Passing by the billiard room, Ellie glanced in to see Jamie and Phillip Browning, the friend Emily and Ellie had seen Jamie triumph over in fencing. They each had a glass of alcohol sitting beside them and Jamie was smoking a cigar. He still wore the glasses, but the bright tie lay on the ground beside his chair. His feet were perched up on the table as he read over some sort of letter.
“She’s mad about ya, mate,” Phillip was saying, “Always has been, always will be.”
“I know, I know,” Jamie replied, rubbing his head as though he felt uneasy toward the whole situation, “And it’s torture for me to refuse her when she’s such a sweet girl. I just wish she’d find someone who could return her affections and adoration instead of focusing them on one who isn’t able to love her back.”
“Well, of course you’re able to love her back, you just don’t want to.”
“It’s not true. She’s a wonderful girl and it’d be an honor to return her sentiments, but I just can’t,” Jamie returned, taking another puff of his cigar, “You can’t make yourself love someone.”
“I heard Sarah was ecstatic when she heard you’d returned. She dumped that Frank guy she’d been seeing lately, and her heart was instantly set back on you again. From what I heard, Mr. and Mrs. Walsh were, and still are, furious,” Phillip smiled, “For some odd reason they don’t think you’re the type of man they want hanging around their precious Sarah. They aren’t too happy that you’ve been thrown out of school again, I suppose.”
Jamie didn’t return the grin, “Maybe she should listen to her parents. She could do a lot better than me, I’m sure.”
“I don’t know why she hasn’t ended this silly chase already. It’s been like ten years, hasn’t it?”
“That’s right.”
“You know what? I’ll bet it’s because you took her to her debutante ball. She probably got some silly notion in her head after that that you loved her back and she hasn’t been able to realize the truth since.”
“I didn’t even want to go to the darn ball,” Jamie said, massaging his eyes and running a hand through his hair, “My mother made me. She said it’d be horribly rude to refuse a girl to her own ball and that if Sarah asked me I had to say yes, and of course, Sarah asked.”
Phillip ignored Jamie’s misery, laughed, and said, “Well you’d better keep an eye out, Jamie boy. Before you know it she’ll be begging you to accompany her to another ball or somethin’. I’ve never seen a girl so crazy about a man, and for you, nonetheless.”
Chapter 10 - Emily’s Wedding
As time flew by, months began to pass, and seasons changed, Ellie grew even closer to some of her new friends and further from an old one.
To the four Rhodes children, Ellie was regarded like an older sister. They’d never had a nanny so young before and she wasn’t at all strict or orderly like their past governesses.
Emily and Ellie grew even closer for they were busy in their spare time preparing for Emily’s quickly approaching wedding, which would be held in the Thompson’s backyard. While the children played, they’d sit and sew Emily’s gown every day it rained.
Jamie and Ellie quickly became “friends”, though Ellie wasn’t exactly sure that was the correct term to describe their relationship. They saw one another each and every day for hours at a time, and had great fun together, but Ellie never knew if Jamie came down to the schoolroom to see his siblings, or if he actually liked to talk to her. When they, and the children played pirates, or Peter Pan, hide-n-seek in the orchard, or fencing, Ellie never knew if this was the way Jamie had acted with all the children’s past nannies when he’d been home from school, or if their special sort of closeness was just that- special.
Not surprising, but Ellie’s friendship with Jamie wasn’t an ordinary one. She felt strange towards him sometimes when they were together- like he was technically, sort of, almost, her boss and that she had to obey him. Sometimes it seemed like a dictator-friendship. Almost as if she were playing checkers with a professor and if she lost she’d fail the class. Jamie didn’t know this though, and he certainly hadn’t done anything to propel such a notion.
Jon and Ellie, though they’d had a strong relationship from the beginning, grew so close they were practically inseparable. Best friends were they, but most of Donners Bend’s townspeople couldn’t help but wonder, and hope, that they would soon grow deeper affections than friendship for one another. They wanted them to fall in love. Of course, neither Jon nor Ellie were aware of this fact, and if they somehow found out, they’d probably only laugh at the absurdity of such a statement.
Marcelle though, had slowly begun to fade from Ellie’s life. So much so that Ellie wasn’t even aware that Marcelle had a new beau. She also wasn’t aware that this was what Marcelle wanted, not the part about them fading from each other’s lives, but the fact that Ellie didn’t know her new sweetheart. Marcelle had been hiding a rather surprising secret for some time now and she wasn’t ready to share it with Ellie, nor anyone else, yet.
* * * * *
Matthew and Emily’s wedding day soon arrived and everyone in town, though that wasn’t many, dressed in their best and came to celebrate and congratulate the happy couple at the reception in the Thompson’s backyard.
Ellie arrived with the Rhodes. She was technically working, but with very flexible hours. Jamie came along too, of course, and whenever Ellie felt like running off with Emily for a second, drifting through the crowds, or dancing with Jon, Jamie was ready and willing to take over watching the children.
