There is applause, whistling, and foot stomping. Lights dim, and a full red-robed chorus walks onto the stage, singing and clapping their hands to an old-time Earth spiritual, “Rocka My Soul in the Bosom of Abraham.” Then, as though levitating above the stage in his long white robe, bathed in glowing orange light, on the arms of two young women—one with long green hair called Celery and one with cropped red hair called Tomato—is Pierre Ambrosias.
His image is beamed to a giant screen. I blink several times because I think his image looks like the ceiling at Sistine’s Salon in downtown New Chicago where according to the small print next to the image inserted by the CEO of Manicurists Inc. is God holding out his hand to Adam and gives Adam his first manicure.
Rachael points to a light-blue sofa. Pierre and the two young women sit.
“How did you get started, Pierre?” she asks, leaning in.
“I used to work for Whole Foods Luna on Earth’s moon. I had also studied Congress Drugs’ Freedom Plan. But I had my own ideas and wanted to find a food alternative to the alternatives. And when my wife, Melon, so ripe that she was, died right after eating a cocoanut avocado sundae, I vowed never to rest until I found that way.”
His eyes mist. Celery hands him a handkerchief; Tomato wipes his brow. The chorus chants, “Melon, Melon, Half Foods for Melon.”
I drop the remote, stand up, and scream. “Pierre Ambrosias is Drew! Son of a…” I realize that I may be the only one in the universe able to recognize him from small inflections in his altered voice.
Drew/Pierre turns directly to the camera.
“I want to introduce my daughters, Lettuce and Tomato. Stand up girls and take a bow.” The audience applauds. “See how beautiful and lovely they are, having been raised entirely on Half Foods. My daughters also sing and have their own group, called the Mixed Vegetables. I once knew Molly Marbles Summers, the mother of the Lunar Tunes, and if she is listening, I want her to know my daughters want to be just like their idols, Becky and Lois.”
Rachael X-Ray asks her last question: “And what is your best-selling product?
“Half Foods’ Chocolate Chocolate Moons. I eat some at the beginning and end of every day because they have real taste but no grit.”
I smile, get up and turn off the holo, put my arms out in front of me, stretch, and release. I’m happy that Drew finally found his true calling, albeit a bit theatrical.
We never meet again.
As for me, I have no intention of growing old too fast and smart too late. I have plans.
Stay tuned.
About the Author
JACKIE KINGON IS a teacher, writer and artist. She holds a Master’s degree from Columbia University Teachers College in New York City; a Bachelor of Arts from Lesley University in Cambridge, Massachusetts; and a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree from the School of Visual Arts in New York City where she won the outstanding student award.
She has published two articles in The New York Times on autism and learning disabilities and one feature piece about her experiences teaching in an inner city school in the south Bronx.
Her paintings have been exhibited in galleries in Washington DC and New York City including the Dactyl Foundation, Washington Project of the Arts, and the United States Embassy to the European Union in Brussels, Belgium. Three works are part of the Estee Lauder collection. She has been a member of the board of the Empire State Plaza Art Commission in Albany, NY and the board of the Friends of Vassar College art museum.
Her short stories have been published in Flying Island Press-Pieces of Eight, The Fringe Magazine and Static Movement Magazine. Kingon’s story for the blind, entitled “A Rose by Any Other Name,” was recorded by Voice Needs in League, TX.
Jackie Kingon lives with her husband in Bronxville, NY. Chocolate Chocolate Moons is her first novel.
Check out her web site at: www.jackiekingon.com
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