by Mary Wood
‘I haven’t heard meself invite her anywhere as yet.’
‘You needn’t be like that, Bert Armitage. I know as you haven’t been waiting for me, even though I did ask you to give me some time.’
‘Well, what did you expect? You weren’t at encouraging me, were you?’
‘Will you walk with me to the beck then? I’d like to talk to you.’
‘I don’t see as I can refuse, not when I’m being asked by such a pretty lass.’
Despite the grin that spread across his face as he said this, Megan felt hot with embarrassment, and Cissy’s giggling didn’t help matters.
‘Well, here we are again. Though it seems as boot’s on other foot, and you’ve to do the asking this time, Megan.’
‘Aye, I know.’ She’d waste no time. She’d no choice, she knew that. She deserved the humiliation she felt. ‘I – I were wondering if your offer to take me on were still open? I have to be truthful and tell you as sommat happened as I didn’t expect and it’s helped me to make me mind up to come to you.’
‘What’s that, then? Are you saying as you don’t come willing, like?’
‘No, I’m not saying that, Bert. It’s that I were helped in me decision. Me livelihood’s gone and . . .’
His silence after she’d finished telling him had her holding her breath.
‘But you were leaning towards coming anyroad, you say? And it isn’t as I’m your last hope, is it?’
‘No, you’re not. I’ve a plan of what I’m to do, if you’ll not take me on, and I know as you’ve other choices in the offing. It’s up to you.’
‘Come here.’
He reached out to her and pulled her close to him. ‘Course I’m for taking you on. Lillian’s nowt to me. I were just not for having no one and chancing losing me cottage.’
He held her close. It felt good. Megan tried to take something from his strength in order to banish the feeling of dread inside her. She was to make the best of this, because despite her words about going into the mill, it wasn’t really an option. She would find it difficult to pay lodgings out of the meagre wages she knew the mill workers were paid.
When Bert’s lips pressed against her own, she didn’t let it be just him who was doing the kissing. And as feelings woke inside her, she allowed them to flourish and didn’t stop him from gently caressing her breast. She wanted to know what longing felt like – wanted to be sure he could rouse in her the sensations she had experienced with him before, as she was sure that would help her in her mission to be a good wife. And he did. She was near to begging him to take her down, before she eventually gathered all that was in her and pulled away.
‘Christ, you’re being a tease! Well, you bloody well needn’t think as I’ll take them games when we’re wed.’
‘I’m not playing games! I . . . wanted to. It’s just – I want to be wed first.’
‘Well, I’m not bloody going to say as I’m sorry for me actions. You were to blame just as much as me.’
Though his reaction wasn’t what she’d anticipated, and his quick temper was frightening, she understood. She knew she hadn’t been fair to him.
‘And I’ll tell thee sommat else while I’m at it. I’m not for waiting no time to be wed.’
‘I know, Bert, and I want to be wed as soon as it’s possible. I’m sorry. I’ve no experience of it all. I were letting me feelings carry me, but then I suddenly realized what I were doing.’
He shuffled the dirt around with his feet. It seemed an age before he spoke. ‘Aye, well, I s’pose as it goes good for us. At least I know as you have feelings for me, and you weren’t just for taking me on because you’ve no other choices. Let’s talk about the arrangements, eh?’
They sat down on the grass. Relief filled Megan. It seemed Bert could emerge from his temper as quickly as he could slip into it. Her body hadn’t truly let go of how she’d felt. She still had an urge to take Bert to her. She had a need in her, not just to do it, but to know if what Hattie had said about it would happen for her and Bert. Though she had to admit to herself that, above all of this, she needed to know if it would be enough to stop the longing and the pain inside of her, at the thought of Ciss and Jack together . . .
‘We can arrange it all in three weeks, thou knows. I were asking Father O’Malley about it afore I brought you up here last time.’
For a moment she was unsure what Bert meant. His words didn’t seem to match her thoughts or what she was feeling.
‘The wedding, Megan.’
‘Oh! Sorry. I were daydreaming.’
