by Mary Wood
A moment passed in which Lord Marley’s bloodshot eyes held her gaze. In them she saw a flicker of recognition. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but the sound of clanging bells blotted everything out, and she watched the colour drain from him. He slumped to the floor, a defeated man. It was over . . .
The room filled with men. Handcuffs clicked. Sergeant Jackson came into view. His face drew near to hers, his voice holding concern. ‘Are you all right, Hattie? Is the young ’un all right?’
Her mouth, which had dried with terror, became wet again. She gathered up the saliva and spat it forcefully into his hated face. He didn’t react. His hand wiped away her spittle as he turned away.
15
Broken Lives and Uncertain Futures
‘Megan, you’ve been quiet since you came back from seeing Hattie. Are you sure as there’s nowt wrong?’
‘I can’t tell you of it, Ciss. It isn’t sommat as you’d understand. There’s stuff as goes on you’ve no idea of.’
‘Tell me, then. I’m not a young ’un any more, thou knows.’
Not a young ’un? Oh, if only Cissy knew how young and innocent she was! Megan wished to God she could be like her and not know all that she did.
‘Look, Megan, you’ve to talk to someone, love, because whatever is bothering you is making you ill. You’re not eating nor sleeping proper.’
‘Must you girls talk so much? That gown has to be finished for collection tomorrow and I need you, Miss Tattler, to work on some designs this afternoon. Here, Miss Grantham, a letter arrived for you, but I don’t want you reading it until your break-time.’
‘Yes, Madame Marie.’
Cissy sounded as though she was going to do as she was told and picked up her work again, but the minute Madame’s office door closed she got up, grabbed her letter and went towards the back door, laughing. ‘She can’t stop me going for a pee, and she’ll not lower herself to come out to the closet to see if I’m reading.’
Megan laughed back at her, but once she’d left the room her thoughts returned to Hattie, rekindling the worry she felt for her and the little girl she’d told her about. It had all been set to happen yesterday. She hoped, with everything that was in her, that it had gone well.
‘Megan . . .’ Cissy’s whisper drew her from her thoughts. She looked up. Cissy was red in the face and all of a fluster. ‘It’s me mam. Eeh, Megan, you should see what she’s wrote. I’ll not be able to go home ever again!’
‘What? Is she for taking you on again? You’re easy pickings for her fun-making, Ciss, as you always take her bait.’
‘Not this time. She’s got a lodger and she’s trying to line him up for one of us. Oh, Megan!’
Megan wouldn’t have put anything past Issy, but her amusement at this was tinged with a worry that it might just be true. But, no, it couldn’t be. ‘Come on, it’s snap-time. Let’s go and get a cuppa and I’ll have a read. A lodger! Honest, Ciss, do you really think she’d do that without asking you? If I know owt, she’s been at thinking of ways to make a bit of fun afore we go home. You know what a one she is.’
‘Here.’ Cissy handed her the letter. ‘I’ll make a brew and some toast for us whilst you read it. I tell you, Megan, she’s gone too far this time.’
Megan smiled. She didn’t think Issy knew what ‘too far’ meant. In Issy’s book, if there was a laugh to be had, then that was all right and she could say and do as she liked, though there was never any malice in her and she wouldn’t intentionally upset anyone. She opened the crumpled sheet of paper:
Dear Cissy,
You and Megan must come home as soon as you can. I’ve a young bloke lodging with me. He’s come to take over your dad’s old position as head groom at big house. His name’s Jack Fellam.
I told you of young Mr Harvey copping it, God rest his soul. I knew him from being a babby. Me mam – your granna – brought him into the world. He loved your dad, and used to help him in the stables. His mother, a lovely lass as I used to work for, encouraged him to be normal, like, and let him do the things he enjoyed. He took after her, and his dad as well, in many ways, though I knew stuff about his dad as would make your hair curl – more than it does already, and that’s saying sommat, with how yours and Megan’s does!
