“You’re a hybrid?” I ask, guessing since he was careful to mention it.
“I am. But I didn’t know. Not until the magic I had thought was mine was ripped away and replaced with Carnal magic.”
“Which Court were you?”
He clears his throat. “I was born in the Lunar Court. My mother broke her vows to her husband and conceived me with a man of the Carnal Court. Brae’s father.”
My eyebrows rise in surprise. “You are brothers?”
“Half, but yes.”
I hadn’t known. I feel like I should have. Not that we’ve had a lot of time for me to ask about everyone’s family history. It just makes me remember how little we truly know each other and how much more I want to know. “What does this, or the fact that you’re Brae’s brother, have to do with me?”
“I’m celibate,” he says. “I have been since the day I joined the Carnal Court.”
My mouth opens and closes again. This conversation is going in a very different direction than I expected. Every one of these fae absolutely embodies sex. Verys included. And if his magic flows from the Carnal Court, being celibate must be awful. “Why?”
“I hope that you get to see the Lunar Court some day,” he says softly. “It’s beautiful. I loved it there. I had friends, and I loved the magic. But when my magic changed Courts, everything changed. My mother’s husband threw me out when he found out that I wasn’t his son. For a while I lived with Brae and his family, but everything that I knew, what I thought of as mine, was gone.”
“I’m sorry.” I ache for him and the sadness in his voice. This isn’t a wound that has gone away.
“I didn’t want any part of this new Court that took everything from me. So I made the choice to become celibate. It’s been a long time now. Old habits die hard.”
“So you’re saying—”
“That I would break my celibacy for you?” His mouth tips up into a smile. “Yes, Kari.”
My body goes hot with a blush. He’s seen me naked and helped another male fuck me, and somehow this feels just as intimate. “Have you always been?”
Verys slowly nods his head. “Yes.”
“Oh,” I say. “Wow.”
He laughs again. “I’m used to it now, it’s been hundreds of years.”
I blink. “Hundreds of years?”
He smiles at me again. “Still young, for a Fae.”
Somehow, it didn’t occur to me that these men had been alive for centuries. The thought doesn’t bother me though. They can’t change who they are any more than I can. “I can’t imagine going hundreds of years without sex. Or magic.”
“I have some magic,” he admits. “All Fae do. But you are correct, it is limited.”
“Your magic feels nice,” I tell him, leaning my head on his shoulder. “Smooth and silvery.”
He laughs, the vibration humming under my ear. “Thank you.”
I’m not going to rush him. If he needs time to accept that he no longer wants to be celibate, that’s fine. That’s a deeper reason than I had thought, and not one that you can just turn your back on after centuries. But that doesn’t stop my mind from spinning images of what we’ll be like together when he finally chooses to break that barrier.
They’re good images—his pale skin on mine, silver haze of power carrying us both into ecstasy. He doesn’t have to fuck me, but I tilt my face up to his. “Will you kiss me?” Silver eyes find mine, and I see him swallow. “You don’t have to,” I say. “If you’re not ready.”
His lips meet mine softly, barely a caress. It’s electric, the hairs on my arms standing up in response. I press my mouth up to his more firmly, so we’re connected, but no further. We’re suspended in the moment before it breaks, and I smile at him. “Thank you.”
Verys looks amused. “You’re welcome.”
We ride again for a while before the thought pops into my head. The story I wanted to ask about. “Can I ask you something else?”
“Of course.”
“When we were in the Crystal Court, I saw the story of the Goddess in their windows and their temple. But I don’t know the story. It didn’t seem like a good time to ask for details.”
He smiles and calls forward. “Brae.” His half-brother turns back towards us, a question on his face. “Kari wants to hear the story of the Goddess.” To me, Verys says, “Brae loves this story.”
And it’s true, Brae’s face lights up. “That’s an excellent story, and by the time we’re finished the horses will be rested enough.”
“You don’t tell it well,” Aeric says, though I can see he’s only saying it to rile Brae up.
Brae narrows his eyes. “I’m an excellent storyteller, thank you very much. This will be interesting for you, Kari, given you’re a human who has magic. It’s part of your history as well as ours.”
“Oh, okay,” I say. My own magic was small enough that I hadn’t felt it or tried to use it since all this happened. It’s the first thing to be stolen by the curse, feeding on my magic, and then theirs. The pain was too much for me to even try to touch it in the beginning and now their magic is so overwhelming that I haven’t felt the need to use it.
Because there’s enough magic floating in me right now to set a city on fire, mine is safe and protected. I can feel it humming in my chest, a small, soothing part of myself that’s always been there.
Brae begins. “This is the way it has been told to me. But you should also know that as with all stories of this kind, there are things that have warped and changed along the way. A long time ago—”
“In a galaxy far, far, away.” Kent says. I laugh, but the other men don’t. “Seriously,” Kent says. “You guys have been around humans long enough to know what Star Wars is.”
They shake their heads. “I have a feeling Kent and I are going to have to educate you when it comes to movies.”
“We’ve seen some,” Aeric says, tone defensive.
