He thought that if he were only dealing with the PTSD, he could handle that. You could see a shrink for that. There was a list of symptoms for PTSD. They could diagnose you. They could treat you.
How do you treat someone who simply has a blackness at the core of their soul because they've seen too much – and, not only seen, but done too much - horrific shit? There's no name for that. It's not a disease. You're just broken.
“I didn’t mean what were your plans today, dumb ass. I meant long term,” Cameron clarified.
“After the first of the year Fisher wants me to come in and talk to him.” A shooting pain stabbed Seth’s shoulder. He rolled it to try to get some relief. He still had some discomfort from the entry site but it was better than it had been.
Seth never thought in a million years that he would be in this position - at loose ends, no job. He had taken for granted the fact that he would always be a Marine. Apparently that wasn't in the cards. After his last injury had caused nerve damage, he had been offered the choice of medical discharge or reassignment. Seth had been a member of the elite Marine Corp Force Reconnaissance, or Force Recon. It was more than a job, it was who he was. To him, reassignment was not an option. Seth knew that he would never be able to handle having a desk job.
Carl Fisher, Harper's Crossing's Police Chief, was a family friend who had known Seth all of his life. When Carl had heard that Seth was coming home, he had immediately contacted him about joining the force. Hell, Seth didn’t know if becoming one of the boys in blue was something he wanted to do, but he figured there was no harm in hearing Fisher out.
“Well, if you’re anything like you used to be, I know you'll be bored as hell if you’re just hanging out until then.” Cam smiled and clapped his hands together, “So I have a proposal for you.”
“No I won’t sleep with you, even for a million dollars,” Seth said flatly.
Cam’s eyes widened, “Dude, Demi Moore is so hot in that movie! Remember when we bought tickets for the Sandlot but snuck into Indecent Proposal instead?”
“I remember you almost got us caught and kicked out because you kept talking to the screen.”
“Ah, those were good times.” Cam tilted his head, smiling at the memory. “But I’m not offering you a million dollars for one night. Don’t get me wrong, I would if I had it. You’re way hotter than Demi,” Cam joked. “Look, seriously, I could really use some help around here. We’re slammed, and hell, I know that installing security systems is way below your pay grade...but I could really use an extra hand. One that I trust.”
Seth was proud of his friend. Since Cam had taken over Titan Security from his father, he had put his degree in marketing to good use and had grown the business by over four hundred percent in five years. Seth thought that, even though installing security systems did not sound like the most exciting job in the world, it would only be for a couple of months. Besides, he could never really say no to Cam.
He smirked to himself. Since that was the case, maybe it was a good thing Cam had decided to forgo the (extremely) indecent proposition.
“Alright,” Seth agreed.
Cam raised his eyebrow, “That’s it. You don’t want to know the hours, the pay?”
Seth shrugged and smiled a barely-perceptible grin, “Since we already established that the million bucks is off the table, I'm bound to walk away disappointed,” he joked dryly, and then continued, “I’m sure we can work something out.”
“Sweet! Cam and Seth together again. It’s going to be just like old times,” Cameron said excitedly.
Seth shook his head, grinning at his friend’s enthusiasm. Just like old times. He seriously hoped not.
Chapter Two
Amber sat in Jason and Katie’s front room and yawned for about the fifth time in so many minutes. She couldn’t help it. It had been a long day, starting with her dreaming about him, then the phone call from her mom, and finally being late for work. She felt like her entire day had been spent playing catch-up. She was spent.
If this was any normal, run-of-the-mill get-together, she would probably bow out early to go catch some zzz’s. In fact, she probably would have just made her excuses rather than showing up in the first place. Tonight was not, however, just your average shindig. Tonight, her curiosity trumped her exhaustion. The mysterious Seth Sloan was coming home.
