by Sienna Parks
“Hey, brother! Didn’t expect to see you here. What’s your poison tonight?” I can always rely on Kirby not to overanalyze me, or expect to be my bartender psychologist.
“Double shot of bourbon.”
“You here alone?”
“Jax dropped me for the first girl he saw. Nothing new there. Lottie here?”
“Yeah. She’s been dancing all night. Haven’t gotten a moment with her.”
“Why don’t you let me serve this rabble for a while? Go dance with your wife.”
“I’m not going to leave you to deal with all this.” His protest is half-assed at best.
“Go. I was on the circuit for ten years – I know how to pour shots. Better than sitting by myself. Go.” He jumps over the bar. A man intent on getting his girl in his arms. I admire them. They knew what they wanted, and they made it happen. Simple and to the point. No messy complications.
“Thanks, bro!”
I wave him off and slide behind the bar. There’s something comforting about putting a physical barrier between me and everyone else – especially A.B. The moment I set foot in here tonight, I could pinpoint her location without looking. I feel her eyes on me, and it’s taking every ounce of strength I have, not to cave immediately and go to her. All I can think about is making love to her, feeling her fall apart beneath me. Behind this bar, I can fool myself for a little while longer. I can pretend the outcome isn’t inevitable. Tonight, I decide who I want to be. “Okay, ladies – who wants to do a shot with this thirsty bull rider.” Women crowd around the bar, $20 bills waving in their hands.
Now this is familiar territory.
Chapter Twelve
ANNABETH
My heartbeat doubled the moment he walked in the door. It’s as if I knew he was there before I saw him; his presence causing a physical reaction I can’t contain. I’ve been doing my best to give him space over the past few weeks. He has more important things to worry about than me. I’ve checked in with Jax to see if Pops was doing okay and to remind him that Rae’s cast needs to come off soon. Every day it gets harder not to go to Maddox and make him listen to what I have to say. I want to show him that I understand his responsibilities – that Rae will always be his number one priority, and I respect that.
I didn’t expect to see him tonight, but I know I need to talk to him. I don’t want things to go back to the way they were when I first arrived. If he doesn’t want us to be together, I hope he will at least give me a chance to be a friend to him, even though it would break my heart every day. I owe him that. I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to go over and speak to him for an hour now. He’s been mixing drinks like Tom Cruise in Cocktail, and the women of Kingsbury Falls are lapping it up. Literally, the bar needs mopping from all their drooling. He seems happy, and as much as I hate the attention he’s getting, it’s lovely to see him smile – showing those panty-melting dimples that are impossible to deny.
“You gonna go over there, or just sit here staring all night?” Kirby and Lottie appear at my side.
“I’m thinking the latter. Creepy stalker is all the rage right now.” Neither of them cracks a smile; arms folded over their chests like security guards in a nightclub. “Not in the mood for jokes tonight?”
“Not when it comes to this.” Lottie sits down, signaling Kirby to go and get some drinks. “You mean a lot to me, A.B. You know that, right?”
“You mean a lot to me, too.”
“And Maddox and Rae mean a lot to me. I want to see them happy more than anything.”
“I don’t want to hurt him.”
“I know you don’t. But, the longer you wait and the more space you give him, the more it’s going to hurt. You and I both know you should have come back here long ago. You love him, and if you want him to trust you enough to love you back and let you in Rae’s life, then you gotta start earning his trust – and hers.” I glance in Maddox’s direction, to find him staring back. My lungs constrict and drop into my stomach. His eyes burn into my soul from across the room, and I find myself walking towards him; cutting through the crowd like a knife through butter.
My entire body sparks to life when he jumps up and over the bar, parting the cluster of adoring women, his focus solely on me. The thrill of excitement that runs through my veins is similar to that feeling you would get as a kid, going to bed on Christmas Eve, knowing that Santa was on his way. When Maddox and I were young, I loved him more than I’d ever loved anyone. He was my world, and I still remember our first kiss as if it were yesterday. But, this feeling… surpasses that tenfold. My reaction to him as a man is so much more intense. Just the thought of his lips on my skin makes me flush with the spark that gets ignited every time he looks at me.
