by Love Belvin
Rayna laughed heartily. I was annoyed to say the least. Kiss ups are disingenuous people, I detest them.
“And what is your relationship with him?” Rayna asked in amusement.
“Money. He’s been asking for years for me to invest in his indie films. I haven’t been interested until recently. I’m still on the fence.”
“Well, he drives a hard bargain. Be ready to be sold,” she said still laughing.
“Rayna, I thought you should know that I’ll be out of town next week,” I inform her while twirling my champagne flute.
With wide eyes she asked, “Where?”
“Paris. My partner has a few things lined up over there…potential associates who are in markets we’d like to engage. If I’m lucky, I’ll return a man with many connections and more enterprises,” I simplified.
“Paris. For how long?” She seemed disappointed.
“I’ll leave out on Monday and due to return on Friday. It’s a relatively short trip and is extremely hopeful. Will you miss me?”
“Probably more than I can stand.” She pouted softly while looking into the distance.
I know this is bad timing considering we’ve been locked at the hip for about a week now. She’s still grieving and won’t have anyone while I’m away. Her nightmares that she has no idea that I am aware of were still frightening for her. But this was an opportunity that I could not turn away. Things were drastically turning around for me in the land of merging and acquisitions and I had to strike while the iron was hot.
“You can always come. I’m sure you can request the time off,” I offered knowing I’d be more than agreeable to that.
“Don’t be silly, Azmir. I could never impose on you like that. I’m a big girl. I’ll be fine,” she tried to assure unconvincingly. “But I am excited about this opportunity and what it means for your career. I can say I smashed you when,” she joked and we both fell into laughter.
Moments later, as we were chatting, another familiar voice spoke from behind me.
“Oh, wow! I didn’t know you’d be here.” I turned to find Lady Spin. I wasn’t expecting to see her either.
“Lady S,” I said inexpressively. Right away she locked eyes with Rayna who’s standing next to the table. She reached up and air kissed me on the cheek. Not a good move but I allowed it.
“It’s a surprise seeing you, too,” I said, feeling indifferent.
“Did you come alone?” she asked looking Rayna square in the face.
“No. This is Ms. Rayna Brimm. Ms. Brimm, I’m not sure if you are familiar with Lady Spin from the radio?” I pose as a question knowing damn well they met at an event a couple of months back.
“Why, of course. It’s a pleasure to see you again,” Rayna said with grace.
Spin gave a spurious smile and cut her eyes to me. She was getting the message. She may not have liked the painting, but she understood the picture. Now, I’d always liked Spin because she was easy to get along with and fun to hang out with. She didn’t press me for much. She was very direct with wanting a sexual relationship with no strings attached. And I knew her heart was with a guy from a popular R&B group from the early 1990s. She was nearly forty and knew how to separate her feelings from her pussy or so I thought until today.
“So, how’s everything? How’s Petey? I have to get back to him about your party pictures. He told me they’re ready,” she said, trying to illustrate intimacy between us and name drop. Women can be so conniving.
Rayna just stood there heedfully and coolly watching. The look in Lady S’ eyes told me this wouldn’t go over easy, which I didn’t understand because she was pliant to our arrangement in the past.
To my surprise we were interrupted by Rayna’s girl, Britni.
“Rayna! Heeeeeeey, girl!” Britni shrieked.
Rayna turned and gave a huge smile and said, “Hey Britni, how are you? What are you doing here?”
Britni announced, “I’m here with Spin.”
Rayna narrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “Oh, wow. Small world.”
Britni had a slick look in her eye. “Yeah, she’s my cousin.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Rayna muttered, trying to mask her disappointment.
“Well, it’s not like you ever hung out with us outside of Michelle. But Michelle met her a while back,” Britni announced.
This was some bullshit brewing. I wasn’t looking forward to the outcome at all. Rayna was visibly uncomfortable.
“Oh, cuz! This is a good friend of mine, Azmir—” Spin was cut off my Britni.
