by Mary Wood
‘What!’
‘I’m not here to judge one way or the other, but from what I have heard, you were very insensitive to Laura’s feelings. If you knew as she’d fallen for you, you should’ve been more of a gentleman in how you let her down. And you weren’t being fair on Megan, either. Well, I needn’t say any more. The price has been paid, as I see it, and now we’ve to deal with the mess that has been caused.’
Jack couldn’t speak. The guilt hit him like a punch in the stomach. The doctor was right. He did know Laura was getting in deep. He should have talked to her, written to her – warned her where his true feelings lay. God, he was guilty! He was as guilty of Bert’s murder as he would have been if he’d rained the blows on Bert’s head himself.
‘Well, as I see it, Jack, you’re getting a bit of luck. Lord and Lady Crompton are anxious that Laura isn’t caused any more harm. She is quite ill. The shock of what her actions led to – and especially what has happened to you – has caused her to collapse. It is confirmed that she has TB of the lung. She is going to Switzerland, where she will have the best chance of getting better, though in my opinion her chances are very slim. Lord Crompton has asked me to speak to you. He wants to keep Laura’s name out of all this. He has asked if you will allow them to pay for a very good lawyer to act on your behalf.’
Jack stiffened. Laura had done what she’d done because she was a woman crossed. Aye, he’d played his part, but the part he’d played hadn’t deserved all this. Not for Megan, it hadn’t.
‘Jack, if you’re thinking of refusing, think on. You need help.’
‘But how can anybody defend me? All the evidence is against me.’
‘Are you saying as you did it?’
‘No! No, I’m not. But who’s going to believe me? I’ve had it, Doctor. I’m going to hang . . .’
‘You mustn’t think like that. Listen, Jack, a good lawyer will help. He might even be able to get the murder charge dropped and one of manslaughter put in its place. You’d only be facing around five years in prison then. Be sensible, man, and take the Cromptons’ offer. All they’re asking is that Laura’s name, and her affair with you, is kept out of it all.’
‘And you think that’s right!’
‘No, I don’t, as it happens, but if it can keep you from being hanged, then I’d go for it. I’d see it as right in them circumstances. Look, dragging it all out can only make things worse for you. Think about it. Think how it makes you look. Having an affair with your boss, then with another man’s wife – it don’t look good, especially as the husband of the woman you had an affair with has been murdered and you’re implicated! If I didn’t know you, and know that you are not capable of such a despicable thing, I’d be the first to put the noose around your neck. So think on. Them as are dealing with you don’t know you. If they get to hear the full story, you will hang, and make no bones about it!’
‘Alreet, I accept that I have no choice. But it don’t sit easy with me.’
‘Good. Never mind how it sits. It’s your only hope. Now then, the lawyer is already engaged. He’s the best. My solicitor knows of him . . .’
As the doctor told him about the lawyer, Jack’s emotions alternated between anger and despair. If only he could lie in Megan’s arms and have it all not have happened. Oh, Megan, me lass, will I ever see you again?
‘Anyway, he will be in to see you tomorrow. Tell him the whole truth, Jack. Don’t leave anything out. Then he will know what he is dealing with and how to act. Thank God you had the foresight to plead not guilty at your initial hearing. Your trial date isn’t set as yet, though, as the police have asked for more time. So, you’ll meet this lawyer, then?’
‘Aye, I’ll meet him.’
‘Good. Now that’s done, I can concentrate on contacting Bert’s sister.’
‘Bert’s sister?’
‘Yes. It’s a funny tale. I don’t mean funny in an amusing way. But it turns out as Issy and I know Bert’s sister. Her name’s Bridget Hadler, or was. She was brought up in Breckton. There was a lot of to-do around the time her dad died. All sorts went on. You should get Issy to tell of it. I was only a young ’un when it happened. Anyway, it seems as Bridget’s mam, Bridie Hadler, married again and had Bert. I tried to contact Bridget as soon as all of this happened, but she and her husband were abroad on holiday. They will be back now. And nothing is lost, as Bert’s body hasn’t been released as yet. Megan had their address.’
‘Megan knew?’