‘Aye, well. I know, lass. But we’ve to sort things out. I have to put in for me cottage proper, to make sure on it.’
‘Three weeks – is that all it takes? Well then, let’s do what we have to. There won’t be a problem with you getting the cottage, will there?’
‘No, it’s mine for the asking. Only thing is, I have to have a wife or be getting married. I’ve been on with getting it all cleaned out. Well, best as I can. And I’ve the two bedrooms whitewashed . . .’
‘You took on what I said, then?’
‘Aye, I did, even though I weren’t sure of you. Mind, I’m not for doing women’s work. I’ve only shifted stuff out as were of no use. As I see it, I’ll do the distempering, but any cleaning is down to you.’
His mood had changed again, and she felt a dread. But she’d to get on with it – if she was to take him on, she had to take this side of him, too. ‘How about I stay in the cottage until we’re wed? I’ve nowhere to go after next Friday. I mean, if you could move out for a couple of weeks and stay at a mate’s or suchlike.’
‘That’s a good idea, love. I’ll soon find a place to kip, or I could take a room at the pub. And as you’ll be at home all day, you can really get things sorted.’
‘We’ve to post banns an’ all. What about we do that on Sunday? We’d have to attend mass, and it’s likely Father O’Malley’ll need us to go for some lessons.’
‘Lessons! What’s he going to be on with teaching us? I reckon as we could teach him a thing or two, even afore we’re wed! Ha, that’s a turn-up. Lessons, from a Catholic priest!’
Megan had to laugh with him. It did sound funny. ‘I think it’s on the religious side of stuff. Cissy said as he talks about the sanctity of marriage and bringing young ’uns up in the Church. It’s got to be done or he’ll not marry us.’
‘Aye, all right. I’ll go along with owt as long as it gets us settled. Come on. Let’s get ourselves away, afore I start in on you again.’
He stood and offered her his hand. She took it and he helped her up. For a moment Bert looked like he would be for starting in on her, as he put it, but she didn’t dare visit the feelings again, so she made a joke in an attempt to deter him. ‘You needn’t look like that, Bert Armitage! You’ve three weeks to wait, so from now on until we’re wed, no more meetings without Father O’Malley being present to bless us.’
Bert put his head back and laughed out loud. It sounded good, and she couldn’t help but join him. She felt a happiness swell up inside her, where before there had been a dread. Things would work out. She was sure of it.
20
A Change in Fortunes
Hattie sat up in bed.
‘What is it, my dear? You often look so sad. Is it me?’
‘No, Arthur, no. You couldn’t make me unhappy. It’s . . . well, I’m worried about me lassies. It isn’t working out as yet, and they’re not getting enough to line their pockets. Some of them are getting grumpy about tipping up me due, and others are not making enough to tip up anything. I’m at digging into me standby money to keep them in food and pay me bills.’
‘Well, it will take time to get known. It’s not as if you can advertise. I hadn’t thought you were struggling. You haven’t said anything before.’
‘I know, but I didn’t want you to worry. And besides, you weren’t for me taking on this business, even though you helped me to get it.’
‘That wouldn’t stop me helping y
ou again.’ He hauled himself up to a sitting position, and his sigh told her he’d other things on his mind besides talking. ‘Yes. I do hate the thought of you having to be involved in a business such as you have. I worry. I am concerned, as it isn’t legal to do what you are doing. Oh, I know the girls would do it anyway, and you are providing a safe place and caring for them, and I strongly believe it can be a necessary service. No one knows that better than I do – did – but I’m surprised that after being up and running for eighteen months, you’re still not breaking even.’
‘It’s like you say. I can’t advertise. Some of the lassies have kept in contact with old customers, and they’re visiting, and I’d hoped as word would spread that way. And it is, but not enough. Mind, I’ve been at vetting all the customers first. I’ll not have some of the bast— I mean blokes in the house, as used to use the services of the girls.’
‘Look. I’ll go round to my club tonight and drop the word in an ear or two. It might help. There are a few members saying they are missing out. Most upper-class wives are of the “lie back and think of England” type, which must be less than satisfying after a while. Only the other day I heard a remark on how the street girls were missed, since the Lord Marley busi— Oh! I’m sorry, my dear. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.’
