“Hmm.” Robbie pressed Keen closer to his side. His arm felt sure and strong over Keen’s shoulder.
Keen didn’t think about what he’d done until later, when he lay curled against Robbie, listening to him sleep. He’d purposely put Robbie in danger to bring out Robbie’s need to protect him. What was wrong with him? He played with Robbie’s blond chest hair as he hashed out his defense. Robbie liked thinking he was a superhero. With Keen there, Robbie wasn’t ever in real danger. So, no problems. Keen kissed his way up Robbie’s chest and snuggled in for the night.
KEEN startled awake. Then his mind nudged him, soothing reminders of Saturday into the forefront of his brain. He drifted back to sleep. Saturdays meant sleeping in with Robbie, puttering around the apartment, and sex. Lots of sex. He rolled to the middle of the bed, to Robbie’s arms. Which weren’t there. Also missing? The rest of Robbie.
“Robbie?”
“In here!”
Keen got up and stumbled toward the living room. He stopped short. Robbie sat on the couch with Pearl, Vapor, and Armstrong. “Morning!” Robbie said brightly.
“Uh. Be right back.” This was bad. He wondered what they’d told Robbie, what Robbie had told them. Bad bad bad. He leapt into a pair of shorts and went back out. Pearl scooted over so Keen could sit next to Robbie. “How was Alaska?” Keen asked Armstrong, whom he hadn’t seen in months and who now was evidently part of a Stake Out Keen’s Boyfriend crew.
“The same.” Armstrong yawned. “Sorry. Got back on the red eye.” He stretched out on the couch, jutting his codpiece up. The Lair’s board didn’t make him wear shorts over his uniform. His red unitard covered him ankles to neck but left nothing to the imagination.
“Uh huh.”
“Your friends were telling me you have a tradition of going out to brunch on the second Saturday of the month,” Robbie said.
They had no such tradition. Three politely challenging glares confronted him. Keen gritted his teeth. “Yes. We do. As I recall, it’s Pearl’s turn to treat.” She made a pained noise but held her smile.
“I’ll pay for Keen and me,” Robbie said, “unless you guys don’t like messing with tradition.”
“We do, actually,” Keen said.
Pearl dug into Keen’s arm. “Some traditions should be adjustable. Robbie is welcome to pay.”
“Great! I’ll get dressed.” Robbie stood up. “I’m sure you guys have a lot to talk about.” He leaned down and stage-whispered into Keen’s ear, “If you tell them about last night, start with the nickname you gave it.”
Armstrong handed Keen a glass of water already on the table to help him recover from his coughing fit. “Nickname?” He cocked an eyebrow.
“No,” Keen said. “No. What are you guys doing here?”
“We wanted a look at him,” Armstrong said. “Vapor said you’re head over heels.”
“Vapor’s already had a look at him.”
“I wanted to meet him clothed,” Vapor said. He waved off the looks of interest this invited. “See his face instead of his…. Anyway, he seems nice.”
Keen set the glass down. “He is, so why are you all looking at me like it’s a problem?”
“We’re not!” Keen turned around. Vapor stood in the kitchen, looking confused. “Shit. I thought I was getting better at not doing this. Hold on. I’m going to try to get back over there.” He disappeared again. Robbie screamed. “Sorry!” Vapor shouted after, his voice coming from the bedroom. He reappeared standing on the coffee table.
“Naked?” Pearl moved her tea out of the way.
“Yes.”
“Wish I had that trick,” she said.
“I need to get better at controlling it. Jasper doesn’t send me on any serious jobs. I’m a liability until I get trained, but it’s not sinking in.”
“You’ll get it.” Keen patted his arm. “We all have faith in you.”
“Thanks. I need to. I can’t keep a regular job anymore. Freaks people out when I flicker.”
“I thought you were getting disability?” Keen asked.
“Government nixed it. Said I’m still ‘able to work’.” He held his hands up and watched them go from solid to vapor. “Can’t hold a wrench anymore. This thing at the Lair is the best hope I’ve got.”
“Then stick with it,” Keen said. “So, you’re all here to give my boyfriend the once-over?”