‘Yes, but she’d been sworn to secrecy, at least where Issy was concerned. Bert didn’t want any interference. Megan had told Hattie, though, and we found the address amongst Megan’s things.’
Jack had no time to ask any further questions. The prison officer stepped up to announce that their time had come to an end.
‘Well, Jack. Think on now, man. And do as I say: tell the truth.’
Jack didn’t answer this. He quickly gave the doctor messages for everyone, especially Megan.
As he was led back to his cell he thought: The truth? How can I ever tell the truth? The truth would kill Megan. Or at least kill all the life that is in her.
Jack looked across the table at James Pellin. The man wasn’t much older than himself! It beggared belief that he was a top lawyer, of whom it was said that he could get the devil off a charge of arson, if he’d a mind to. Or so Dr Cragshaw had told him.
Pellin sat in silence, his piercing eyes lowered now. Jack felt a relief in him at that. It was like he could see your soul when he looked at you.
‘You’re lying, Jack.’
‘I’m not. It’s the truth, I’m telling you. I couldn’t get the better of him. The fire were taking hold. I had to do sommat. I hit him. I picked up Billy’s crutch and I hit him as hard as I could. I did it so as I could save the rest of them. We’d have all burned to death if I hadn’t done it.’
‘The only thing I believe about your story is the weapon. A crutch could have been used to kill Armitage. And if you’re not for telling me who it was that wielded it, then I have two options. One: I can go for self-defence, but given the circumstances I can’t see that holding up. Two: I can dig and dig until I find out the truth . . .’ As he paused, Jack felt again that the lawyer’s eyes were piercing his very soul. ‘And that truth is not going to be that you killed Bert Armitage.’
Jack’s body shook. He closed his eyes. In his mind flashed the scene of the blunt, heavy end of the crutch smashing down over and over. His ears heard the sound, the terrible crunching sound, and the moan as air was forced out of Bert’s lungs, never to be drawn in again. But he wouldn’t let in the evil – not the evil he’d seen in Billy. He shook his head and looked up at Pellin.
‘Why? Why don’t you believe it was me?’
‘Why? Because I have this thing called intuition. And that intuition is not letting me believe you. Now, which one was it?’
‘It was me. I keep telling you.’
‘You can tell me till you’re blue in the face. My intuition tells me you probably will, because you are protecting someone you love, and you are the kind of man who would go to the gallows rather than betray them. But I won’t give up on you, Jack. I’ll find out the truth. Unfortunately the only other two who know can’t remember the incident. But they will. I’ll have to get the Cromptons to cough up some more of their hush-hush money, to pay for psychiatric help for them.’
‘Will you be able to keep Lau— Mrs Harvey’s name out of all this?’
‘I doubt it. I’ll let them think so for a time, but it doesn’t matter one jot to me that they are paying. My loyalty is to you, Jack, as I believe you are innocent. I will use every bit of information I deem necessary in your defence, regardless of who may be hurt in the process! Besides, I may not have any choice. If it becomes apparent that the involvement of Mrs Harvey is crucial evidence, I will have to share it with the prosecution. I’m duty bound to do so.’ Pellin let out a heavy sigh. ‘Jack, you are admitting to having killed a man! You had a motive for that kil
ling. A motive that will be judged as premeditated. There can be only one sentence. You will hang!’
Jack watched as Pellin wiped the sweat from his brow and around his neck. The handkerchief he used looked as if it had never been used before. Funny, that.
‘Don’t turn away from me, Jack. Listen! Let it sink in that you are going to be hanged by the neck until you die. It isn’t quick, Jack. You kick and kick. Your body swings. Your head swells. Please, Jack. Look, if it was Megan, I’d be able to get her off with self-defence. She’d serve a minimum time, or more than likely no time at all, when what she has suffered is taken into account. If it was Billy – well, he’s a minor. His mental state would be looked at. They’d take into consideration whether or not he knew that his action would kill. Umpteen things will be taken into consideration, and the worst that could happen is that he would be committed to an institution and helped to get better, then possibly in years to come he would be rehabilitated. But neither of them would die! Do you see what I am saying, Jack? Death is final.’