Anyroad, to get back to young Mr Harvey getting himself killed. Henry Fairweather’s been saying that, since it happened, Mrs Harvey’s talking of rebuilding the stud, but with Mr Harvey not yet cold as they say, and them not able to lay him to rest proper, no one thought as it would be just yet. But it seems them considerations are not for Madam Posh-Knickers. Anyroad, she’s gone away for a while, sunning herself, but before she went she took on this new man. He and his family live in the gatehouse and he’s running the estate. He’s a nice bloke, been badly injured in the war. He lost half of his right leg, but he gets about right well with some crutches and manages to ride his horse around the estate. It was him as found Jack.
Jack’s been to war an’ all. Him and his dad and brother. But his dad and brother both got killed, so they brought Jack home, but then, with all the heartbreak, his mam didn’t last long and though he had a position he could’ve gone back to, he needed a change. He’s not down about it all – says he’s seen too much for that. That seems a pity, don’t it, Ciss? Young men who can’t feel grief any more?
Don’t worry, though, about me cottage, because I’ve been told as they’ll not be giving Jack tenancy till he marries, so until then, as long as I agree to give him bed and board, I’m safe. Mind, I’m pretty sure as he’ll be snatched up, and soon an’ all. I tell you, our Ciss, if I was just a few years younger, I’d snatch him up meself! He’s a right handsome bloke, and a cheeky bugger to boot. I’ve told him all about pair of you, and he can’t wait to meet you. I’ve told him, though, if he takes a fancy to either of you, he’s not to muck you about, but to make his choice and stick to it. Write back and let me know when you can come.
Love to you both, Mam.
Laughter bubbled up in Megan. Just reading the letter brought Issy’s presence into the room; she wrote just as she spoke, and her fun-making got to you. ‘Eeh, Cissy, it’s right then. She has got a lodger. I wonder where he sleeps, because she doesn’t say he’s got our room.’
‘Mam’ll have put him on the shake-me-down in the parlour, I should think, but how’re we to face him, with what she’s said to him?’
‘I know, and I bet she has said it an’ all. She’d not think on how she might embarrass us. Let’s hope, by the time we go home, he’s forgotten it or he’s so used to Issy by then that he takes it as a joke, eh?’
‘I hope so. Oh, me mam! You’re right when you say she’s a one. Though it sounds interesting, don’t it? I wonder what he’s like and if he will be at taking to one of us.’
Megan couldn’t stand it any longer. It was Sunday, her half-day, and she was going to find Hattie today, even if she had to walk the streets begging for information.
Cissy came over to her. ‘Megan, please tell me what’s to do – please! Whatever it is, I can take it. I know you say as there are things as goes on – things I know nothing of – but how can I know if you don’t tell me? Besides, I reads, thou knows. I’ve a lot of knowledge of how things are in London from Mr Dickens’s books, and I’m for thinking as them sort of things go on in every big city, so Leeds probably isn’t much different. This mate of yours – Hattie – the way you keep her secret, anyone would think she’s a prostitute or sommat!’
Megan felt relief enter her with Cissy’s words. Not at what she’d said, but the matter-of-fact way in which she’d said it. It meant she wouldn’t be shocked if she knew. Nor would she be disgusted, by the sound of her, though she felt a shock of her own. She wasn’t a reader herself, not unless it was the magazines on the latest fashions that Madame bought and let them have when she’d finished with them. Megan couldn’t get enough of them. But Cissy always had her nose in a book. She hadn’t thought, though, that they dealt with such subjects as prostitution. And they’d
been written by a man, too! Still, she’d not comment on it; she was just glad to have a chance to talk about everything, now she knew she could. ‘Aye, she is, but it wasn’t what she wanted to be, nor wants to be. It was circumstances, but she has a chance to get out of it.’ She sat down and, with relief at the unburdening, told Cissy everything. At times during her telling she hesitated, as Cissy paled and shock made her eyes widen and her jaw drop, but always she urged Megan on, insisting that she needed to know it all.
There was a silence when she’d finished, then a stunned whisper. ‘Young ’uns? And . . . and Hattie? Raped? And when she were just thirteen years old? Oh, Megan.’
Her arms opened, and as Megan went into them she thought of how lucky she was to have Ciss and Issy and her job. Poor Hattie. Why had their lives turned out so differently? Cissy drew away from her and held her by the shoulders. ‘What’re you going to do? Are you thinking of trying to find Hattie?’
‘Aye, I have to. I have to know she is all right. That she’s safe.’
