by T. L. Haddix
“Hell, no.” Just the thought made his chest tighten.
Molly rolled her eyes. “Please. I cut my teeth on brothers ten times more stubborn than you, and all the protesting in the world won’t convince me you aren’t. I’m so sorry,” she said, her voice softening. “You must be absolutely terrified.”
That much she had right. He was terrified. “Yeah, I’m scared. Not because I’m in love with her. I care for Lily, of course, but…” He stopped, annoyed, when Molly slowly shook her head. “What?”
“You can lie to yourself, but you can’t fool me. Would it be the end of the world to fall in love with her? It isn’t like you two don’t live in each other’s pockets. Well, you used to.”
There was a wealth of sadness in her eyes, something that made him think Molly had more than a little personal experience with heartbreak.
“I can’t fall in love again,” he said gently.
She laughed. “You’re an idiot if you think you get a choice. I suppose you chose the first time around, didn’t you?”
He sent her a stern look. “With respect, I’m not talking about that.”
A gust of wind danced through the barn, and she tucked a stray hair that had come loose from her ponytail behind her ear. “Fair enough. You’ll think about it though.”
She was right, damn it, but he wasn’t about to admit that. “I don’t know how to fix things with Lily. Everything I try seems to break things more. And I’m not talking about love and romance, so get the hearts and stars out of your eyes, Red.”
“Have you tried talking to her?”
Warren’s growl was born of pure frustration. “I’ve tried and tried to talk to her. For months, I tried. She wouldn’t talk to me.” He paced to the open door. “And now that she’s back, everything I say makes it worse. She is my friend, and I don’t want to lose her. What can I do?”
She joined him at the door. “Honestly, until you’ve worked out your feelings, I wouldn’t try. Oh, I wouldn’t go out of the way to antagonize her, but give her some space. Give yourself some space. Things will work out how they’re meant to.”
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of the damned Fates. I want things to be easy again.”
This time, her laugh caught on what sounded too much like a cry. “You definitely should know that’s not how life works.”
He studied her, noting her sadness, the faint circles under her eyes. “Are you okay, Molly?”
“Is it my turn on the therapist’s couch?” she asked, her dimples popping out with her grin. They faded as she traced the logo on her coffee cup. “I’m thinking about quitting my job.”
Warren raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“I hate it,” she confessed, her voice so quiet he had to strain to hear her. “The doctors are assholes, the nurses are either worked to death or trying to score a doctor by fair means or foul. That means the ones on the prowl don’t do their jobs, and that makes it harder for the ones who do. And the patients… I never expected to have such mixed feelings. I hate the work. I feel like I’m not making a bit of difference, and no one wants to listen to the advice we give them. I feel like I’m speaking a foreign language sometimes, and I can’t tell if they don’t understand me or are playing the fool.
“It’s so far from what I expected. I tried to reconcile the difference, tried to give it time to change, for myself to adjust. It’s just getting worse.” She wiped away a tear. “Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, my brothers… everyone really. They’re going to be so disappointed, but I can’t do it anymore.”
Warren put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her. “I’m sorry. What are you going to do?”
“Get heavily tattooed and move to Vegas to work as a stripper?”
He chuckled. “Surely not.”
Her sigh was heavy. “No, I guess not. I just hate to disappoint everyone.”
“You know, I don’t think a single one of the people you listed want to see you sacrifice your happiness on the altar of what sounds like abject misery. As a matter of fact, I think they’d be more disappointed if you weren’t true to yourself.” He ruffled her hair gently. “You’re a smart woman, Red. Life’s too short, isn’t that what you’re always saying?”
She eyed him shrewdly. “I’ve mentioned that a time or two, yes.”
He ignored the fact that his words could apply to his own situation as well. “Does Lily know?”
“No. I’ve been working up the courage to tell her. To tell all of them.”
“At least you aren’t pregnant,” he said, tongue in cheek.
That surprised a laugh from her, and she poked him in the ribs. “I suppose that’s a consolation. I just hate to do it now, when the boys are so happy. They’re both going to be fathers. Did you hear?”
Warren shook his head. “I didn’t. Both of them, huh?” A familiar sense of loss washed over him, but he let it go as he’d learned to do in recent years. Dwelling on the loss only made it more painful, and that pain served no purpose.
Molly straightened. “I’d best keep looking for Lily. I might kidnap her and have her go with me to tell everyone.”
“That’s not a bad idea. You know she’ll support you in this. And everyone else will come around, even if they are surprised. They just want you to be happy. That’s practically a motto in the Campbell family, isn’t it?”
She gave a soft laugh. “Just about. Thanks for listening.”
“Back at you. But if you could keep what we discussed between us…”
She shook her finger at him. “I will, but you’d better get used to the idea that love is in your future.”
“Optimist.”
“Realist,” she shot back, then grew serious. “Life is too short, Warren. Don’t throw happiness away because you’re scared.”
He tugged her ponytail. “Exactly. Take your own advice, missy.”