Jack made no reply. He couldn’t. It all seemed so simple to Pellin. And yet he knew that any of those outcomes would be too much for Megan to bear.
‘Look, I’ve done my best. But this isn’t the end. I am going with my gut feeling. I am going to do my utmost to prove I am right. In the meantime there is a plea hearing tomorrow. We are going to stick with a not-guilty plea. I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘I don’t want you to represent me.’
‘Oh, don’t try that one, because I’m telling you it won’t stop me digging and digging until I find the truth.’
As Pellin left and the guard took him back to his cell, Jack felt out of control of everything. He couldn’t contact anyone. He could do nothing. All he could do was hope – hope that the Cromptons refused to pay for medical treatment for Billy and Megan, so that they would remain in a world where they had no recollection of the horror of what had happened. And he wished to God he didn’t, either.
The phone call was the best news they’d had. Dr Cragshaw was with Hattie and Issy when the telephone rang. James Pellin had asked for him, and now here the doctor was, telling them that Megan and Billy were to receive help.
‘Look, on the face of it, it does sound good. But this kind of therapy can take a long time to work. It isn’t always the best idea to bring back the memory. It may cause worse problems, particularly in Billy’s case, so we must all be prepared for that.’
‘Shall we see what Megan says? She should be the one to decide.’
‘Yes, Hattie, you’re right.’
Whether the doctor thought she was right or not, Hattie wasn’t in favour of anything happening that Megan didn’t know of.
Megan was propped up by a number of pillows. She looked pale and gaunt and yet managed a smile. The bruising around her eyes was receding and the blue-black colour was fading, though her eyes were still very bloodshot.
‘How are you feeling today, Megan?’
‘A little better, thanks, Doctor, but I’m reet troubled. I need to know what is happening. Is there any news as yet from that lawyer? Does you think as he’s seen Jack?’
‘Yes, he has.’ Dr Cragshaw told Megan what Pellin was proposing.
‘But why? I mean, why is Mrs Harvey’s sister doing so much? I mean, it’s kind of her, but . . .’
Hattie held her breath for a moment. She looked at Issy and then at the doctor, and each indicated with a look that Megan shouldn’t be told.
‘What? What is it? Hattie, don’t keep it from me. You know we never keep owt from each other.’
Hattie took a deep breath. What should I do? Is it my place to tell? Megan was right that they’d never kept anything from each other – especially something as big as this. Rightly or wrongly, she decided she had to hold fast to what had formed the very basis of her own and Megan’s life together: the truth.
‘Look, love, what I tell you . . .’
‘No.’
‘Issy, let Hattie tell me. I have to know. I already know as it’s sommat as will affect me by how you’re all acting. Go on, Hattie.’
At the end of her telling about Jack’s affair, Hattie was no longer sure that she’d done the right thing. Megan looked devastated. Hattie sat on the bed.
‘It doesn’t affect how Jack thinks of you, Megan love. Megan . . .’
The laughter started deep within Megan and erupted out of her mouth, causing her immense pain. And yet there was release – release from the agony of knowing the truth. A truth that left her feeling cheated: cheated out of a time she could have been with Jack. Cheated that he’d lain with another woman. Cheated in the trust she’d placed in him. Because she hadn’t ever envisaged him doing something like this. Not just taking to sate his need. Not Jack!
‘Eeh, lass, lass, don’t take on.’ Issy’s stroking of her hair gave her comfort.
Hattie held her hand. Megan gripped onto it, trying to make it the saving of her.
‘Megan, Megan, do you want me to give you something to help?’ The caring voice of the doctor offered her blessed oblivion.
‘No. No, I’ve to face it. I – I can. I have to. Oh, Jack . . . this’ll do him, won’t it? I mean, if it comes out, how will it look? Oh, Jack – why?’ No one spoke. She looked around at them. None of them could help in a situation such as this. ‘And to think as he must have talked about me when he was with her!’
‘Megan love. Let me tell you, lass, as that woman were after Jack for years. Even when Ciss were alive! And he managed to avoid being seduced by her until Ciss were two years in her grave, but then – well, his need . . . You know how it is with men.’
