by Sienna Parks
My heart breaks for a scared five-year-old Xander, terrified of losing his mommy, but being strong for her.
“Then I found a lump in my right breast when he was sixteen. He should have been out with his friends having fun and being a normal sixteen-year-old boy, but not him - he came to every chemo session, rubbed my back when I was sick, and looked after me every day without complaint. They caught it early enough that time. I had the lump removed and the treatment got anything they might have missed. I really thought that was the end of it.”
I haven’t noticed a single room on our tour of the house, but understand that Lizzie wants me to know what Xander has been through.
“A year ago I found another lump, and I immediately had a double-mastectomy followed by chemotherapy. Now that I’ve come through that, I got reconstructive surgery two months ago. I’m healing well but I’m still a bit tired out. Xander worries too much, but I can’t really blame him. He’s been through a lot. It’s lovely to see how happy he is lately, and I’m certain that you’re the reason behind it.” I know I’m blushing uncontrollably.
“Thank you, Lizzie. He’s made a huge difference in my life in the short time I’ve known him. He means the world to me.”
“I know.” She gives me a gentle squeeze before we head back to the living room.
Xander and his dad are deep in discussion when we walk in, but as soon as they see me the conversation stops dead. There is definitely something going on. After a second, Xander puts on his best panty-melting smile and stands up to greet me; wrapping his arms around me, he nuzzles into my neck.
“Where have you been? I came in and you were gone. You been having fun with my mom?” I glance to Lizzie who smiles warmly back at me.
“Yes, your mom and I had a really nice chat, and I got some dirt on you and Carter into the bargain.”
“Oh, really? I’ll torture it out of you later. Anyway, we better get going, we’ve got a big day tomorrow and I want you to get a good sleep so you can enjoy London when we get there.”
His concern is sweet, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. It takes us thirty minutes to say our goodbyes; his mom and dad wishing us well for our trip, asking me to visit again soon. I really like them. On the drive home Xander is pretty quiet.
“Are you okay?” He immediately snaps out of his funk.
“Of course. My parents loved you and I get you to myself in London for the better part of a week. I’ve just got a work problem to sort out before we go. Nothing for you to worry about, sweets. I just want to make sure nothing interrupts our time away.” I can’t help but probe further.
“Is that what you were talking to your dad about when I came in earlier? You stopped talking as soon as you saw me. I thought maybe I had done something wrong.”
He looks pained as he answers. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I was talking to my dad about the problem and he was giving me advice, that’s all. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. I promise I’ll be more fun when we get to London and work is a distant memory.” I take him at his word and leave it at that.
He had a point about getting a good sleep. By the time we make it back to his apartment I’m exhausted. My night with Addi must be catching up with me. I quickly get ready for bed. Xander has to work for a while, but comes to lie next to me, telling me he’ll get it done in his office after I fall asleep.
“You can go. I’ll be fine.” He kisses the top of my head as he curls me around his body.
“I missed you last night. I want to stay with you until you fall asleep. No arguments.” I’m too tired to fight him, so I nestle against his chest and fall asleep in his warm embrace.
I’m startled awake at 4 a.m. by the sound of the front door. I reach over to wake Xander, terrified that there’s an intruder in the apartment. He isn’t here; his side of the bed hasn’t been slept in. I’m cowering beneath the covers praying that I’m just having a bad dream, when the door creaks open. A strangled scream escapes my throat.
“Fuck! Lily, it’s me. It’s just me.” I think my heart is about to explode. “I’m so sorry I frightened you. I was trying to be quiet.”
“Where were you? It’s 4 a.m.” He strips off his clothes and opens the door to the master bathroom.
“I had to go into the office. I’m sorry. It’s all fixed now. We can go away and enjoy a break from everything. I’m just going to take a quick shower and I’ll be right in.”
Five minutes later he’s under the covers, sliding in next to me, pulling me close to his hard body.
“I’m all yours for the next five days, no work, I promise. It’s not always like this. I don’t want you to think that life with me is going to be all phone calls and crazy hours.”
“It’s fine. Let’s just get some sleep - we have a long day ahead. I’m glad you got whatever it was done.”
“Me too...” I sense there is something more to that statement, but right now I just want to calm my frayed nerves with the warmth and comfort that being in Xander’s arms provides.
“Kiss me.” No other words are spoken between us.
He claims my body and soul with his kiss, before gently making love to me, our joint release intense, slow, and earth-shattering. We fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, all worries or reservations forgotten.
When the alarm goes off at 9 a.m. there is nothing I want to do less than get out of this nice cozy bed.
“Time to get up, sleepy girl. London awaits.” That gets my attention. I’m up like a shot, jumping up and down on the bed, much to his amusement.
“I can’t believe we’re going to London today. I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited.” He’s got an amused look on his face.
“You mean you’re more excited than you were on our first night together? I’m deeply wounded by that, Miss Tate.” The fake pouty face he’s sporting melts me.
“How can I make it up to you, Mr. Rhodes?” I stand astride of him on the bed.
“Oh, I’m sure I can think of something.” He pulls me down on top of him and shows me exactly how excited he can get me.
