by Terri Reed
Nathanial tried to hold on to the recollection, to expand it, to make the memory clear, but it slipped away, leaving him feeling strangely hollow.
“Nathanial?”
Audrey’s voice brought him back to the present. Aware of the director’s gaze, he kept the snippet of recall to himself. “Sorry, I was distracted by the view.”
He followed the director out of the room with Audrey’s hand gently folded in his.
* * *
Audrey paced outside the closed office door of one of the country’s top psychiatrists. Or so she and Nathanial had been informed. Nathanial had stepped inside the office over an hour ago and hadn’t emerged. Audrey was growing antsy.
The ding of the elevator brought her gaze from the waxed linoleum floor in time to see Blake Fallon step out of the car. His handsome features were dark with worry as he strode toward her, stopping a couple feet away as if afraid to get too close. But why? What made the man wary of her?
“Is he still in with Dr. Pembley?” Blake asked, his voice deep and cutting.
Audrey straightened her shoulders, unwilling to let this man’s sheer size and commanding presence intimidate her. “Yes.”
“So what’s the story?” Blake asked, his gaze narrowing. “What is it you want from Nathanial?”
Audrey tilted her head. “Want?”
“I’ve never seen him so dependent, especially on a woman,” he said.
Interesting. Not sure how to address the complicated levels that tidbit opened up, she went for the obvious and honest answer. “He’s in a vulnerable state right now. I’m only here to discover the truth and to protect him.”
“I can do that.”
“He isn’t ready to trust you.”
Hurt flashed across Blake’s face. “He was—is my best friend. He’s a good guy. Someone I trusted my life with, someone I trusted to have my back.”
“But now you’re not so sure.”
A frown marred Blake’s brow. “I am sure. The man I know wouldn’t have willingly put his team in danger. Something bad happened.” His fingers curled into fists. “He needs to remember.”
Empathy unfurled inside her chest. “He will. And he’ll be that man again. He just needs some time.” She sent up a quick prayer that Nathanial’s memories would return sooner rather than later. Or worse yet, not at all. “Tell me about him. About who he was before I found him on the beach.”
Blake raked a hand through his dark hair, making the already tousled strands even more unruly. A gold wedding band on his ring finger glinted beneath the overhead lights. “We would joke that Nathanial was ka peyakot mahihkan—a lone wolf.”
Surprise washed over her. “You speak Cree?”
“Just a few words that Nathanial taught me.”
She digested the statement. Lone wolf. “What do you mean by lone wolf? He doesn’t play well with others?”
One corner of Blake’s mouth lifted. “He does. It’s not that. He prefers recon missions and to be on watch.”
She remembered he’d said that had been Nathanial’s job on the assignment. “And in his personal life?” She hated the heat creeping up her neck, but she was curious. For his sake, not hers. Right. And pigs fly.
Wariness flared in Blake’s eyes. “He’s unattached, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
She shrugged. “Just asking.”
“The last thing he needs right now is his heart being tethered to you,” Blake said with warning in his tone.
Though she appreciated Blake watching out for his friend, she didn’t need the counsel. She wasn’t looking to tether her heart to anyone, least of all Nathanial. She might like him, care for him, even, but that was a long way from tethering. From loving.
The door to the office opened. Audrey’s heart leaped as Nathanial walked out and reached for her hand.
“I remembered something.”
TEN
“That’s good, right?” Audrey gripped his hands.
A rush of warmth traveled up Nathanial’s arms at the contact. He should have told her about the memory back at the IBETs headquarters, but the sudden flood of images and sensations he’d experienced had made him feel too raw, too vulnerable. Still did. But it was a step in the right direction toward regaining his past.
Blake lurched forward. “You remember what happened to you on that rooftop?” Blake’s urgent, hopeful tone twisted bitter regret within Nathanial.
Nathanial flicked a glance at the agent. “No, unfortunately.”
Blake blew out a frustrated breath. Nathanial didn’t blame Blake for his frustration. Men had died, and the key to bringing those men’s killers to justice lay locked within Nathanial’s skull. If only they could hook him up to some sort of machine that could pull out the memories.
Nathanial focused on Audrey. “I remembered something from my childhood. An image of a Christmas tree.”
He didn’t know what had triggered the memory, but Dr. Pembley had been able to draw out more of the details of the tree, with dangling homemade ornaments and the house filled with the scents of wood smoke and gingerbread. They agreed this was probably his childhood home. As for the yelling voices, the doctor speculated it could be from that time or another memory that was trying to come through. Hopefully the memory of what had happened to him on that rooftop. “The doc suggests I travel to my childhood home, since that seems to be where my mind wants to go.”
Audrey tilted her head. “In Saskatchewan?”
He shrugged and turned his attention on Blake. “You said that is where I’m from. Do you have an address for my family?” His heart bumped. Were his parents still alive? Did he have brothers or sisters? A wife? He slipped his hands from Audrey’s and stuffed them into the pockets of his jacket. Why couldn’t he keep a distance from this woman?
“I do. I’ll take you there,” Blake offered.
