Hauling Ash

by Tonia Brown

  “Yeah you did. And you were right. I didn’t really mean you should buy a better dog. Even though it’s true.”

  Otto chuckled. “He does pee whenever someone sneezes.”

  “Or coughs.”

  “Or talks.”

  “Or blinks.”

  “Or breathes.”

  “What a silly little doggy. I’m gonna miss him when I finally go to the Great Beyond.”

  “I’m gonna miss you, Walter.”

  “I know, son. Let’s not do this now. Plenty of time for that sort of nonsense later.” Walter stood and rubbed his hands together. “Okay then, you get out of here and meet your woman. I got me a nervous little mutt to hunt down.”

  Otto nodded as he got to his feet. “Thanks again, Walter.”

  “Don’t mention it. Have a good brunch.”

  “Thanks. See you later.” Before Otto could make it through the door, Walter called out to him.

  “Oh and do me a favor will you?”

  “Sure.”

  “If you two come back here to do the nasty, could you hang a sock or something on the door handle so I don’t barge in? I do not want to see that again.”

  Laughing to himself, Otto made his way down the decks to the mezzanine, where he had a blonde bombshell waiting on him. If anyone could alleviate his worry about the mob, the FBI, and his poor missing dog, it had to be Penny Lane.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Breakfast for Two

  Minutes later

  “You ain’t gonna believe this, boss,” Larry said as he yanked a chair away from the table and plopped down beside Frank.

  “What is it?” Frank said without looking up from his book. Being on a cruise meant he missed his daily paper, though a romance novel was a decent substitute. Just as trashy, just as distracting.

  “They lost his mutt.”

  Frank peered over the edge of his book at his partner. Larry was busy scarfing down a stack of pancakes the size of his head. Where the guy put all of the food, Frank had no idea. The kid was as skinny as a rail.

  “What was that?” Frank said.

  “Walforf’s fog,” Larry said around a syrupy bite. He swallowed the lot down and tried again. “Waldorf’s dog. The cruise line lost him. Isn’t that something?”

  “Who told you that?”

  “It’s the big rumor all over the boat. Some poor guy’s dog got gone, and come to find out, it’s our perp’s.”

  “Gone?” Frank closed his book and tapped on the cover in thought. “Gone as in the staff mislaid the mutt or the dog jumped ship or what?”

  Larry shrugged. “Don’t know. Some folks seem to think the mutt was stolen. Isn’t that bizarre? Why would someone take a man’s dog like that?” Larry waggled his fork at Frank. “Aint you gonna eat? You didn’t eat last night. You really should eat something.”

  “I haven’t been hungry. Are you sure it was Waldorf’s mutt?”

  “Yeah. The nervous schnauzer in the kennel.”

  “I see. And you don’t think that’s a little coincidental?”

  “Coincidental with what?”

  Frank sighed.

  “I’m sorry,” Larry said, poking at his pancakes with his fork. “I can’t think straight on an empty stomach. Let me eat first and then you can quiz me.”

  “It’s okay. I only meant you don’t think it’s a little weird that just last night Maloney made a point to let Waldorf know he had access to the dog, and now the dog is gone?”

  “Ah, yeah, I get it now. Hey, that’s pretty low thing to do.”

  “That’s Maloney all over. I wonder how Waldorf is taking the news.”

  Larry raised his fork, dripping syrup and pancake crumbs along the tabletop as he pointed over Frank’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go ask him?”

  Frank turned in his seat as the man in question strolled into the dining hall. Waldorf appeared quite cheery for someone who had lost his precious pup to the mob. Frank realized why the moment Penny Lane sashayed into the hall on Waldorf’s heels. The lovebirds held hands as they selected a table and made themselves comfortable. Frank scooted one seat over so he didn’t have to twist around to keep an eye on the pair. He hid behind his novel hoping she couldn’t see him.

  “He’s with Lane,” Larry said.

  “I can see that,” Frank said.

  “He sure doesn’t look upset.”

  “I was just thinking the same thing.”

  “Why you hiding behind your book?”