“A long time ago,” Brae says louder, making sure we get that he’s going to tell the rest of his story now. “There was no barrier between Allwyn and the human realm. It was one world, and gods roamed the land they had created.”
A hush falls over the group, and I listen. This isn’t like any version I’ve heard of Allwyn before now.
“Everyone lived together. Humans and Fae, spirits and animals. The gods. Everyone went where they wished. The loved whom they wished, which is how why there are some humans with magic now. The little power you have is ancient, Kari.
“The world was beautiful, but it was not balanced. The gods, holding the most power, ruled. And they were mercurial. Life meant nothing to them when they could create it and destroy it on a whim.
“But there were those among the gods who cared for their creations and felt that every species should be free to determine their own fate. So, after a long time deciding, the gods removed themselves from the world, and secluded themselves in heaven where they could create and destroy to their heart’s content.
“Yet the world was still not balanced. The Fae, now holding the most power, ruled. Because humans do not possess magic, they were taken advantage of. They were slaves and servants. They were not allowed to progress in their own culture because they were serving others. But humans were more numerous, and they fought back.
“The fae drew apart from humanity, lived in secret, creating the divide we now have between your realm and ours. This is where many of your fairy tales and legends come from. Some of them are formed with a core of truth. Others are not.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive humans for making us look like tiny butterflies,” Aeric says, smiling. But no one else is.
Brae looks at me, his face grim. “I’m afraid that is the best part of the story.”
My stomach drops, the seriousness with which he says it. That part wasn’t particularly bad, but it wasn’t good either.
“The gods’ power began to falter without a connection to this world that they had created. For they had used their essenc
e to build this universe, and the separation weakened them. And the division of Allwyn and the human world weakened them further. They started to die,” he said, voice low and urgent.
He really is an excellent storyteller.
“For an immortal god, death is unthinkable. But as more of them faded and did not reappear, the gods became more restless. They began to panic. Most of them wanted to raze this universe and reclaim the power they had spent. Start again and create a world that did not steal from them as this one had.
“Only one Goddess—Cerys—and her four husbands, stood against the tide of gods.”
I freeze. “Four husbands?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them.
All the men look at me, the faces of the fae males far too innocent. Verys has an amused smile on his face. “That’s right.”
I glance over at Kent, and he’s looking at me. He doesn’t look upset, just curious. The Goddess of this world had four lovers. Not just lovers, husbands. No wonder that Merina and Kaya were telling me that those kinds of relationships are common and accepted here. I shove down the idea that’s forming, focusing on Brae again. He’s studying me, waiting until I’m ready to continue the story. “What happened?”
“There was a war. It lasted hundreds of years, with Cerys and her husbands united with the fae against the rest of the gods. Eventually Cerys realized that there would be no winning the war in a fair fight. The gods were powerful, and though she knew they could be held off until they all faded, this world would be destroyed.
“And so she remade Allwyn. Her husbands held off her enemies while she used every part of her power to remake this world and bind herself to it. Her power burned around her, as she sacrificed herself to it. The gods had nothing left to sustain them, and they crumbled into dust. But Cerys herself was gone too, her life poured into her creation.”
Brae lets those words hang in the air. That was the image that I had seen in glass and in the temple—the Goddess being consumed by what I now knew were her own flames. I am no longer surprised by Nissa’s reaction to the image. The Goddess gave her life so that fae—and by extension, humans—could live. That’s a debt that can never be repaid.
“And after?” I ask softly.
“Her body was laid to rest in the Heart of Allwyn, where it is still. Her presence is the power that sustains Allwyn, and the source of all fae magic. They are one and the same.”
I nod. It’s a lot to take in. “And her husbands?”
“They are the ones that buried her,” Aeric says. “Shortly after they surrendered their power to Allwyn so that they could join her. Though it’s said that their spirits remain to guard her body.”
“That’s really sad.”
“In some ways, yes,” Brae says. “But the Goddess has also protected life that would have been extinguished, created new life, freed the world, and taught us the beauty of sacrifice.”
We stop briefly so that I can be passed to Brae and let Verys’s horse have a rest from carrying two people. Brae is a completely different kind of warmth, and as we begin to gallop again, I let myself drift.
I slip in and out of rest, my body still healing from what Ariana did. I can still feel that crystal inside me, lurking and burning in moments when the magic isn’t enough. That feeling is terrifying. Because I know what comes after it now, and I don’t ever want to go back.
That was too close, and it’s coming back too soon. I can feel it rising up and trying to consume me.
As we ride, I catch glimpses of other Kingdoms. A city in the distance that lights up the black night sky with thousands of neon lights. Trees and hills that seem to be made of paper, the sounds rustling in the air. Lush and humid air fills my lungs with the scent of water as we pass a still lake that disappears into the infinite distance.
And finally, when the sky is brightening, the sky turns to crimson, and Brae breathes a sigh of relief. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Pleasure,” he says quietly.
I look around and take it in as it passes by. I’m not sure what I thought it would be, but it seems shockingly…normal. But everything is more. The colors are more vibrant, the scent of the air delicious, even the way the light falls through the trees is beautiful.
There are different kinds of pleasure, and this land is made to cater to all the senses.