The sun was shining brightly, not a cloud in sight, that mid-afternoon as the bride and groom danced happily in one another’s arms. Ellie played dolls with Gracie and Leah on a blanket, though her eyes couldn’t help but continually drift up to Jamie and his friend Phillip. They were practicing their fencing skills with Demi and Wesley, and their jackets and hats lay forgotten on the floor. Sarah Walsh, Ellie noticed, hadn’t taken her eyes off Jamie all night.
After some time, and as other couples approached the wooden dance floor set up on the back porch, Sarah gathered up her courage and interrupted Jamie and Demi’s ongoing match.
“Please excuse me, Mr. Rhodes, but might I speak to you for a, a m-moment?” Sarah stammered as she looked into Jamie’s eyes as though he was a saint. She then turned to Demi, “I’m terribly sorry to disturb your game, Miss Demi Louise, and I hope you don’t mind that I steal your elder brother for a moment.”
Demi, acting like a little lady, gave a curtsy and said, “Not at ‘t’all.”
“Mr. Rhodes?” Sarah asked again, her voice almost quivering.
“Yes, yes, of course,” Jamie said as he grabbed his jacket. He did his best to put on a merry face, but Ellie knew just by looking into his eyes that he wasn’t merry at all. He hated to act so cheerful and bring Sarah’s hopes up, but he couldn’t be rude and arrogant and hurt her either.
Sarah led Jamie to the floor and they began to dance. Phillip watched with an amused face.
“Poor guy,” he said to Ellie as his eyes followed the mismatched couple dance around the floor. Ellie couldn’t help but agree with him.
The sun began to set and Jamie thanked Sarah for the dance, but told her he really must get back to watching the children. Ellie took the opportunity to have a few dances herself. Phillip led her out first, but then after a few dances Jamie interrupted and Phillip took over watching the children, and then Jon interrupted and he and Ellie danced the night away.
The night had begun to grow dark and many of the mothers of younger children, tired from a long day, began to file out. This group included Louise Rhodes and she took her four youngest with her, so Ellie was free to do as she wished. She was about to join in on Emily and a few other ladies’ conversation when someone else caught her eye. Leaning against a large oak tree fairly far off under the twinkling stars was Jamie. His black fedora created a shadow over the top half of his face.
Ellie went to join him. They spoke for a moment of non-important
things: how beautiful the night was, the following day’s weather, and a few other insignificant topics. Jamie mentioned that he’d like to play Peter Pan tomorrow with the children and Ellie promised to be Wendy, like she always was. And then suddenly, Ellie noticed something different about Jamie. Something was very different in his eyes. There was a glimmer in them that had not been there before. She did her best to ignore it.
“You know Ellie, I believe you’re the only nanny I’ve been fond of in all these years,” said Jamie.
“Is that so?” Ellie wanted to know what fond meant exactly, but she was afraid to hear his answer. “How many nannies would you say the children have had over the years?”
Jamie shrugged, “Fifteen at least, but I’ll bet none have been under the age of thirty-five. That’s why the children like you so much; you’re closer to their age. Plus, you definitely aren’t as strict and over-bearing as the old nannies.”
Ellie gave a small smile, “I do my best.”
She suddenly realized how close she was to Jamie. His chest was merely a foot from hers and his lips were only inches away from her own.
He spoke slowly and quietly, though it didn’t seem so quiet without too much other noise to compete with, “I, as I’m sure the children would agree, hope you stay here a long time, Miss Ellie.”
Their closeness caused Ellie’s voice to become breathless “I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon.”
He spoke in a whisper now, “I’m glad.”
Before Ellie knew what was happening, Jamie began to lean in a little further. Ellie panicked, and just before their lips were about to touch, she pulled away.
“I should go now. I’m sorry, but,” her eyes couldn’t meet his and she stuttered, “but I, I need to go.”
“Ellie wait!” Jamie called, but Ellie had already run off.
She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. Jamie’s intentions had been obvious, but Ellie didn’t know whether they had been caused by true affection or if he’d just had a few too many sips of wine. She didn’t know and she didn’t want to think about it anymore. Grabbing Jon’s hand and pulling him away from the snack table, she led him to the dance floor. They danced without words, but Jon knew something was troubling his friend.
Chapter 11 - Loving Father and Son
Later that evening, as Jon and Ellie danced slowly out back in the midnight wind and Matthew and Emily shared yet another dance in one another’s arms, a horribly different atmosphere had begun to set just inside the house.
Upstairs, in one of the Thompson’s many sitting rooms, were Robert Rhodes and his oldest son. Who knows why they decided to come up when the festivities were still occurring? It was a beautiful room though, to be sure, but neither Robert nor Jamie had noticed. A powder blue toile covered the walls and scattered about the room were comfy settees and large armchairs that faced a fireplace filled with flames. The only light in the room came from that fireplace, and it wasn’t much. It created soft shadows behind all the antique candlesticks, picture frames, and vases set around the room, and hid some of the anger shown by the room’s two occupants, but certainly not all of it.
