by Mary Wood
When he released her, he looked out over the sea and on a deep sigh said, ‘By, I feel so happy.’ He hugged Laura to him, and then his voice changed and took on a wistful note. ‘You know, I’d love to bring me family here. They’d love it. I can just see ma-in-law wobbling along on the sand, going for a paddle with her stockings in her hand.’
Laura took this chance to release herself from his arms. She could no longer ignore her embarrassment, and that of onlookers. To prevent Jack from noticing, she asked quickly, ‘How is Mrs Grantham keeping? Is she well? I’ve never forgotten her husband. He was a good horseman.’
‘Oh, aye, nothing ails Ma, but she still misses her old man. She gets on with things, though I think she’s finding it hard to take care of little Bella. She’s on two years old now, is Bella. She can be a handful at times. Mind, me little Sarah helps. She adores Bella, and she’s a sensible head on her, has Sarah. Sometimes it’s hard to remember she’s only just on ten years herself.’
Jack had taken Laura’s hand and they were walking back towards the car.
‘And then there’s Megan. Ma’ll miss Megan. She’s a grand lass, and for all as she goes through and all the hard work she does, she always finds time to help Ma with Bella. And, well, she’s a big help to me an’ all.’
A small twinge of worry shot through Laura. Jack talked of this Megan woman with great affection. Even . . . no! She hadn’t let herself think there could be another woman in his life.
‘Megan? I haven’t heard of a Megan before. Is she a relative?’
Listening to Jack telling of Megan and her life, and of the beatings she took from her husband, deepened the worry she’d felt. His passion when he spoke made it obvious that he had deep feelings for this woman, even if he didn’t realize it.
‘If I could do owt about how Bert beats her, I would. In fact I’d gladly swing for the crime of killing him. And if I ever did interfere, that’s what I’d have to do: kill him. Because just giving him a hiding would only make things worse for Megan.’
‘You said that your mother-in-law is going to miss this Megan. Does that mean she’s planning to leave?’
‘Aye, she is.’
Hearing how Megan had worked hard to earn enough money to better her life made Laura feel desolate. Jack loved this woman – it was clear from the way he spoke of her – and the knowledge of it was breaking her heart. Jack was hers! She’d longed to have him for so many years. Well, one thing she did know: now that she had him, no one was going to take him from her. No one!
‘So she is actually going to leave her husband? Surely she realizes that such an action will make her an outcast? I mean, even amongst the lower classes there is a certain code of honour and a sense of right and wrong. I can’t imagine that breaking marriage vows and taking a child away from its father is looked upon in a very good light. She will have to resign herself to being on her own for the rest of her life, unless this – whatever his name is – gives her a divorce. But really, I can’t see it. These things are expensive, and very hard to come by.’
‘His name’s Bert Armitage. He works for you down your mine and has done for some fifteen years or more. And you’re right: us lower classes do have a code of honour and a sense of right and wrong.’
‘I didn’t mean . . . Oh, Jack, I’m sorry. I was just thinking of – well, you wouldn’t want a friend, especially a close friend, to suffer the stigma that Megan is certainly going to suffer. Not to mention her son.’
‘No, and she’s thought on that. She’s going to pass herself off as a widow. Lad’ll go along with it. He suffers a lot at his dad’s hand, so is looking forward to getting out of it. That’s why he’s kept quiet over what his mam’s up to.’
‘Well, I hope it goes well for her. Anyway, that’s enough talk of Breckton and the goings-on there. Shall we have our picnic? I’m suddenly feeling really hungry.’
‘Aye, here’s as good a place as any. I’ll nip over to the car and bring the baskets and the blankets over.’
There was a note of discord between them, and Laura was cross with herself for highlighting the fact that they were from different classes. She was troubled, too, because it occurred to her that when the woman had left, Jack might – in the missing of her – realize his true feelings for her. And, worst of all, the way would be clear for him! Oh God, she couldn’t bear it! She wasn’t going to let that happen.
Laura woke first and lay looking at Jack. Images from the night before flashed into her mind, and her body tingled with thrills at the memory. They had made love three times during the night. He’d completely sated her.
Scrunching up into a satisfied ball of pleasure, she pondered how different things would be, if only Jack was of her own class. They could be more open with their relationship, go out socially together and there would be opportunities to stay in hotels without causing a stir. Or even marry!
