When he stepped inside the dining room and saw the spread that Katie had laid out, he honestly couldn’t believe it. There was everything you could possibly imagine having for a Thanksgiving meal. The long, buffet-style table against the far wall was overflowing with turkey, ham, rolls, corn, creamed peas, stuffing, mashed potatoes and on and on.
This was the first holiday that he would be spending with his family in fifteen years. Last time he had spent Thanksgiving with his family it had just been his dad, brothers, cousins, and Aunt Sandy and Uncle Pete. He had thought it was a crowded group then. Now, with his brothers all starting families of their own, the group had grown exponentially larger.
He wasn’t a huge fan of crowds. The Marine shrink he had seen a total of one time had told him that reaction was to be expected with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), which Seth had been diagnosed with after his last tour of duty. It was during that same deployment that he had been shot, causing the nerve damage that ended his career.
The noise level in a crowd this size was significant. Everyone was moving around, getting in line to dish up their food, calling their seats at the large dining room table. Between the activity and the volume, he was starting to feel uncomfortable. Claustrophobic.
Seth’s heart began beating fast. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, it started to feel like the walls were closing in on him. His breathing was becoming labored. Seth needed a minute to catch his breath. He decided he would slip into the kitchen and wash up.
As he pushed through the wooden swinging door, his already rapidly beating heart picked up speed, drastically. But not because of panic. His racing heart now had nothing to do with his PTSD and everything to do with the person he saw in front of him.
Amber stood stock still, holding what looked like a large bowl of sweet potatoes in her hands. She had stopped dead in her tracks at his arrival. She looked frozen in place.
He hadn’t known she would be coming today. For the last two days he had fought the urge to drive by her shop and check on her. He had wanted to…badly. But he hadn’t. Since he had decided to stay away from her when had seen her in the hospital after baby Mya was born, he had been following through with that decision, no matter the emotional cost.
But now, here she was. Standing in front of him. At Thanksgiving dinner.
Her dark, shiny hair fell over her shoulder. Her skin was flush, probably from the heat in the kitchen. She stared up at him and her intoxicating hazel eyes looked even larger than normal. Her plump, full lips glistened with what Seth assumed was some sort of gloss. The sexy shine made Seth want to suck it off of her lips.
And all of that was just from the neck up. Below that, her dress was…incredible. The shade might look plain on someone else but on Amber it perfectly complimented her dusky, smooth skin-tone and shining dark locks. The low-cut V in the front showed off more than an eyeful of cleavage.
As his eyes traveled along the seam to point where the fabric connected in the center of her full chest, a memory flashed in his mind. He saw a clear mental image of himself running his tongue slowly between her breasts. Even now, eight years after the fact he could almost feel the sides of her soft mounds brushing across his cheek as he had licked across the bottom crease of her breast and up the center of her chest, all the way to the base of her neck. His mouth watered at the sensual memory.
“I like your dress.” Need radiated tightly through his body as awareness spread through him.
Amber’s eyes widened at his statement. Her mouth twitched then one side turned up in a half grin.
She took a deep breath and with a shaky voice she said, “No 'Hi, how are you?' Just straight to the dress, huh?”
He grinned. She was kind of a smart ass. He liked that. A lot.
He lowered his head slightly. “Hi.”
Her eyes twinkled as she breathed, “Hi.”
“How are you?” He asked forcibly maintaining a tight hold on his desire, keeping it reined in.
“Good,” she replied, her breathing coming in shorter pants.
He brushed a strand of hair that had fallen in her eye off of her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. His fingers lingered for just a moment, lightly touching the soft skin right below her ear. He remembered how her body had responded when he had kissed her there. He wanted to lower his mouth and press his lips to that sweet spot.
He saw her chest rising and falling rapidly, drawing his attention back down.
“I still like your dress.” He dropped his hand back down to his side before he did something stupid. Like back her up against the wall and kiss her. Hard.
His pants were growing tighter by the second. He had come in here to catch his breath, but what he saw before him had literally taken what breath he had left away.
He felt movement behind him and he realized it was the door swinging open. He quickly moved out of the way and saw his sister-in-law Katie’s profile as she stepped in and reached for the ceramic bowl of potatoes in Amber’s shaking hands.
“Hey beautiful, just coming to get…” Katie’s head turned as she noticed Seth standing to the side. Her eyes darted several times between Seth and Amber, “…the sweet potatoes.” Katie held the white bowl up as she backed out of the kitchen, a knowing smile spreading across her face.
When the door swung shut Amber’s sultry eyes met his again and the need and desire that had been flowing through him began raging like a fiery inferno. Amber had a power over him that no one else had ever possessed. Just her simple presence in a room created an urgency inside of his body that only she had ever stirred.
Seth had never been a big fan of one night stands, and not because of any moral objection. Mainly it was for the simple reason that he needed complete control in the bedroom, so whoever he was with had to feel utterly safe with him. Normally, that kind of trust couldn't be established in the span of a few hours.
