by Sarina Bowen
Looking up, he realized Mrs. Campbell was no longer talking and was instead staring at him.
Courtney handed the model back to her. “Sorry.”
Thank God Mrs. Campbell was a baby instructor and not a drill instructor or he’d be running laps. He straightened and forced himself to focus on what she was saying about the changes that the mothers could expect over the next three months, including feeling the baby move and finding out the sex.
At one point, Mrs. Campbell asked him to stand behind Courtney and wrap his arms around her middle so he would have an idea of what it was like to have added girth in front of him. It was by far the highlight of his week to hold her in his arms…even if it was more for show-and-tell than for romance. Courtney had again tensed at his touch but eventually relaxed.
He was completely in awe by the end of the class. He’d asked all kinds of questions until Mrs. Campbell, in frustration at his ignorance, invited him to stay after class so she could answer the rest of his inquiries.
“Sorry, this stuff is just really cool. I’m a dude so I don’t get periods or have babies, and the only tenderness in my breasts is from lifting weights,” he said to Mrs. Campbell upon seeing her frown.
When Mrs. Campbell turned back to the rest of the class, Courtney leaned over and said, “Didn’t you take health class in high school?”
It wasn’t like admitting the truth would change anything between them. She was pregnant with another man’s baby. “I didn’t always go to school.”
She backed away and stared at him with an odd look on her face. He could only pray that she didn’t burst into tears again.
“Mr. Wells, did you have another question?” an exasperated Mrs. Campbell asked him.
“She was talking first,” he said, pointing at Courtney. It was like high school all over again, where the teacher only noticed when the big dummy talked and not when any of the other students talked.
Courtney giggled and when he looked at her, he couldn’t help but laugh, too. She was the cutest thing he’d seen in a long time. Life was cruel sometimes, what with putting someone like Courtney under his nose even though he couldn’t have her. If he couldn’t date her, perhaps he could encourage her to relax around him and he’d have another friend. When class ended, he turned to her. “I could drive you home if you want.”
“I’m sure Jess is done at the hospital by now. She’s probably waiting for me, but I can answer any more questions you have about fetuses or female body functions if you want to walk me out,” she said with a laugh.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sure the real Mr. Wells wouldn’t appreciate some strange man dropping off his girlfriend after pregnancy and fetal-development class.” Ian smiled as he followed her down the hallway toward the exit.
“You’re the closest thing to a Mr. Wells there ever was or ever will be,” she murmured. “Thanks for spending an hour and half learning about stuff you probably don’t care about. I’m not sure why you didn’t just admit you’re not Mr. Wells and cut out, but thanks all the same.”
He wasn’t sure what Courtney had meant. Was the baby’s father just not looking to marry her? Or did the man not have plans to be in their lives? Either way, instead of feeling glad that his thoughts about her were less depraved, her admission made Ian feel bad for her. He understood not wanting to be tied down, but ditching a kid was wrong. His own father had walked away from his mother before Ian had been old enough to remember the man. He’d never understood why his parents’ breakup had to include him, too.
“No, I liked the class. I mean not the crap about vaginal discharge and breast tenderness so much, but the labor and delivery and the actual baby stuff was cool as hell,” he replied.
She shook her head and laughed some more as they stepped outside into the humid evening air. Pulling her cell phone out of her purse she hit a number. After stopping at the bottom of the steps, she waited and then said, “Hey, Jess, it’s Courtney. Class is over and I haven’t heard from you. I’m kind of worried. Hope everything is okay. Call me when you get this message.”
Hanging up, she glanced toward the front of the college where several public transit buses were lined up. Then she looked back at Ian as though weighing which would be worse, riding with him or riding the bus. So he pulled out his own cell phone. He dialed Jess’s number, and again her voicemail picked up.
“Hey, Jess, it’s Ian. I just spent an hour and a half getting schooled in vaginas. I’m betting I know what to do with one now. Anyway, don’t worry about Mrs. Wells, I’m hoping she has a craving for ice cream and will let me treat her to some on the way to her house. Hope our mom is doing okay and is home right now lying on the sofa and ordering you around like you deserve.” He laughed and then disconnected the call.
Courtney stared at him and the fear etched on her face had him backpedaling. Minutes ago she’d been laughing at his antics in front of a room full of strangers. Now the idea of a half-hour car ride alone with him had her looking like a soldier running for cover.
“Hey, the backseat has your name on it if that works better for you, and we can skip the ice cream if you need to get home,” he offered, holding his hands out in front of him defensively.
She stared at the line of buses for several seconds before turning back to him. Her eyes scanned his face briefly until she met his gaze again with a shy smile. “Okay to the backseat, but only if we can stop for ice cream.”
With the sun fading quickly the parking garage was dark, and even though he wished she would walk next to him so he could protect her from cars, she insisted on walking behind him. If he slowed down to let her catch up she slowed down or stopped walking completely. He finally gave up and led the way. Upon opening the car door for her, she just stood there looking at him. Unsure why she wasn’t getting inside, and praying she didn’t break into tears, he simply left the door open, walked around and got in the driver’s seat.
