by Sienna Parks
“God… she is so smart, sweet, and kind. You’re doing a fantastic job with her.”
“Thanks. Seeing her tonight, I feel like she’s been missing out. I try to be daddy and momma to her, but I know it’s different. But, she’s never known anything else, and so I’m constantly convincing myself that I’m enough. Does that make sense?”
“Yes. I know you wanted to do the right thing by her and Sam, but do you honestly think she would have been better off growing up with two parents who didn’t love each other? I truly believe that kids adapt better than we ever do.” She runs her fingers through Rae’s curls. “This little girl is right where she needs to be – with a daddy who loves her more than anything else in the world. She isn’t missing out, Mad. She has something that so many kids never have. You’re enough.”
“Maybe.” She stops me in the middle of the street, her hand resting gently on my arm. When my gaze finds hers, there is so much compassion, and confidence staring back at me.
“You are enough, Maddox Hale. You always have been, and you always will be.” She pushes up onto her tiptoes, pressing her lips firmly on mine. My body vibrates at her touch, the sultry caress of her tongue melting my concerns in the heat of the moment. Rae begins to wriggle on my hip, wiping her eyes on my T-shirt.
“Let’s get you home, little one.” She settles at the sound of my voice. A.B. reaches over, running her fingers through Rae’s soft golden curls.
“Goodnight, Sally Rae.” She pecks her on the cheek, before giving me one last sensual kiss. She opens the door to my truck, and watches as I settle my girl in her car seat.
“Goodnight, Mad.” She sashays down the street to where her truck is parked. I can’t take my eyes off her, and that’s when I know how much trouble I’m really in. I thought taking things slow with A.B. and Rae, would help me keep a level head, but tonight has just proven how wrong I’ve been. Without a shadow of a doubt, A.B. is The One, and no matter how hard I fight it – seeing her with Rae just knocks down all of my walls. I know that my life will go on if A.B. were to leave again, but I saw how much Rae adored her tonight… and it terrified me.
Chapter Fourteen
ANNABETH
I never thought the life I wanted was within my grasp. When I was eighteen, I gave up hope that women could have it all. My momma had drilled me well. She told me I had to get out of this town, and that I should never give up my dreams for a man. I know she made sacrifices for our family, but at the time, I couldn’t comprehend just how much she had wanted a career.
It’s easy to take for granted, that as women in the 21st century, we can be whatever we want to be. No one ever told me that I couldn’t be a doctor. My mom supported me 100%. She encouraged me to follow my path and wipe the dust of this town from my feet. I will always be grateful to her for that.
Now that I’m older, I realize I want different things for my life. There was a time when I thought being a surgeon was everything I needed, and maybe it was for a while. But, if I’m honest with myself, I always knew deep down that Maddox was the missing piece. All of the achievements and accolades never filled the void I felt, from the moment I left him behind.
When I found out I could never have kids, I gave up hope of having a family. It wasn’t until Jennifer died that I woke up to my life. I knew then, that I had to come back to Kingsbury Falls to find myself. I never anticipated being so happy. I miss the rush of surgery. The sense of meaning that comes with saving a life. But, I actually enjoy being a family doctor. Or, maybe it’s that I’ve found happiness in other areas of my life, and so I don’t have the same need for surgery.
Getting a second chance with Maddox is more than I ever hoped for. It doesn’t feel like we’ve rekindled our romance. What we have now feels new, fresh, yet has the comfort that comes with familiarity. We know each other so well, and yet, still have so much to learn about who we’ve become and where our lives have taken us.
I’ve been trying to take things slow when it comes to Rae, and that’s as much to do with her, as it is with Maddox. I want him to see that I respect his wishes and his relationship with his daughter. When I look in her eyes, that so closely resemble her daddy’s, I can’t believe how I reacted when I first met her – a physical reaction that I couldn’t control. But, now – I’m so happy that he was able to have a biological child, because it’s something I could never give him. Rae is so incredible; you can’t help but love her. And I do. I want her to feel safe with me, and know that I’m not going to leave. I want to earn a place in their hearts, and it scares the hell out of me. If he decided tomorrow that we weren’t going to work, I wouldn’t just be losing him now – I’d lose Rae and Pops, too.