With Amber, however, it had, in fact, an innate, organic trust had formed in a span of less than one hour. Although she had been the one to initiate their first kiss, he had almost immediately taken over and she had willingly let him take the lead. Her body had instantly responded to his as if they had been lovers for years. Seth didn’t believe in soul mates, but if he did, he would definitely maintain that he had met his that night eight years ago.
Now, he noticed Amber rolling the delicate bracelet she wore on her left wrist.
He remembered the way it had felt scraping lightly against his skin as her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and back. He remembered feeling it beneath his lips as he had kissed her wrist before holding them tightly above her head.
“I remember that bracelet,” he heard himself say.
“Seth...I…um…” Amber swallowed hard and licked her lips.
“What?” He needed to hear what she had to say. He had no idea what it was going to be, but he needed to hear it.
“I just…I need to…” Her stomach growled loudly and her hands flew to her cover her stomach. Her eyes flew up to his in shock.
“Eat?” He smiled finishing her sentence.
“Apparently.” She laughed as she shook her head.
Damn, even her laugh was sexy. Which was not helping the hard-on he was sporting.
He pushed open the door, “I’ll meet you out there.” He needed a moment.
“Okay.” She smiled and as she walked past him out the door her hand brushed his and the feather light touch shot like lightening straight to his groin.
The door swung shut and he leaned back against the counter. Avoidance no longer seemed like it was going to be a viable option in dealing with Amber. Shit, he was going to have to come up with a new plan.
Chapter Ten
Amber could not stop yawning as she worked on marking all of the tags for the big sale tomorrow. She knew that it had been scientifically proven that the tryptophan in the turkey had no bearing on your alertness. But she also knew that it made her sleepy every time she ate it. So her logical conclu
sion had been; it was the turkey.
She looked up at the round clock hanging on the wall as she stretched her hands over her head. It read ten-fifteen pm. She still had quite a bit of work to do, but she was happy that she had decided to take the extra fifteen minutes to stop by her house to change before coming down to the store. She was a heck of a lot more cozy and warm in her sweats and Ugg boots than she had been in her wrap dress and high heeled boots.
But, good lord, her earlier attire had certainly caused the desired reaction in one Mr. Seth Sloan. She let a small, sly smile creep onto her face. Amber thought that caramel colored wrap dress may just be her new favorite. Seth’s initial response to seeing her could not have been more perfect, and then all through dinner she kept catching him staring at her from across the large dinner table.
At first, she had been disappointed that there weren't two seats beside each other. After their interaction in the kitchen, she had been hoping dinnertime would be filled with ‘accidental’ brushes and maybe even inside jokes between the two of them. Flirty banter she could definitely do. She had planned on having some serious bonding time.
As it turned out, by the time she had made it to the table, the only two available seats were directly opposite one another. It had worked out just fine, though, because the distance had almost felt – to her at least – like foreplay.
His stare was one of the sexiest things Amber had ever been on the receiving end of. When he looked at her, it felt as though she was all he could see. Several times, other people would be talking to him and, although they continued to speak, his eyes never wavered from hers. He definitely did not suffer from the need to uphold social graces.
He was raw. He was real. He was hot.
She had made sure to say goodbye specifically to him when she left. If she wasn’t mistaken a look of disappointment had flashed across his face when she had told him she was taking off. Okay, that was probably just wishful thinking on her part…but still.
Her phone rang. She pulled it out of her sweats pocket.
Her mom. She took a deep breath and pressed the answer icon.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.” She figured might as well remind her mother of the day in case she was so trashed she had forgotten.
“Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetie.” Surprisingly, her mom did not sound drunk or high. She sounded…sad.
“Where are you?” Amber felt a need to see her mom, well up inside of her.
“Nowhere,” her mom’s voice sounded quiet, reserved.
Okay, that was not an answer.
“Mom, are you okay?” Amber’s heart started beating rapidly.
Her mom sounded subdued, distant. Amber did not like this. The only other time she had heard her mom sound like this was a month after they had lost Aaron, and that had ended with her mom landing in the ER and then the psych ward after a suicide attempt.
“I’m fine, Sweetie. I just miss you. And Aaron.”
Tears filled Amber’s eyes. “I miss you too, mom. And I miss Aaron so much.”
“Do you remember when you were probably around twelve and we were in...oh, Iowa I think, and we burned the turkey…”
“And ended up going to the grocery store and getting TV dinners,” Amber interrupted, laughing at the memory. “That was the best Thanksgiving ever.”
“It was, right?!” her mom agreed, her tone sounding a little more upbeat. “I remember you standing in the frozen food aisle in Fareway’s, hands on your hips, steaming mad at Aaron because he didn’t want to get the turkey TV dinner. He wanted…”
“Salisbury steak!” they both said loudly in unison.
Her mom continued chuckling, “I have to admit that I really wanted the fried chicken meal, but I was scared I would scar you for life if I didn’t pick the turkey.”