“Yep,” Armstrong said.
“I’ll go get dressed too, so only one of us is naked in the restaurant.” He turned a pointed gaze to Pearl.
“Just remember who makes your life easier when Jasper’s got a bug up his ass,” she said.
Keen went into the bedroom. He’d taken to locking his closet to keep Robbie from finding the uniforms, and turned instead to his dresser to pull out a T-shirt and jeans. Robbie sat on the bed, pulling his socks on.
“Vapor got an eyeful.”
“Yeah. Sorry about that. Did he tell you—?”
“I figured out they’re superheroes. I mean, the way they’re dressed. Except for Vapor. The overalls. But he kept flickering, and I know I didn’t drink that much last night. Not enough to hallucinate a guy disappearing.”
“You’re not freaked out?”
“Why would I be? It’s awesome. You have superhero friends. How did you swing that?”
Keen pulled his shirt on to buy himself time. “We went to school together.”
“Cool.” Robbie got up. He kissed Keen. “Morning.”
Keen smiled. “Morning.”
THE diner was a few blocks away, but because Keen had the worst luck in the world, in the second block a man yelling at his girlfriend cut between him and Robbie, and Keen almost tripped. “Watch it.” Distracted from the girl, the man circled back to Keen.
“What did you say to me?”
“Nothing.”
“Calm down.” Robbie stepped between them. “Come on, man. It’s Saturday, so relax, all right?”
“Who the fuck are you telling to relax?”
“We don’t want any trouble, but if you want to start something, you do it with me.”
“Protecting your boyfriend?”
“Yep.” Robbie stepped back and put his hands up in his superhero power pose. Oh shit. Keen glanced over at his friends, who looked an array of confused and concerned. Armstrong could bench press a family-sized car, and he was as frozen as Vapor and Pearl. The man lunged at Robbie. Keen did his thing, sent the man flying backwards as he impacted against Keen’s body, and returned to his original spot next to Robbie. Robbie put his hands down. “You all right?” He asked the familiar question as he brushed Keen’s hair with his fingers. Keen melted under the touch, forgetting for a moment that his friends were watching.
“Yeah. Thanks for that.”
“You’re welcome.” He tucked Keen under his arm and led him away, evidently deciding to leave the couple to deal with themselves. “You know.” Keen looked up to see Robbie addressing the others. “I’d have thought you guys would watch out for Keen, what with you being superheroes.”
“What with us being superheroes?” Pearl asked. “What is that supposed to mean—?” She snapped her mouth shut when Keen glared at her, still cushioned against Robbie’s shoulder. Her eyes widened with understanding. She grabbed Armstrong and Vapor and whispered something. They all three looked at Keen. Busted. He locked his arm around Robbie’s waist, determined to hold onto him until those three ruined it.
At the diner, after Pearl gave the hostess an earful when she suggested Pearl might like a coat, they took a table in the center between two rows of booths. Robbie looked around like he’d entered another world. With its drab brown walls, the diner was a world apart from the places he took Keen. He opened the menu and gasped. “He’s never seen prices so cheap,” Keen explained.
“Should have let you pay for all of us,” Pearl said.
“Will if you want me to.” Robbie didn’t look up from the menu.
“No,” Armstrong said. “That’s nice of you t
o offer, but no.”
“What I want to know,” Pearl said, “is why you didn’t tell us you were a superhero?”
“Oh.” Robbie fidgeted. “It’s still new. Not ready to make an announcement or anything, and I don’t have much control over it.” He glanced at Vapor as if searching for a connection. Vapor gave him a smile. “In fact, I’m only able to do anything when Keen’s around.” He squeezed Keen’s leg. Keen forced himself to meet Robbie’s trusting gaze, but he couldn’t manage an answering grin.
“Why do you think that is?” Armstrong asked.
“Maybe my powers are only activated when someone I love’s in danger.”
“You love me?” Keen tried to whisper, but the shock of hearing it made him choke on repeating the words.
“Well, yeah,” Robbie said. “I must, if I can do all this stuff, right?”