But all that was impossible. Just one night away with him, trying to live as equals, had shown her that the social gulf between them was unbridgeable. Knowing this didn’t lessen her need of him or . . . or her love for him – because she knew beyond any doubt that she did love Jack, and always would.
The thought brought with it a fear: what of that woman?
She had to do something. Jack had said Megan’s husband worked down the mine and that he beat her, sometimes near to death. A feeling of jealous rage snaked around inside her as she thought that if the husband didn’t ‘near kill her’, as Jack had put it, then she would! Well, that wouldn’t be possible, but she’d have to think of a plan that would get rid of this Megan woman and at the same time scupper her idea of setting up on her own, because, to ensure that Jack would never stand a chance with Megan, Laura needed her to stay with her husband.
There was only one way. She’d have to sack Armitage and evict them from the cottage – that way the woman would find it almost impossible to get away from her husband. And to make sure, she’d see to it that Armitage knew of his wife’s plans and the fact that she had money. Yes, that was what she must do, and the timing was perfect. With plans already in hand to cut the workforce, Armitage would just be one of many she’d be getting rid of. It would have to be soon, as didn’t Jack say there was someone helping Megan – a partner of sorts – who was already looking for a place for her? One had to admire someone of the lower classes, especially a female, putting into action such an elaborate plan, and about to actually pull it off! Well, almost pull it off. A part of her felt sorry for her rival, with the plans that she’d been dreaming of for so many years so nearly in her grasp. Ha, she didn’t think so!
The thought of the battle ahead gave Laura pleasure. She turned over to face Jack. Brushing her naked body against his had the desired effect. He opened his eyes.
For a moment Jack felt disorientated, but, as memory flooded in, a little smile curled his lips. Laura raised herself onto one elbow and looked down at him. Her hair tumbled over his face, and as she put her hand up to sweep it back, her nipple brushed his lips. He kissed it gently. ‘By, that’s a nice way to be woken up.’ He put his arms around her, eased her down by his side and rolled over, so that he was looking down on her. His throat felt dry. His body reacted to the feel of her. He’d thought he’d not be ready to take a woman to him again for days, so it surprised him to find that he was in fact ready. He pushed his hardness against her soft skin. ‘I’ve a feeling on me again, lass. I . . .’
‘Kiss me, Jack, kiss me.’
The kiss didn’t end before he’d entered her, and her pleasure filled his being. She was receptive and yet surprisingly demanding. He hadn’t expected this, after he’d sated her beyond anything he’d known the night before, but he wasn’t for arguing. He allowed her to roll him over and take all she wanted from him. He lay back, soaking up the intense thrills she gave him, until her moans turned to hollers, her body stiffened on his and the pulsating deep inside her told him she was done. He knew then the ecstasy of taking from a willing and satisfied woman. He’d no need to thin
k of her needs, or how to pleasure her. His mind could wander. She could be who he wanted her to be. Megan . . . Oh, Megan. His pleasure intensified with the thought, and the fantasy engulfed his senses as he thrust into Laura, gently at first and then harder and harder. Oh God! Oh God!
The release brought feelings that racked his body and took all control from him. It took all his effort to keep from calling out to Megan. When it was over, he slumped down on Laura, exhausted.
They lay facing each other. An unease crept into Jack and guilt plagued him. He wasn’t sure if it was because he’d used Laura or because he’d thought of Megan in that way, but it wasn’t a comfortable feeling. Suddenly he felt at odds with himself, with what he was doing and with his surroundings.
This grand bedroom was larger than all the rooms in his cottage put together. Even the softness of the sheets, which had added to his excitement when he’d first got between them last night, now felt strange.
He wondered how it could all have seemed right to him yesterday. He had excused himself with the thought that he was hurting no one, but now he wasn’t sure. Laura talked as if they had a future together, and it frightened him. He wished she would see it all like he did. How could it be any different? They were two people who had a need in them and an attraction for each other. Nothing more. There could be nothing more. Their lives were worlds apart.
‘What’s wrong, Jack? You look worried. I hate that look you sometimes have on your face. I can’t make up my mind if it’s regret, or if I’m just the wrong woman.’
