by Nisha Sharma
His arms encircled her and they held on to each other. Winnie felt her grip on her tears slipping. She sniffed as she buried her face in his neck and let out a shuddering breath. How could everything make sense one moment and be in complete chaos the next? She and Dev hadn’t reached their happy ending after all.
19
DOSTANA / FRIENDSHIP
★★★★★
I know this movie did great at the box offices overseas, but I don’t like it. No matter what, lying is always a terrible move. Sorry, hunky hero. Put those pecs away. I want honesty first. You can’t flex your way out of this one.
Winnie thought about the cultural significance of sharing food as she and Dev went out to grab lunch at an Indian restaurant. They stopped at the Dosa Hut in Princeton, where they ordered two large masala dosas. Winnie waited as the two-foot-long paper-thin crepe-like shell stuffed with spicy potato and onions was placed in front of her. She poked at the dosa shell until it cracked and then dug in, dipping occasionally into the sambar and coconut chutney.
After they had eaten in silence, Dev reached across the table and slipped his hand over Winnie’s. “This is an interesting place,” he said, looking around.
“The dosas are really good, though, right?”
He smiled, and Winnie saw the sadness in his face, even though he was trying to do the whole nonchalant look that had fooled her so well for all those years.
“Dev,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Are we going to talk about what happened today? Because I really don’t want to talk about it. We’ve been good for the last hour or so.”
“Dev…come on. I know we’re, well, new and everything, but you know you can talk to me.”
“I didn’t do it, Winnie. You know I didn’t do it.”
“Of course I know you didn’t take the money.” She gripped his fingers with a bruising force. “Not only do I know that you would never do something like that, but you were also with me the entire night. I told Reece. Did you go to your locker in the morning?”
“No, I didn’t need anything for first period. I was in homeroom when Reece called me. He asked me what I did after the festival and wouldn’t tell me what it was about. I told them exactly what happened and where I was the entire time. They asked me to open my locker. I knew there was nothing in there, but when it opened, the money was sitting there. It wasn’t even hidden or anything. How stupid do they think I am?”
“Raj backed up Jenny’s story. I backed up yours. It’s now a he-said-she-said thing.”
“Reece told me they were suspending me for two days and notifying my mother. He was totally condescending when he spoke to me. Like he was channeling Amitabh Bachchan in Mohabbatein. You know, powerful educator who treats the student as inferior.”
Winnie smiled. “You made a Bollywood movie reference.”
The corner of Dev’s lip quirked. “I did. I danced for you, too.”
“You did,” Winnie said. She leaned forward and kissed Dev’s cheek. She reached for the check, which had been discreetly left at the edge of their table.
“I got it,” Dev said, and took it from her.
She was about to argue, but her phone started buzzing. When she saw that it was Raj, she moved to decline the call.
“Go ahead. We’re almost done. I can meet you outside.”
Winnie sighed. “Okay, I’ll be like two seconds.” She got up and wove through the cluttered tables and chairs toward the exit.
“Kamina, kutta, sala,” she said sweetly when she answered.
“Listen, I may be a bastard right now, but I’m not going to help that asshole, especially with the information I just found out.”
Winnie peered through the glass at her boyfriend. Dev was handing a few bills over to the waitress. “You have five seconds before I hang up on you.”
“No matter what you think, I still want to help you. We were friends before we dated.”
“Raj, spit it out.”
“Dev’s name. It’s shortened. He’s registered with the school as Dev Khanna, but my mom’s friend’s cousin is good friends with his mom, and his real name is Ramdev. His name starts with an R. He knows about your prophecy and he lied to you. I don’t get why he didn’t tell you sooner.”
She looked at Dev through the restaurant window as he finished paying. No way.
“Raj, Dev is not a liar. You are.”
“Oh yeah? Ask him. He’s been going by Dev for everything. Class rosters, online presence, whatever. But his birth name is different. Don’t you think if he can lie about this, he can lie about stealing the film-club money?”
The dosa she’d enjoyed turned in her stomach, weighing down on her. “No, you’re lying. Dev wouldn’t do this to me.”
“Why would I lie to you about this? Listen, I know you hate me, but like I said, we were together for a long time. I’m the one who, despite everything, knows you better than anyone. And you know me.”
Winnie didn’t want to hear any more. She couldn’t hear any more. She ended the call when Dev stepped outside.
“Everything okay?” he said.
“Let me see your driver’s license.”
He hesitated. “You want to see my license?”
“Yes,” she said, and waited.
“Winnie.”
“Now, Dev.”
He pulled out his wallet and paused a moment before he passed her his license. She snatched it from him and searched for his name. There it was, in plain sight: RAMDEV KUMAR KHANNA.
“I was going to tell you. I tried to, but…”
She tossed the license against his chest. “Why didn’t you? Why did you lie to me about this one thing that I shared with you that you knew was such a big deal for me?”
“I didn’t exactly lie….”
“A lie by omission is still a lie, Dev! Why did you do it?”
“You know I’ve wanted to be with you since freshman year.”