“Hi.”
“Hey, darlin’.” His familiar drawl is a delight to my senses.
“Can we talk?”
“Only if you dance with me first.” He slips his hand into mine and leads me to the dance floor.
“Have you been drinking, Mad? Because I don’t want to talk to you drunk.” He pulls me into his arms, wrapping his arm tight around my waist.
“No. Just shut up and dance with me. There’s plenty of time for talking later. I just want five minutes to enjoy the feel of you in my arms. Is that so bad?” The dimples come out, and I am powerless to resist him.
“One dance.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The smell of his cologne is intoxicating; the feel of his broad chest pressed against my body – sublime.
One dance becomes two, and before I know it, I’ve lost track of how many songs the band has played. Whether slow or fast, Maddox held me firm, our movements unhurried. Neither one of us wants to break our connection. When the band finally takes a break, and the dance floor is empty, I can’t ignore the elephant in the room any longer. “Do you have to get home to Rae? Or do you have a little time to talk?”
“I’ve got time.” He takes my hand and heads for the exit. “I’m sorry I walked out last time we talked. It was all just… there was a lot going on, and I didn’t want to fight with you. I should have called, or come by, but I wasn’t ready to have my heart broken again.”
As we step out into the moonlight, I look to the sky. Maybe for strength, or answers, or just to delay this conversation. “I don’t want to break your heart, Mad. I love you.” He doesn’t move, his eyes firmly fixed on the stars above.
“Don’t say that, A.B. Not unless you mean it.”
“I do mean it. Please, Mad, look at me.”
“I can’t. I have to say this, and if I look at you, I won’t be able to. I’ll kiss you, and then I’ll find somewhere to take you where I can make love to you, and listen to the fucking amazing little noises you make when you come.”
“Maddox.”
“I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. Even when I was five years old, I knew you were the only girl for me. When you left… I was… broken. Not just my heart, but who I was as a person. I never recovered from that. I never trusted anyone, never gave them a chance to really love me. Before you came back, I thought I was happy with my lot in life. I have Rae, and the ranch. But now? You make me want it all. Everything we ever dreamed about when we were young. I’m never going to stop loving you, A.B., but I don’t trust you.”
My mind goes blank – the conversation I’ve been having with him in my head for two weeks now, vanishing without a trace. I believe him when he says he still loves me, and that makes my heart soar in ways it never has before. But, hearing him say I can’t be trusted – hurts more than words can express. And, the worst part about it – is that he has every right to say those words to me. I broke his trust in the worst way possible, and if I want him back, I need to earn it back.
“I understand. It can’t have been easy for you to hear how I came back to town, but if you’ll let me, I want to tell you the full story, and maybe I can make a start on earning back your trust?”
He leads me to a bench at the far side of the barn, before gesturing for me t
o sit. “I’m listening, A.B. I’m not going anywhere.” My eyes begin to fill with tears.
“Goddammit. I didn’t want to cry.” He takes my hand in his, offering me the courage I need to go on.
“Take your time.” The warm night air fills my lungs as I breathe deeply, struggling to find my center.
“Okay… firstly, I’m not going to excuse any of my behavior, but I do want to explain my reasons. I’m not the same girl that left here all those years ago thinking I knew what was best for us. I can’t speak for you, but if I could go back, I would do it all differently. I would give it all up to be with you.
“I would never have asked that of you.”
“I know. And that’s one of the reasons I love you.” His hand squeezes mine tight. “I love you, Maddox. It took me a long time to realize that the way I feel about you is never going to change. That’s why I shut out any trace of you all those years ago. It’s why I got so wrapped up in my patients that it crushed me when I lost that little girl. Her name was Jennifer. She was smart, and funny, and she had so many dreams for her life. My ability to ignore my life, died with her.” I can’t hold back the emotion that’s been crushing my chest for months.