‘There’s no look, lass. I’m still trying to get used to the situation, that’s all. Me having an affair with me boss don’t always sit easy. But we’re not hurting anyone, are we? We’re free to do as we like, and any one of us can stop it when we want to, can’t we?’
Laura looked dismayed, and he felt a sorrow creep over him. He had to lighten the moment, bring in some fun and make an excuse to get away from her for a while, so he could gather himself together. ‘Anyroad,’ he sat up and playfully grabbed her pillow from under her and put it over her face, ‘I’ve another need on me just now. And it’s not the same as the one as I’ve just had on me. It’s for a nice pot of tea!’ Laura pushed the pillow away in an agitated manner, a look of fear clouding her face. His fun-making hadn’t seemed to work. He tried a cheeky grin before getting off the bed. Her expression changed, but not so that she was showing less worry. Her eyes travelled over his body. They’d been naked with each other all of the times they’d been together, but she hadn’t actually looked at him – not the way she was doing now. He twirled around. ‘Like what you see, eh?’
The smile crept back over her face at last. ‘Jack Fellam, you take my womanly pleasures from me, and then all you can say is that you need a pot of tea! But I can forgive you, as you are so beautiful to look at.’
He laughed at her. ‘So you didn’t have any of me manly pleasures, then? By, you’re a hard woman to please!’
Laura didn’t answer him, but as he left the room he saw her lean over and take a cigarette from her packet on the side of the bed – the ‘no smoking’ rule hadn’t lasted, then. He was glad of that, as there was nothing more he wanted at this moment than a smoke. Maybe it would ease the unsettled feeling inside him.
The sound of her coughing followed him along the corridor to the bathroom. Hesitating, he nearly turned back, but the hacking stopped. Why she didn’t have the tests that Dr Cragshaw wanted her to have was beyond him. That cough was more than an infection.
As if he’d been doing it all his life, he ran a hot bath for himself. This so-called ‘cottage’ was like a palace to him. No tin bath to haul in and fill with buckets. By, this is the life!
Refreshed as never before, he made his way to the kitchen. He knew where everything was, as he’d made Laura supper the night before. Having heard her go into the bathroom and start running a bath for herself, he knew he had a few minutes now, so he poured himself a mug of tea and sat on the wooden armchair next to the grate. His mind was still troubled over what had visited him whilst he was making love to Laura. He had to pull himself up; thinking of Megan in that way wasn’t any good. God knows what she’d think, if she knew. By, if he knew anything, she’d laugh at him and tell him not to be so daft.
When he returned to the bedroom, he found Laura sitting up in bed, her complexion rosy from the hot water. He avoided her eyes. ‘I just missed the daily help. She was opening back door as I scurried out of the kitchen.’
‘I wondered what you were laughing at. Oh! Have you poured my tea?’
‘Aye, is owt wrong?’
‘No, no. Well, I’m not used to having it poured for me, and I’m used to having a tray. Oh, never mind.’
He ignored this. A lot of her ways were different from his, and it wouldn’t hurt for her to keep being reminded of them. He hoped it would bring their situation into perspective for her. Aye, he knew she was used to a tray with a silver pot of tea and a jug of hot water and another of milk, as well as slices of lemon and cubed sugar. He’d seen it all prepared in the kitchen back at the big house, but he was used to a mug of tea and he wasn’t about to change his ways. ‘Well, I’d better hop on up to the attic-room, where I’m supposed to be sleeping, and make the bed look as if I did,’ he told her, then left her to the irritation she showed at his service.
A short time later he was sitting in the kitchen with Janet, as the daily had told him to call her, enjoying the hot breakfast she had cooked for him. She had already served Laura in the dining room and was having a cuppa before cleaning upstairs.
Making small talk, Jack asked her, ‘Do you have far to come?’
‘No. I just live t’other side of park. If yer get some time to yerself, yer want to walk round Peasholm Park. It’s grand—’ The sound of the front doorbell interrupted her and she got stiffly to her feet. ‘There must be some rain in the air. Me rheumatics are giving me gyp the day.’
She was back in no time.
‘It were a telegram for Mrs Harvey. I wonder what’s up?’
The muscles in Jack’s stomach clenched. A telegram meant urgency. He waited, his nerves on edge. A sixth sense told him the telegram concerned him.
