"Well, uh, if maybe you might want to go to the movies with me, after all," he said nervously, glancing at me.
My stomach twitched.
He really was cute. And so normal. So not Tobias.
He had almost certainly never eaten a mouse. On the other hand, he'd never morphed a sperm whale and gone to the bottom of the ocean while his brain was reeling with barely suppressed terror, just so he could look out for me.
154 I opened my mouth to say, "Sure." Instead I said, "Hey, do you speak English? How many ways do I have to say 'no'?"
He called me a name I've been called before. Then he took off. I was pretty sure he wouldn't ask me out again.
«Hey, he was cute,» Tobias called down from the sky.
"Oh, shut up, you mouse-eating freak," I said.
Tobias laughed. He knew better than to take me too seriously. «l heard that! Heard what he called you, too. The guy is perceptive as well as cute.»
"I know. I'm gonna go get some wings and come on up there. Keep an eye out for me."
«l always will,» he said.
155 Don't; miss
Animorphs
#28 The Experiment
Television. Or as most humans say, TV.
Ah, yes: TV!
I never expected it to be so compelling. At first I thought it would only be useful. I would watch the behavior of the humans on the flat, square screen and listen to them speak. When I am in human morph, I need to be able to seem entirely human.
But it is so much more than merely useful. It is a window into the human soul. Technologically it is laughable, of course, but when you take into account the stunning array of programs, it rivals the cinnamon bun itself as the finest creation of human society.
Tobias, too, enjoys TV. He comes every day to watch a show with me. It is called The Young and the Restless. It is very educational, though I remain confused as to the cause of so much restlessness.
156 TV allows me to observe much more human behavior than I see at the mall. I am still wondering why humans put their mouths together. And why they seem to enjoy it. My first thought was that they were transferring food. But that seems not to be the case.
«Look, Tobias! Victor and Nikki are doing that thing again!» I pointed at the screen. «They do this very often.»
«Uh-huh.» His hawk eyes were trained on the little screen as Victor tightened his arms around Nikki. «It's called kissing, Ax-man. Just like yesterday. And the day before. Kissing. Everyone does it. Of course, you need lips.»
«l know what it is called. And the role of lips is self-evident. I simply do not know why it is performed^
«Ah, Well . . .» Tobias rearranged his wings noisily. «It's definitely got a purpose. By the way, Marco's heading this way.»
«Yes, I know,» I said. «l saw him two minutes ago, although he is trying not to be seen.»
«l heard him three minutes ago and saw him four minutes ago,» Tobias said.
Tobias is competitive when it comes to his senses. His hearing and sight are both better than mine. But I am able to look in all directions simultaneously, something he cannot do.
«You did not,» I said.
157 «Did so,» Tobias countered.
"Nothing likes the joys of daytime TV, huh?" Marco said, stomping up through the underbrush.
«Did not,» I said to Tobias.
Marco grinned at me. "Snuck up on you, didn't I?"
«Yeah, right, Marco,» Tobias said tolerantly.
Marco laughed. He knew he had not surprised us. His claim to have snuck up on us was human humor. It is inexplicable, and Andalite readers should simply resign themselves to never understanding.
«And by the way, why are you not in school, young man?»
"Hey, I can't be controlled by 'the man's' arbitrary schedules. I come and go as I please. I am free. No one holds me down."
«Teacher conference?» Tobias said.
"Yeah, they let us out early. So. What's on the tube? Is this . . . Whoa! Who's that? And does she always walk around wearing a towel?"
«Well, I'm hungry. I gotta go find a mouse. See you, Ax-man. Later, Marco,» Tobias said, and then he spread his wings and was gone.
"Watching a soap, huh?" Marco said, nodding his head.
«Soap?» I was confused. «No. This show is about humans who are both young and restless.»
158 Marco sighed. "Whatever you call it, it basically reeks, you know. I think it's time I introduced you to some better programming, Ax. Buffy. Party of Five, maybe. Cops. South Park. Something, anything better than this. Although she is hot."
«Yes, she is hot. This is why she often wears less artificial skin.»
"Yeah, well, I think you may have your cause and effect turned around there. Hey, you know what you need? A TV Guide."
I bristled. «l understand how to operate the TV. Human technology is -»
"Take it easy!" Marco held up his hands. "Everything with you has got to be literal. TV Guide is a little book that tells you what shows are on, and when. Come on, I'm bored. Let's cruise."
The notion of a guide to all that TV had to offer was attractive. But I would have to morph my human form to go into the town.
«Perhaps we could obtain cinnamon buns as well,» I suggested.
"Why not? Maybe we'll run into Jake at the mall. He can buy."
Every morph is a surprise. The last time I morphed to human, my own more or less humanoid parts, my head and arms, changed last. This time they were first.
159 I felt teeth growing beneath my lower face. In fact, my entire human mouth, consisting of a hinged jaw, teeth, tongue, and saliva-producing glands, was fully formed before lips appeared.
Lips form an open hole in the bottom third of a human face. The hole is used for eating and for forming mouth-sounds. As well as kissing, spitting, vomiting, and belching.
Humans do a great deal with their mouths, most of it rather pointless.
My more numerous fingers disappeared, melting into ten stronger, thicker human fingers. My stalk eyes retracted into my head, leaving me unable to see behind me without either turning my head or turning my entire body.
My front legs shriveled away, leaving me to perch precariously on my two hind legs. Of course, humans have only two legs, and no tail at all. So they go through life constantly on the verge of falling over.
My blue fur was the last to go, replaced by my own particular shade of human skin. Human skin comes in a variety of shades, none of them attractive.
At least not to me. If you are a human, you must find something attractive about your fellow humans. Humans who are young and restless are almost continuously in a state of attraction to others.
160 When I was fully human - awkward, slow, and devoid of natural weapons - I put on my artificial skin. Humans call it clothing.
"I am ready," I said, making mouth sounds. "R-r-r-ready. Red. E. Red. E."
"How about putting on a shirt?" Marco asked.
"The men who are young and restless do not wear shirts. I am young. And I am occasionally restless."
"Ax?"
"Yes, Marco?"
"Put on a shirt."
I did. Then I folded my scoop down so that nothing, including the TV, would be visible. Not even to a human walking directly over the spot.
I walked with Marco out of the woods, across the farthest fields of Cassie's farm, and toward the mall. It took a long time. Humans walk slowly, a result of having only two legs and no tail.
We crossed fields and then walked along a street - a path for cars. Then . . .
"Well, hello, Marco. Hey, Ax," someone called.
Marco stopped short and looked around, turning his entire human head in order to see in different directions. "Who said that?"
"Here, Marco."
I turned my human head to follow the voice. It was a truck painted with the word FedEx. And it was talking to us.
posed
Applegate, K A - Animorphs 27 - The Exposed Page 9