After they made it to the interstate he glanced in the rearview mirror but could barely make out her face in the dark. Feeling his phone buzz, he offered it back to her. “Can you read the message to me? It might be from Jess.”
Taking the phone, she pushed the button and then snickered. “It is from Jess. She says that her mom was only just released because this time she was actually running a fever.”
Then Courtney laughed outright.
“What?”
“Jess says the fever might be related to her mom’s vajayjay and wants to know what the diagnosis might be then…Dr. Coochie.”
Ian laughed right along with Courtney. “Tell her it’s probably just an infection from having delivered a smart-mouthed brat twenty-eight years ago. Nothing can be done to ease the horrible discomfort. It’s a lifelong disease that our mom will just have to learn to live with.”
As she punched in his response to Jess she laughed to herself. “What is the deal with this ongoing feud about her parents?”
“Well, I cater to her mother’s drama and bullshit just because Jess hates it so much. Her mother mentioned once how she wished she could adopt me instead of just paying me to clean her house, because I’m so grateful and that I would be willing to give her grandkids. I told Jess’s mom how sweet that was and then I called her Mommy. Jess’s parents are rich, right? So when we left their house that night I asked Jess who she thought would get a bigger slice of the inheritance pie…me or her. Jess punched me in the nuts and huffed off, but I’ve been referring to her parents as our parents ever since,” he explained, pulling into the parking lot of an ice cream parlor not far from Rusty’s house.
“That is so bad,” Courtney said with a chuckle. “If her mother would just realize that being a lesbian isn’t something Jess is going to grow out of, their relationship would probably improve tremendously.”
“Well Jess might be a daddy’s girl, but I’ve got the market cornered on her mother,” he said with a laugh.
After ordering ice cream, they sat down at a table. He offered her what he’d ordered for himse
lf and she laughed and shook her head no. He hadn’t enjoyed spending most of the evening with someone this much in a long time. Spending time with Courtney had even been worth missing his regular workout with Ronnie, Seth and Rusty.
“You should come by the campus where I work and take a look at some of the medical and nursing programs they offer. You seemed pretty fascinated by what you were learning tonight,” she said after licking ice cream off her spoon.
“Ok, Sergeant Hawkins, I’ll get right on that,” he said, rolling his eyes at her.
“What is so bad about it? You obviously like to learn new things,” she said with a pretty smile.
“Learning about the intricate workings of vaginas, fetal development and childbirth this evening didn’t require reading and taking tests,” he replied, finishing the last of his ice cream and noticing she was only halfway done.
“You’re not much of a reader then, huh?”
“I don’t know. I don’t always comprehend what I read so it’s hard for me sometimes…like Tori’s boy, Zach. You heard them talking about his struggles at school. That was me growing up. The difference was I lived in the projects, and my mom was a lot more interested in partying than in helping me do well in school. The teachers back then just passed a kid along from grade to grade to get them out. Especially if they were like me,” he replied.
They talked easily for the rest of the evening. By the time he dropped her off at her house and made it back to Rusty’s, it was pretty late. Ian quietly went to bed where he lay awake thinking about Courtney. He’d dropped hint after hint, asking if there was someone special in her life, until finally she had admitted that there wasn’t. Even so…did he really want to get involved with a woman who was expecting another man’s baby? That question repeated in his head more times than he could count over the next couple of days as he thought about Courtney.
Five days later, he knew he most definitely did want to get involved with a pregnant woman…at least as friends. Even though Jess seemed surprised at how well he and Courtney were getting along, he’d convinced Jess to allow him to attend the classes with Courtney in her place, but she’d made him promise to talk it over with Courtney first.
Well that was exactly what he was planning to do—today. He would go to the campus where Courtney worked on the premise that he was seriously thinking about taking classes. Then he’d conveniently bump into her. The pamphlets he picked up while he was there would fend off Rusty for a little while, since Ian had forgotten to pick some up the other night.
After hitting it hard at the gym, he showered and spent twenty minutes deciding what to wear. He thought about some of the outfits Seth wore, the ones that made women take notice of him, and tried to duplicate the look. Somehow the outfit Ian settled on didn’t look as good on him as it probably would have looked on Seth. Ian was a lot bigger than Seth. He was too big…and too bulky. He looked like a foot-long hot dog stuffed into a regular bun. When he finally made it to the campus he walked through the medical department with the intention of grabbing a few pamphlets that looked convincing and then finding Courtney’s office. After sifting through the brochures on the programs the school offered, he looked up at the clock, did a double take and then glanced at his cell phone. He’d wasted a whole hour looking through information about the human body, specifically about expectant mothers, babies and little kids. He was being creepy.
He glanced down the hallway to see if any students had noticed him hanging around looking at brochures about pregnant women and babies. When he turned back around, he nearly ran into Courtney. She looked down at the pamphlet he held, which of course depicted the inner workings of a woman’s reproductive system. He quickly folded the leaflet. This time he was the one who had a hard time meeting her gaze.