‘It’s all right. I know as it’s still talked of. Besides, if they’re at talking because there’s nothing available on the streets, then it shows as there are customers looking. Though I don’t want the Lord Marley type. Anyroad, would you try that for me, eh? I mean, don’t embarrass yourself, but . . .’
‘Oh, don’t worry. I’d only have to mention it to one chap I know and word will get round to the right ears in no time. But I shouldn’t have mentioned – well, you know.’
‘It’s all right, honestly. It’s funny, but it don’t bother me so much now. In fact I’ve hardly thought on it since the executions. The day Blackstaff, Wally and Doug hanged seemed to bring an end to it. And with Doreen serving a long sentence and Lord Marley rotting in his grave, I feel free of it all. I never stop thinking of Sally, of course, and it all comes back when me hands are paining me, but . . .’
‘I know, my darling, though sometimes it doesn’t feel as though justice was done on account of David – Lord Marley. Him keeling over like he did seemed to let him off the hook. And you, my poor darling, left with the legacy of your painful hands.’ Arthur took the hand nearest to him and gently kissed it, letting his lips travel up her arm. It felt good. He was the only person she’d let see her scars laid bare. He understood how she felt about the ugliness of the gnarled fingers and the red-raw, stretched skin on her arms. When his lips reached her shoulder, he kissed her scar there as he turned his body and pulled her into his arms. ‘Hattie . . . Hattie . . .’
His lips – his perfect, firm lips – were on hers, and she tasted the sweetness of him as his tongue explored her mouth and she sucked gently on it. She had a need in her to talk, to tell him her worries, her fears for Megan and her longing to know if Sally was being cared for. It wasn’t with an easy will that she lay down beside him. Arthur set about changing that, as if he’d a notion that he’d to fight for her attention. His touch was light and caring, and helped her to come to a quiet place, where her love for him was all that mattered for the moment. Her body and mind relaxed and then filled with an intense desire. She let her kisses tell him he could come into her.
Helping him to do so was something she’d perfected, to make it a pleasure for him rather than a struggle, and to enhance her own enjoyment. Once achieved, he found the strength he needed to thrust into her body with a deep, pleasurable intensity that brought them both to a release.
Lying in his arms afterwards, she felt safe and would have chosen to lie there forever if she could, but Arthur wasn’t for lazing about. After kissing and thanking her, he moved his arm from around her. ‘Well, my dear. I’d better make a move. You know how long it takes me to get ready.’
‘I’ll help you. I don’t want you to be calling Harry in – it spoils it for me. Brings it to an end and puts me back in your world. I want us to be staying in our world.’
‘You are funny sometimes, Hattie. All right, you go and run my bath whilst I get myself out of this bed. And, Hattie, you won’t go home, will you? Not tonight. I’ll give Harry an early night and we can have some supper when I get back. What do you think?’
‘Aye, I’ll stay, love, and be glad to. I’ve things as I need to talk of. Nowt as you can do anything about. Just me concerns. And I’ll cook supper. I’ve never cooked for you afore, have I? Will Cook be gone an’ all?’
‘Yes. I’ll send them all to their rooms with strict instructions not to come out until further notice.’
‘Oh, poor things. They’ll be on with starving afore I’ve finished with you!’ This set them giggling, and even more so when Arthur swung himself over the edge and made as if to chase her, forgetting his crutches and falling straight back on the bed.
Making her way home two days later, Hattie felt better and more settled in herself. They had made love so many times they were both exhausted, and when they weren’t making love they’d talked through her worries. He’d said the club had been buzzing with the news of her facilities, and he’d every confidence she’d see a difference and her business would pick up soon. This hadn’t stood well with the way Arthur had tried to persuade her to give the business up, or at least let one of the girls run it. He’d told her he wanted to set her up in a place of her own, where he could look after her and visit her freely. He no longer pressed her to move in with him – he’d accepted that that arrangement wouldn’t suit her.