  “Because Lane and I have met, and I don’t want her to recognize me before I get a chance to talk to Waldorf.”

  “Ah. That’s smart.” Larry snatched up a raised a menu in front of him.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Hiding too.”

  “Have you met her?”

  “No, sir.”

  Frank decided to let that one go, rather than stating the obvious, focusing instead on the couple across the dining hall.

  Lane picked up a menu and started flipping through it, pointing out the various choices to her new boy toy. She touched Waldorf every minute or so—a hand on his hand, brushing a hair from his face, patting his arm, grabbing his shoulder while laughing at every word that poured out of the poor sap’s mouth. Waldorf lapped up the attention like a thirsty animal, grinning goofily at the woman as she fawned and fussed over him. From Frank’s point of view, it all seemed so planned and professional, which made him wonder again what exactly was going on here. If the pair of them was in this thing together, then it made sense for Lane to sneak into Waldorf’s room under the cover of darkness, just like the night before. But for them to brazenly take brunch in the middle of the afternoon, out in the open, where Maloney could see them conspiring? Lane struck Frank as being smarter than that. Much smarter. The whole thing didn’t make any sense.

  That settled things for Frank. It was high time he and Waldorf had a talk, though not in front of Lane. Even if the woman didn’t immediately recognize Frank, he didn’t want her to influence Waldorf. Frank needed to lure Waldorf away to a safe place where the man could talk freely. He also needed to move fast, before Lane gave the man any more ideas. He spied his chance when he saw the woman grab her purse and excuse herself for a moment, getting up from the table and leaving Waldorf alone. She crossed the dining hall and disappeared into the restrooms.

  The moment Lane left the room, Waldorf’s face fell into an anxious look. He began chewing his thumbnail and rocking in his seat—all signs of a very worried man. Why would he hide his concern in front of the woman? Things got weirder by the minute.

  “You wait here,” Frank said as he stood. “I’m gonna go and see a man about a dog.”

  “Okay, boss man,” Larry said, then shoved a sausage in his mouth.

  “I told you to call me Frank.” Frank tossed the novel onto the table and made a beeline for Waldorf, slowing to a stroll as he drew nearer to the man. “Excuse me. Are you Octavious Waldorf?”

  Waldorf raised his face to Frank and smiled, that worried look vanishing under a mask of forced cheer. “Yes I am. Do I know you?”

  “Do you mind if I sit down?” Without giving Waldorf a chance to say no, Frank pulled around a chair from one of the other tables and straddled it from the back. “I heard the cruise line lost your dog and I wanted to say how sorry I am.”

  The man’s cheer wavered for a moment; his lower lip trembled as if he were trying not to weep. “Do you work for them?”

  “No. I’m here on other business. I just wanted to extend my condolences.”

  “Thank you.” Waldorf nodded at Frank, then turned to look back at the bathrooms. When he twisted in his seat again, he almost jumped as he came into eye contact with Frank again. “You’re still here?”

  Frank glanced to the bathrooms, trying to gauge how much time he had left. “Listen, that woman you’re here with—”

  “Penny?”

  “The blonde, yes. You don’t think she is worth it, do you?”

  Waldorf furrowed his
brow. “Worth it?”

  “I mean, a woman like that? You can do so much better.”

  The man blinked in confusion. “I can?”

  “Sure you can. Let’s face it, no woman is worth so much risk. Is she?” When Waldorf opened his mouth to reply, Frank spied Lane exiting the bathroom. It was time to wrap this up fast before she recognized him. Frank stood and pulled a card from his top pocket. “Listen, if you ever want to talk, you know, get things off of your chest or whatnot, you give me a call. Okay?” He offered Waldorf the card. “Here’s my number. You can find me in cabin six in first class if you need me. I hope we can talk, really soon.”

  Without looking at it, Waldorf slid the card into the top pocket of his shirt. “Thank. I guess. Do you mind if I ask what all of this is—”

  “My stars and garters,” Lane said as she sashayed up to the table. “If it isn’t Mr. Frank Wallace himself.” She held out her hand, almost daring Frank to take it.