Anxiety knotted his chest. He didn’t want to go with Blake, even though it would be the wisest decision. A decision he had to make, because he needed to release Audrey. Though from the way her lush lips pressed together, he had a feeling she wouldn’t cooperate. She’d made it clear that she would see this, whatever this was, through to the end.
“I appreciate the offer,” Nathanial finally said. “No offense intended, but Audrey and I can make it there on our own.”
“Not happening.” Blake stepped closer. There was no mistaking the hurt beneath the man’s hard exterior. “If you don’t want me to accompany you, fine. But you need a team with you. I’m sure the Kelleys wouldn’t mind the trip and would provide more protection.”
“The Kelleys?” Nathanial felt as if he should know who they were, but the knowledge was just out of his mind’s reach.
Blake huffed out a breath rife with exasperation. “Drew and his wife, Sami.”
“The Mountie?” Audrey asked.
Barely sparing her a glance, Blake nodded. “Yes. His wife is FBI and works for the US legal attaché to Canada. They would make the perfect escort for you both.”
Nathanial sensed an undercurrent of strain between Blake and Audrey. He wondered what had happened between them while he was in with the doctor. He looked to Audrey to see what she thought of the backup plan.
She shrugged. “Couldn’t hurt to have more protection.”
He nodded. “All right, then.”
Having the couple along would provide a barrier between him and Audrey, too. He needed a buffer, something to keep him from giving in to the temptation to kiss the pretty sheriff’s deputy. Because the need to do so hovered close to the surface any time she was near. He inwardly sighed as he followed the others to the parking garage. He had to get a grip.
Blake drove Nathanial and Audrey to a popular hotel chain a few blocks away from the IBETs headquarters. The lobby was quiet as they waited near a
warm gas fireplace while Blake checked them in at the registration desk. Overhead, chandeliers gleamed with multiple lights. Marble floors covered with intricately woven area rugs provided texture and comfy seating invited lingering. A thirty-foot Douglas fir tree adorned in gold ornaments and shiny gold ribbon took center stage in the lobby.
Nathanial’s curiosity prompted him to ask Audrey as he sat on a dark cherry-colored chair. “What’s going on between you and Blake?”
As she took the seat across from him, she seemed to consider her words before speaking. “Nothing, really. He’s concerned about you and wants to make sure you don’t end up hurt.”
Something in her tone made him think she and Blake weren’t only referring to his physical well-being. Had Blake warned her off for some reason? Pain lanced through his head. He winced.
Audrey leaned forward to touch his knee. “You okay?”
The concern in her voice touched him. She cared. The knowledge filled him with pleasure that he quickly tamped down. So much for getting a grip. Her care and concern were born of her job, not from any heartfelt affection. They barely knew each other. The irony that he knew more about her than he did about himself nearly made him laugh, but the mirth died a fast death as helpless anger clawed through him. He wanted his memories, his life, back. Whoever had robbed him of both would pay a high price.
Blake’s approach drew Nathanial’s attention. There was something familiar about the man that seemed to knock at Nathanial’s consciousness. Knowledge of their shared past taunted him, just out of reach, ratcheting up his frustration several notches.
“Your rooms are next to each other,” the ICE agent said as he handed over the key cards.
Taking the card holder from him, Nathanial decided he needed answers. “Audrey, you go on up. I would like a moment with Blake.” He held up his hand as storm clouds gathered in her eyes. “Please.”
Her gaze bounced between him and Blake before she said to Blake, “You’ll see that he gets safely to his room?”
“Of course.” Blake’s affronted tone made her scowl.
Though Nathanial appreciated their concern, he didn’t like being talked about as if he were a child. “I can get myself to the room, thank you very much.”
A smile slid across Audrey’s face. “I didn’t mean to imply you couldn’t.”
He narrowed his gaze at her placating tone, but instead of offending him, her words touched him. “You’re worried about me. I get it. But apparently I can handle myself.”
The concern didn’t leave her gaze. “But you don’t have a weapon with you.”
Her statement stirred hesitation within him. Could he handle himself in a hand-to-hand situation? Was using a sniper rifle or a knife the only means he had to defend himself? Doubts swirled. But his need for answers outweighed his need for self-preservation. “Go on. I’ll be up shortly, and I’ll even knock on your door to let you know I arrived in one piece.”
Though it was clear from the worry in her pretty eyes that she didn’t like leaving him, she inclined her head and walked to the elevator. As soon as she stepped inside and the doors closed, Nathanial spoke to Blake. “What did you say to Audrey? She seemed upset.”
Blake snorted. “I told her what I’m going to tell you. Don’t go getting all goofy over the deputy. She’s not your type.”
“I have a type?” Nathanial would have thought leggy blondes with attitude would be right up his alley. At least this particular one was.
“Yes, you do. Ones that aren’t looking for forever,” Blake stated and moved to sit on one end of the couch in the lobby.
The heat from the gas fireplace buffeted Nathanial as he followed Blake, sat in the chair and leaned in so his voice wouldn’t carry despite the fact they were alone in the lounge area. “So I don’t have any one special lady pining away for me?” He needed to confirm what Blake was saying. Not having a girlfriend waiting for him was good news and eased some of the guilt at his attraction to Audrey constricting his chest. He still wasn’t sure he was good enough for the pretty deputy.