“Azmir Jacobs. Yes, he was the sole sponsor of my Bahamian vacation that I told you about. And what a pleasure that was,” she said with the most scheming and seductive smile.
“I’m glad you were able to take part in Rayna’s birthday excursion…?”
“Britni,” she answered my purposely posed question of her name. She was insignificant. I understood what she was trying to do to Rayna.
“Britni. That’s right,” I said wryly.
Britni looked Rayna up and down and said, “Wow, Rayna, you’re really gettin’ it,” as she cut her eyes at me. Was she really insinuating that Rayna was pimping me? I had to chuckle! Women can be really shady.
“Getting it, huhn?” Rayna replied calmly, wearing a smirk while intently reading Britni’s eyes. I could tell she was infuriated.
“Yeah, those Loubou’s are from the spring line. They’re on every diva’s wish-list and here you are rocking the hell out of them,” Britni antagonized.
“Flattery gets you everywhere, B. Glad to have inspired you,” Rayna replied mirthlessly.
I had to stop this. I saw a flame shoot up in Rayna’s eyes. I didn’t want her flexing.
Spin looked at me and said, “I need to speak with you—privately,” a little demanding even. I didn’t like it. She was trying to enter into an estrogen war and these two were tag-teaming Rayna. If I had to choose, Spin will be picking her bruised ego off the ground. I don’t do shows.
But before I could answer Rayna issued, “Mr. Jacobs, you better go, she sounds desperate. Besides, I need a moment with my…estranged…buddy here,” while her eyes were burning a hole in Britni’s face.
“Desperate?” Spin shot back.
Rayna’s eyes darted to Spin, “Yes,” she smiled ruefully. “See, when you see your former bed-buddy out with a new woman and immodestly ask to speak with him in private, that has a scent of desperation to it. Go, have your moment. I’m generous.” She maintained a smile that didn’t extend to her eyes, the same she wore when speaking to Britni a few moments ago.
I don’t think Spin was expecting that. Shit, I wasn’t expecting that. Spin was at a loss for words. And honestly, I was grateful. I would not have Rayna out here doing a showdown with another woman. I respected Spin and wouldn’t even want that for her. I think Rayna wanted a moment to settle up with Britni.
Spin bowed out gracefully and I asked Rayna with my eyes if it was cool that I speak with her. She gave me a soft nod and warm smile. I looked at Britni with pity. She’s about to get to get her ass handed to her.
I followed Spin around the bar and on the side of the house to a wooden bench. She stopped with her hands wrapped around her waist and rhythmically pats her feet. It was clear that she was in a defensive poise. I offered her a seat to which she declined. I then sat.
“Azmir, what’s going on with you and this…young lady? This seems different,” she hissed.
I creased my brows and said, “Spin, I’m lost. Are you asking me for my dating status with Rayna Brimm?”
“Yes!” she answered emphatically.
“I don’t think that’s owed. Aren’t you back with Dalvin?”
She looked affronted. “Yes and no. We’re still working out the kinks.” She appeared flushed.
“Okay, but during our last conversation you told me that you were going back to him, ergo the termination of our arrangement.” She wasn’t going to make me out to be a lothario. I didn’t owe her shit.<
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“So, I guess what I’m asking here is will she be an issue for us if I want to continue with our arrangement?” she asked with overt sarcasm.
“Indeed.”
“Wow. That’s really fucked up, Azmir,” she murmured, looking out into the distance.
“Spin, you’ve always been good peoples—with or without sex. I don’t want that to change, but right now I have my hands into something. And besides, I was really under the impression that you and Dalvin were back tight again. I don’t want to play that in between role. Go and work that out with him or close that chapter so that you can move on with someone who deserves you,” I advised her genuinely. I really did like Spin, but our time had expired.
She stood there shell-shocked staring into midair. I could swear I saw her fighting back tears. I didn’t understand where all of this emotion was coming from. Spin and I were never an item and have always been honest about the fact that we didn’t want to be. Hell, even if I were single without Tara or Rayna, I seriously doubt if I’d go for Spin. She’s too much of a public figure. She’s at every party, award show, and fundraising event. She’s dated heavily in the industry as well. I’m a low-key type of man and don’t want to ever bargain that.
