by Leigh Walker
My mother blinked at him then tentatively shook his hand. “Do you know my daughter?”
“She’s my friend,” he said, his dimple working overtime. “May I come in?”
“Riley?” My mother didn’t take her eyes off him.
The dimple strikes again.
“Sure, come on in.” My cheeks reddened as he came over and nodded at me.
His jam-packed backpack was over his shoulder. My heart sank. Was he here to take me back already? “Why do you have a bag?”
“I was hoping I could stay with you guys, you know, and get to know your mom.”
My mother arched an eyebrow at him. “Really.”
Finn gave her a winning smile. “Only if that’s okay with you, Mrs. Payne.”
“Only if it’s okay with my daughter. And only if you sleep on the couch.”
I groaned. “Mom, we’re just friends.”
My mother snorted and grabbed a grape off the platter.
“So…” I looked back and forth between them, feeling lost. “What should we do?”
“Go for a walk?” Finn suggested. “It’s beautiful out.”
“Then we could play Uno and order a pizza?” My mom sounded eager to please.
Something happened in my chest. It was as if my heart untied itself from a very, very tight knot. “Okay. That actually sounds really great.”
“She didn’t ask you anything?” Finn asked later, helping himself to another enormous handful of popcorn.
I tore my eyes away from the episode of The Walking Dead we’d been watching. I’d missed my show. “No. I think it’s maybe because you’re here. Is that why Cranston sent you? So she’d be on her best behavior?”
“No. I asked to come, and he approved it after I told him why.”
“Okay…Why?”
Finn shrugged. “The whole reason Cranston let you visit is because he wants you both to have closure. He wants your mother to calm down, probably because she’ll be easier control—I’m not going to lie. And he doesn’t want you freaking out, probably so you’ll be easier to control—I’m not going to lie.”
“I already knew that. But why are you here?”
“She should know that you’re going to be with people who care about you, people who are your friends. I thought it might help her, is all.”
Touched, I handed him the remainder of the popcorn. “That’s really nice. Thank you.”
We watched the show in silence for a few minutes. “This is the first time she’s been…sober…since my Dad and Katie died.”
“She’s really making an effort.”
“Maybe she knows this is it, that this is the last time…”
Finn patted my hand. “Don’t think about it, Hanover. Just live in the moment. I’d give anything to go back and see my mom. Maybe that’s the real reason I’m here: to live vicariously through my girlfriend.”
“Shh, don’t let my mom hear you. You said we were just friends!”
Secretly, I was thrilled. And then I remembered I couldn’t keep secrets from him, and settled on just being thrilled.
Finn left the next morning, saying he had to work out for a few hours.
“I’ll bet he does,” my mother said, archly.
“Mother.”
“Aw, come on. He is a fine-looking boy. I’m old, but I’m not blind!”
I couldn’t help laughing. My mother hadn’t cracked a joke in a long time.
She put a hand on her hip. “Do you think he really went to work out, or do you think he left us alone on purpose?”
I opened a cabinet, searching for more crackers. “I think he really went to work out, and he left us alone on purpose.”
“Riley…do you want to run away from them?”
I turned to face her, only I wasn’t just facing her—I needed to face the truth. My truth. “No, I don’t. Not yet, anyway.”
My mother pursed her lips. “That’s probably for the best. I don’t think they’d let you get away. They’re too invested in you.”
“How do you know? How do you know what they are and what they want?”
“Jesus, I wish I could have a drink.” When I winced, she said, “I’m sorry, honey. But it’s so hard to tell you the truth. I feel terrible about what I’ve done, all the things I kept from you…”
“You mean, that you and Dad adopted me from the agency?”
She nodded.
“And that you lied to me about it?”
“I couldn’t tell you. We weren’t allowed to.”
“Finn’s mother told him when he was little,” I complained.
“But he must’ve had his talent from an early age. Correct?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
“What’s Finn’s talent?”
I looked nervously out the window, wondering if Cranston would come for me for revealing too much. “He’s a telepath.”
“And what’s yours?” she asked softly.
“I…I can move things. With my mind. Sometimes.”
“Ah. You’re telekinetic.”
I nodded, unable to risk saying more. “Did you know?”
“No. Your father and I weren’t privy to the details of your background. We only knew that you were special, gifted, and that we needed to make your life as normal as possible.”
“What about Katie?”
“She was your biological sister. I’m sure you must know that.”
I nodded. “But was she gifted?”
“I don’t think she was as gifted as you.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but she stopped herself.
“What? What aren’t you telling me?”
My mother shook her head. “I can’t tell you more about your sister. I have a confidentiality agreement that prohibits it.”
“What happens if you break it?”
“I lose…” Her chin quivered. “Money. And they would come after me, maybe incarcerate me. Or worse. And I’m no good to you then.”
