“Yeah, it’s off the coast of Texas. It looked to me like it was part of Texas at one time.”
We both fall into a state of reflection. I follow Ryker’s instruction and walk over to the keypad on the wall. The numbers of the code pop into my head without too much trouble, and I punch them. The door opens and we head out. Once we are at the top of the crater, I slow to a stop and turn to look back at the walled city that has kept me hostage for all of my 17 years. I can see the tower at the North Gate in the distance. Are you there today, Ethan? Are you watching me?
***
Ryker and I find a group of three very peaceful and very feeble travelers. They are not the evil marauders the Republic warns us about, though from experience I know that they do actually exist. The people before us have no permanent home to speak of, but Ryker documents our location on the map none-the-less. He will return it to the Ambassadors so they can modify their larger maps, and we can pretend to have done some work.
Before we send the people to Toledo Lake, Ryker asks them if they have a trinket to spare so we can prove their extermination has been dealt with. But, they don’t have anything to spare. They panic and ask if we are going to change our minds and kill them if they can’t pay.
“It’s okay,” my partner reassures them. “We’ll take care of it. You don’t have to pay. You’re okay. Just stick to the map and stay safe. They’ll help you once you get there.”
“Thank you,” the malnourished group says to us. They are beyond grateful for our help.
This is a good feeling, one that I would like to experience again and again. I enjoy helping people much more than learning how to kill them in the most efficient manner.
As Ryker and I travel back toward the Republic, we keep an eye out for a prize to bring back to Dr. Fredericks. Eventually, we find an abandoned vehicle that doesn’t look too damaged from rust and the general degradation of the elements. The interior is cluttered, but unfortunately, most of everything is rotten or crumbles under our touch.
“There’s nothing here,” I tell my partner. My hand comes up empty after reaching under the front seat, but it is covered in filth. I try to wipe it away on my pants, which is a mistake. Now my black bottoms are covered in what looks like gray ash.
“Keep looking. We have to find something.”
“What about this?” I hold up a button that I wrenched off the dashboard.
“No. He’ll know we pulled that out of a car. No one has any reason to keep one of those.” Ryker ducks back down, searching under the driver’s seat. “Here we go!” He rocks back on his heels and holds up a coin. It’s silver and surprisingly shiny.
“Can I see that?” I ask as I hold my hands out to catch the coin. My partner tosses it to me across the space of the front seats. As I inspect the metal piece that was once used as money, I see that it has a man’s head on one side, a large bird on the other, and the edges are ridged. “I’ve never seen money before. Have you?”
“I have, but not often. The paper stuff is long gone, but I’ll occasionally come across coins,” he answers.
“It’s so strange to think that people would trade this for food and weapons. What value does this have?”
“That’s a good question,” he replies. I toss the silver piece of forgotten currency back to him, and he slips it into his pocket.
We both stand and walk around to the front of the car. I continue to try to dust the dirt from my pant leg. After exhausting myself, I wipe the back of my hand across my forehead. “It’s hot today,” I comment. When I glance at my partner, he is smiling at me. “What?”
“You have something here.” He reaches for my face. His strong fingers feel like electricity shooting through my skin when he runs them over my forehead. I can feel myself blush as I gaze into his eyes. Then I lose myself in his inviting lips.
No! I pull away from him and wipe my face with the bottom of my shirt. I can’t let myself go there with him. I want to, but I can’t. It will be too painful for us later—when I am United with Ethan.
Ryker gives me my space. He returns to the work at hand. “Tomorrow we’re going to be gone overnight. Dr. Fredericks wants us to scout a little further north. It’s too far for a daytrip. I thought we could go take a peek at my old city. What do you think?”
“Um. Yeah, I‘d like to see one of the other Republics. I still can’t believe there are two other places like our Republic.” I ignore the awkwardness of the moment and focus on work as well. I need to see these other Republics and learn as much as I can if I’m going to make any difference. I think back on the vast amount of knowledge in the library. “Do you think we could find answers about why there are other Republics in the library? There were so many books there; one of them had to contain some answers.”