In the name of space, I’m going out with Lottie for lunch, and boy-talk. Maddox wanted me to spend the day at the ranch, but I don’t want to encroach on his time with Rae too much, so we settled on a movie night. I promised her we would watch Tangled and paint our nails! I think I’m more excited than she is.
“Wow! You’re in the home-screen phase already?” Lottie grabs my phone from the table.
“Shut up.” I swipe it from her hand, eager to see the message that just lit up my phone. It’s the cutest selfie of Mad and Rae, with the caption WISH YOU WERE HERE on the bottom. My heart skips a beat at the sight of their smiling faces, and I can’t help but laugh at Jax photobombing them in the background.
“You’ve got it bad, friend.”
“You’re telling me. I love them. I think about them when I’m not with them, and when I am, I don’t want to leave.”
“Them?” Her eyes well with tears.
“Of course. Rae is a part of Maddox – how could I not love her. And things with him are so good, Lottie. It was never like this when we were young.”
“You’re not the same people you were back then.”
“I know, but the chemistry…” I squeeze my thighs together under the table at the thought of it. “It’s off the charts. If I could live my life with him inside me – I would.” She chokes on her sweet tea, spraying it all over my T-shirt.
“Holy crap, A.B.! TMI.”
“Sorry!” We descend into giggling school girls as I wipe my top with a napkin. “Come on. I need to go and buy a new T-shirt to wear tonight.”
We wander around the main street, enjoying the summer sun, talking and laughing. Five tops later and we take a break in the town square, lapping up the afternoon sun, when Lottie’s face suddenly drains of color. “Are you okay? Are you feeling faint?” I immediately go into doctor mode, checking her pulse. “Talk to me. Your pulse is racing.” She snaps out of it.
“I’m fine. Just a wave of Texas heat that got the better of me for a moment.” She quickly grabs her bags, pushing me away. “Stop fussing. Not everything is life or death.” She realizes her mistake and starts stuttering an apology. “Shit! That was insensitive.”
“I’m overcautious. I know.”
“A.B.”
“Let’s not talk about it. I need to get home and change before my date with Mad. Do you have any more shopping to do?”
“No. I should be getting back to Kirby and the kids.” Her eyes shift around the square, like a whore in church.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem… nervous.”
“I’m just tired. Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“We’re good. My truck is this way.” We say our goodbyes, but when I look over my shoulder, she’s on the phone faster than a prairie fire with a tailwind – and she seems upset.
I give Maddox a quick call to make sure we’re still on for tonight. I can hear Rae shouting and laughing in the background. I don’t want to worry him, so I don’t mention my strange interaction with Lottie, instead focusing on the night ahead. I really want it to go well with Rae.
When I get off the phone, I decide to go to one last store, to get a few supplies for movie night.
“You didn’t have to do all this, A.B.” I’m busy setting up a mini-salon for Rae.
“I k
now, but I thought she would like it. Is it too much?” I’m nervous. I desperately want to make a good impression on her. I don’t know why I’m so worried. She’s always such a sweet little thing whenever I see her, but this feels different somehow.
“Sit.” It’s a command rather than a request. “Rae is going to love it. She enjoys spending time with you. You don’t need to try so hard – she’s three. Trust me, if she didn’t like you, you’d know it. Relax. You’re amazing.”
“Really?” His lips capture mine in a sensual kiss.
“Yes.” He trails kisses down my neck, as his hands find their way to my breasts. “Yes.” His lips ghosting over my shoulder. “Yes.” As I drop my head back, losing myself to the sensation, the front door slams open, a miniature tornado twisting through the living room.
“Daddy! Docor! Me and Uncle Jax got popcorns, and chocate, and gummy worms.” Mad scoops her up into his arms.
“All my favorites? Who’s the best girl ever?”
“Me, Daddy!” Her sweet laughter dances through the air, enveloping everything it touches in a whirlwind of happiness. I leave them to their fun and head into the kitchen to help Jax.