Keen twisted with guilt. “Yeah.” He squeezed Robbie’s hand and tried to think of something to say.
“I’m going to the bathroom.” Robbie excused himself. He smiled at Keen as he left, wordlessly telling him he was off the hook.
“What. The. Fuck?” Pearl said. “We wondered why you weren’t wearing your uniform. Now we know.”
Keen played with a piece of toast from a plate the waitress had brought. “It’s complicated.”
“If he’s a superhero, I’m my own mother,” Armstrong said. “What are you playing at?”
“It’s….” Keen poked through the jellies. “He makes me feel safe.”
Long silence. He imagined their stares, though he didn’t raise his head to meet them.
“You’re a superhero,” Armstrong said. “You are supposed to make other people feel safe.”
“I know. The first time it happened, it was an accident, but the way I felt after—the way he made me feel—I’d never had that before, and I wanted it again. So I let him go on thinking it. What’s the harm?”
“The harm?” Armstrong repeated. “What if he gets hurt trying to save you? How about that for starters?”
“I protect him.”
“Hello irony! You can’t control every situation, Keen. He’s figured out his ‘powers’ don’t work if you’re not around. How do you think he did that?”
“I don’t know. Practicing at home?”
“He’s going out looking for trouble!” The table cracked under Armstrong’s fist. “You’re lucky he figured out his powers have something to do with you before he got himself hurt.”
“It’s fine,” Keen said. “I can handle it.”
“If you love him, you’d fucking well better.”
“Right.” Keen swallowed. Now that the secret was out, the facade risked spiraling out of control, but he couldn’t see himself stopping. If they found themselves in a situation he couldn’t handle, he’d lead Robbie out of it. No problem. Robbie liked being a superhero. What they had now, it was good for both of them. Still, he needed to appease his friends before one of them told Jasper. “I’ll steer him away from trouble from now on.”
“You need to tell him,” Pearl said.
Vapor had been silent throughout the conversation. “What do you think?” Keen asked.
“Speaking as the only married person here, sometimes lies are necessary, but most of the time, they fuck you over in the long run.”
“Well, it’s not the long run yet,” Keen said. He glanced toward the restrooms. “He’s coming back.”
“You guys done talking about me?” Robbie asked. He kissed Keen on the cheek and slid into his chair.
“Never done talking about you.” Keen gave him a smile, as bright as he could to brush out the misery from being forced to face his lie.
“So, what’d he nickname your wang?” Armstrong asked. Robbie laughed and Vapor spewed water across the table. Keen glanced over to see if it was due to Vapor disappearing, but Vapor was solid and beet red. Keen hid his own burning face behind his hands. His friends were never getting near Robbie again. Ever. As Robbie supplied the answer, “Super Dong,” and everyone but Keen died in their laughter, he amended that to add that Robbie was never to be allowed near Keen’s friends either.
KEEN’S next step in the charade was not to confess to Robbie that he’d led Robbie into a lie in order to satisfy a complex he hadn’t known he possessed. No, it was to take Robbie into situations where he needed to protect Keen. It was about gaining the pleasure of Robbie’s protection and proving to himself that Keen had each situation under control, and there was no reason for anyone to worry about Robbie’s safety. He told Pearl as much when she came over, and told Armstrong the same when he called. Vapor flickered in and out as usual, but he never looked judgmental. Maybe because he wasn’t born a superhero, Vapor had a better understanding of how disappointed Robbie would be if he learned the truth.
Then one day he said, “Jill and I are separating.”
“What?” Keen had been scrubbing his frying pan. He dropped it back into the water. “Why?”
“It’s my powers. I still can’t control them. She tries to be understanding but… it’s a fair decision.”
“You’d stay with her.”
“The situation isn’t reversed. The answer to that doesn’t matter.” Vapor flickered away from the table and reappeared next to the refrigerator, still in a seated position. “Be smart about Robbie.”
“Yeah.” Keen turned back to the dishes rather than let Vapor see the dismay on his face.
And still Robbie “rescued” Keen over and over, as Keen ignored everyone telling him what to do. He embraced Robbie instead and teased him with “My hero!” as Robbie rolled his eyes and his smile grew.