Maddox scoops me into his lap wrapping his arms around me. I let it go. Everything that’s been slowly killing me. “I tried to save your dad. I wanted to bring him back for you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He gently wipes the tears from my eyes.
“You did everything you could. It wasn’t your fault. I could never have survived that day without you, A.B. Don’t you get that?” Our lips meet in a ghost of a kiss, soft and slow before turning needy and frantic. I want to lose myself in him more than anything, but in this moment, I know I have to pull back.
“As much as I want to taste you, feel you, and love you right now, I need to explain why I came back.” I extricate myself from his warm embrace, pacing the ground in front of him. “Maddox, the man I lived with in New York – we started drifting apart almost a year ago. He wanted things that I couldn’t give him. That I didn’t want… with him. Mad, he proposed before I left.”
“Why did you wait until now to tell me this?” I can hear the pain in his voice, and I hate that I’m the cause of it.
“He didn’t propose because he loved me. He did it because I fit into his timeline. We weren’t madly in love – we were… easy. I found out a year ago…” The only way I can choke out the rest of this sentence, is to turn my back to him. “I can’t have kids, Maddox.”
“Annabeth…”
“Jonathan, my ex, was happy that we could focus on our careers. He didn’t care that I’ve always wanted to be a mom. He wouldn’t entertain the idea of wasting time and energy to try and have a family. That was a defining moment for me. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I didn’t want to have kids with him. It’s always been you, Maddox. I knew that I’d missed my chance with you, but the moment he proposed, I couldn’t deny my feelings any longer. The closest I could get to the life I threw away, was to come back to Kingsbury Falls and put down some sort of roots.”
“I have to ask one thing. Why did you leave without telling him all of this?”
“I tried, over and over again, but listening to me wasn’t exactly his strong suit. There were a lot of rumors around the hospital of him sleeping with one of his interns. I tried to ignore them, but after Jennifer, I knew I had to make a change. Every time I tried to talk to him, he made excuses and cut our discussion short. When he proposed, I knew the rumors were true. In the end, I got tired of waiting for him to make time for me. I wrote him a letter explaining everything. We’ve talked since and he understands why I couldn’t stay. I promise you I didn’t make the same mistake I made when I left you. It’s my biggest regret, and I know I need to earn your trust, but I’m here, Maddox – asking you to give me a second chance.”
His arms snake around my shoulders, his lips finding my ear. “We need to take it slow.” His fingertips caress my cheek.
“Are you saying yes? We can give this… us... a try?” I twist in his arms, my palms gently cupping the scruff on his face.
“Yes. I love you, A.B. Always have, always will – but you have to give me time. I gotta make sure I do right by Rae. She just lost her granddaddy.”
“What about the fact that I can’t have kids? If you want more, I can’t do that for you.”
“We can adopt a whole football team if you want. I want you, A.B. All of you, just as you are.” His lips descend on mine in a tirade of emotion, pouring it all into this one kiss. My hands fist in his hair, desperate to pull him closer; delighting in the rush as his hands roam my body with wild abandon. I push into his palm as his fingers bite into my breast – on the edge between pleasure and pain.
“You guys seriously need to get a room. Outdoor sex at a party? Really?” Jax appears in the darkness, a sly grin on his face.
“Fuck off, Jax. Could you be any more of a cock-block right now?” I laugh against Mad’s chest, a little embarrassed by our lack of control.
“I just came to tell you I’m splitting.” He gestures toward the barn door; a pretty woman I’ve never seen before, waiting for him with a shy smile and lust in her eyes.
“Afraid not, brother. I need you to go and stay at the ranch tonight. Pops isn’t up to an overnight with Rae yet, and as you can see…” He slaps my ass. “I have my hands full.”
“What the fuck?” He stares at Mad in disbelief.