“You staying for movie night?”
“Nah. I best be going.”
“Come on. We’ve got a ton of food, and we’re watching… Tangled. You know you want to.”
“Well, I do have a bit of a cartoon crush on Rapunzel. Guess I can stay for a while… as long as you guys don’t mind?” For all of Jax’s bravado, his vulnerability is quite disarming when he lets his guard down. It’s endearing.
“You’re part of the family. I’m the one that’s out of place here.” He leans down, his voice a low whisper.
“You and I both know, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, A.B.” With a wry smile, he grabs the bowl of popcorn and heads for the living room. I follow closely behind, marveling at the bonds they have formed in my absence. Watching them interact, I realize how Jax has become a part of the family. We were all close growing up, but seeing them now, he and Mad are brothers in every way. And Rae loves him so much. He finds the most shocking pink polish and gives it a shake.
“Okay, Sunshine – you paintin’ my nails, or what?”
“Yay. Daddy, you do Docor A.B.’s nails.” Mad is already browsing colors, a shy grin on his face, as he shrugs his shoulders at me.
“I’m pretty good, I’m not gonna lie.” I drop down onto the couch next to Jax, who is already sporting a bright pink thumbnail.
“Do your worst, cowboy.”
We laugh, eat, and I paint Rae’s nails with as much glitter and color as I can manage on her tiny little nails. When we’re done, she climbs into my lap to watch the movie, and the elation I feel as she falls asleep in my arms, is overwhelming. I never anticipated the warmth that spreads throughout my body and straight to my heart.
It’s amazing how finality breeds clarity. I used to swing between wanting a family and wanting the most out of my career. But, the moment I learned I would never have a biological child of my own, it became crystal clear. I want to be a mother – it’s something I crave. Looking at Rae, nestled in my lap, I can’t understand how or why her mom would leave. I know it has no bearing on the situation I find myself in, but I can’t help feeling angry.
There are so many women in the world, who never wanted to be moms, or aren’t fit to be one. Nature doesn’t discriminate, and no amount of wishing can change where I find myself. Ironically, it stung less when I thought I’d blown any chance of finding happiness with Maddox. I’m so happy to have another shot with him, but it makes this so much harder for me. I know it hasn’t been long, but I’m already certain that he’s the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I would love more than anything to be able to have a child with him.
Maddox, Jax, and I end up watching the rest of the movie, and when the credits roll, Rae starts squirming. “I’m going to put her to bed. You guys can pick the next movie.” Mad lifts her into his arms, rubbing circles on her back with a gentleness that betrays his imposing, masculine frame. There is nothing more beautiful than the sight of them together. “I’ll be right back, darlin’.”
“I’m going to head off and let you two lovebirds have some time.” Jax quickly removes the polish that Rae so excitedly applied.
“You don’t need to leave on my account.”
“I’m not. I have a lady friend I need to go meet with.” Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, I determine it’s best not to ask questions. As we chat back and forth, Mad’s phone starts ringing on the table. When Jax sees that it’s Kirby, he answers with a lewd comment and a chuckle to himself, before quickly sobering. My heart begins to race. In my experience, an expression like that never heralds good news.
“Is everything okay, Jax? Are Lottie and the kids okay?” He nods in reassurance, placing his hand over the receiver.
“All good. Kirby wants us all to go down to Cardinals for drinks. You in? I’m sure Pops won’t mind. Rae’s already out for the count.” I don’t want to go out to a bar, but I tell him I’ll go and ask Maddox. As I make my way down the hall, I hear Jax whisper as he heads outside.
I was talking to A.B. She’s here right now… yes, I’m going to try. When did you find this out? Why the fuck didn’t you call sooner? Leave it with me… I’m on it.
I don’t want him to know that I’ve been listening, so I quickly creep to the restroom and close the door until I can just see through the smallest crack. He cusses under his breath a few times before slinking past Rae’s room, his entire demeanor shifty as he raps on Pops’ door and enters before Maddox sees him.