“They’re paying you?”
She closed her eyes. “They are now.”
“They’re paying you to stay away from me, to stop sending me crazy letters and telling me things you shouldn’t?” I felt my blood pressure rise.
“Please don’t ruin our time together. I’m doing this for both of us just like your father and I went through the whole program for you and your sister. Everything I’ve done has been for you and Katie.”
“Your taking money for my benefit?” I asked, my voice an angry taunt.
“They told me they’d kill me.” Her shoulders slumped. “Do you think I want to leave you completely alone? You think that’s what I want, after all this?”
“I didn’t…I didn’t know.” I swallowed back some of my anger. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. And honestly, if you weren’t in the picture, I’d be happy to be dead.” Her voice went flat. “Dead is so much easier.”
Trying to salvage the visit, we went out for ice cream. I dug into my black-and-white soft serve with rainbow Jimmies, my favorite.
“Do you think they let me come and see you so I’d know that they’d threatened you?”
My mother stopped drinking her mocha frappe and nodded. “That sounds about right. That’s how they operate.”
We regarded each other for a moment.
“What are you going to do?” I asked.
“I’m going to take the money and do what they ask. Right now, that’s staying in Hanover and not reaching out to you, not sending you more letters that require redacting. But I want you to know—I’m always here for you, no matter what.”
“Are you still working?”
“Not at the laundromat. I don’t need to now because of the money. I was thinking that maybe…” She looked down, picking imaginary lint from her shorts. “That maybe I could start attending meetings. But I don’t know if I can do it on my own. I might have to go to rehab.”
In a very un-Riley-like move, I reached out and squeezed her hand. “Mom, that’s awesome.”
I squeezed her hand, hard. “Oh, Mom.”
Finn came back later. We played Uno with my Mom until nine, when she begged off and went to bed.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked me.
“Sure.”
We headed outside. Something snuffled from the gated back yard of the apartment. “Oh, that’s Ernie, my landlord’s dog. He must have heard us, and he likes to go for a walk.”
“Then let’s get him.”
Finn followed as I unlocked the gate, grabbing the leash from its peg. Our landlord didn’t like to walk Ernie, so he left the leash for me or any of the other tenants who wanted to take pity on the slobbery English bulldog.
Ernie raced to me, his stumpy tail wagging, his breath coming in wheezy puffs.
“Is he okay?” Finn asked, as I patted the dog.
“He’s fine. He always sounds like this. Good boy,” I told the dog. He sat proudly, his tongue lolling to the side, as I attached his collar. I led him out to the sidewalk, enjoying the warm air.
Finn reached out for my hand. I laced my fingers through his, a tingling running from my hand all the way down my spine. He pointed at the sky. “You can see all the stars tonight.”
“Yeah—it’s so pretty.” I couldn’t believe Finn was holding my hand, and we were walking down the street with Ernie. My mother was safe asleep in our apartment.
It almost seemed normal, except for the fact that I was still me, and I was a nascent telekinetic holding hands with my hunky, arrogant, telepathic friend, who was more than a friend.
Tomorrow, we would leave with The Division for the next phase of training. After that, we’d be deployed. But for tonight, for the first time in a long time and maybe for the last time, I was an almost-normal teenager.
“How are you feeling about everything?” Finn asked.
“I’m glad I got to visit my mom. She’s doing so much better.” I let Ernie stop to pee. “And as for everything else… I don’t know. I don’t feel as though I’m ready to fight a war, but I’m not ready to walk away.”
“So you feel loyal? To The Division?”
I thought about it. “I feel loyal…to you.” I was glad it was dark so he couldn’t see me blush. “And to Emma, and Josh, and the others. To our team.”
“Does that include the twins?” Finn asked.
“Yes. Of course.”
“Rachel?” He was laughing, and I almost smacked him.
“Yes, ugh.”
“Kyan?”
“Kyan is an asshat!”
“But you still didn’t really rat him out.”
“I couldn’t do it.” I shrugged. “He’s part of our team. And no one on the team gets left behind, even if they’re an asshat.”
“What about Cranston?” Finn asked.
“I don’t know about that. Not yet.”
Finn pulled me closer. “Do you know about me?”
My heartbeat kicked up. “Yes. Do you…know about me?”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. My whole body tingled. “I know everything I need to.”
He pressed his lips to mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
Ernie tugged on the leash, pulling us apart. We started walking again, and I peeked at Finn. “You say that now, but at the prison… why did you say you’d ruined my life?”
“I don’t remember saying that,” Finn lied.
When I scoffed, he said, “I hit my head, remember?”
“Tell me the truth!”
Finally, Finn asked, “Remember when I told you we were…genetically engineered for the agency?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes. I still can’t process it.”