“Oh, I’m sure there are women across both borders who’d be more than willing to be your special someone,” Blake replied dryly. “But no.” He let out a wry chuckle. “You date. A lot. But you don’t get serious.”
That didn’t sound so good. “Why not?”
Blake shrugged. “How should I know? You always boast you like your freedom. I don’t want to see you making a decision that affects your future out of some misguided sense of gratitude for Audrey saving your life.”
Digesting that statement left a cold spot in Nathanial’s heart. He was a serial dater? Afraid of commitment? But why? What had happened in his past to make him want to be free of relationships?
Blake’s lips twisted in ironic amusement. “But you were more than happy to push me toward my wife, Liz. Let’s see, you told me I was afraid of feeling.” He let out a chuckle. “You were right, as you usually are. I was afraid.”
Hearing the other man talk about something Nathanial had said in the past sent a fresh sliver of pain slicing through Nathanial’s brain. He wanted to remember the conversation. To remember what it had been like to see this man fall in love. Nathanial assumed Liz was now Blake’s wife. “You married her.”
“I did. Best decision I ever made.” Love for his bride shone in his dark eyes. “We live on Hilton Head Island.” His happiness dimmed. “You’ve been to the house several times.”
Nathanial’s chest caved slightly. “You said I was your best man at your wedding. So I take it you and I know—knew—each other well.”
Blake splayed his hands on his knees. “Yes.” He reached inside the breast pocket of his overcoat for his wallet. He flipped it open to reveal two photographs. One of his bride, an attractive honey blonde that Nathanial didn’t recognize.
The other image was a group shot of at least eight men dressed in tuxedos. Nathanial recognized the members of the IBETs team he’d recently reconnected with. Nathanial had his arm slung around Blake’s shoulders while mugging for the camera. Staring at the photo, Nathanial fought his faulty mind, desperate to recall this day when he’d appeared to be happy. A splitting headache was his compensation.
Rubbing at his temple, he said, “Tell me about the mission.”
Blake put the wallet away. “We’d been tracking the movements of Sergei Kosloff, a Russian immigrant to the US. Over the past few years he’s been slowly building his empire, dealing in arms, drugs, human trafficking...you name it.
“An informant within his organization flipped for a reduced sentence. Naming dates and times of illegal weapons crossing the US–Canada border. Our task was to seize this latest shipment and turn as many of his men as we could in hopes of finding Kosloff’s base of operation.
“We know it’s somewhere on the East Coast and that he has connections in several states where firearms are bought, then transported to other states before they’re finally smuggled into Canada. From there many of the weapons are dispersed within Canada, but some are also transported to Europe.”
Nathanial scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “The man we captured at the Calico Bay sheriff’s department had had an Eastern European accent.”
“That’s what Sheriff Crump said. He, no doubt, worked for Kosloff but he didn’t come up in any database. He must have been new to the organization.”
“And Kosloff had him killed,” Nathanial pointed out. Clearly the master criminal didn’t like loose ends. Was Nathanial one of Kosloff’s loose ends? Had he been working for Kosloff as Chase suggested? The thought tied his insides into knots. “Have you checked all the team members for any unexplainable payouts?” He held his breath, waiting for the answer and hoping nothing showed in his own bank account.
“I did. Came up empty.”
A small measure of relief filled Nathanial. But they were no closer to
solving the mystery of who and why. He hated to think he’d been involved with Kosloff. But the possibility lingered like a bad odor.
Going home might be the only way to regain his memory, the only way to clear his own name and find the guilty party.
Anxiety kicked up in his gut. A part of him was afraid to remember, but he had to know—good guy or bad?
* * *
Audrey freshened up in her hotel room. The view from the bedroom window overlooked the Capitol Building. The sun had set while she waited for Nathanial to reach his room. The world had been cast into inky shadows broken by the glow of a million lights—streetlamps, inside the many buildings and monuments, and the cars crawling along the avenues.
Despite the cheer of Christmas decorations everywhere, there was franticness about the city that made her antsy. Or it could be she was worried that something would happen to Nathanial and she wouldn’t be there to protect him.
The slight knock on the door connecting her room to the next had her heart jumping. She hurried to the door and yanked it open.
Backlit by the glow of the lamp on the dresser, Nathanial grinned. “Miss me?”
She had, but she wasn’t going to admit it. “Glad to see you made it alive.”
She brushed past him to enter his room, which was laid out exactly like her own. A new suitcase sat on the bed, the tag still hanging from the handle. Inside the bag were some fresh clothes.
“I stopped in the gift shop before coming up.”
“Good idea.” Though she didn’t like the idea of him wandering around unprotected. She went to the window and studied the line of sight from the buildings across the street. Not detecting anything untoward, she closed the room-darkening curtains. “Stay away from the window. If anyone knocks on your door, don’t answer. Come knock on my door.”
He didn’t acknowledge her comment, but instead asked, “Are you hungry?”
She hadn’t thought about food. But she knew they both needed to eat to keep up their energy. “I’ll order room service.”