I wander over to my friend, pulling him into a tight hug, whispering in his ear. “Please, Jackson. Maddox and I need tonight. I’m begging you.” He looks to Maddox.
“Fuck! You owe me big time.”
A glorious smile spreads across Mad’s lips, those dimples working overtime. “I’ll be back before Rae gets up.” He slaps his friend on the back, and hands over his keys, before grabbing my hand and dragging me to the parking lot. I wave goodbye to Jax, watching as he presses the pretty blonde against the barn, making the most of the outdoors before heading to the ranch.
Maddox throws me over his shoulder, striding through the field with purpose. “Where’s your truck?”
“I walked. My place is only five minutes from here.”
“I don’t know if I can wait that long.”
The short walk to my house took twenty minutes; Maddox and I unable to keep our hands off each other for more than thirty seconds. My body is on fire by the time we reach the front door, craving his naked flesh more than my next breath.
“Fuck, A.B. You sure this is what you want?” His words are broken, his breath labored as he kicks the door shut behind us.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
“I can’t do this again if you’re not all in. Being able to kiss every inch of your body, to feel your body quiver as I come inside you. It almost broke me getting a taste of you again, only to have you walk out. If we do this right now, there’s no going back – I’ll never recover.”
“Make love to me, Maddox Hale. I’m yours. I always have been.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, he rips open my shirt, tearing at the cups of my bra to expose my naked flesh. Dropping his head, the warmth of his mouth surrounds my nipples, licking and flicking with his tongue until they are tightly budded with anticipation. Grabbing me around the waist, we stumble down the hallway.
“Where’s your room?” Gasping between kisses, I try to speak a coherent thought.
“Couch. Left. Now. Can’t wait.” I claw at his T-shirt as he lowers us onto the couch. Our lips part just long enough to pull it over his head and drop it to the ground. “Oh God.” He makes short work of my jeans, dragging them down my legs with a hunger I’ve never seen before. It’s sexy as hell, and all I want is to watch him come apart for me. He dips his head, to kiss me through my panties, driving me wild. “Holy fuck. Mad, I want to taste you.”
“All in good time, darlin’. Right now, I need to eat you or I’m gonna lose my mind.” He pushes my underwear to the side, sliding his tongue down the
length of me. “Fuck. I’m never going to get enough of you, Annabeth.” My back arches, my fingers gripping his hair, forcing him to take more of me. His murmurs of delight send vibrations throughout my body, and I quickly find myself succumbing to an intense climax.
Without another word, I extricate myself from his grasp, pushing him into a seated position. I begin by kissing him, long and hard, my hands enjoying the taut muscles of his abdomen; his soft tanned skin, warm and inviting. My fingers follow the happy trail of hair down from his bellybutton, slipping under his waistband. I can’t get his jeans off fast enough, tugging at them as I kiss down his abs, breathing in the scent of him. “You keep kissing down that path, there’s no way I’m going to be able to control myself, darlin’.”
As I pull his boxers off, my core tightens, ready to take every last inch of him. “Who says I want you to be controlled? I plan on watching you lose control while I suck your cock.” His eyes light up. Giving him a blow job was not one of the firsts I enjoyed with him in high school. I never really got the fascination with it, and with future boyfriends I just saw it as a chore. Taking in the sight of him, naked and waiting for me, my stomach somersaults up into my lungs, making it hard to breathe. His cock is hard as steel, and sexy as hell.
From somewhere deep inside, I feel a confidence – a freedom surge through me. I hold his gaze, dropping to my knees in front of him. I’ve never felt so powerful. His eyelids are hooded, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. I mimic his action, flicking my tongue over the tip of his cock, and am rewarded with a groan of pleasure. “Fuck me.” I wrap my hand around the base, letting my mouth encase his shaft. His skin feels amazing as I begin to move, slow and deliberate. “Your mouth feels so fucking good, A.B.” His head drops back on the couch, his arm coming up to stifle his moans.