Softness and light and flowering trees in colors I could never dream of surround a shining city with walls that look like pearls. Brae tells me that it is the Court of Love, and I wish that we had time to stop and see it. Petals swirl in a rippling hurricane around us while we ride by. Some of them get caught in the blankets I’m wrapped in. Turquoise and lime and deep, blood red.
My stomach lurches with pain, and I have to close my eyes for a moment. The magic they gave me is fading quickly, being pulled into nothing. I’m dizzy and sick, the motion of our riding only making it worse. Focus on something else. Anything else.
The landscape quickly changes to something stark, but equally beautiful. Everything is sharper here, with rich colors and deeper shadows. We pass a Court that is as stunning as it is captivating. Black walls that seem out of place with the environment surrounding it. Spires that look like thorns in filigree, curving and twisting upward, reaching for the sky.
“The Court of Dominance,” Brae whispers. His breath sends a shiver down my spine. Or maybe it’s the thought of that place. I imagine it would be both sexy and terrifying at once.
Everything changes around us once again and all I can think to describe it is lush. Surrounding us are clearings with waterfalls and soft grass. Trees with ample shade and willows that would be amazing to spend an afternoon under.
My body rebels against what it sees. Everything that I’m looking at speaks of comfort and happiness, but my bones have turned back into glass. I’m holding onto Brae, hoping that our pace doesn’t break me. “Almost there,” he murmurs.
It’s coming too fast this time. How can I fight it off when it’s pulling me down from the inside? Making me collapse in on myself?
“There,” he says, and I force my eyes open.
The walls of the Carnal Court are red. Not the deadly crimson of Ariana’s magic, but the supple, deep red of a rose petal. That’s all I can see before I’m pulled down again, not pain this time, but emptiness and nausea.
The sound of loud galloping next to us rouses me to look, just for a second, and I see Aeric riding past us at incredible speed, aiming for the Court. I want to take it all in. I want to see this place that we’ve worked so hard to get to, but the only thing that’s keeping me from falling off the horse is focusing on the pressure of my fingers holding on. Biting my lip to keep myself from being sick.
At least we’re here.
Squinting my eyes open, I see us pass through the open gates. Pure, delicious, magic washes over me. It’s fresh like snow, freeing me of the sickness enough to breathe. And then it fades away, leaving me sicker than I was before. I nearly retch over the side of the horse.
The few things I do see are exquisite. Everything here is elegant and sensual. I catch glimpses of alcoves around fountains. Shining fabric drapes and delightful gardens. Everything is designed to bring you physical pleasure, and it shows. I wish I could focus on it.
The other thing is the sex. In that same alcove with the fountain I see a couple making love slowly. Intentionally. Two females kiss behind the fabric of the drapes, and a mess of fae are tangled together in the garden. So many limbs that I can’t discern who’s doing what.
Even after everything, it still seems strange to have sex celebrated and embraced so openly. I don’t mind. I like it. Could learn to like it, if I survive this. But first I actually have to survive.
The horses stop and Brae gathers me up into his arms as he drops to the ground. Just that movement causes me pain, and I hiss out a breath. I need help. I refuse to think about the alternative.
“Brae.” I say his name. It’s the only thing I can think of.
“I know.”
I can feel myself slipping away as he carries me through the Court.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
________
AERIC
I know.
There was a part of me that was waiting, to step inside the walls of the Court and realize that I was mistaken. That the pull I feel towards her was nothing more than circumstance. But it’s true.
Kari is my mate.
This gorgeous, precious, fragile human.
Replenishing magic came surging into me the minute I rode through the gates, and that elusive pull suddenly became a thundering current. But she’s not just mine. She’s all of ours.
You can’t walk down a street in any Court in Allwyn without encountering someone who shares a partner. But a shared mate? That’s impossibly rare. Would she still be my mate if we hadn’t gone to New York? Would we still have a shared one? Would I still have a mate at all?
Some fae never find a mate. It’s not something that you can expect, and if it happens, you’re lucky. I know that. I’m one of the luckiest bastards there is, even if this is the last thing I wanted. I never wanted to share anyone. I’ve seen too much sharing in my life, and it’s only caused me pain.
But Allwyn—the Goddess—doesn’t choose mates for no reason. And even if there weren’t a reason, I can’t go back now. It doesn’t matter what I wanted. This is what I have. I’m in love with Kari. This impossible, magical thing that binds us together isn’t going to let me go, and if she dies, the world is going to be ripped out from under me.
It doesn’t change how I feel, the frustration of being in a situation that I swore I never would put myself into. But I have to believe that the Goddess, Allwyn, has done this for a reason. Brae and Verys have been my friends for a long time, but now we’re more than brothers. I don’t have to ask them to know that we’re going to do whatever it takes to protect Kari, no matter the cost. Her life is everything.
We asked the Rialoir of the Crystal Court to send a message to Urien for us, to inform him what we needed. And I’m riding ahead to make sure that they’re ready, and to tell him what happened while we were on the road. He may not be prepared for what this female—Ariana—did to Kari.
Fevered: A Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance (The Carnal Court Book 1) Page 15