She had known the Sloan family for almost a decade now. She had briefly dated Jason back in the day. Nothing serious, they had had zero chemistry. This non-event had happened several years before he was reunited with the girl he had been in love with for his entire life (and who was now his wife, not to mention, was also now one of Amber's best friends), Katie. She and Jason had remained friends after their failed dates and she had gotten to know his brothers Bobby, then Alex, and most recently Riley, pretty well.
Amber had heard a few stories of the legendary Seth Sloan but she had yet to see a picture of him. From all accounts, he didn’t say much, and had been pretty rebellious as a teen. As an adult, she knew that he was part of a specialized, cream of the crop unit in the Marines. Other than that, she hadn’t heard a lot about him. Heck, none of his family had even seen him in the last six years!
She felt another yawn creep up on her. Man, she thought, maybe she should just go ahead and head home, Seth Sloan reveal or no.
“Oooh! You look tired! Does this mean that you and Brad hit it off last night?”
Amber looked up to see Katie’s Aunt Wendy staring down at her hopefully. Amber loved Wendy, as much for her insanely wild fashion sense as for her big heart.
“No, we did not,” Amber said wryly. “I think I’m officially done being set up. I think we can consider Brad the straw that broke the blind-date camel's back.” Amber did not honestly think she could sit through another awful date, set up by one of her friends or customers who swore that she would just loooooove this one. She grimaced.
“Why? What happened?” Wendy sat down beside her.
“Nothing horrible. Brad’s fine if you like emotionally unavailable mama’s boys.”
“Oh, no! He seemed so nice when I took that Karate lesson from him,” Wendy said, disappointed.
“He is nice,Wendy,” Amber tried to explain, “he’s just not…”
“He’s just not Mystery Man,” Haley said, sitting down to join them.
“Who’s Mystery Man?” Wendy’s expression brightened at this new development.
“No one,” Amber stated firmly, glaring at Haley. She was not about to go into her one night stand with Katie’s Aunt. That was not going to happen.
Haley clasped her hands in front of her chest dramatically and swooned, “He is the man that Amber judges every other man against, and none of them even come close to stacking up. Which is why none of her dates even have a chance.” Haley lifted her glass of punch and took a drink. Amber wondered what was in the punch, and thought that it just might not be Haley's first glass of the evening.
“Thanks, Hales,” Amber said dryly. She couldn’t believe her friend-slash-employee was blowing up the spot on her like this.
“It’s true, Amber!” Haley insisted, “I’m only saying this because I want what’s best for you and you need to face the fact that Mystery Man is gone. I met Brad. He seemed nice. You should give him another shot.”
“Who is Mystery Man?” Wendy asked again, a little louder this time.
“Oh, are we talking about Mystery Man? I love that story! It’s so romantic!” Katie sat down beside Haley on the couch.
“We're not, actually,” Amber snapped, her voice sounding harsher than she had intended.
They all looked a little shocked by her tone. Amber realized she was probably just being cranky. If they wanted to talk about the man that still haunted her dreams she figured she shouldn’t be a spoilsport. She knew Katie was probably dying to relay the events of the fateful night, and since she had never told anyone the more personal details, she thought it would be harmless.
“Oh, alright, go ahead,” she c
onceded, nodding at Katie.
Katie's eyes danced with excitement. "Okay, stop me if I get anything wrong,” Katie started.
“Says the lawyer,” Amber intoned dryly.
Katie swatted her, laughing, “Oh, please! I could have the facts of the case down pat, but that would involve me deposing you. Is that what you want?”
Amber shook her head, smiling, “Too true. Please continue.”
Katie turned to her aunt and lowered her voice (which Amber appreciated) to relay the story, “Well! Amber was in DC to receive a purple heart for Aaron.”
Amber felt Wendy pat her leg, giving her silent support.
“So she’d obviously had a long day,” Katie continued. “She went down to the bar and this guy sits down next to her. Before Amber even looks at him, he has her heart racing. He orders a drink and has this insanely sexy voice and Amber - our Amber - is too shy to even look at him! Then this other guy sits on down and starts being a jerk. Amber gets up to leave and the jerk grabs her.”