  Frank politely shook her hand and nodded to Lane. “Miss Lane.”

  Waldorf pointed between the pair. “Wait. You two know each other?”

  “You can say that, sugar,” Penny said. “Frank and me go way back.”

  “A few months,” Frank corrected her. “We met when on the last raid—”

  “On another cruise,” Penny interrupted. “And you are right, it was only a few months back. How time flies when you’re having fun. Isn’t that right?” She grinned.

  Frank stared at her in confused silence.

  Waldorf tapped his chin as he considered the possibilities. “Yes, yes. Penny explained this wasn’t her first cruise. No worries though, I don’t consider myself a jealous man.” He stood and wrapped an arm around the lady. “I must say it was rather good of you to introduce yourself, though as you can see, Penny is with me now. So, good luck elsewhere.”

  “All right then,” Frank said, the fog of the situation starting to clear. A fair idea of what was happening here began to formulate in Frank’s mind, and he didn’t like it one bit. “Have a good morning, Mr. Waldorf. I hope they find your dog soon.”

  Lane gasped. “Your dog is gone?”

  “Yes,” Waldorf said. “I wasn’t going to tell you, but …”

  Frank left the two chatting and returned to his waiting partner.

  “Well?” Larry asked.

  “He doesn’t know,” Frank said.

  “What?”

  “I think the guy doesn’t know she’s a call girl, and Lane was very careful not to let me tell him.”

  “That kind of changes things, don’t it?”

  “It sure does.” Frank stared across the dining hall, watching Waldorf and Lane get up and leave, probably off to seek brunch from one of the ship’s other restaurants. The way Waldorf leaned into his grip on Lane reminded Frank of his early courting days with Mrs. Wallace. “To make it worse, I think he’s in love with her.”

  Larry hissed. “What an unlucky bastard.”

  Frank nodded. The kid had summed it up in four little words.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The Awful Truth

  Ten minutes later

  “I’m sorry,” Penny said, “I had to get out of there. Too many memories associated with that man.”

  “No problem,” Otto said. He gripped Penny’s hand tighter. “I’ll follow you anywhere.”

  “Aw, that is so sweet. You wouldn’t say that if you knew where I was leadin’ you.” She giggled.

  Otto grinned. Well, truth be told, he never stopped grinning. Penny had that effect on him. He was fairly sure if he remained around her for much longer, a permanent smile would sprout on his face. And he didn’t mind one bit.

  “I’m sorry about your dog,” Penny said.

  “No need to be,” Otto said. “I’m sure they will find him. He probably just wandered off. He gets anxious without me, you see.”

  “Yeah, maybe he did just wander off. Still, you should be prepared for the worst. I mean, the ship is only so big, and they haven’t found him yet.”

  Otto wondered at her tone. It was less sympathetic and more apologetic. No, he was letting his nerves get the best of him. Certainly she was only trying to help him cope. She couldn’t know what Walter knew. Or what Otto hoped. That Finster was safe and sound, hiding out somewhere below decks, and not in the hands of that awful, awful man,

  “Otto,” Walter said from Otto’s left.

  Glancing down the hallway toward the staircases, Otto found Walter lingering in the shadows, motioning to him. “Ah, Penny? Could you excuse me for a moment? I think I need to use the little boy’s room.”

  “Sure,” she said. “Take your time. I’ve kind of lost my appetite anyways.”

  Otto patted her hand. “You go on ahead. Get us a table. I’ll catch up.”

  “All right.” She leaned in and kissed him.

  As far as kissing went, Otto considered himself rather talented in that area. It was the only thing his ex-wife didn’t complain about, which Otto considered a success seeing as how she constantly bitched about everything else he did. However, Octavious Waldorf, master kisser extraordinaire, had nothing on the gifted lips of Miss Penny Lane. She pressed her mouth to his lightly, feathering her lips against his a few seconds before she pushed against him harder and slipped her tongue into his mouth. Penny snaked her tongue across his, over and over, in a wild, undulating, erotic dance.