Aye, she knew how it was. Only she’d thought Jack was different. She could understand Issy trying to justify it all, but it was hard to accept.
‘Anyroad, he was afraid of sommat like this happening. That’s why he wanted you to change your name.’
‘Why didn’t he tell me, Issy? Why?’
‘He was scared to tell you. He didn’t want you thinking badly of him. I agreed with him that he shouldn’t. Not yet. You’d been through so much, and you were just starting a new life. He were going to tell you sometime in the future. He’d not live a lie with you.’
‘But he did! He should’ve told me.’
‘Let me give you something to rest you, Megan.’
‘No, I – I want to see Bridget. She . . . she will need me. I need to make her understand. She’ll be here this afternoon, you say?’
‘Yes, she will. But she does understand. I have told her most of it. She says she knows first-hand what it’s like to go through such violence. She doesn’t hold you or Jack responsible. Look, a mild sedative wouldn’t put you out for long. It would just help you to rest a while.’
‘All right, thanks, Doctor. Is Billy all right? And Sarah? And Sally? I haven’t seen them today.’
‘Aye, they’re fine. Billy’s happy as long as Sarah’s paying attention to him. He shows no sign of remembering. Maybe it would be the best thing for him to have some help. What do you think?’
‘But isn’t he better not knowing, Doctor? What I can remember haunts me, whether I’m asleep or awake. Shouldn’t we let Billy live without the memory?’
‘We can’t. We need you both to remember. We need the truth to come out, for Jack’s sake. Pellin thinks Jack is innocent. But he is confessing to it all.’
‘Is he? Why? No . . . no! Doctor, he mustn’t! Why is he?’
Megan sat up with the shock of these words, despite the pain it caused her to do so. ‘He didn’t do it!’ Images shot into her mind. Flashes . . . ‘Oh God! NO. NO!’
‘What is it? Megan, love.’
‘It – it were Billy . . . Oh, Hattie, it were Billy!’
The horror of it all played through her mind as if she was there again. She retched and retched. Someone put a bowl under her mouth and she heaved until she felt her very heart would come out of her.
‘Megan, Megan . . . oh, love.’
Issy’s sobs f
illed the room. How did we get to this, Megan asked herself. Oh aye, me and Jack sinned, but did we deserve so much punishment for doing so?
The pinprick of a needle going into her arm calmed the retching. ‘Doctor, I didn’t want to be put to sleep, I told you.’
‘I know, but as your doctor, I overrode your decision, as it will rest you for a couple of hours. You need that, Megan. I don’t want you going into shock again. If you get pneumonia, we will be lost.’
‘Hattie, what should I do?’
‘Sleep for a while, love. Then, if you feel up to it, tell us all about it and we’ll take it from there, eh?’
‘I’m sorry, Issy. That I should bring this down upon you. I’ve never told you, but I love you. You are like a mam to me.’
Issy patted her hand. ‘Oh, Megan love, I love you an’ all. We’ll get through this, we will.’
‘Doctor, get that help for Billy. The truth has to come out.’
As her body relaxed, Megan felt someone wipe her lips and put water to her mouth. She sipped the cool liquid. She’d let her body rest. But what of her mind? Would she ever have peace of mind again?
46
Coming to Terms
As she emerged from sleep, Megan knew she hadn’t rested. Not properly. She’d dreamed, seeing horrific images of Jack and Billy hanging by their necks. She’d tried desperately to take their weight, but every time she’d reached them, they’d moved. Her body was racked with pain, but her mind was racked with agony. She opened her eyes. Hattie sat by the side of her bed.
‘I don’t suppose as you’re much rested, love. You’ve been very agitated. I’ve done wrong. I shouldn’t have told you. Issy’s out of sorts with me, and so is Harry.’
‘No, Hattie. They don’t understand the trust as we have. Most people have broken our trust – even those as we love the most and should’ve loved us – but we’ve not broke each other’s. That means a lot to me. Folk have a false sense that they’re protecting you by keeping the truth from you. And, aye, they do it for the best of reasons. I just wish as Jack’d told me or, if he hadn’t the courage, at least Issy should’ve said.’