‘I’ll come.’
‘No!’
‘Please, Megan, I’d be going out of me mind here. We’ll be safer together. You on your own – well, owt could happen.’
It hadn’t been any use arguing with her. Ten minutes later, Cissy – her face pale, but her lips set with a determination Megan knew well – stood beside her in the hall, pulling on her gloves.
‘Look, I’ve been thinking, Ciss, and I’ve decided I’ll start me search at Hattie’s fella’s place. He might know sommat. After all, he knew what she were about to do. He’d backed her in it, and his solicitor had sorted things with the police.’ She finished buttoning her coat and reached for her own gloves. ‘And I’ve a mind to take a cab to his place, as I only know his address. I’ve been there, but I don’t know as I could find it again. When Hattie took me, we went down ginnals and along back lanes for more than a mile.’
‘A cab! By, that’d be sommat. Do you remember that Sunday we tried to take a ride in one, to the park?’ Cissy went into one of her fits of giggles, but Megan didn’t join in. She knew it wasn’t a proper giggle. It was more of a nervous one, so she thought it better to ignore it and carry on the conversation.
‘Aye, I does. The driver looked down his nose at us and geed his horse up and left us standing on the pavement! Well, that won’t be happening today. We look like two young ladies in our outfits.’
‘That’s thanks to you, Megan. And to Madame, of course, for letting us have them offcuts at a cheap price. I love me coat as you cut for me, and its reet warm an’ all.’
‘And you look lovely in it. Come on, let’s go.’ Her stomach felt ticklish deep down with the nerves, and she felt that if they didn’t get on their way soon, she’d not go through with it.
‘Look, Ciss.’ They were standing at the side of the road, where they were most likely to see a cab pass by. ‘Hattie’s man . . . well, he’s a gentleman, by all accounts. He’s rich, anyroad. He lives in a big house and has a servant.’
‘Eeh, Megan, you didn’t say owt about that!’
‘I know, but that isn’t all. Well, I haven’t seen him, but Hattie said he’s been injured and isn’t good to look on.’
‘Poor fella. What’s going to happen when they all come home – well, them as are coming home. How’s it going to be? Who’s going to look after them all? This fella at me mam’s, he isn’t hurt in his body, but from what me mam says, he must be hurt inside. Things as he must have seen . . .’
‘I know, and they say lassies like us are going to be lucky to get a man, there are so few of them left. It doesn’t bear thinking on. We’ve been fortunate, thou knows. War hasn’t affected us much, and what bit it did were for the better.’
‘Well, I’m glad it’s over. Well, in the main it is. Will it bother you if you don’t get a man, Megan?’
‘Aye. I’ve me heart set on getting married and having young ’uns of me own. I’m not for thinking I’d like to be left on the shelf.’
‘Well, there’s always Bert Armitage. I’m sure he’s took a shine to you.’ Cissy pushed her gently on the shoulder and laughed as she said this. Megan shrugged. Cissy often teased her about Bert, and she did feel an attraction to him. He weren’t bad-looking and he was of strong build, but his surly nature put her off. Still, he’d probably change, and he did seem to like her. He often stood on the corner when they came out of the station at Breckton, where Cissy’s mam lived. But now wasn’t the time for thinking about suitors and, even if it was, she wasn’t sure she would really consider Bert Armitage. It was to do with her dream, really. She didn’t know why, but she felt that Bert wouldn’t want his wife following the path she intended to follow. He seemed a proud man, one who would want to be seen to provide for his family. She allowed herself a moment to wonder about him. Where had he come from, for instance? He’d not been in Breckton long; his arrival came just as the war was starting. Not that that was unusual. Miners were badly needed, and anyone with flat feet or some other condition that rendered them a hindrance were sent to work in the pit or in the factories.
‘Are you on with dreaming about him?’ Cissy giggled again and nudged her.
‘Go on with you!’ She feigned a laugh in response, and then changed the subject. ‘Anyroad, Ciss, you’ll be all right, won’t you? With Hattie’s fella, I mean? You won’t cringe or owt? Hattie says he’s sensitive about it.’
‘Why’re you asking me that? I’ll not like seeing him hurt, but I have more about me than to show it and embarrass him!’