“Maybe. We can try to get you back in, if you want,” Ryker offers. “Although, I don’t know if you’d have time to read through a bunch of books.”
“I can at least try. Hmm . . . “ I consider the timing on when we can make another attempt to enter the library. We’ll be gone for two days starting tomorrow. It will have to be after that. I’m so lost in thought about schedules, that I’m completely and embarrassingly caught off guard when Ryker pulls a knife from his belt and launches it into the trees just as a gun explodes. The sound is near deafening.
Red liquid trickles out from under the sleeve of Ryker’s black shirt. It runs down his arm as he takes off running in the direction he threw his knife. I sprint after him. He’s in pursuit of a man carrying a handgun.
Something catches my eye above and to the right as I approach the woods. There’s a man perched in an old oak tree with a rifle. He’s aiming straight for Ryker. I have a spilt second to respond.
My knife finds itself in my hand without any effort. These weapons are like appendages to me. They move with my body without thought. I aim and throw, though I don’t want to. Killing is something I didn’t even think about last week while on the Pump. My Third Trial made me a murderer. But I followed orders and did my job, because they were bad people and that’s what I was trained for.
I hit my intended target—the trigger hand of the shooter—and the rifle falls to the ground below him. He screams in agony while clutching the bloody mess of his hand.
“Get down here now!” I scream over him as I pick up his fallen weapon. I couldn’t kill him. I don’t have the Pump to cloud my emotions like before. I’d like to think I can be gracious and not a mindless killer.
The dirty man half tumbles and half climbs down the tree. Once on the ground though, he thinks he’s a warrior again. He comes at me like a rabid grizzly bear, arms up in the air and an angry snarl on his lips. He even growls.
I stand my ground, tilt my head to the side, and furrow my brow as if to say, “Seriously?” The butt of the rifle finds his head as I swing it down to hit him. The bear-man falls to the ground unconscious.
After slinging the rifle over my shoulder, I dislodge my knife from the marauder’s hand. I wipe the blood off on his tattered shirt. Then, I turn to look for Ryker. He’s nowhere to be seen, so I call out for him, “Ryker!”
He doesn’t answer.
After a few agonizing moments, I push deeper into the woods. I find my partner’s blood trail easily and follow it. A knot is steadily growing in my stomach the longer I don’t find him. Without warning, a gunshot echoes through the forest. I pick up my pace, readying a knife in each hand. The seconds draw out as I pass more and more blood on the ground.
I run. Fast.
Just ahead of me, I see Ryker to my left behind a tree. Directly across from him, to my right, is the gunman hiding behind another tree. I’m about to run right in between them. They both see me at the same time. The barrel of the man’s gun shifts over to me, and I swear, I can see him start to pull the trigger back.
My first thought is: up or down?
Down.
I drop and slide feet first across the grassless earth as the gun goes off over my head. Ryker gets the opportu
nity to take the distracted man out. It’s over in seconds.
I struggle to get out of the tangle that the rifle and the back of my shirt made. As I fight to roll my shirt back down, I make my way over to Ryker who’s clutching his bleeding arm. “Are you okay?” I ask, my voice strained. I’m aggravated with my shirt, but I’m even more concerned about my partner’s injury.
“Yes,” he grunts. Though clearly, he’s not okay. There is blood everywhere. It’s dripping off the tips of his fingers as it runs down his arm.
The tangle-battle between my shirt and gun is finally over, and I’m able to move onto Ryker. I pull his fingers away from his arm and push his shirtsleeve up to take a look. “He took a good chunk out. It’s a pretty deep graze. I need something to tie around it.”
That gunman probably doesn’t need his entire shirt anymore. I glance over to the tree he was hiding behind. His feet are poking out of one end and his head and arms are visible at the other end.