After she’d gone, he wandered back into the barn, heading for his office. It dawned on him as he sat down at his desk that aside from her initial surprise, Molly hadn’t shown a single moment of horror or disapproval that he was involved with Lily. Neither had Caleb.
Warren didn’t know what to think about that. It didn’t matter, he supposed, given that he wouldn’t ever have a real romantic relationship with her. But there was something sad about knowing he could easily gain the approval of people whose opinions mattered.
If the world had been different, if he’d met Lily as a young man who just happened to come to work for her family as part of a normal life event, he’d have fallen head over heels for her without much thought. It would have been as easy as falling for Jessie had been.
Part of him was furious that he couldn’t be that innocent, fresh-faced kid who didn’t know the kind of devastating heartache that had brought him to his knees. That he couldn’t have the chance to have a normal, happy life. That he was too afraid of losing again to try.
And part of him was relieved that he’d been scarred so badly, as it gave him an excuse to protect his heart. He wasn’t in love with Lily. Of course not. Molly was just a romantic kid, and she didn’t know what she was talking about.
“That’s all it is. She’s just used to seeing Cupids everywhere. Given how many weddings there’ve been in the Campbell family in the last few years, that’s not surprising.”
But as he pulled his laptop over and opened it up to place the supply order, he couldn’t quite ignore the little voice in the back of his mind--the one that sounded suspiciously like his late wife--that was laughing at him for being such a fool.
Chapter Thirteen
“I think I’ll go home tomorrow,” Molly said late Wednesday afternoon as they sat in the shade by the pool, being lazy and relaxing. “I have to tell everyone I’m quitting my job, and I might as well get it over with.”
Lily studied her, hiding her concern behind a pair of large sunglasse
s. “I think they’ll take the news well enough. You call me if there’s a problem, okay? I’ll be down there before you know it. I told you I’d go with you. I meant that.”
“I know. I appreciate the offer. I need to do it on my own though. Besides, you need to stay here and take care of Willy.”
“Who?”
Molly lifted an eyebrow and pursed her lips. “Willy. Warren and Lily.”
Mouth agape, Lily stared at her. “There’s nothing to take care of.”
“Mm-hmm. Sure there isn’t. How do you explain the tension between you then?”
Where to start? Lily was reluctant to get into the specifics, and not just because she wanted to keep what had happened between her and Warren private. She didn’t want to have to admit that she’d turned tail and fled the damned country to avoid talking to the man.
“We’re just working through some things, that’s all.” She groaned and sank lower on the lounge. “It’s almost time to start cooking.”
“You have enough planned to feed an army,” Molly teased. “What are you going do with the leftovers?”
“Enjoy not having to cook for a few days.”
They both laughed. Lily had inherited her mother’s love of cooking, and if she wasn’t painting or with the horses, chances were excellent she was playing with recipes.
“What in the world are we going to do with ourselves?” Molly asked as they headed inside a bit later. “Now that we’re both going to be unemployed, I mean. Or do you have plans?”
Lily glanced over her shoulder as she stopped at the sink. “I was thinking about asking for my old job back, but I don’t know if I should. What with the unease between Warren and me right now.” She washed her hands, hating the uncertainty that rose up to plague her. It had been dogging her footsteps for almost a year, it seemed, and she was getting tired of it.
Molly bumped her aside and turned the faucet toward herself. “For heaven’s sake, go for it. If you’re working together, you’ll have to deal with whatever has you at odds, right?”
“You would think.” Lily sighed and opened the fridge to take out the ingredients they’d need. “I don’t know if he’d hire me or not.”
“You could go over his head.”
“I could. I won’t.” She gripped the edges of the counter of the huge island that took up the center of the room, letting out a deep sigh that felt as if it came from her toes. “I’ll go down tomorrow, I guess. See what I see. Mickey’s having his wisdom teeth out Friday, and I know that’s going to leave a gap for a week or so, enough maybe that I can slide in without too much fuss. And then maybe things will smooth out. What about you?”
Molly shrugged as she got out a cutting board and knife, as familiar with the kitchen as Lily. “I think I’d like to travel a bit. Not like what you did with Agatha, not around the world, I don’t believe. But I have a decent chunk of change saved up from my salary, and I’d like to see some of the country. It feels like running away, however.”
Lily studied her. “Maybe you should run away. Go out and play. Have fun simply because you can. You’ve never really done that, you know.”
“I haven’t, no. Did you know, I was so jealous of Easton that he got to go with you.”
Easton was their cousin, their aunt Rachel’s son. He was only a few weeks younger than Lily, and he’d accompanied her and Agatha during most of their journey over the last eight months.
“I didn’t know that, no. I’m so sorry, Molly.”
Molly shrugged. “Don’t be. I think that’s what one of my first clues was, that I was in the wrong place.” She grinned. “He was so excited, I felt guilty for the jealousy.”
Lily smiled. “He did get a kick out of being her ‘strapping young lad,’ I have to say.”
Not feeling comfortable with the idea of the two of them being alone in certain parts of the world, Agatha had asked Lily if she knew a man they might invite to come along.
“Someone big and strong and intimidating, but not too much so,” she’d specified.
