Love, InshAllah
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J. SAMIA MAIR is the author of two children’s books, Amira’s Totally Chocolate World and The Perfect Gift. She is a staff writer for SISTERS magazine and has been published in magazines, books, anthologies, scientific journals, and elsewhere. Prior to her current writing, she was on the faculty of the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, where her research focused on reducing violence in and protecting the health of vulnerable populations. She also practiced law for over eight years, including several years in the appeals unit of the Philadelphia district attorney’s office. She lives in the United States with her husband and two daughters, whom she homeschools.
MELODY MOEZZI is an Iranian American writer, speaker, author, attorney, and activist. Her first book, War on Error: Real Stories of American Muslims, earned her a 2007 Georgia Author of the Year Award. Melody is also a United Nations Global Expert with the UN Alliance of Civilizations and a member of the British Council’s Our Shared Future Opinion Leaders Network. She is a commentator on NPR’s All Things Considered and a blogger for the Huffington Post and Ms. magazine. Her writings have appeared in publications around the world, including the Washington Post, the Guardian, the Christian Science Monitor, CNN.com, Al Arabiya, and the Gulf Times. She is also a regular blogger and columnist for Bipolar magazine.
NIJLA BASEEMA MU’MIN is a writer, filmmaker, and photographer from the San Francisco Bay Area. She is a 2007 graduate of UC Berkeley, and also attended Howard University’s MFA film program. She was the recipient of the 2009 Paul Robeson Award for Best Feature Screenplay. At UC Berkeley, she served as a student teacher in June Jordan’s Poetry for the People program. Her writing has appeared in the Berkeley Poetry Review, Poets for Living Waters, the Diverse Voices Quarterly, Kweli Journal, Mythium: Journal of Contemporary Literature, and the GirlChild Press anthology Woman’s Work: The Short Stories. She is an MFA student in writing and film directing at the California Institute of the Arts.
ZAHRA NOORBAKHSH is a writer, actor, and stand-up comedian whose one-woman shows, “All Atheists Are Muslim” and “Hijab and Hammerpants,” have appeared at the New York International Fringe Theater Festival, the San Francisco Theater Festival, and the Solo Performance Workshop Festival, to widespread critical acclaim. She graduated from UC Berkeley in 2006, with a degree in theater and performance studies. Though she began as a stand-up comic, Zahra’s love of storytelling drew her into the world of theater and, ultimately, the art of short-story writing.
CHINYERE OBIMBA is in her final year at Harvard Medical School and is applying for residency in family medicine. She hopes to work with underserved populations, practice obstetrics, and participate in intervention planning for health promotion programs. Among her role models she counts her parents, Eny-ichukwu and Khalilah, who continue to show her what love and marriage are all about. She considers her younger brother, Chuk-wuemeka, who has autism, one of her life’s inspirations. When she’s not being a medical student, she enjoys dancing samba, listening to and singing Brazilian music, and writing. She also aspires someday to be a wife, a mother of three or four children, and the proud owner of a talking bird.
AIDA RAHIM is an engineer by training and a crime-TV aficionado in practice. She currently lives in the middle of southwest Virginia. She wasn’t expecting to like this small town, but she wasn’t expecting to meet and marry a small, hairy Pakistani man in Malaysia, either. She’s pretty athletic and can probably beat you in most racket sports. She’s also been getting excited about the barefoot-running movement.
AISHA C. SAEED was born and raised in South Florida. She is a teacher, attorney, and writer. She recently completed her first two novels. In her free time, Aisha enjoys traveling, reading, and blogging at www.aishaiqbal.blogspot.com. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia, with her husband and son.
DEONNA KELLI SAYED is a coffee-drinking, ghost-hunting American Muslim of global proportions. She has lived and traveled throughout the Muslim world, and her work has appeared in lifestyle magazines such as Women This Month Bahrain and FACT magazine. In 2006, Deonna helped establish Elham, the premier grassroots creative-arts group in the Persian Gulf. She is currently the editor of Ghostvillage.com and the author of Paranormal Obsession: America’s Fascination with Ghosts & Hauntings, Spooks & Spirits, which is a cultural studies discussion regarding the role of paranormal-reality TV in a post-9/11 American society. Deonna’s writing, regardless of the subject, ultimately examines the intersections of identity and culture. Visit her website, www.deonnakellisayed.com.
SUZANNE SYEDA SHAH is a Muslim poet and writer and a human activist. She was born in Saudi Arabia to Bengali parents and immigrated with her family to Los Angeles when she was four years old. After she completed her bachelor’s degree in Islam and modernity at UC Berkeley, her passion for community service and the need to improve the health care system led her to pursue a career in medicine. She currently resides in California with her husband, Mika’il.
NAJVA SOL is an Iranian American writer, photographer, and multimedia artist. She received her BA in creative writing from the New School in New York City. Najva is cofounder of Lowbrow Society for the Arts, where she curates fabulous art extravaganzas. Her writing has been published in Look Look magazine, amNew York, Bitch magazine, and more. Her photos and performances have been featured in the National Queer Arts Festival (2010 and 2011), numerous galleries, the Commonwealth Club, and the Nuyorican. Lowbrow Society has appeared in Nerve. com, New York Press, the San Francisco Bay Guardian, and Time Out New York. When not making art, Najva is active in various nonprofits that deal with some combination of art presenting, queer empowerment, and social justice.