“Wait here,” I instruct my injured partner.
As I stomp toward the man lying on the ground, I have no fear that he’ll suddenly sit up and shoot me. I know Ryker didn’t spare him, like I did the other man. Though that man will be of no use to anyone for a while with the way I left his hand. Actually, I’d be surprised if he regains full use of it.
And as I suspected, the man is gone from this world. I almost feel bad as I bend down and cut a strip of fabric from his shirt. I take his handgun as well.
Ryker’s wound needs real medical attention, so we head straight back to the Republic—straight to the infirmary. I leave him with the medical citizens once I know that he is okay. As suspected, it is only a flesh wound.
When I head outside for the cafeteria, I realize how late it is. I missed dinner.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Val is on the verge of losing her mind, when I finally come in after my long day. “Where have you been? I thought Ethan was going to expose us at dinner. He was so worried . . . or mad . . . I’m not sure which.”
I was so right about Val. I knew that when she got off the Pump she’d be a force to be reckoned with. She talks faster than I thought it was possible for someone to speak. It’s exhausting. I flop down on the bed, not caring that I’m filthy and sweaty and probably—no definitely—stinky. “We got attacked today. Ryker was shot.”
Her hands fly up to her mouth. She gasps. “Oh no! Is he okay? He’s not dead, is he?”
“No, he’s not dead. He got shot in the arm. It was a bad graze.” I roll myself up into a sitting position and tell her about the ambush and what I learned from the maps in the library. She’s shocked to say the least. To get our minds off the millions of unanswered questions, I ask her, “How have you been? How’s patrol going?”
“I’m fine. A little restless, I guess. I don’t know how you and Ethan did this. It’s hard to keep a straight face all the time. Like today, for instance, I was walking by the barn and a citizen slipped and fell in the mud. He even got mud in his ears. It was hard not to laugh. After I got that under control, I couldn’t even go over there and help him. The other Exalted guards would’ve definitely known something was off with me.” She stops to take a breath and then she’s off again. “I’m realizing for myself that I really don’t like how things are around here. I’ve never thought about it before, other than what you’ve mentioned. But this really isn’t right. Oh my goodness, speaking of not right, let’s get back to Ethan. That boy has some serious issues with you getting that position. Do you think he’s jealous about your job or he’s just worried about you? I can’t tell what’s going on in his head.”
Val finally comes to a stopping place in her rambling. I open my mouth to answer her, but then shut it when nothing comes out. I reflect on what I know of Ethan, and I find it almost humorous that he’s the one that’s turned out to be the mysterious man in my life. Ethan has always been my rock and my best friend—other than Val. I’ve always been so sure about knowing exactly who Ethan is.
I answer Val as honestly as I can, “I’m not sure what Ethan’s reasons are. I know Ethan is a good person, so this is really hard for me to figure out as well. Maybe he found out Ryker is my partner.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s probably it. I bet he’s jealous.”
I catch a whiff of myself and faintly hear the call of the shower beckoning me for a wash. Before I reach the bathroom door, I turn and ask Val, “What are you going to do about Kwan? Are you going to tell him, since you two will be United?”
Her face turns a soft shade of red. It flushes beneath her caramel skin. “I . . . I think I’ll tell him once we are United. I figure he’ll eventually find out anyway, since we’ll be living together. I can’t believe that it’s actually going to happen. I’m—what’s it called—nervous?” she admits.
“Me too,” I say. “I’ve always thought this would be my life. There were no other choices before. And Ethan . . . it’s Ethan. He’s strong and he finished in first place. That’s all that’s supposed to matter, but it’s not all that matters to me anymore. I want love.”
“You don’t love Ethan?” she asks a very good question—one that I’ve asked myself and know the answer to.
“Not like that, but I’m trying to.” I leave it at that and head into the bathroom.