They looked vaguely similar, Robert and Jamie. Everything Robert had once owned himself his son now possessed: dark, almost black hair, sparkling brown eyes, and a bright smile, but now Robert was older, and time had made its mark. His hair had turned gray, his eyes dull, and his smile faded. Wrinkles took over his youthful complexion and weight had suddenly seemed to pile on. Just looking at his eldest son and child made him angry and shameful all at once.
Most parents could find plenty of reasons to be proud of a son like Jamie; he was incredibly intelligent, a polite gentleman for the most part, and an excellent fencer, but to Robert, only the mistakes and faults of his son showed. To Robert, Jamie was a failure at school, never a gentleman, and most of all, a disappointment. The hopes and dreams he once had for his son were erased by what Robert believed was the continual disregard for the honorable course that he had desired for his son. Surely his hopes were gone, but even worse was that he felt dishonored that his son looked so much like him at that age. He was even embarrassed that at social functions and everyday conversations with his colleagues at the hospital, when they’d brag about their sons going off to prestigious universities, acing all their courses, getting job offers everywhere they turned, and following their father’s footsteps, he couldn’t say the same of Jamie.
Now, at this particular moment, Jamie’s future was the topic of great variance and pure animosity.
“What are you going to do now, son? What exactly are you going to do without a diploma?” Robert screamed. Then he laughed madly with fire in his eyes as he said, “No, don’t answer that, for there is no answer. Do you know why? Huh? Do you know why, sonny boy? It’s because without graduating you really can’t get anywhere much in life, can you?”
“You can get plenty far if you have the will to do so,” Jamie replied as calmly as he could, hoping to appease his father’s anger without giving in.
“The will to do so? What will have you got? Clearly, not enough to keep you in a university for long, not enough to control you from being such a smart aleck with your professors, eh boy?”
“If the man teaching me false facts, and is teaching these mistakes to others, have I not the right to correct him?”
“No, you don’t,” Robert shot back, “You don’t because that’s a man that could easily get you thrown out of school for, what, the hundredth time? You never had enough sense in your head to realize that, did you?”
“I always realized it,” Jamie answered, his voice rising, “But I always found that my integrity was important to me.”
“Integrity?” Robert spat, “How can you call that integrity?” he shook his head back and forth and asked again, “What are you going to do now, James?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well as far as I’m concerned, you’ve got three choices: let me try with all the influence I’ve got left to get you back into one of those schools, enlist in the military, or let me disown you and leave me, your mother, and Donners Bend forever. If I had my way, you’d have to choose one of the first two or receive nothing at t’all, but your mother won’t allow it. Louise still believes in you, and you’d better make her proud or be prepared to be abandoned by your own family.”
“And what of the children? What would they say if you told them their big brother has been forgotten and cast out by the family? How do you think they’d take it? You can never disown me. If you do, you are the failure, and not I. For you will be taking away the family of one son and the brother of said family. Both would be affected negatively. The children wouldn’t understand now, but when they’d reached an age of understanding they’d realize how horrid their very own father had been. And maybe then they’d be the ones disowning you. I wouldn’t blame them for doing so. Would you?”
Robert was furious now. He couldn’t bear the idea of his eldest son telling him he was a failure as a father, “When I told them your story, and what a shame you’d cast on our family, they’d understand, and they’d realize I was right.”
“They’d never listen to you! They love me and they believe in my words, not yours. Who’s the one playing pirates with them on sunny days and reading stories to them during the night? Who’s the one playing games with them and letting them use their imagination every chance they get? Surely not you. Isn’t that supposed to be a father’s job, to inspire and support his children? I know you have to work, but that doesn’t mean you can just forget your children because Ellie’s watching over them.”
“If it wasn’t for me they wouldn’t have a roof over their heads nor a cent to their names, and nor would you!”
“I know that, but you’re still their father. Do you remember when I was a boy? The games you used to play with me? We’d have a war in the backyard, or you’d take me to that darn lake for fishing, or you’d teach me to fence. Why haven’t you ever done that with Gracie,
or Leah, Demi, and Wesley? Why not, pops?”
“Enough!” Robert bellowed, “I will not be spoken to with such a lack of respect.”
Jamie, ignoring his father, ran a hand through his hair and whispered to himself, “Someday you shall see, dear father that the man you’d hoped you to be one day is not the man you have recently become.” He rose his voice to an audible volume then, and said briefly in a flat, placid tone, “Good night, father.”
Unbeknownst to either man, two or three of the Thompson’s servants had gathered outside the doorway, listening to the fight. They watched as Jamie left the room and walked back down the stairs, leaving his father to deal with his animosity alone.
The only man of the trio, a butler, gave a small chuckle and said sarcastically, “Never before have I seen such a loving father and son.”
Chapter 12 - Playing Peter Pan
Donners Bend Page 9