During our moment of silence at the memorial of our affair, her assistant runs over to her, “Lady Spin, we have to go! You’re on soon and we have to mic you!”
“Okay,” she said to the awkward looking fellow wearing oversized yellow framed glasses.
She gave me a glance seeming to want to say more. I nodded in concession and she walked off.
On my way back to Rayna, I decided to stop at the bar and refresh her drink. I hoped her pow-wow with ol’ girl wasn’t too bad.
When I returned to our cocktail table, I noticed Rayna wasn’t there. I looked up and saw Rick.
“That Ms. Brimm is hot, bro! She’s over there on the dance floor making us all swoon. Are you serious about her, Azmeer?” Rick asked in all sincerity.
“Indeed,” I chortled. “Let me go swoon, too,” I said as I strode toward the music.
I walked up on Rayna who was nearly center stage dancing to Latin music. Her moves were smooth and acute. There were nearly twenty people following the lead of an instructor, but she was getting special attention from him. The short guy was animated and loud. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Rayna who stayed focus on her feet looking over to him occasionally to take cues. Most of the women following on the dance floor were bare foot. But even they couldn’t hold a candle to Ms. Brimm in five-inch stilettos. It didn’t even seem as if she was trying very hard.
Raptly, I watched them go from one song to another. At that point I was so intrigued I grabbed a seat to get comfortable. I noticed Britni staring and could’ve sworn she even pointed to me while talking to someone else. Then Rayna looked over at me and gave me a warm smile and wink. I thought the gesture was nice. I stayed and watched for a while. I was glad to see she was enjoying herself independent of me. It was clear that the instructor was enjoying her, too. I wasn’t moving too far just in case I had to check his chin.
A few people came over to speak, including Rick. He introduced me to Brad, the actor, who has apparently signed on to star in the film Rick is asking me to help fund. He was taking toadying to a new level. Throughout all the chatting I kept Brimm in my peripheral. Eventually, she sashayed over to me slightly of breath, but exuding excitement. I was happy to see her roused and light hearted. This mourning period had been rough on her. I grabbed her by the waist, drawing her into my hip, kissed her on the head and introduced her to Brad.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you!” she said spiritedly.
“I see you like to move!” Brad said while emulating a two-step that was corny as hell.
“I do! I was coming to see if Mr. Jacobs here will join me. I’d like to see his moves,” she said flirtatiously. I was flattered.
“No…no…no. I don’t dance. Besides you were looking so good out there, I can assure you the last thing you need is me stepping on your toes at every turn,” I replied.
She gave me a petulant pout. She was really in a great mood and I was tired of sharing my time with her, I wanted to get her alone.
“I think we should get ready to go,” I said gazing at her for her take as I had my arm wrapped around her shoulder.
“Oh, sure,” she said softy with a soft smile. “Brad, it was great meeting you. I’m a huge fan,” she caressed my hand hanging from her shoulder as she said that. I don’t know if I was over-thinking it, but that was her way of inviting me in while she was paying another man a compliment. I liked that.
“Why, thank you, Ms. Brimm. I appreciate that,” Brad said unperturbedly. He’s used to this type of attention.
Rayna lifted her head to me for direction. I gave Brad some dap and we made our way to the front of the property where Ray was waiting. But before we could make it to the back doors of the house I could feel eyes burning the back of my head. I turned to see Spin and Britni gawking our every move. I just ignored them and kept it moving. That Britni chick seemed like trouble.
“Thanks for dressing me up and dragging me out of the house, Azmeer!” she jeered, mocking Rick. Cute.
“Are you that wealthy that you could help fund a movie with star power like Brad?” Rayna asked intrigued.
I squinted my eyes surprised by the question. “So they say.”
We both laughed.