“I wondered if you would show up here,” she admitted.
The warmth of her smile eased his awkwardness. Holding up the booklet, he said, “Still sweating that Jess knows more about the birth canal than I do. I thought maybe I should study up a little bit.”
Laughing, she said, “You two crack me up. I mean, seriously, I would hope she knows more since she’s a woman.”
Relieved that she didn’t find his fascination with the female anatomy nearly as disturbing as he did, he said, “I’ll buy you lunch if I can go to your pregnancy and fetal-development class with you tonight instead of Jess.”
“That’s a really good offer, but I already ate. However, Jess called and cancelled for tonight so how about ice cream again…afterward?” she asked, looking at anything but him. She was too cute when she was being shy. Her nervousness was not as noticeable as it had been at the restaurant, but it was obviously still there.
“Yeah, that would be great. Class starts at seven, right? I’ll pick you up about six-fifteen if that works for you,” he replied, trying to reassure her with a smile.
“I’ll see you then.” She smiled before walking away. After a few steps she stopped and turned back to look at him. “Oh, and Jess said that if you got up the balls to ask me about going to class tonight to tell you to call her.”
Then she walked away without looking back, and he stood there holding a pamphlet about vaginas and wearing a stupid-ass grin. That little bit of teasing she’d thrown at him was worth looking like an idiot…and more than worth taking shit from Jess. Once Courtney was out of sight, he stuffed the booklet in a nearby trash can and headed for his car. He’d get ones on different subjects another time. He dialed Jess’s number as he walked.
“I would ask what you are doing, but after the last time I asked I doubt I want to know,” Jess said instead of hello.
“No, wait, this is even bigger,” he said with a pause for effect. “Guess who gets to go to class tonight with a cute blonde…”
“Ahhh, so you’re playing the man card today and actually grew a set, huh?” Jess asked.
“Look, I even suited up to come over here and ask her, so shut your yap. You are fixing to be out one BFF. Just stand back and watch the man work,” he said with a laugh.
“Actually that is why I wanted you to call me. I need to say something and I need you to listen, really listen. All jokes aside because this is serious. I also need you to swear to me you will never repeat what I am about to tell you or I really could lose a BFF. I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t think you really needed to know,” Jess said, her tone serious. “Courtney and I have been friends ever since she was my psych instructor my third year in college. You’ve only known her a few months…and only because I brought her to your fight to interview you. It’s true that nearly everyone who knows you loves you, but with Courtney it’s…complicated.”
A premonition that he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear struck right before he said, “Okay, spill.”
“I am thrilled that you and Courtney have hit it off so well. I mean, I didn’t see that coming at all, but I’m also a little concerned. She…she, um, doesn’t do well around men. In fact, there is no ‘Mr. Wells,’ in case you’ve been wondering. She was artificially inseminated.” Jess paused as if unsure how to continue.
“Okay…” he prompted.
“Oh, hell, I don’t even know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. She has never been with a man. She witnessed the sexual assault of a relative when she was younger and it messed her up pretty bad, hence her issues with men,” Jess finished quietly. After dead silence for several moments she asked, “You still there?”
“Yeah,” he managed to say.
“I’m only telling you this because she mentioned that you put your arm around her the other day. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that since you are the first man she’s voluntarily spent time with…alone,” Jess explained. “The whole Seth dancing at her shower thing—it was because when I first met her she was full of questions about how to become a lesbian. I tried to explain that you don’t become a lesbian and that being afraid of men didn’t mean she was a lesbian. I was hoping to use Seth to prove my point. My lesson learned is th
at the exotic dancer didn’t prove anything to her, but you—if you’re careful—you just might.”
Chapter Three
Courtney’s doorbell rang at six o’clock. She looked at the security-video screen as she headed downstairs and saw Ian on her front porch with his hands in his pockets, his head hanging down. A strange mix of emotions passed through her. The ever-present nervousness and insecurity was there in the pit of her stomach, but also a small ounce of…excitement? She was actually looking forward to spending time with him. That couldn’t be…. It must be the pregnancy hormones.
When she opened the door, he looked at her with a strange expression on his face. Then, as though mentally shaking himself, he pulled a paint swatch out of his pocket. “Have you painted the baby’s room yet?”
“What?” She stepped back and held the door open for him, swallowing down her nervousness at allowing such a big man to enter her home.
Somehow, regardless of his size, she wasn’t put off by the idea of being alone with him as she would have been with most men. After all, she’d already let him sit next to her and put his arm around her. She’d ridden in a car alone with him, taken him to class and even allowed him to hold her in his arms, from behind no less. She couldn’t seem to help it. She was drawn to him.
“The baby’s room—did you paint it yet?” he asked, stepping through the doorway. “I’m going to help Rusty paint his kitchen, and when we were at the hardware store earlier I saw this and thought it was a good color for a boy or a girl.”
Looking down at the scrap of heavy paper, she noticed a star by a pastel-green color. He was watching her, and when she smiled at him he smiled back, showing his perfect teeth. What could it hurt to show him the baby’s room?