“I hope you punched his lights out,” Wendy interjected.
Amber shook her head. “No, but I kneed him in the balls.”
“That’s my girl!” Wendy said proudly.
“Yes, but he didn’t let go of her and he called her a b-i-t-c-h,” Katie spelled out. “The next thing Amber knows, sexy-voice-guy has the jerk down on his knees and he makes the guy apologize to Amber.”
“Good man,” Wendy nodded in approval.
“Right?! Seriously!” Katie’s arms flew up. “Then Amber starts crying…”
“I teared up slightly,” Amber clarified.
“Whatever,” Katie waved her hand in dismissal, “She gets upset, and sexy-voice-guy gets her out of there, saving her not once but twice.” Katie held up two fingers for emphasis.
“Then what?” Wendy asked breathlessly.
Katie’s eyes flew to Amber’s. Yeah, Amber cringed, this is why she didn’t want to get into it.
“Well, they spent some time together,” Katie said diplomatically.
“Oooo La La,” Wendy chuckled, waggling her eyebrows, letting an embarrassed Amber know that Katie's attempt at diplomacy had been in vain. “So did you see him again? To spend a little more time together?”
Amber dropped her face into her hands, but she heard Katie continue, “Nope. Amber left without ever even finding out his name.”
“How sad. He seemed like one of the good ones,” Wendy sighed.
You don’t know the half of it, Amber thought.
“Well, he’s no Jason,” Katie said, beaming with love for her husband.
“Or Riley!” Chelle, who was Riley Sloan’s very pregnant wife, interjected as she sat on Haley's other side on the couch.
“You don’t even know what we’re talking about,” Haley pointed out.
“I know, but it doesn’t matter. There is only one Riley,” Chelle said dreamily, looking like one of those cartoon princesses that had birds and hearts floating around their angelic countenances.
She also looked like she was about to give birth any second.
“How much longer do you have?” Amber asked, relieved to move on to a new topic.
“Nine days.” Chelle’s shoulders slumped, “I don’t know if I can wait that long. I just want her out. Partly because I am so tired of being this huge, but mainly because I just want to meet her.”
“Have you guys decided on a name?” Haley asked.
“Well, Riley wanted to name her Rachelle after me, but I finally convinced him that’s crazy. Girls don’t get named after their moms like boys do after their dads. So, after much debate, we decided on Mya.” Chelle rubbed her belly, “Our little Mya papaya.”
“That’s cute,” Haley smiled.
“I love it!” Katie said as she hugged her friend.
“When are you and Jason gonna get one of these?” Chelle asked, patting her stomach.
“We are just enjoying each other right now. There will be plenty of time for babies later,” Katie explained, her tone indicating that Chelle was not the first person to bring up the ‘baby’ question.
“I know, but I want our babies to be best friends,” Chelle grinned.
“They’ll be cousins, that’s close enough,” Katie countered firmly.
“Yeah, I guess,” Chelle sighed, unconvinced.
Amber heard a motorcycle rumble up the driveway. Katie stood, looking out the picture window that was behind Amber’s head, her face lighting up with excitement.
“He’s here!” Katie yelled to all of the Sloan friends and family who had gathered in the kitchen. They all filed out as Katie headed over to open the door to the garage, which was where all the brothers were playing pool.
Amber stood and turned, trying to catch a glimpse of the enigmatic Seth as he made his way up the front walkway, but all she saw was a motorcycle parked next to Jason’s black truck. Hmm, she thought to herself, he must have gone in through the garage.
She waited and, for some reason, she was a little nervous. That's weird, she thought, must be all the built-up anticipation of finally meeting this near-mythical person. Whatever it was, though, it was causing her heart to beat faster and her palms to sweat.