ANGELA COLLINS TELLES lives in São Paulo, Brazil. Before her relocation, she served as the director of a private Islamic school in Orange County. She has appeared on CNN, Inside Edition, the Today show, Fox News, and Al Jazeera and has been featured in People magazine. Angela and her husband, Marcelo, are the proud parents of two sons, Gabriel and Ryan.
About the Editors
AYESHA MATTU is a writer and international development consultant. Her work has appeared in the International Museum of Women, Religion Dispatches, and the award winning blog, Rickshaw Diaries. She was selected a Muslim Leader of Tomorrow by the UN Alliance of Civilizations and the ASMA Society in 2009. Ayesha is working on a memoir about losing faith and finding love from which “The Opening” is excerpted. She lives with her husband and son in Northern California.
NURA MAZNAVI is a civil rights attorney. She has worked with migrant workers in Sri Lanka, on behalf of prisoners in California, and headed a national legal advocacy organization’s program to end racial and religious profiling. Nura is working on a screenplay and several short stories. Nura’s third love–after food and traveling–is California, where she was raised and lives currently.
Acknowledgments
This project began in the Name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate. Our gratitude to Him, and prayers that this effort will be filled with baraka.
This book would not have been possible without the support and encouragement of our families and friends.
Almost five years ago we came to our friend and mentor Safir Ahmed with the seed for this book. Over countless weekends in his gorgeous Noe Valley apartment he generously devoted his time and expertise to making it a reality.
Randy Nasson has consistently talked us down from the ledge and from self-destructing. He spent years helping brainstorm ideas, believing in us when we were ready to give up, and providing the time and space to work without which this book would not exist. And, he came up with the brilliant title.
If not for our fairy godparents, David Sterry and Arielle Eck-stut, this book would have languished as a book proposal. David and Arielle, winning the San Francisco LitQuake Pitchapalooza in 2010 was a much-needed boost to our confidence, but the real prize was the consultation with you, and the enthusiasm, insight, and connections you so generously shared.
Laura Mazer, thank you for believing in this project and your
willingness to take a risk on unknown writers and an untested market. Your editorial vision for all the book could be pushed us to reach the full potential of ourselves and this collection.
Soft Skull Press epitomizes the best in independent publishers. Thank you for respecting our intentions and context, from the title and content to the cover design.
Rebecca Spence, thank you for sharing your craft and teaching us to become editors.You went above and beyond the call of duty because of your passion for this project.
We procrastinated for as long as possible on our individual stories, and they were only written because of Kathleen McClung’s memoir class at the San Francisco Writing Salon. Kathleen, your gentle shaping of our stories gave us the courage to write.
To the wonderful ladies of our memoir class, Ayesha’s virtual writing group, and Christine Sowder, thank you for reading countless versions of our stories and for providing invaluable, constructive feedback.
Thank you to all those who charted this course before us and so willingly shared their wisdom with wit and warmth to help us on our own journey to publication and beyond: Wajahat Ali, Reza Aslan, Tamim Ansary, Zahir Janmohamed, Fatima Ashraf, Zahra Suratwala, and Kathy LeMay.
Sharing our personal stories has not only been challenging for us, but also in some ways for our parents. We recognize that in telling our stories we are also telling part of yours. Your love, encouragement, and support allowed us to honestly share our lives.
Our siblings—Rabia and Aamna Mattu, Hasna, Khalid, and Riyad Maznavi—thank you for helping us keep it real with a healthy dose of laughter and perspective.
Thank you to our support networks: Our halaqa for keeping us spiritually grounded; David Evans for calmly and willingly stepping into the whirlwind; Sawssan Ahmed and Arshad Ali for hours of IM therapy; Kathie Tsoukalas, Salma Malik, and Erin Sharkey Carter for their unconditional love; and Marcy Michaud Franck for her friendship, astute memory, and incredible editing and graphic design feedback.
Finally, our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of women who trusted us and shared their lives and loves. Your honesty and courage moved and inspired us. We are proud to stand beside you.
Questions for Discussion
1. What are some common cultural understandings of Muslim women/men? How do these stories complicate these cultural understandings?
2. Culture and religion are intertwined. What are some ways that the women in this anthology balance their faith and American identity with their search for love?
3. What did you find especially surprising or compelling in these stories or about these women?
4. Whose story did you identify with most strongly, and why?
5. Discuss the idea of being honest with your parents (or children) about sex and other relationship issues. How do some of the authors handle this and how did you do so in your life?
6. How did your religious upbringing contribute to who you are today?
7. If you believe in a religion that has a sacred scripture, do you know what every word means and adhere to every command? If not, why not?
8. Some of the authors discuss juggling family expectations and the search for love. How is their experience similar or dissimilar to yours? Did familial expectations, race/ethnicity, religion, or socioeconomic factors play a role in your search for a partner?
9. Are there any passages in the book you would like to share (or have already shared) with your friends or family?
10. In the introduction, the editors explained why they collected these stories. Do you think the editors were successful in their aims? Why or why not?
Copyright 2012 © Ayesha Mattu, Nura Maznavi
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. Some contributor names and other details have been changed in this book to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
eISBN : 978-1-593-76473-9
Soft Skull Press
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