Xander reluctantly leaves me sated and happy in his bed to go and take a shower. The sight of him striding to the bathroom, gloriously naked - a sheen of sweat from our love making covering his toned body, is enough to get me worked up again.
“I’ll be in to join you shortly.”
He turns to give me an incredibly sexy grin. “I’ll be ready for you.” I know he will.
I lie for a few more moments, enjoying the quiet. That’s when my phone starts ringing. I grab it from the nightstand - it’s my mom. It’s a bit early for her to be calling me, but I totally forgot to call and tell her I’m going to London today so it’s good timing on her part.
“Hey, Mom. I was just about to call you. Xander is taking me to London today for five days as a graduation present. Can you believe it?” Radio silence. I wait for her to say something but it doesn’t come. “Mom. Are you still there? Is everything okay?” I’m starting to worry now.
“I’m here. I’m so sorry to have to tell you this when you’re going on vacation, but it’s probably a good thing that you’ll be out of town.” There's another pause as she tries to calm the obvious upset I can hear in her voice.
“Just tell me, Mom. Are the girls okay? What’s happened?”
“…Ron Peterson escaped from prison last night. The police just called to tell me. They have units out tracking him down as we speak, but they had to inform us.” I fall to my knees on the floor. The man who killed my dad, the man who assaulted me, is on the loose. “Lily, darling. Are you there?” I’m shaking so badly I drop the phone. I scramble around trying to find it through my tears.
“I’m here, Mom.” It’s all I can say.
“I know this is scary, darling, but they are going to catch him and put him back where he belongs. By the time you come back from London he’ll be behind bars.” I know she’s right, but I can’t control the terror ripping through every fiber of
my being. “He’s already taken so much from you. Don’t let him spoil your time with Xander in a city that you’ve been dreaming about your whole life. I just felt you had a right to know. I promise I’ll let you know as soon as he’s found. Promise me you’ll go and enjoy yourself. You deserve it more than anyone.” I deserve it? I start sobbing into the phone.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I should never have gone out that night. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Lily Tate, you listen to me. You did nothing wrong. None of this was your fault. It’s that monster’s fault and only his. Do you hear me?” I’ve wanted to hear those words for so many years. The instant relief that washes over me is gravity defying; a massive weight lifting off my shoulders.
“I hear you, Mom. Thank you. I really needed to hear that. I thought you blamed me for what happened to dad.” My mom is crying.
“My darling baby girl. I have never blamed you. I just never knew how to reach out. I’m sorry. I was lost when your father died. I should have been stronger for you.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart - so much. Now enough tears. We’ve both shed more than enough at the hands of Ron Peterson. You go to London and have a fabulous time, and when you come home, everything will be fine. Okay?”
“Okay. I’ll let you know when I land. I better go and get ready. Love you, Mom.”
When I hang up the phone I crawl up onto the bed and into the fetal position. I think about everything my mom said, and she’s right. I’m not going to let that monster ruin what should be a magical trip with Xander. I’m going to put it out of my mind and enjoy myself. I can’t tell him right now. I’ll do it when we get back, and by then there won’t be anything to worry about.
“Where did you get to? Did you fall asleep on me?” Xander crawls up the bed toward me. “What’s wrong, sweets? You’ve been crying.”
I settle on a half-truth. “I just called my mom to tell her about our trip and we had a really good talk. It got a bit emotional, but things are so much better between us.” He searches my face for answers I can’t give him.
“Well, that’s great. I’m glad things are good. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m sure. Take me to London. Take me away from here.” He lifts me into his lap and strokes my hair.
“I can do that. Let’s get you ready and then you’re all mine… in London.” True to his word, he helps me get organized, treating me like glass, as if I might break at any moment. I know he can sense there is something I’m not telling him, but he doesn’t push - he just looks after me, showering me with affection.
The ride to LaGuardia is quiet, but Xander’s hand in mine soothes the twister of emotions raging out of control inside me.
“You ready, sweetheart? Let me take you to London.” I look into the depths of his stunning blue eyes and I know I’m exactly where I need to be.
“I’m ready.”
I take his hand and leave my worries behind. Ron Peterson will not take this away for me. We move swiftly through the airport and into the departure lounge. London here we come.
Flying first-class was even better than I thought it would be. I had the most comfortable seat and a nice blanket to snooze with during the flight. We watched a few in-flight movies and spent a lot of time talking. Even the food was better than I expected. My only problem was the flight attendants – they were practically drooling over Xander. It was nice to get away from them when we disembarked.
I can’t believe I’m actually here. I’ve wanted to come to London since I was a little girl. My mom loves British literature and raised me reading all the classics. The history here is so fascinating; I’m speechless on the way to the hotel. I want to soak in everything around me. I’m like a kid on Christmas morning as we drive through the city.
The car pulls up outside a stunning looking building – Brown’s Hotel. Wow. Of course we didn’t take a taxi from Heathrow Airport; Xander had arranged a private transfer to the hotel, and now I can see why. I wouldn’t want to pull up in front of this place in a standard black cab. I’m desperate to take a ride in a hackney black taxi while we’re here, though.