“Well, some of the engineering was pretty specific. For instance, I was designed specifically to have telepathy powers. I was bred from two strong telepathic donors. The agency watched me from birth and confirmed early on that I was gifted.”
“So my biological parents were telekinetic?” The idea that there were others like me was surprisingly exciting.
Finn looked thoughtful. “Probably. I don’t know any specifics about your parents, though.”
“Did the agency do this for all of us? Design us to have… gifts?”
“I believe so. They also had us coded strongly for physical strength, health, high intelligence, bravery, and above-average looks. Obviously.” He motioned to his face and laughed.
“Anyway, they also designed us—and I don’t understand the science behind this; it’s above my pay grade—for loyalty. Everyone in The Division has a fierce capacity for allegiance. Loyalty to our unit, to our cause, to our country, to…each other.” His gaze rose to meet mine. “And some of those loyalties are specific within the unit.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Each of us was designed to be devoted to another member of the team.”
This did not compute. “Huh? You mean, like a BFF?”
Finn’s face went slack with annoyance. “Not exactly.”
“What the heck are you talking about?”
He groaned in frustration. “You were made for The Division. Can you accept that now?”
I considered everything that had brought me to this point, everything I’d seen, done, and learned over the summer. “Yes. I’m still struggling a little, but I accept what you’re saying as the truth. I was genetically designed to be part of this team, and that’s how I got my telekinetic powers.”
“Good.” But he didn’t sound good; he sounded stressed. “You were made for The Division. You were also made…for me. I mean, we were made for each other. I think. I’m pretty sure.”
I couldn’t help it—I laughed. “Aren’t you kind of getting ahead of yourself?”
He scrubbed his hands across his face. “No.”
Realizing he wasn’t kidding, I asked, “How do you know?”
“Because I know.”
I tugged on Ernie’s leash so he stopped. “If this is true, why did you react the way you did the first time you saw me—that day, on the steps of Fallon Hall?”
“React like what?” He sounded nonchalant.
“Like I was a leper.”
“Oh—that.” He didn’t say anything for a minute. “It’s because as soon as I saw you, I knew that…you know.”
“Why were you rude to me?”
Finn sighed. “I wanted to protect you from what was about to happen—The Division, the discovery of your powers, all of it.”
“Were you disappointed it was me?”
Finn grimaced. “No Riley. But when you love somebody, you want to spare them pain. Okay?”
“Okay.” My voice came out small. Did he just say…
“Did you forget your boyfriend’s telepathic?”
“N-No.”
He rocked back on his heels. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told you about this, but I thought you deserved to know.”
“Explain how it works.”
“I don’t understand exactly how it works. All I know is, they coded us for compatibility within the group. And when I saw you, I knew.”
I swallowed over a sudden lump in my throat. “Did Cranston confirm this?”
“There isn’t a test you can do, Ri. You either feel it, or you don’t.”
“That sounds like…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“A human emotion.” Finn smiled at me. “That’s because it is a human emotion.”
“And you never felt it for anyone else in the group? Anyone, say, with perfect hair and perfect skin, who has boobs way too big for her stick-thin but still ridiculously strong and athletic, perfectly proportioned body?”
He laughed. “No. It’s never been Rachel.”
“Not even when you were making out with h
er?”
“No.” His gaze locked with mine. “All I could think about was you.”
“Oh.” I blushed in pleasure. “Huh.”
Finn grabbed my hand again. “We should finish our walk.”
We walked back to the apartment in silence, my mind whirling.
Finn stopped outside the door looking stressed, his usual swagger gone. “I’m trying to be a good boyfriend and not listen to your thoughts, but could you please tell me what you’re thinking?”
“It’s just that… I don’t want this”—I pointed back and forth between us—“if there even is a this, to be something I have no control over. Something that isn’t natural. That takes all the… naturalness out of it.” I reached down and patted Ernie’s head.
“It’s still natural, Riley. We’re not robots that are attached to each other via electrical currents or coding. We’re human, all too human, complete with real feelings.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” He sounded alarmed. “Don’t you have, like, five thousand questions to ask me?”
“I’m sure I will. But for tonight, I just want it to be you and me. Just normal.”
Finn held out his hand, and I took it.
He grinned. “Normal isn’t really an option.”
I grinned back. “At least I know I won’t be bored.”
“Not ever.”
I squeezed his hand as I contemplated the future. “Do you mean ‘not ever’ as in never ever, because we can’t ever retire and we’re genetically designed for each other?”
Finn laughed. “Was that one question, or two?”
“Why?”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “I’m trying to figure out if it’s Number 1,083 or 1,084. I have a feeling keeping track will be fun. We might hit googolplex.”
“Stop.”
“Not ever, Hanover. As in never ever.”
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