“You’re right, it probably would have traumatized me,” Amber laughed in agreement. “It was Thanksgiving and I thought we should be eating turkey.”
There was a moment of silence on the line and Amber continued, “Then we stayed up playing Monopoly and Clue and we all fell asleep on the couch watching Fletch.”
“It was his favorite movie,” her mom’s voice cracked.
“It was.” Amber felt tears falling down her cheeks remembering her brother’s laugh as he watched Chevy Chase in all of those ridiculous costumes and situations.
“I still watch it sometimes,” her mother sounded so…broken, and alone.
Amber could barely get the words out, “So do I.”
She heard her mom take a deep breath. “Sweetie, I am so sorry I haven’t been there for you.”
She loved her mom so much. She knew that what she was dealing with was an illness. She didn’t want her to feel bad or guilty because of it.
“It’s fine, mom,” Amber said trying to hold back the tears.
“It’s not fine. And I know that an apology does not make everything better. But I just want you to know that I love you so much, Sweetie. You are my princess.” Her mom sounded stronger than Amber had heard her in a long time.
“I love you too, Mom.” Amber couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks.
Then she heard a loud slam on the other end of the line. “Who is that, Susan? Who are you talking to?” A gruff voice yelled in the background.
The line went dead.
--- ~ ---
Seth’s jaw ticked and he flexed his hands as he stood behind Amber. His body was wound tight, but not with need. He was on full alert. As soon as he had driven into the back lot to install security cameras he had noticed two things.
One: Amber’s white Prius was parked beside the back entrance of Bella. Two: The back door to the building was slightly ajar.
Visions of her lying unconscious - or worse - had immediately popped into his head.
He had come in through the back entrance and made his way through the beaded curtain without her ever being aware of his presence. Logically, he knew that since he was trained and specialized in extractions, he could get into almost any structure undetected. But, honestly, anyone could have gotten in without Amber knowing.
It was late. She was alone. There was a break-in just a few days ago. What the hell was she thinking?
“Amber,” he barked.
She jumped, screamed and clutched her chest as she spun around.
Her eyes were wild with fear. He saw the exact moment she recognized him, “Oh my God! You scared me!”
“What are you doing?” he asked through clenched teeth. He could feel the anger radiating off of him in powerful waves.
He didn’t feel like this often, but the few times he had, the people on the receiving end of his mood looked scared and nervous. They cowed or at the very least flinched when he spoke to them angrily.
Not Amber. She seemed pissed.
Her brow furrowed and she shook her head with indignation. “What are you doing?”
“Installing security cameras,” his tone remained harsh with anger. He really didn’t give a damn.
“Cranston agreed to pay for those?” she sounded genuinely shocked.
“No,” he replied. His fury beginning to dissipate.
He had been told once by The Colonel when he was a teenager that anger was really just a byproduct of fear or hurt. He hadn’t believed him at the time. He hadn’t had an ‘aha’ moment, as his cousins (who were obsessed with Oprah) always claimed they had. As an adult, though, he was beginning to see the wisdom in that statement. He had been terrified that something had happened to her. Now that he saw she was okay, he was still mad, but not furious.
“How much is this going to cost me?” she asked distractedly. She didn’t seem like herself.
Seth had heard her talking when he came through the back door. It had sounded to him like she was upset. The sound of her distraught tone had only added to his panic. Now he saw that she held her phone in her hand and her eyes definitely showed signs that she had in fact been crying.
“What’s wrong?” he asked bluntly.
Amber waved her hand dismissively, “Nothing.”
In contrast to the words she had just spoken, her body language screamed that it was, in fact, something.
He wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms. To hold her until whatever was troubling her disappeared from her mind. He was filled with the desire to offer comfort and security. Not in any kind of a sexual way, purely as emotional support.
And that scared the shit out of him. The plan to keep his distance was looking better and better all the time. She seemed fragile and vulnerable and it caused him to want things he had no business wanting.
He was fucked up. He knew it. Not just physically, but mentally. For the past year or so he had not felt like himself. Maybe it was the PTSD. Or it could have been that all the things he had seen and done in his time in the military were catching up to him. A strong argument could also be made that he was still messed up from all the shit he had gone through with his mom.
Seth had never had a serious relationship. He had had casual ones with women that knew what he had to offer, which wasn’t a whole lot. He had always made it clear to women that he would not be taking any relationship to that 'next level.' Some women had dealt well with those terms, some women thought they could convince him otherwise.
When they realized they couldn’t, and it had inevitably had a messy ending, it never bothered him. In his military career, he was gone for such long periods at a time and moved around so much that he could just move on.
What he felt for Amber was more than he had ever felt for another person, but that didn’t change who he was. He couldn’t give her everything, and she deserved everything.
“How much?” she repeated her question, pulling him out of his reflective thoughts.
“Nothing,” he answered.
“Well who’s paying-” realization dawned on her. She firmly stated, “No. Absolutely not. You are not paying for this.”
My Everything - Seth & Amber Page 8