“Is it because I used to be Raj’s girlfriend and now you want to get back at him?”
“No! Winnie, it’s important to me that you like me for who I am. Not like with Raj—”
“What about Raj?”
“Well, we all know you only dated him for your star chart, not because you really liked him. That’s pretty easy to see.”
Her mouth fell open. “Is that the type of person you think I am? Of course I liked him! What kind of human being does that make me if I stayed with the same guy for three years just because of an astrology prediction?”
“But you never loved him.”
Guilt cast a shadow over her heart. “That’s none of your business.”
“Of course it’s my business!” He took a step forward, and Winnie retreated. He held his hands up as if to show her that he wasn’t going to touch her.
“If you loved Raj, then I never would’ve had a chance now. You’d try to make things work with him. I wanted things to be different for you and me.”
“You’re not getting it, Dev. I thought I was making my own choices when you and I started seeing each other. I was creating the destiny that I wanted for myself. How do you think I feel now that I know I’ve been manipulated? You played me.”
He stepped closer, cupping her face in her hands, and she felt his calloused thumbs brushing away her hot, angry tears. “I wanted you before I heard about the prophecy.”
“But you lied,” she said. “Now I can’t be sure if I’m making this choice on my own or if…To think I almost gave up the co-chair spot because Reece doesn’t want you in the festival anymore.”
His hand dropped limp at his side. “What? You’re still festival chair? After what Reece has done to me, I can’t believe you’re still a part of that.”
“What, did you expect me to quit?”
“Yes, actually. Because your boyfriend got suspended.”
The word boyfriend was like a kick to the gut. When she didn’t say anything, Dev started toward his car. “Well, I guess I have answers, too. Don’t you se
e, Winnie? This is why I didn’t tell you my full name. I’m just a rebound to you.”
“You were never a rebound,” Winnie said, running the back of her hand over her nose. She couldn’t stop crying now. “I’m trying to be smart, Dev. Unlike you, who decided lying was the best way to get what you wanted. Do you think I can try to help you clear your name if I’m out of the film festival altogether? Or are you looking for me to make some grand movie gesture?”
“Just as long as you get what you want, right? Look, I don’t want to be another casualty in your attempt to prove destiny wrong. You obviously believe in fate, and that means that while you and I were together, you never believed in me. That’s the only reason I could think of to explain how you’d easily pick your future over your future with me.”
His words only made her cry harder. He got in his car before the next sob released from her chest.
“I’ve got to go,” he said, and roared out of the parking lot. She didn’t know how long she stood there. She snapped out of her haze when her phone started buzzing. She answered when she saw Bridget’s name.
“Winnie? Dev called and said that he left you at Dosa Hut and for me to go pick you up. Are you okay? What happened?”
Winnie collapsed on the sidewalk. She told Bridget the story through sniffles.
“Are you kidding me? What are you thinking?”
Winnie felt as if Bridget had slapped her across the face with her angry retort. “What? Why would you say that?”
“Winnie, is NYU that important to you that you’ll dick over someone who obviously is in love with you? Who you’re supposed to be in love with?”
“I’m not—he’s not—Dev doesn’t love me. I don’t love him.” I think.
“Obviously not if screwing him over was so easy. Winnie, you should’ve walked out on Reece.”
“I didn’t walk out on Reece because I need to be in charge to help clear his name. How can I do that if I’m not chair?”
“And as a side benefit, you still get what you want out of the whole situation. Dev is facing expulsion because your ex-boyfriend’s girl is an evil mastermind. Dev was right. You were never into him the way he was into you if it was that easy to choose college over your relationship. His name is a stupid excuse. If I’d known his name would make you crazy, I would’ve told you last week when I…Crap.”
“No. No, no, no, no. Bridget, please tell me you didn’t know.”
There was a long pause. “Henry told me, and I told Dev that he had to say something.”
“Henry, you, and Dev.” Winnie squeezed her eyes shut and rocked. “How many other people know? I’ve been trying so hard to come to terms with this on my own, and you guys all lied to me. You didn’t tell me about Raj dating Jenny, either, a few months ago.”
“Are you seriously holding that against me?”
“It’s twice in the same year. Raj at least told me the truth.”
“Then maybe you guys really do deserve each other.”
“For you to judge me when you’re the one who’s wrong is bullshit.” She didn’t care that the couple parking in front of the restaurant was staring at her.
“If that’s what helps you sleep at night,” Bridget said. “You have your stupid festival now, and when you realize how much of an idiot you’re being, call me.” She hung up, and the line went silent. Winnie looked down at the screen and sniffled. Through blurry eyes, she called her mother.
“Hall-oh?” her mother said cheerfully.
“Muma,” Winnie croaked.
“Winnie? You know you’re not supposed to call me in the middle of school. What happened? Is there an emergency?”
Winnie managed to ask her mother to pick her up at the Dosa Hut before hanging up. In the brisk chill of late fall, Winnie felt her heart break, and the real thing hurt so much more than she could’ve ever imagined.