TAKING the subway was a mistake. It was packed, for one thing. No room to maneuver. Two, the death glares he gave the three women eyeing Robbie’s package did nothing to stop them. And three, someone who wasn’t Robbie kept grinding into Keen’s ass. Robbie had never been on the subway. “Didn’t know LA had one,” Robbie said, which ended Keen’s attempt to talk him out of it. He couldn’t control the subway. Trapped in a moving box with who knew what, and now: “That guy down there has a knife.” The woman who whispered it wasn’t speaking to anyone in particular, just throwing it into the void for a hero’s ears.
Keen prayed Robbie didn’t hear her. No such luck. Robbie started toward the front of the car. “What are you doing?” Keen asked. They weaved through the other passengers.
At the opposite end of the subway, the man used the knife to clean his nails and glanced at the passengers, who studiously avoided his gaze. He took a step and half the car fled for the other already-packed end.
“I’m going,” Robbie whispered.
“Don’t.” If he could get Robbie to back down, he could disarm the guy. If not, Keen would have to go around him. In the cramped space, he risked injuring innocent people. “The guy isn’t doing anything.”
“It’s okay.” Robbie patted Keen’s shoulder. “You don’t have to be afraid.” Fuck it, Keen got that flicker of satisfaction in his gut from Robbie wanting to protect him.
“I’m not afraid,” Keen said, and Robbie nodded indulgently.
“How about I just go talk to him?”
“From a distance.” He stayed next to Robbie, counting on Robbie’s protective nature to lead him to stay out of reach as long as Keen was next to him.
“How you doing, man?” Robbie asked. He didn’t shout, just raised his voice a bit. The guy paused cleaning his nails. “Got an interesting hygiene method, there.”
The guy flitted his gaze across Robbie and Keen, and settled back on his hands. He grunted.
“Rob,” Keen whispered. “Let the police handle it. You don’t have to risk your life. He’s not doing anything.”
The guy released a war cry and let the knife fly. Keen stepped in front of Robbie, bag raised. The knife went through the bag and stuck itself in Keen’s book. Keen yanked it out and flung it to the subway floor. He returned to Robbie’s side in time for Robbie to throw him to the floor and cover him. Robbie shifted to shi
eld him completely. As he lay there, he faced the facts. Time for the charade to end.
“I’m okay,” he said. “We can get up.”
Robbie helped him up and brushed him off. He grinned. “That was awesome. Except that you could have been hurt.”
“Come on.” The train had stopped. Keen took Robbie’s hand and pulled him onto the platform. He signaled at the transit police and led Robbie into the resulting crush of people.
They exited the station. “Where are we going?” Robbie asked.
“We have to talk.” Keen marched them to a little park where they could have some privacy. He sat down on a bench and waited for Robbie to join him.
“Are you breaking up with me?” Robbie looked like he was going to beg. Keen firmed his resolve. Robbie wouldn’t do that, but in a few seconds Keen might be begging Robbie to stay with him.
He launched into his confession. “You don’t have superpowers. I do. I’ve been leading you on.”
“Why. Why would you…?” Robbie didn’t scoot away, but maybe he was too stunned to move.
Here was the hard part. He fiddled with his bootlaces before plucking up the courage to answer. “I liked the way it made me feel.”
“To watch me make a fool of myself?”
“No!” Keen looked up. He never wanted Robbie to think that. It must have shown in his face, because Robbie’s expression changed from anger to confusion. “To know that you wanted to protect me. I lied to you so I could keep having that feeling.”
Robbie studied his feet. “We’re the same,” he said when he looked at Keen again.
“What?”
“We both have expectations on us. I’m a trust fund baby. People expect that I’ll do nothing. Nightclubs and sex and being famous for being rich, that’s as high as their expectations for me go. But I want to have a life of substance, to have people who count on me, and I want to come through for them. You’re a superhero, supposed to act like it. But you need someone to tell you everything’s going to be all right. I’m guessing that’s not in the job description?”
Men of Steel Page 6