After a few minutes, he reappears and attempts to catch Mad’s attention without waking Rae. I make a point of letting my presence be known, causing Jax to jump in surprise. “What the hell, A.B.? Where did you come from?” His eyes flicker between me and the door to Pops’ room. What the hell is he up to?
“I needed to use the restroom. Is that okay with you?” My accusatory tone unsettles him. A nervous laugh escapes him.
“Of course. Did you talk to Mad? Let’s go get our drink on.” He virtually manhandles me back into the living room, grabbing my boots, keys and purse before thrusting them at my chest.
“What the fuck are you doing, Jax?” Mad looks to me for answers that I don’t have.
“Everything okay, A.B.? Why are you leaving?” I drop my stuff on the floor, turning to Jax with my hands on my hips.
“I’m not.”
“Kirby called. He wants us to go down for a drink. Come on, Mad. It’ll be fun. I was just helping A.B. get organized.” I can see the same disgruntled confusion in the furrow of Maddox’s brow.
“I just put Rae down. I can’t leave Pops with her again. He’s still not himself.”
“I already talked to him. He says it’s fine.”
“Why the fuck would you disturb him before talking to me. You go. A.B. and I are just going to chill.” He looks to me for confirmation.
“Unless you really want to go?”
“I’m not really in the mood, Mad. If you guys want to go, I’m happy to sit here and keep an ear out for Rae. I really don’t mind.” Mad strides over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, he pulls me firmly against him. Tension evident in every taut muscle.
“I want to be here with you. I have zero desire to go and sit in a bar with a bunch of drunks tonight.” He plants a soft kiss on my head before turning his attention back to Jax.
“You go. What’s the big deal? You’re never exactly lonely. I’m sure there are plenty of willing ladies with questionable judgement, who will be more than happy to keep you company. Besides, if Kirby called, he obviously has cover at the bar, and is planning to hang with you anyway.”
“Don’t be that couple.”
“What… the kind who are happy to hang out together? I thought you above anyone else would understand how different my life is… and how important it is for me to give Rae the stability she needs right now. She’s stil
l missing my dad.” Jax’s face drops at the mention of Bobby. He knows he’s being irrational, and a little erratic. Ten minutes ago, he was half asleep, content to watch Disney movies and hang with his oldest friends. Now… he’s being a dick to Mad. I don’t get it.
“Fine, but Mad – I need to talk to you before I go. It’s important.”
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”
“No. It can’t.” His eyes widen as he grabs his keys, wallet, and phone. He gives me a tight hug and slaps Maddox on the arm, gesturing for him to follow outside. Mad rolls his eyes, giving me a reassuring squeeze before pulling his boots on and heading out after Jax.
“I’ll be back in a minute, darlin’. Goin’ to see what’s got his ox in a ditch.”
I peek out the window a few minutes later to see Maddox and Jax deep in conversation. Mad is pacing the driveway, throwing his hands in the air. He’s yelling, but I can’t make out what he’s saying. It doesn’t seem like he’s shouting at Jax, but he’s definitely upset about something.
I hear Rae making noises, and go to check on her, leaving Mad and Jax to their top secret conversation. “Hey, sweetheart. You okay?”
“I had a bad dweam.”
“Do you want me to get Daddy for you?”
“Don’t leave. Pwease stay with me.” I crouch at her bedside and begin to stroke her hair, softly singing her favorite song from Tangled, humming the parts I can’t remember the words to. She clutches my arm tight to her chest, melting my heart with her innocent trust. I don’t know how long I sit, watching as her small breaths even out in quiet slumber. It’s not until a crack of light streams in from the door, that I notice Maddox standing, leaning against the doorjamb.
“I am so in love with you, Annabeth. You know that, don’t you?” My eyes fill with tears. I’ve never been happier. I scramble to my feet and rush into his arms.
“I love you, too.” He leads me back to the living room, before gently removing my boots and snuggling us down onto the couch. We put on a movie, but I can feel the tension pouring off him in waves. He looks at his phone, every few minutes, his leg bouncing restlessly.