The staff are beyond helpful and everything is taken care of without fuss. Before I know it, Xander is opening the door to a penthouse suite, ushering me into the definition of English decadence.
“Xander…” I am literally dumbstruck at how beautiful this place is.
“Pretty nice, huh?” His smug grin is beyond adorable.
“Nice… this is breathtaking! I can’t believe you did this.” His arms are around my waist from behind before I finish the sentence.
“Breathtaking? I definitely plan on giving you multiple breathtaking moments in here, Miss Tate.” The feather-light kisses he trails down my neck send shivers down my spine.
“You deserve the best of everything, Lily, and I want to give it to you. My Princess needs a palace for her slumber while she explores the many delights that London has to offer.”
He closes the door and leads me by the hand into a grand master bedroom with a huge four-poster bed covered in sumptuous cream and gold bedding. I instantly forget that I’m in London - my dream city. I lose myself to Xander as he shows me the many delights he has to offer.
It’s a few hours before we leave to explore some of the city. I bought a cute little pop-out map of London at the airport that tucks into the back pocket of my jeans. I’m hoping I won’t look like such a tourist – fat chance. I’ll be walking around with a stupid grin on my face the entire time!
The weather is warm; not like New York, but lovely all the same. We’ve got the whole afternoon ahead of us with the time difference. I’m ready for adventure.
First stop is Buckingham Palace. We spend the afternoon around the palace area, taking a long stroll through Hyde Park and watching the Queen’s swans. The atmosphere is electric. Obviously London is a bustling world city, but it’s strange just how different it feels compared to New York. Its energy is different, and I’m loving just milling around, soaking it in. We do a whistle-stop tour of the major sights before dinner – Big Ben, Westminster, Trafalgar Square.
I want to save The Globe for tomorrow when I’m rested and can spend the whole day steeped in Shakespearean history. Plus, I don’t think Xander will be able to drag me away from it once I’m there. Seriously!
He takes me to a great restaurant for dinner called Vertigo 42. It’s a champagne bar and I’m completely underdressed, but he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the room, and all of a sudden I don’t really care about what I’m wearing. Of course, every woman in the place notices Xander. Dressed in scruffy jeans, a black fitted T-shirt and leather jacket, he is still by far the most stunning man in the restaurant. The way he carries himself, with such an air of confidence, commanding the room as if he owns it, is sexy as hell.
Dinner is amazing and we have a great time chatting about everything we’ve seen today. I know Xander has been to London before, but he’s as excited as I am about being here. We laugh a little too loudly at some of the selfies we took today at each landmark. You know the kind I mean – the ones that you regret almost as soon as you’ve taken them. I seem to have an inability to just smile like a normal human being in photos; crazy face, pout, cheesy grin – I’m your girl. Xander looks mouth-watering in every picture, even when he’s pulling silly faces next to me. While we're playing around with the photos, I receive a text from my mom.
Mom: No news yet. Will keep you updated. Have a wonderful time. Love you. X
That brings me swiftly down from my high. I had put him out of my mind as soon as I set foot on British soil. I just pray that they find him before we get back. I’m hoping I won’t need to tell Xander what’s going on. I look up into the eyes of this wonderful man and try to quell the unease in the pit of my stomach, immersing myself in his carefree laugh as he sends some pictures to Carter.
After dinner we take in the city lights as we leisurely make our way back to the hotel. It’
s surreal to be here in London, nestled at the side of the most amazing man I’ve ever met. I keep wondering when I’m going to wake up and go back to my humdrum existence.
“What are you thinking about, sweets?” How does he always know? Do I have a beacon on my forehead?
“Just how amazing it is to be here with you. It’s like a dream I don’t want to wake up from.” He stops dead in the street, turning me to face him, lifting my chin to meet his intense gaze.
“I want to make all of your dreams a reality if you’ll let me.” If I were a cartoon, I would be melting into a puddle at his feet right now.
“Kiss me.”
I can’t pull my eyes from his as he moves in to meet my demand. Every touch of his lips is like manna in the desert; I’m starved for his kiss, every single brush of his lips a lifeline to sate my hunger. It’s beginning to get indecent when we remember where we are. All thoughts of Ron Peterson obliterated from my conscious.
“Hotel. Now.” His breathing is ragged, his voice filled with desire. We don’t say another word as he pulls me by the hand back to the hotel, like a caveman – taking what he wants without question. He has a brief lapse in control in the elevator on the ride to the top floor, which I welcome – every lick of his tongue on my neck, every nibble of my ear, a teaser of what’s to come.
As soon as the door to our suite opens, Xander becomes animalistic in his pursuit. He has me stripped bare in seconds, and splayed on the bed for his eyes to devour every inch of my naked flesh. He doesn’t wait long enough to undress himself before he’s over me, capturing my mouth with his. It’s a thrill to be naked for him, and it makes me wet with anticipation. He runs his warm callused hand down my chest and in between my legs, spreading them wider as he goes.
“You like that, baby? You are soaking wet. You feel naughty, don’t you? You like being naked for me?” I moan in reply. He lifts his fingers to his mouth, spreading the evidence of my arousal on his lips.