I’m not accustomed to speaking about my money with anyone because it’s so complicated. I’ve done extremely well legitimately, it’s noted by the IRS. But then I have an equally impressive stash of dirty money that’s under the table. I will keep my dark life away from Rayna for as long as I possibly can. That life is ending and the new one has been promising and rewarding thus far. She is a part of that new life. Out with old and in with the new.
As soon as we were in the car, Rayna scooted over and snuggled underneath me.
“Tired?” I asked.
“It’s been a long day.” She lifted her head to meet my eyes and clarified, “And it was eventful and exciting thanks to you, Mr. Jacobs.” She searched my eyes.
I nodded in acknowledgement.
The ride home was long but smooth. Rayna and I talked some and rode in silence toward the end of our journey. I thought about my exchange with Spin. She was flummoxing. I attempted to be as clear and honest with her as possible, but the look in her eyes was weird for me. She seemed hurt and I didn’t understand why.
Chapter 6
Rayna
It was a Tuesday evening and time for me to clock out of work. I couldn’t help but to feel blue. While Azna is a fury ball of joy, his nuzzling wasn’t enough to distract me from my pining of Azmir. I missed him and it had only been twenty-four hours. Normally, I’d be consumed with Michelle and Erin so it wouldn’t be much of an issue.
It saddened me to realize that I couldn’t even call to share my solitary feelings with Michelle. I suddenly realized that since our return from the East Coast, I’d been with Azmir nearly every day—and I couldn’t but guess it had been by his design. Now that he had been half way across the world, I was lonely.
Oh, well. I’ll get through this day-by-day. I always do.
When I got in the bed I was alerted of an email. It’s Azmir!
Good evening. You should be in bed by now. Shit - you had better be in bed by now. I’m all too sorry that I’m not there with you. How’s our pet child?
Holy shit! He referred to the dog as our pet child! We share something? My belly filled with butterflies. My goodness! Does this man really have this much of an effect on me?
As predicted I am in bed. A very lonely bed. A very cold, lonely bed. Azna is here relaxing with me but he’s not 6 feet 4 inches of unadulterated pleasure. However, he’s my only connection to you so I’ll deal. What are you up to?
Good. I’m taking a bathroom break from a meeting. My body is still on PST. In other words: I gotta love jones. Missing you. Gotta go…
&nbs
p; And with that, he was off.
The following day was easier but still dry. I had dance class that evening. I gave my number to Tamia’s tune a test drive and everyone went wild. Jimmy was so elated that he announced that he was planning a showcase for our choreographed numbers in a couple of months. He said that he had planned on making the announcement in a few weeks or so but seeing how much work people were putting into them his excitement wouldn’t allow him to hold onto it. I was immediately thrilled at the thought of Azmir being there to see me perform the song that we’d christened there in my makeshift dance room at my place. Then reality slapped me in the face that he was out of town and that it would be days before I see him.
As I reflected on A Purpose Driven Life I had a revelation. Why am I holding back on the one person who is asking me to love them? Why do I think that I have to mourn alone and be alone on everything? Would it be a foreign thought to believe that Azmir’s presence in my life is a gift? That his love is in my destiny? I wanted to shake this shell that towered around me, that I somehow convinced myself was for my protection. Could I just lift it a little to receive love as God intended? I knew that he didn’t exactly have in mind for love to be this unofficial, but I felt like I needed to start somewhere and with the only person willing to take a risk with me.
At home while letting Azna out to do his thing out in my tiny yard it hit me: I’m moving into Azmir’s place! It was that quick, that spurred, that simple. Why succumb to long days and lonely nights when a wonderful man—and one of Azmir’s status—is practically begging me to join lives with him?
What’s the worst that can happen?
If it doesn’t work out, I knew I’d always have a home to return to. In the back of my mind I had haunted reservations of whether or not I was doing this to avoid loneliness, but I immediately heard Michelle’s voice admonishing me, “You alone are worthy of love!”
Once Azna was done handling his business, I scooped him up and said, “We’re moving, dude! Let’s pack!”