20
AMAR AKBAR ANTHONY
★★★★★
Remember my blog entry about how characters get their ideas from friends or the gods? Well, there is an exception to that rule. If you don’t have any friends left and the gods are leaving you hanging, you can ALWAYS count on family.
Winnie was grounded for all eternity. Cutting classes was apparently worse than breaking into someone’s house and stealing a bunch of movies. She was pretty sure that the tongue lashing she received was bad enough to cause lesions. Not to mention the two days of detention.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t get out of going to school, and while she tried to get through her misery, Bridget and Dev were nowhere to be found. Raj, on the other hand, was suddenly available at every turn and continued to try to corner her for a private talk.
By the end of the week Winnie looked so wrung out and sallow that her grandmother convinced her parents to let her stay home, in fear of her skin color changing. She spent the day in bed matching up actors with characters in her current life situation. By two a.m. she was so drunk on Starbucks bottled mochas and sleep deprivation that she knew she had to get answers on how to fix things.
Winnie put on Dev’s hoodie, booted up her computer, and sat cross-legged on her bed while she made the video call.
Pandit Ohmi answered after two rings. He sat behind the same desk, with the same powdered mark on his forehead, wearing a similar polo shirt to the one he’d worn when she first spoke with him.
“Vaneeta Mehta. I was wondering when I’d hear from you again.”
“Panditji, I have a question for you. How does it feel? To always be right?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Pretty terrible sometimes, unfortunately. What was I right about, Ms. Mehta? Ah, did you find your love?”
“Like you don’t know.”
“I don’t.”
She winced. “Sorry. That was rude.”
He chuckled, and she could see his belly fat jiggle. “Sometimes frustration is good for the blood. Anger is just another emotion if maintained in healthy amounts. What are you so angry about, beta?”
“Dev. And Raj. I was mad about Raj because even though he fit the prophecy, I knew he wasn’t the one. Now I’m mad about Dev, because after thinking I chose him on my own, I apparently had no choice at all. So, as you can see, my life sucks.”
Pandit Ohmi laughed again. “Beta, why don’t you start from the beginning?”
She told him about when Dev interrupted her during the first film-club meeting and about everything up through her disastrous call with Bridget. By the end of it, she was exhausted, but felt a little bit better.
Pandit Ohmi put down the holy beads he had wrapped around one fist. “Winnie, do you know why so many people consult astrologers?”
“False hope?”
“Hope is never false, beta. Astrology gives hope like gods give hope. Although your and your parents’ star alignments speak clearly, that doesn’t mean you don’t have free will. You can do whatever you like, and your prediction may change based on your decisions. But if you approach it the other way around, if you make decisions to avoid your star chart, or to chase after it, then you’re not following your heart, and free will has been taken away by your misuse of reason.”
“I did follow my heart. But Bridget and Henry and Dev all lied to me, so now I don’t know if I made the decision for me or if destiny intervened.”
“So what if you chose the same path the stars have suggested for you? Trust your instincts, beta.”
“My instincts,” she mused. “Dev said that to me once before.”
“He’s a smart boy,” Pandit Ohmi replied. “Have there been any other indications that Dev is the right soul mate for you? That you felt he was your soul mate without knowing he fit your prophecy?”
Winnie immediately thought about the bracelet Dev’s mother had touched in the dress shop on Oak Tree Road. She also remembered Dev’s unwavering support and love for movies.
“I wish things were more…clear.”
“Ahh,” he said, letting out another belly laugh. “So you can think of other moments
with Dev that show you your fate. My girl, you remind me so much of your mother.”
“What? My mother? Everyone tells me I’m exactly like Dad.”
“No,” he said. “Definitely your mother. Strong-willed. When we first spoke, it was because she wanted to ask me if I had manipulated your father into thinking that she was going to have a child. She told me that I wasn’t a doctor and I needed to stop meddling.”
“No. Seriously?”
He nodded and leaned closer to the screen. “She also was using reason to circumvent hope, but like you, she had to learn that if you follow your heart, things will happen the way they were always meant to. Look at you now!” He motioned to her. “The miracle baby.”
“Miracle baby,” she whispered. “That’s what Mom calls me.” She rubbed the heel of her hand against her aching heart. “I screwed it up, didn’t I? I should’ve told Mr. Reece that I couldn’t be festival chair because it’s wrong to still benefit from the situation. I need to support Dev one hundred percent, and I have to figure out a way to help clear his name without being in charge of the festival.”
Pandit Ohmi leaned back in his chair, and the hinges screeched in protest. He linked his fingers and rested them against his gut. “You can still make things right. There is always a way to change the future.”
“Yeah—quit. There goes my NYU application.”
“How does that feel?”
Winnie paused. “You know? Not as terrible as I thought it would. I’ve been stressing about it for the whole school year up until now, but choosing Dev over the festival feels…right. Thank God I haven’t submitted my application yet.”
“Does your future rely so heavily on running this one festival?”
“It’s a guarantee that I’ll get in.”
“Beta, nothing is a guarantee. Trust me. I’m an astrologer.”