer air. I started French braiding my hair on one side, then to the other side, then braiding it half way down, tying it and leaving the rest of my hair to be straightened out. I didn’t ever wear heavy make-up. Even at twenty-seven, sometimes I couldn’t get rid of the acne. Birth Control sometimes messed with my hormones and if I didn’t wash and exfoliate my face daily, I would break out terribly. Luckily today was not one of those days, so I added light foundation powder and put mascara and black eye-liner on. Then, a touch of lip gloss to plump my lips and I was good to go. It was just before nine and Gram called me to come eat breakfast before heading out to the convention center of the hotel, where the book convention was being held.
“So, I see you didn’t come in until very late. How was it?”
I sat eating my pancakes and thought about what I should tell her. Seeing the concern, mixed with some excitement, I opted for the truth.
“Yes, I ended up falling asleep and it was really nice just relaxing with him. It was almost like we were kids again, but there was a charge in the air that when he finally kissed me, it was electrifying.”
“That’s great Addy. Did the two of you?” She wasn’t shy about asking me these type of questions and when she swiveled her fork back and forth saying, “You know?”
I felt the blush creeping up my neck and covering my cheeks, when she giggled. Of all the people I knew, Gram was my biggest fan. That and she thoroughly believed in the happily ever after. Like what she had with Grandpa. I never thought it would happen to me and I didn’t ever plan on letting a guy get that close to know me, but what had happened with Courtland last night, was something I couldn’t name. It felt like more than sex, but at the same time, hot, wickedly amazing, ‘sex that you only read in books’ type sex.
Carnal. Animalistic. Don’t stop till you drop. Which literally happened. Courtland had been totally relentless.
I nodded my head and giggled along with her. Unlike most parents or grandparents, Gram had no problem with talking about sex or anything concerning my love life. She never went into detail about her and Grandpa (thank God) but she always said ‘you know when the guy is the one when you can’t help but swoon’. Did Courtland make me swoon?
Yes.
Fuck. Yes, he made me swoon. At least, with the sex he did. We really hadn’t talked much. Perhaps, that was for the best.
‡
I could see him in my peripherals. How in the hell did he find out about what I was doing? I knew his sexy ass didn’t read romance novels. He shouldn’t have known about the book convention. I sure as hell didn’t tell him. That meant only one thing.
That sneaky devil went behind my back! Being a Marine, I bet if he didn’t find it himself, he had a buddy who got it for him. I wrote those alpha male, beat his chest in that ‘I am all that is man’ types in books.
Of course he did, the little cheater. That’s why he just said okay in his text.
He looked like he could be a cover model. The red cotton shirt he was wearing formed to his chest and biceps like a lover. I couldn’t see anything else he was wearing, because he was sitting far in the back. As if I wouldn’t notice him? There wasn’t many guys that came to these things unless they were cover models sitting with the authors or husbands, whose wives were romance hardcore romance readers. Courtland stuck out. I couldn’t say like a sore thumb, because he was definite eye candy. The way he was surrounded by women, made me wanna smack someone. Although I could tell he wasn’t talking to any of them.
I felt his molten stare burning through me and making my panties damp with desire. The only bad thing about sitting on a platform, was the tables didn’t have any cloths on the other side to cover our legs and when my thighs tensed, I shifted my legs and I made the mistake peaking over at him.
It might look like he was staring at me but his eyes had shifted to my legs, making them squeeze and shift some more. Even from here, I saw his nose flare as if he could smell my arousal soaking my panties from where he was sitting. Then the bastard smirked and looked back into my eyes before winking.
I couldn’t concentrate very well, but I had answered the questions the reader’s asked, the other four authors and I all contributed to each one. It was awesome seeing the reader’s excitement over books and wanting to get inside our minds. As authors, we knew it was because of dedicated readers, bloggers and reviewers that some of us made it as far as we did. I know it helped me tremendously. I had to get out there, bust my ass, give away a ton of stuff just to get my name out there and those first few books I spent more money on swag, paperback books that were given away, you name it, I gave it away. I wouldn’t change anything though. It was exciting and thrilling to see all the hard work pay off.
The first panel was almost finished, when Courtland raised his hand. One of the other authors called on him but he kept staring straight at me. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
“I’m sorry, we didn’t hear your question.”
“How do you know how to write your love scenes? Are they based on real life experiences or made up?”
He didn’t take his eyes away from me.
The other authors answered and he looked to acknowledge them, but when I didn’t answer, he said, “Ms. Houston?”
“They are for the enjoyment of the reader. To give them a way to escape and sometimes fantasize. They are from the author’s imagination,” and because I could see the gleam in his eyes, I figured he thought I was just writing out of my ass. I thought I would give him something to wipe that damn smirk off his face. “However, if an author decided to do research on a certain subject, they could always figure out a way to get extensive interviews with certain type of people. For example, for one of my series, I wanted to write more provocative type scenes and I could always research on the internet, but I wanted a more real-life experience. So I took it upon myself to go to certain clubs that held the type of kn
owledge I wanted to research.”
The look on his face was priceless. Shock was the first. Then it changed. I didn’t like his expression then. It was hard and his eyes shifted and I knew the whole room could feel the tension radiating off of him.
“What kind of knowledge? What kind of research?”
“BDSM. You’d have to read the series to get the full understanding.”
“And that’s our time. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. The next panel starts in fifteen minutes.”
The crowd stood and I could see Courtland trying to make his way towards me, but was surrounded by hoards of horny women. He was gorgeous. So, I smiled cheekily at him and scurried out the back entrance and into one of the hallways.
I didn’t have anything else planned for the day. I figured I would settle with Gram and see if she wanted to do something, before I would settle down and write.
Gram had told me she was going to go to one of the next panels. She was a reader too and the next panel featured one of her favorite authors. I had the next two hours free. I wanted to get some more rest, too. I opened the door to the room, and I shuffled off my shoes, feeling the soft carpet curl under my toes. When I went to close the door, Courtland was glaring holes into me.