As the water of the shower runs over me, I scrub my arms and hands to get the rest of Ryker’s blood off of my skin. As I think about him, I realize that I no longer have the right to harbor any remaining ill feelings toward him. I can’t be upset with someone for doing something that I myself have done. We are going to have to work together every day, so I am going to have to forgive him for keeping secrets.
I wash those last remaining negative emotions away along with his blood. Now all I feel is relief. It feels good. I’ll revel in it for a while, until I once again have to worry about the Republic and the upcoming United Ceremony.
Sleeps comes easily to me. Exhaustion takes over and my sleep is dreamless.
When morning breaks through the blinds in our dorm room, I sit up with a smile. I have friends and family on my side. I have a real reason to live today . . . and tomorrow.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The second I walk into the cafeteria for breakfast and see Ethan, my inner peace dissolves. It vanishes like it never existed at all. The wait in the line for my food is agonizing as he watches my every move. He did see me yesterday. I know it. Did he see Ryker? What is he thinking? I receive my food and walk to the girls’ side of the cafeteria. I sit at a table with Val and Trudi. Even though I am facing away from Ethan, I can feel his stare on my back, picking its way through my long hair, scratching at my scalp, and digging around in my brain.
He stands to leave when I do. I’m not surprised as this has been the case recently. We walk outside and stop behind the building. “What’s wrong?” I ask him, genuinely concerned about his uncharacteristic behavior.
“I saw you yesterday, but you know that. I saw him too. Why is he here?” His nostrils flare as he references Ryker. In fact, his whole body is tense.
I don’t know where to go with this. Ethan and I are a team. He shared my secret about the Pump. We trained together. We are going to be United. WE ARE GOING TO BE UNITED. I have to get that through my head.
I tell him everything. I tell him about the other walled cities and that Ryker is from one of them. I tell him about what we really do while scouting. I tell him about Ryker hiding Lily in his apartment. I tell him that we are trying to find answers and stop the drugging of our people.
After my massive admission, he surprisingly asks, “Why would you want to change the way things are and the way things have been? It’s obviously for a good reason or this wouldn’t be happening everywhere. You’re on top here, Mena. You have everything you’ve ever wanted. You are a first place Exalted. You are working directly for Dr. Fredericks—I would do anything to have that job.” He grabs my wrist and wrenches me closer to him. “And we’re going to be United. Doesn’t that mean anything to you
? Don’t I mean anything to you?”
“Of course you mean something to me. You always have. But I can’t live with this secret, Ethan. I won’t. What I want to know is why are you okay with it?” I stare into his eyes, waiting for an answer that will pacify me.
The anger and intensity between us is palpable. We are at risk for being found out by anyone that sees us. Neither one of us backs down though.
Ethan says, “I’m okay with it because I have everything I want. I have the best ranking and I have the first place female. My family will be honored. There’s nothing, and I mean nothing, more important to me. I won’t ruin that and have our lives torn apart. You can’t do this Mena. You’re going to get caught. He’ll find out.”
I shove Ethan away from me. “I can and I will do this, Ethan.”
“No, you won’t!” Ethan’s voice is almost a yell.
“You do NOT control me, Ethan! I am my own person.”
“What is going on?” Val joins us. “People are going to hear you. I heard you.”
“Mena was just telling me of her plans to bring down the Republic. I told her it was an idiotic idea and one that she won’t get away with.” Ethan’s breathing heavily and his nostrils are flared like a bull about to charge.
“Ethan, calm down,” Val says with a smoothing tone. It’s quite a contrast from her now usual animated way of speaking. “I’m with Mena on this one. We can’t stay this way forever. It’s not fair to everyone else.”
“Valesca, you don’t know what it’s like because you didn’t finish first,” Ethan states. The insult hangs in the air.
“What? Are you serious? Do you know what’s going on here? The Republic murders people for fun! Mena said Dr. Fredericks even keeps little trophies in his office. You’re okay with that?”
When he doesn’t respond, she says, “You disgust me, Ethan.” Val is done with our conversation. She storms away from us.
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