  Naturally it brought about all sorts of results in the love starved Otto. His toes curled. His throat went dry. He trembled all over and gasped for breath under her mouth. His mind flashed back to the wonderful night they spent together, sending most of his blood racing below his belt. Yet, it was more than just eroticism at its finest.

  The kiss united them in body; the passion behind it joined them by souls.

  Until, without warning, it was done. She pulled away and they faded into separate beings once more. It left Otto empty, almost ready to weep from the loss of such complete connection with another living being. It also left him hungry for much, much more.

  Penny patted his cheek and smiled up at him. “I’ll see you there.”

  If it hadn’t been for his overwhelming urge to make sure Finster was okay, Otto would’ve lifted Penny over his shoulder and carted her back to his room where he would toss her onto the bed and spend the rest of the cruise between the sheets. But his dog needed him, and he needed to be sure about Finster more than he needed even the beautiful woman walking away from him. Otto made sure she was out of sight before he slipped into the hallway looking for Walter.

  “Walter?” Otto whispered. “Where did you go?”

  The men’s room door opened a crack. “I’m in here. Come on in, we need to talk about a few things.”

  Otto pushed through the door and cornered Walter by the sinks. “I don’t think I will ever understand how you can move things if you are a ghost.”

  “You aren’t the only one.” Walter worried his hands together and furrowed his brow.

  “Well?”

  “Well?”

  “Did you find him?”

  “I sure did.” Walter’s expression didn’t bear good news.

  “Maloney has him?”

  “Sort of. That big bald brute of his, um, is Bingo his name?”

  “Banjo, I think.”

  “Ah, whatever. That man has your dog hidden in his closet. His room is in the lowest deck.”

  “So they are keeping him hostage. The animals.”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t ask. I have something else to tell you.”

  “I hope Finster pees in all his shoes. Serves him right.”

  “Otto, son, I need to talk to you about something important.”

  “Really? Can it wait? I have to get back to Penny.”

  “I thought you were worried about your precious pooch?”

  “I am. You can watch him for me. Can’t you?”

  Walter eyed Otto, up and down, as if evaluating his worth. “You’re in love with her. Aren’t you?”

&n
bsp; Otto turned to the sinks rather than face his uncle with uncertainty. “Of course not. Don’t be silly. I don’t even know her.”

  “Yes you are. She beds you for one night and you’re ready to marry her.”

  As a levelheaded man, Otto knew exactly what this relationship appeared as to the likes of his dead uncle. Otto had been a bachelor for so many years, all alone, then along comes this fantastic looking blonde for a one night stand and he falls in love with her? Yet it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t her glorious blonde hair, or her delicious curves, or her amazing sexual skills. It wasn’t that sexy trill of a laugh, or her quaint accent, or even her interest in the mortuary arts. It wasn’t the fact that Otto was still grieving his uncle’s passing, or lonely, or plain old horny.

  It was all of these things.

  And so much more.

  “I’m not in love with her,” Otto whispered as he stared into the sink. “I do have some feelings for her… I don’t know if it’s love. Not yet.” He looked up to Walter again, a warm smile rising to his lips as he spoke the truth that lay on his heart. “I am willing to explore those feelings. After so many years of ignoring that side of my life, I am willing to give her a try. I want to spend the rest of the time I have left on this boat with her. I want to learn everything about her, and maybe, just maybe, see if that spark I feel is the beginning of something more serious. I am not in love with her, Walter. I want to love her, and that has to be worth something to even an old dead curmudgeon like you. So, pardon me for saying that there is no force in heaven or hell, nothing you can do or say that will make me change my mind.”

  Walter stared at Otto again for a quiet moment, then said the last thing Otto ever expected to hear the dead man say. “She’s working for Maloney.”

  Otto furrowed his brow. He was tempted to stick his finger in his ear and waggle it about, because there was no way he heard Walter say what he thought the ghost had said. “What?”

  “That blonde you’ve been screwing is Maloney’s whore.”

  “What?” Otto echoed, still unsure what in the world Walter was talking about.