The sound of the bell summoning Janet had her getting to her feet, but he stayed her. ‘I’ll go. Whatever it is, she’ll more than likely need you to fetch me anyway.’
‘Jack, I . . . I’m sorry.’ Laura’s hand shook as she held the telegram out to him.
The edgy nerves gripped him harder. His eyes read the words. His body trembled, disbelief forcing him to read the telegram again. The brutal truth of it sank in. Bella, his little Bella. ‘Aw, no. No! No . . .’ He sank down into the nearest chair.
Laura knelt down in front of him and clasped his hands in hers. ‘Oh, Jack. Jack.’
He wouldn’t take hold of her hands and clamped his own together inside hers. The deep anger and hurt in his eyes caused her to look away from him. He couldn’t blink. She flinched under his gaze as she tried to comfort him again, then she rose and went round behind him. Her arms enveloped him and she tried to cradle him to her, but he didn’t want this. He heard a moan – a moan that came from deep within him. Pain trembled through him. He felt her kiss the top of his head and smooth his brow with her hand.
‘No!’ His body swayed away from her, bringing him to his feet. ‘How could it happen? A mineshaft! I thought as they were all covered.’
‘It must be one of the old ventilation shafts. A closed seam. Probably from before I took over, but what would she be doing near one? Did she play that far from home? Oh, I wish to God that Charles had put a telephone in this place, so we could find out more!’
‘She must’ve gone with Sarah and Billy to the beck. It says a boy tried to get to her, but a seam collapsed and he was hurt. It doesn’t give his name, but if it is Billy, then Megan . . . Poor Megan.’ He looked at the telegram again, thinking he might have missed something about Sarah, but no – she must be safe. But how was she to cope with this? T
here was only one thing he needed to do: he must get back to her. Guilt flooded into him. He’d left his family unprotected, for the needs of his own body.
‘Jack?’
Hate welled up in him. It was the same burning feeling he’d felt a few moments ago. He watched Laura recoil again, and it seemed right that she should, because the hatred he held in him came from blame. It was Laura’s mineshaft that Bella had fallen down, and it was Laura who was responsible for the safety of the closed seams. And it was the pleasures of her body that had kept him from his family. Aye, and he hadn’t had to ask for them, either! She’d given them to him on a plate.
Turning away, he went out into the hall, took the stairs two at a time and made his way to the attic. It only took a minute for him to gather his things together, but in that time he saw the unjustness of his thoughts and sank down onto the bed.
Laura entered. ‘Jack. Please. I . . .’
‘It’s all right, lass. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have looked at you like that. It’s not your doing.’
When she came to him, he opened his arms and took comfort from her. She was just a lonely lass and he’d taken advantage of the fact that she was attracted to him. He knew now the blame was solely his own. The warmth of her embrace helped to ward off the cold that had clutched at his heart. ‘I’ll have to go home, and I need to go this minute.’
‘Yes, of course, darling.’
The endearment brought him renewed guilt, reminding him that she was getting in too deep. He couldn’t cope. It wasn’t her he needed – it was Megan. He let go of Laura and sat down heavily on the side of the bed. All of a sudden he felt as if someone had turned a light on inside him. In his mind it had been Megan he’d made love to last night. He could admit it now and feel no guilt. The love that had flowed through his veins had been for Megan, and his need at this moment told him the truth of it. He loved Megan. He loved her so much it hurt. He wished to God it was her by his side.
Laura sat down beside him. He saw a desperation in her, but she didn’t question him. Instead she went into all the practicalities that he couldn’t yet allow his mind to think of. ‘You get yourself home right away. I’ll be fine, and if things haven’t settled down for you by the time you are to fetch me home in a fortnight, just get Hamilton to telephone Lord Crompton and inform him.’ Her voice droned on in his ears, an intrusion on his feelings. It confused him. He wanted to be away from her. He wanted to be with his little Sarah and his ma-in-law, and he had a desperate need to be with Megan. He wanted to hold them all, say how sorry he was, and tell them of his love and how he’d never leave them alone again. An urgency in Laura’s voice penetrated his confusion. ‘Listen, Jack, I know you don’t want to think of these things now, but when your head clears and you are faced with them, you’ll need to know what I want you to do.’