Low, mumbling voices came through the door before Katie flung it open...and then she heard it. The voice. The voice that had haunted her dreams. The voice of her Mystery Man.
And it was headed her way.
Oh. No. Oh, God. She had to get out of here. She couldn’t see him like this, in front of all these people. She looked down at what she was wearing, taking a quick inventory. Long-sleeved green silk blouse, dark jeans, brown boots. Nope, that wouldn’t work.
She felt like she was going to pass out. She looked around at her escape options. She could maybe make it to the front door, but her purse was on the kitchen table. Her eyes darted back and forth from the door that led to her freedom to the kitchen, which held (literally) the keys to her freedom.
She needed a plan.
Hold on. Maybe it wasn’t him! Maybe this was just a figment of her exhausted imagination. That had to be it. After the day she had had, her overtired brain was playing tricks on her. What in the name of God were the odds that Seth Sloan was actually her Mystery Man? One in a million? One in a billion? One in a trillion? I mean...it was impossible.
Right?
“It’s good to see you, too,” the voice rumbled, sounding like it was just outside the door leading into the house.
She was instantly covered in goose bumps and her sex began throbbing. Okay, so her body definitely thought it was him...but that could still just be her ears and her mind playing mean-horrible-awful tricks on her.
Then she saw him. He stepped into the house as he turned to hug Katie.
Good news? Her ears, body, and mind had not decided to betray her after all. Her sanity was (arguably) intact.
Bad news? She was going to throw up.
She froze. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his strong profile. She felt her cheeks flush at the sight of his mouth. Oh boy, that mouth.
Thankfully everyone was crowding around him and no one was paying any attention to her. He hadn’t even looked her way.
Then a thought occurred to her. Yes, she remembered the night they spent together because it had been the best night of her life. However, that didn’t mean that he had ever given it a second thought. There was a very good chance he didn’t remember her at all.
Mystery Man (aka Seth, she now knew) turned towards her to bend down and give Chelle a hug. Seeing his face again, full on, made her heart feel like it was going to explode in her chest. His eyes briefly met hers and she felt a jolt of awareness shoot through her. He, on the other hand, seemed completely unaffected. His eyes moved away as quickly as they landed on her.
She started to breathe again. Okay, crisis averted. She swallowed hard. That was close, she thought.
Then she began to feel an annoying, niggling disappointment at the fact that he did
n’t recognize her begin to build in the back of her mind and heart, but she quickly shut that down. It was better this way. It was better all around.
Amber decided that she would quietly go grab her purse and head out the back door, around the house, to the front, and finally to her car. As she started towards the kitchen she felt her head turning, as if of its own accord. She just had to take one more look at him.
Oops, bad idea. His crystal blue eyes were locked onto hers, his jaw held tight, and - if she wasn’t mistaken - that was definitely recognition written all over his handsome face.
Time to go.
She double timed it in through the swinging kitchen door and was just grabbing her purse when she heard her name. Her ears were ringing so loudly that she wasn’t sure who it was that had called her.
Turning, she saw Katie standing in the doorway with a worried look on her face. “Are you okay?”
Amber nodded and turned to get out of there quickly. Before she blinked, however, Katie was standing in front of her, blocking her path.
“Do you guys know each other?” Katie asked, slowly and deliberately, as if she were trying to work out a puzzle in her head.
Freakin’ Katie and her damn detective skills. Why did she have to pick now to be Sherlock?!
Amber shook her head, a wordless denial. She didn’t trust herself to speak.
Katie’s eyes narrowed, “Because...I only noticed you leaving because Seth got the most intense look on his face. When I checked to see what he was looking at, I saw you rushing in here. Then I come in here and you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Amber shrugged, pretending to have no idea what she was talking about. “Weird. Gotta go!” she chirped, beginning to move around Katie and toward freedom.
Katie’s eyes widened as she whispered, “Amber, he’s not…”
Seriously, how did she do that?!
My Everything - Seth & Amber Page 2