She’d told him she’d think about it, but if she did accept, it wouldn’t be for a long time in the future. She had to be sure of making her money first. She never wanted to be in the position of not having any choices, not ever again. And if I had owt to do with it, I’d be a woman of means as could take care of myself afore I went to Arthur proper. Or to any man for that matter . . .
When they’d discussed Megan, Arthur had said he was sure Megan was capable of making a sensible decision. He reckoned she had a good head on her shoulders. He was right in that, but he had no notion of what it meant to a lass to think of herself as being left on the shelf and how it frightened lassies like Megan, sometimes influencing them into making the wrong choice. Hattie didn’t know why, but something told her that marrying this Bert Armitage wasn’t going to be good for Megan, even though she’d never met him herself.
As for her worries over Sally, he’d said it was better that she didn’t interfere, and should let her settle with her new family. He thought it possible Sally had already forgotten them all and what had happened to her, but that wasn’t what Hattie had wanted him to say. She’d been hoping he’d make enquiries as to how Sally was. Her love for the little lass was so strong that it felt as though a pain was gnawing away at her heart, but although she’d thought to go and see her on many occasions, she’d never got further than within a half-mile of the shop. Fear had always stopped her – fear of upsetting Sally or awakening bad memories. And, yes, fear of fully opening up wounds hidden in places within herself that she didn’t want to visit.
Silence greeted her when she opened the door of her house. ‘Daisy! Phyllis! Where are you?’ Lazy bitches! I’m at making things too easy round here. ‘Dais—’
‘What’s all the shouting? Eeh, Hattie lass, you’re in a mood. What’s up?’
‘Up? It’s gone twelve and this place looks like it hasn’t seen a duster in days. You know as you’re all to muck in. I especially rely on you, Daisy, when I take a couple of days away. And yet I come back to find this mess and you still in your robe. It isn’t right. It isn’t what we agreed.’
‘Sorry, love, we were busy till late. It seems as word has got round we’re here. Last night we had a crowd from that gentlemen’s club, that one around the corner. I tell you, lass, they were all top-drawer. And they all went away pleased. I reckon as some of them’ll
become regulars.’
‘Aye, well, that’s good.’ She didn’t tell her it was down to Arthur’s help. ‘But thou knows how I’ve been worried of late as to whether I’d done the right thing? It’s been a while taking off, and one good night don’t make a good business! Besides, if we let standards slip we’ll not keep good customers. Now, get the windows open. It smells like a brothel!’
A howl of laughter broke the moment’s silence that had fallen at her words. Bemused, Hattie looked at Daisy, but then it dawned on her what she’d said and she joined in the laughter. As they quietened down again, Hattie slumped into the nearest chair. ‘Oh, Daisy love.’
‘Is owt wrong, lass?’
‘No. Well, nowt as we can have any bearing on.’ She stood up again. ‘Get Phyllis up and tell her to get the rest of them roused and start cleaning up. Tell her I want every room in the house shining and clean afore I walk round on opening time. You leave them to it and come to me room, once you’ve got them organized. I’ll make us a brew. I need to talk to you about Megan. I’m reet worried over her.’
The whistling of the kettle on the hot plate filled the room as Megan entered with Daisy. Hattie had her back to them, and Daisy winked at Megan. ‘I’ve someone here with me, Hattie. She were knocking at front door as I came across the passage.’
Hattie turned. Her surprised look turned to a grin, and Megan felt the warmth of her welcome. ‘Megan! Eeh, it’s good to see you. I’ve been on with worrying over you. And me and Daisy had fixed up a mo to chat over me worries, and now you’re here. It’s as if I’ve conjured you up. What’s to do? I thought as you’d be gone back to Breckton by now for Cissy’s wedding. Are you all right, love?’
Hattie had released Megan from her hug and stood back, looking at her. ‘I’ve lost me job, Hattie, and with it me choices. Me and Ciss are catching train to Breckton later today. I’m going to marry Bert.’
‘Lost your job! Sit down, love. Daisy, pour tea out, there’s a good ’un. Tell us what’s been happening, Megan.’