Megan had to smile. Cissy was put out of sorts by her question, but was funny in her indignation, huffing and pulling a face.
Despite the reason for their journey, the girls got into the cab giggling, and held hands as their bodies jolted from side to side as it trundled along. More than once Cissy said, ‘Eeh, Megan . . .’
Megan had no need to ask, ‘What?’ She knew what was causing Cissy an excitement that she couldn’t speak of, because she could feel it herself, though her nerves revisited her when she stood at the huge front door and pulled the bell cord. Harry opened it as if he’d been standing behind it, waiting for her. ‘Miss Megan! By, you’re a good sight. You’re just what Hattie needs. And who’s this, then?’
‘She’s here? Oh, Harry, thank God!’
‘Aye, she is, but she’s not well. She’s been through a lot. She’ll tell you of it. Come in and warm yourself. Let me take your coat.’
After taking her coat, he looked towards Cissy. ‘Miss . . . ?’
‘Cissy. I’m a friend of Megan’s.’
‘Well then, as such you’re very welcome. But not if you stay on the doorstep and let the cold into the house.’
‘Eeh, I’m sorry. I’m just in awe of all this. I haven’t ever been to such a grand place, and now I’m here. I didn’t expect to have someone to take me coat and suchlike.’ Cissy was giggling again, and Megan could see that Harry was captivated. Cissy was playing to his attention. Megan shook her head at her, but had to smile.
‘Right, Megan, you and your friend come along in here and I’ll fetch Hattie.’
Megan didn’t even notice her surroundings this time, but Cissy did, gasping as they entered the room. ‘Oh, it’s beautiful. Look at those chairs! Oh, I daren’t sit down, Megan.’
‘I know. It’s grand, isn’t it?’ Just as she said this, Hattie entered the room. A pain clutched at her heart as she took in the gaunt appearance of her beloved friend. ‘Hattie, what happened? Your shoulder! You’ve been injured again. Oh, but thank God you’re safe!’
‘Aye, safe, but not sound. Oh, Megan.’
‘What is it, Hattie? Is the little ’un all right? Is she safe?’
‘She’s safe, poor thing, but what she’s been through . . .’
Megan helped Hattie to a chair. They listened as she told them what had happened, though it was plain to Megan that Hattie wasn’t telling all. Even so, her anguish at what she did speak of filled the room. ‘I shouldn’t have done it, Megan. An
d Sue, Sally’s mam, she’s so ill. She’s not going to live. She’s upstairs. Her other one – Janey. They found . . . they found her body.’
The silent tears falling down Hattie’s face spoke of her distress. Megan sat on the arm of the chair and took her in her arms and held her, trying not to hurt her. She didn’t know what to say. She had so many questions, but her throat had dried out on her, rendering her speechless, and her heart felt so heavy to see Hattie in this state. It was not what she ever thought she’d see. It was as if Hattie was broken, her spirit gone. ‘Hattie, you can get through this, you can. Me and Ciss’ll help you.’
‘Hattie, I’m Cissy. I’m Megan’s mate, and I’m for being yours if you’ll have me and, like Megan says, we’ll help you.’
As she heard this, Megan felt a love for Cissy that was more than she’d ever felt before. Ciss was able to see past the horror of the tale, and her only thought was for Hattie’s welfare.
‘I’m pleased to meet you, Cissy. I’ve known of you a good while, and I’ve not forgot how kind you were in lending me that half-crown when I most needed it. I’ve got it for you. It’s been kept separate from everything, and I’ve added some to it for you.’
Cissy tutted. ‘You daft thing! I’ve been at worrying over that, thou knows!’
They all giggled at this, and it felt good. Megan took her hanky and wiped Hattie’s face. ‘See, I told you she were a one. Mind, she’s nothing to what her mam’s like.’
Hattie’s laughter hadn’t reached her eyes. She leaned her head on Megan’s shoulder. ‘It’s been a bad time, Megan. I’ve felt heavy with grief and guilt. After all, some of me motive in doing it all were to get meself out of the way me life were. And for that I put little Sally in danger, and dragged Susan down so far in her spirits that she can’t rise up again. Oh, Megan, I’m so ashamed.’