Immediately, Lily had thought of Easton. He was tall, at least six-four, and he was in school studying for a degree in criminology. He had plans to become a Kentucky State Trooper after graduation. Thanks to the strong influence of several relatives who were cops, he already had a good deal of the bearing of a law enforcement officer, at least on the surface.
“It was good that he was able to take the year off,” Molly said. “I know there was some concern that he’d go straight into wearing the badge as soon as he got out of school, and he wouldn’t take the time to have fun first. Not that it’s such a gloom-and-doom job or anything, but I think Rachel was afraid he’d get burned out before he even got out of the gate.” She crunched on a slice of bell pepper, wrinkling her nose. “I hate peppers.”
Lily swatted her lightly with the dish towel. “Then why do you keep trying them, silly?”
“Because they smell so danged good, I keep hoping they’ll taste the same.”
“Stubborn Campbell.” Lily chuckled and shook her head. “As to the burnout, I think you’d know about that.” They exchanged a look.
“Voice of experience, m’dear. Want me to peel the taters?”
They worked side by side in the kitchen for the next little while, with the easy companionship that made Lily feel as though Molly was her sister and not just a cousin. She was still concerned, but as the afternoon wore on, she could see a calm resolve settling in around Molly, and Lily was able to let go of some of her worry.
Ben came in first, right at five o’clock, covered in dust. He briefly hugged them both, stealing bites from the various dishes as he passed. “This looks so good. I’m starving to death. We barely stopped today. I’m going to go get cleaned up. Has your mom come in yet?”
“Nope. Soon though, probably.”
He headed for the door. “If not, I’ll go find her. Back in a bit.”
Lily watched him go, a little sad. When Molly gently nudged her, she sighed.
Molly frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I was thinking about him and Mom, about how happy they are. About how nice that has to be, you know, to belong to someone. They’ve been married almost thirty years, and half the time, I feel like I’m watching newlyweds. They each have their own jobs, their own lives, but as soon as the work day ends, they’re looking for each other.”
“I think it’s because they came so close to losing each other forever,” Molly mused. “From what I’ve heard, it was a rough time for them.”
“It was.” Lily didn’t like to think about what her parents had gone through, courtesy of Ainsley’s wicked, evil mother. “It puts things in perspective, you know?”
“I do.”
She did, Lily supposed. John and Zanny, Molly’s parents, had gone through their own rough patch long before Molly was born.
“You know, they were only nineteen when Geneva broke them up.” Lily cursed as she cracked the shell of a hard-boiled egg too hard on the counter, sending pieces flying. “That’s the same age Warren was when… you know. Can you imagine going through something like what they went through? Any of them? Shoot, Mol, I barely knew my ass from a hole in the ground when I was nineteen. I still don’t feel like I know what I’m doing.”
“No, I can’t imagine it. I do think it probably explains why Warren’s never remarried,” Molly said. “Going through what he did? It had to leave scars. That doesn’t mean he can’t learn to live again though. I told him he should do just that the other day.”
Lily paused, blinking at her with surprise. “You what?”
“Told him to get on with things. Life’s too short. He said he’d think about it. I’ll be right back. Nature’s calling and all that. Excuse me.”
“What just happened?” Lily muttered to the empty kitchen once Molly had gone. “He’d think about it? What the hell does that
mean?” She couldn’t wrap her head around the idea that Molly and Warren had had such a momentous conversation, and that Molly apparently had no idea how significant that talk had been. Unless Molly knew… she narrowed her eyes. “No. I’m feeling guilty, that’s all.”
But she wasn’t so sure. Molly knew her awfully well. She might have put two and two together. Lily wasn’t about to broach the subject with her. As much as she loved Molly, she wasn’t ready to talk about Warren.
While she checked on the chicken she had marinating, she sighed, thinking about tomorrow. In different ways, the day was bound to be difficult for her and for Molly.
“Well, universe, if we have guardian angels, now’d be a good time for them to start arming themselves. I think we’re going to need all the luck we can get.” She said a quick prayer that everything went well for Molly as she told her parents and everyone about her job decision, but Lily didn’t have any real fears it wouldn’t.
It might not be the easiest thing in the world for her cousin to do, just as asking Warren for a job wouldn’t be easy for her. But one way or another, surely things would work out.
“One thing I know sure as shooting, the next little bit isn’t going to be boring.”
Chapter Fourteen
Even though the distance from the main barn where he’d parked his truck to the house wasn’t far, Warren decided to drive instead of walk. The sky was clouding up quickly, and he didn’t particularly feel like getting caught in a thunderstorm. That was due in large part to the length of the day he’d had, as well as the throbbing cut on his shoulder that was starting to really get on his nerves. If he hadn’t promised Ainsley a fax that had been late coming in, he’d have gone straight home.
But he had promised it to her, and the detour would only take a couple of minutes. He didn’t go to the front door but instead, after a brief hesitation, headed for the side door that led into the kitchen, the door reserved for family and friends. Normally he wouldn’t have given using the kitchen door a second thought. These days weren’t feeling very normal though.